Chapter 12

"Closure"

~*~ I am sorry this chapter took a little longer, but I hope you all like it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and for the favorites and alerts. I appreciate all of them.~*~

Bella's Pov

I awoke the next morning alone. I questioned whether or not all that happened yesterday was just a dream but the feelings that were coursing through my veins were too real to be an after affect to a twisted delusion.

I didn't have time to think about it though because sounds of voices that were coming from down stairs distracted me. There were many and all familiar but I could not recognize what they were saying and I couldn't understand why so many people were here. I jumped from my bed and headed down stairs.

As soon as I set foot into the living room all the voices turned into hush whispers and then disappeared. They were coming from the kitchen and when I entered I found Embry, Sam, Billy, and to my surprise a distraught Jacob sitting there. They all stared at me and didn't say a word.

"What's going on?" I asked, while meeting everyone's eyes.

"Oh nothing to worry about Bella, we were just leaving." Billy said while beginning to wheel towards the door, but everyone else's faces said something else.

"No what is going on?" I asked while walking over to Embry, knowing that he wouldn't keep anything from me.

"It's Raquel." I heard someone say from behind me. I turned and came face to face with Jake. He was now standing behind me and his face I couldn't bare to look at. It wasn't because this is the face that I longed to wake up to or the fact that this face has broken me to pieces, it was because this face looked broken now.

You would think that I would be happy to see him like this. You would even think that I would laugh in his face and walk away, but I didn't and I don't think I could've if I tried.

The words that came out of my mouth next were frightening to me. I was scared of what I was going to put my heart through but as if it were instinct I went ahead anyway.

"What happened?" I asked while now staring him dead straight into his beautiful eyes.

It was then that Embry stepped in.

"Now Jake don't you think she has been through enough and then some more. She doesn't need to hear this. We will figure it out. I will help you." Embry said while now standing between us, but it was as if he didn't say a word. Jake stared straight through him.

Our eyes were locked and a lot was being said there. It was as if everything that has happened was being tossed back ad forth between us.

I expected time to heal me, but what I realized within those few minutes was that there wasn't enough time to heal these wounds. Time was not on my side and if I wanted to move through this, I had to depend on something else.

I had to face it head on for now on and quit running. I have ran away from him and everything that has went on for this past month and today I wasn't going to do that again. I felt the tear escape and cascade down my cheek, but I wasn't breaking this time, I was healing.

"No Embry." I said while nudging him to move out of my way.

"Jake what happened? What do you mean its Raquel? Is she okay?" I asked and it was as if my words stabbed him. He winced and then shied away from me, breaking our eye contact and stepping back into the chair that I found him in. I knew whatever was wrong was hurting him dearly and like I said I thought this was what I wanted to see but it wasn't. It hurt to see him hurt, because deep down I knew I would forever love and care about him.

"I don't know if she is okay. She left me…" he said while letting the last sentence hang in the air like a forbidden sound.

"What do you mean she left you?" I asked and yet again not feeling better by hearing any of this.

"She said she was going to her moms to visit and she would be back, but.." he began to say but stopped while putting his head down on the table.

"Hey do you guys mind if I have some time to talk to him by myself?" I asked everyone who obliged by walking out the door. It was Embry that was left behind, he obviously didn't want to leave, but I needed this and I defiantly couldn't do it in front of Embry.

Embry looked to Jake, whose head was still on the table and then back to me.

"I will be fine. I just want a minute with him." I said. He then forced a smile and headed out the door while leaving me with Jake.

"I am so sorry Bella. I screwed everything up. I hurt you and now I hurt Raquel. I didn't do anything right." He said while now looking back to me. Our eyes were locked again and it wasn't fun to look at his tear stained face. The strong, easy going Jake with tears and pure sensitivity written all over his face, was out of place. It wasn't meant to be there but I guess this is what imprinting does to these strong men. It makes them weaker.

"What do you mean you hurt Raquel?" I asked while knowing he was right about handling everything that went on but he was already beating himself up about it and it wouldn't be right for me to add to it.

"She left me a text that said she wasn't coming home and that she didn't want me to go there. She said she felt like she was tearing everyone apart and she felt bad for what happened to you." He finished while now not looking at anything in general but just staring out in space.

I was trying to take this all in. Not once had I thought of how Raquel felt. Why would I? Why would I care? She is the reason of my pain. Her existence is every reason why I hurt so much.

"Have you tried talking to her?" I asked while breaking Jake's trance. He was clearly not here anymore and off in some memory of his, but I couldn't bear to think what that memory was.

"Yea but I can't go up there. You do what your imprint wants. If they only want to be friends your to be there friend even if you want more. If they don't want you around you don't go around them, even if it hurts, even if you feel like you can't go on without them, you listen to what they want." He said while now running his hands through his hair roughly as if he could sweep away all of the pain he was feeling.

