"What is Dan freakin' Humphrey doing here?" Blair said and rolled her eyes.

Serena looked at Nate nervously.

He gave her a smile in return.

She sighed.

"He says he is here to see Miss Serena." Dorota said and Blair stood up from where she was sitting.

"Well if he wants to see Serena…No problem." She took Serena's hand.

"B, maybe it's not such a good idea for me to see him now… I mean, after all that's happened"

Serena was biting her lip, she hadn't seen Dan since she moved out from the loft, and she didn't really want that to change now.

"Even more reason to see him."

Blair turned around and looked at Nate.

"You're coming to, Archibald"

Nate sighed overdramatically.

Blair sent him a look he knew too well, and he had no choice but to follow the two girls out in the hall.


"Well hello there."

Blair said and looked at Dan.

Dan didn't look at Blair at all. He was only looking at his ex-girlfriend in her ex-boyfriend's shirt. Only her ex-boyfriend's shirt. And right after her came Nate. He really wasn't expecting this.

"I just wanted to talk to Serena…"

Dan felt uncomfortable.

"I didn't think you two were speaking..."

He looked from Serena to Nate.

"That's the impression you gave me, Nate"

Nate looked to the ground.

"Sorry, man...But…"

Blair interrupted him.

"That's not really any of your business, now is it, Humphrey?"

"Blair."

Serena said and looked at her best friend.

"I'll leave you two to it then"

Blair turned around and walked back towards the kitchen.

"Nate, if you don't mind…"

She sighed.

"I think me and Dan should talk alone."

Nate just nodded and walked away. Clearly not happy with the whole situation and it gave Serena a bad feeling in her stomach. Fear. Fear of losing him again. In that moment she really understood how important he was to her. And all she really wanted to do was to walk after him and throw her arms around him. To whisper I love you in his ear. And never ever let go of him.

Instead she turned to speak to Dan.

"I guess we should talk then" She said and went for the coach.

Dan followed her, but he didn't sit down next to her.

"So…"

He started, didn't quite know how to continue.

"I thought you didn't choose either of us…"

He knew it sounded childish, but it bothered him.

"I'm sorry, Dan. " She took a deep breath.

"Or I'm not really sorry. I love Nate. And I can't be sorry for that. It's just what it is."

"You kissed me last spring. You kissed me and a kiss always means something. It must have meant something to you… Anything… Because it meant so much to me."

Serena looked to the ground. Didn't know how to put her feelings to words.

"I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm not saying this because I don't love you. Because I do love you, but not in the way you want me to, need me to…"

"The kiss didn't mean anything to me. I was just mad at Nate, and you were there. You comforted me and in a weak moment, one of the weakest in my life, I kissed you. I did like I've done many times before. I let the fear of being alone take over; I pushed away someone that I loved just because he didn't see things exactly like I did. But I see now that Nate only did what he did out of love…"

She played with her hair and avoided eye contact with him. She felt kind of embarrassed.

"I feel like you've been playing with me. Not only now, but ever since I met you. Ever since we started dating. I was just the toy you were playing with while Blair had you favorite toy. When that became available, you we're done with me…"

"How can you say that? Do you really think our relationship didn't mean anything to me? If you really feel that way, you clearly don't know me at all. I loved you; I was in love with you. But we weren't meant to be. We weren't supposed to be together, and so many things showed us that…"

Dan just shook his head in silence.

Serena sat there and waited for him to speak. She had said all she wanted to say, needed to say to him. So he could move on. She really wanted him to move on, be happy. Without her.

"I was always your second choice, weren't I?"

She didn't answer. She wanted to say no, but knew if she did she would be lying.

She knew he saw her doubt, she could see he deep down knew the answer to his own question and that he had only said it out loud as a last hope. That he had hoped she would tell him it wasn't the case. That he was her first choice, but their family and all other drama had come in their way. That it wasn't the fact that she loved Nate. That she'd always loved Nate.

"I'm gonna go."

He gave her one last look.

"Take care, Dan"

She said and hoped he soon would be okay with all of this. She still wanted him in her life. And even though he didn't want her in his at the moment, they really didn't have much choice, with their families and everything.


"What do you think they're talking about?" Nate asked Blair.

Blair shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know. Something with him loving her and him wanting her back… And blah, blah, blah…"

"Blah, blah, bla? Is that going to make me feel better?"

Nate shook his head and sighed.

"I didn't know I had to make you feel better… Are you really worried about this? Are you jealous cause she's talking to Brooklyn boy in there?"

Blair hid a little smile.

"No.. Of course not…"

Nate tried to smile.

"You're such a bad liar"

"Nate, listen to me. I know Serena better than anyone. And there's no doubt in my heart, she loves you. Only you. And nothing is ever going to change that. It has always been you two; I think I've known it since I was six."

She smiled.

"It only took me a while to accept it"

Nate had to smile too then.

"And me some time to realize it… Thanks, Blair"

He gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Talked to Chuck lately?"

She gave him an irritated look and shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it"

"But you love him"

"Yes, I do love him. But it's complicated"

Nate hugged her again.

"You can try to make it simple."

She slowly nodded and turned around. Serena was entering the kitchen.

"How did it go?" Blair asked.

"I managed to hurt him even more than I already had" She sighed and went over to hug Nate.

"Good" Blair simply said and left the two blondes alone.

"I'm a horrible person"

Serena stated and rested her head on Nate's chest.

"No, you're not, Serena. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt him in any way. Things just happen and sometimes people make mistakes."

He kissed her forehead.

"I'm not perfect and you're not perfect. But I don't want you any other way. I want your flaws just as much as the rest. Because they define you. And I happen to love you…"

He stroke her back.

She kissed him and looked him in the eyes.

"I think that speech earned you a-not-so-family-friendly breakfast"