I was still back on the friend part though. That's what I wanted from Embry and even though I knew Embry would most likely want more than I could give right now; Jake just confirmed that for a fact.

"Jake what if I went to talk to her?"

The moment the words left my mouth I tensed up. I knew what pain this would cause but I also knew that it might help Jake with his and that was enough for me. I was the bigger person here and I was a big enough person to help him right now.

Although I was on the defense and trying to protect myself, Jake had hope in his eyes. He stood up instantly and was right in front of me.

He reached for the side of my face and I instantly moved away. His face was a mixture of emotions. Sorrow, hopeful, and anger it seemed.

"Bella I am really sorry for what I did to you. If I could go back and change the way I handled things I would without a doubt. I still love and care about you. I know that doesn't make any of this better. It might even make it worst but I wanted you to know that.

"..and I know that your not fully ready to start over, but Embry.." he began to say and then gritted his teeth as if it was something hard to say.

"Embry is a good guy and he will never hurt you like I did. I promise you that." He finished and I could already feel the tears that wanted to break through. I wouldn't let them though.

I am a strong person! I kept telling myself.

"Thanks Jake." I said and then silence swept in and I welcomed it for the moment. It helped me get my thoughts straight.

"So where is her mother's house? So I can go talk to her." I finally asked.

Jake's face lightened up at my question and I couldn't help but smile a little.

After Jake gave me directions and the keys to his rabbit, I ran upstairs to change and then I headed outside where I found everyone sitting on the porch and I couldn't help but wonder if they heard everything since from what I learned they have exceptional hearing.

"I will be right back guys." I said without waiting for a response and then hopped into Jake's rabbit.

As I pulled out I couldn't help but wonder what I got myself into. My chest hurt and I was on the verge of an anxiety attack but I didn't care. I knew this was the right thing to do even if it felt like it wasn't.

I tried to get my thoughts in order as I drove to Raquel's mother's house. I had no idea what I would say to her and I didn't even know if I would be able to look at her. I knew I shouldn't put all the blame on her. It wasn't as if she made him imprint on her.

The drive there was short. She lived in Forks near my father and as I pulled in I realized that I remembered this house from when I was a kid. There would be a little girl that would have a lemonade stand every summer in this yard. I used to get a glass for me and Jake before heading down to visit him.

It's amazing how life changes and how everyone's lives cross sometimes and for many different reasons.

I don't know how long I sat there while reminiscing the past. I was beginning to finally get out of my car when Raquel came outside. She looked just as miserable as Jake did and maybe even more after she recognized me.

I took a deep breath and then told myself that I could do this one more time under my breath and then headed for the porch.

"Hey Raquel." I said while also noticing how shaky my voice has became.

"Hello Bella."

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Sure. Come inside." She said while walking through the door. I followed her while thinking about what it was that I wanted to talk to her about.

Her mother's house was beautiful on the inside. It looked as if it came out of a magazine. The living room was a warm brown. The furniture and decorations were all autumn colors and it had a beautiful fire place. The room was comforting and even more comforting with the pumpkin spice scent that lingered with it.

We sat down on the comfortable couch that had many fluffy throw pillows on it.

"So what do you want to talk about?" she asked while trying to sit comfortably but yet failing to do so. She kept fidgeting and flattening out her skirt that she wore. I could tell that she had been crying, by the red splotches on her cheeks.

I will admit that I didn't get to really look at Raquel before and I had obvious reasons why I didn't. She was my competition that I felt like I have been up against. I pictured her as a strong girl who didn't have a heart and even though I knew I had no evidence of this, it was because of the situation that we were put in for me to jump to harsh conclusions, but now that I was face to face with her, it was a different story.

She looked fragile and kind. She wasn't the most beautiful girl that I ever seen but she was pretty. She had light brown wavy hair that fell past her shoulders. She had pretty green eyes that sparkled in the light and a light patch of freckles scattered over her cheeks and nose. She was pretty and I couldn't lie about that although it did hurt to admit it.

"I think you know why I am here Raquel." I said while pausing to see if she would say anything, but she only nodded and leaned back into the couch. She still seemed very uncomfortable, which made me feel even more uncomfortable doing this.

"Raquel why did you leave Jake?" I asked the million dollar question.

She then sat up and stared at me as if I lost my mind.

"I thought you would be happy if I left. If I would be out of the picture." She said while sounding a little harsh. I was taken back by her answer and almost didn't know what to say until anger hit me.

"Well then you obviously don't know me." I bit which made her back down.

"I am sorry for being rude, it's just that I am so sick and tired of competing with you and then seeing you all upset and knowing that I came into the picture and ruined everything for you guys. If I would have never met Jake then he would have never imprinted and.." she began to rant.

"but then Embry would have imprinted on me." I said while trying to cut her off. I was still stunned that she felt like she was competing with me.

"I just feel so bad for what all happened." She said.

"Do you love him Raquel?" I asked while crossing my arms and pressing them tightly to my chest as if it would hold the pain still.

"Yes. Yes I do very much." She said.

"Well then why are you here and not with him? He is a mess right now and I know you feel bad but so do I. I wish this would have never happened, to tell you the truth, but all of this was out of our hands. It's not making everything right again by leaving him Raquel." I said while holding myself even tighter now, but I only spoke the truth.

She seemed like she didn't know what to say. I could tell that she felt a little better by the look that was on her face. I also knew that she wanted to be with him just as bad as he wanted to be with her.

"Come on. Let's go. I will take you to him." I said while standing and pulling on her arm. She finally stood and began to follow me outside.

"Bella I am really sorry about all of this. I couldn't imagine how hard this all is on you. I.."

"Raquel its okay, let's just leave it in the past. I am fine." I said while cutting her off and jumping inside Jake's rabbit and thanking god that she was coming back with me. I didn't think that I could look at Jake with him being that upset again.

The drive back was quiet but I didn't care. I didn't know what there was else to say to her. I didn't exactly want to be her friend. That would be too hard but at least I felt some closure from all of this. It was as if I was finally letting go.

I had barely pulled into the drive way before Jake was walking with the car. He looked like an eager puppy waiting to greet you when you got home. Only this puppy wasn't waiting for me but was waiting for her and I think for the first time I was okay with that. What they had was really something and there was no denying it.

When I parked Raquel was already out the door and in Jake's arms before I could even open mine. I didn't pay any mind to them though. Instead I was looking at Embry who sat on the porch and looked obviously worried.

I began to get out and was quickly swooped up into Jake's arms before I had the chance. It hurt to touch him, but yet it felt so good. He then released me while still holding onto my shoulders.

"Thank you so much Bella." He said while scanning my face and then hugging me again.

After he released me I noticed Embry standing next to us. Without thinking of why I was doing it, I then tucked myself into the side of Embry and laid my face against his chest. I felt so safe and so comfortable there, almost like a child. I think he was taken back because it took him a few seconds to let his arms wrap around me. He then bent his face down and kissed the top of my head.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Now I am." I said while watching Jake and Raquel hugging each other tightly while talking to Sam and Billy.

About an hour later everyone left. I was happy to see them go though. The morning was full of too many emotions and I felt emotionally drained. I walked into the living room and fell back onto the couch and I didn't plan on getting up for a good few hours.

"I am proud of what you did today. That was very kind of you to do that despite how you feel about them." Embry said while walking into the living room.

I sat up in spite of not wanting to so Embry could sit.

"Thanks but it was what should have been done. She shouldn't feel bad for anything. All of this was out of our hands. I guess it was destiny." I said while leaning into him.

I was off into thought and didn't even realize how quiet it became. I turned to look at Embry only to find him staring at me. I have seen him look this way before but could never distinguish what he was thinking but right now for some reason it was clear to me. His eyes were filled with love and that love was directed straight at me. His warmth against my side and his eyes being unbearably comforting, without thinking or reasoning I leaned forward. Wanting and craving the sensation of feeling loved and cared for and not forgotten or thrown to the side.

He seemed puzzled at first before he too leaned forward and then met me in the middle.

His lips were so soft and warm. It felt like Christmas Eve night sitting next to a fire. I wanted more. I needed more…I opened my mouth and let my tongue trace his lips while taking in his taste of cinnamon and pine. It was as if my whole body was exploding. Heat rushed up through me and left me feeling all tingly. I went deeper into our kiss and then naturally found my place onto his lap and my fingers through his hair. I could feel his hands roaming my lower back and slowly onto my butt. My core felt his member hardening underneath it.

I didn't let my mind think about what I was doing; instead I let my heart lead the way.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

We then heard which made both of us jump. I was out of his lap within seconds as if I was a school girl caught by her teacher. We were both breathing so hard and my head was swirling which made me dizzy. Heat was still radiating throughout my body and all I could do was stare at him. He had shock written all over his face.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

We heard which instantly made us jump again. We some how forgot about the door, which was the reason we broke away from each other in the first place, while we tried to take in what had just happened.

I didn't know what to say or what to do so I did what I knew best to do. I ran. I ran upstairs and into my bedroom and left Embry to get the door.

When I entered my room I shut the door and fell onto my bed and decided I would not for any reason get back up.

What did I just do? I kept asking myself, but even though I was in shock of what I just did I was even more in shock of how it felt to do it. I never thought I would feel that way again after Jake, and yet it felt even better than what I had before.

I could hear that it was the ups guy who Embry has been waiting for, for a week, at the door.

I curled up into my bed and tried to shake off the heat that seemed to want to linger with me. My head was still swirling and I couldn't help but smile.

For once in this past month I felt loved, but what did that mean and most importantly what do I do now?