{Wine Red}

Chapter Twelve: Decisions

Looking back on it now, Max leaving must have been what triggered my own departure.

I had resigned from the job I had acquired. After defeating Leader Misty I checked job openings again and found a law firm that was looking for trainers with dark type pokemon to volunteer as 'experts' for a civility case. The pay was not too great in comparison of the previous job I held, which I found frustrating. At least working with the older figures would give me a little bit of insight and inspiration in years later on. At the time, my thoughts were more filled with Bay Fall, completing my payments with the hospital which had left me virtually broke, Max informing me over text that he was not going to be able to keep in good contact because of the strict regime he was under, and how I was beginning to feel stuck again.

One of the rare moments I was left alone in Cal and co's apartment I was grouped in a sort-of circle with Jay, Raguel, and Gabe. My attention was more toward Jay because I knew that he would be the one most at risk than any of the others present. Head propped up in my hand, I proposed an idea I inwardly pleaded he'd react negatively to. "Jay, I think we need to leave." The three creatures blinked their eyes at me, and then looked to one another. A dark membrane that I recognized as a protective maneuver against harsh light veiled the small crocodile's eyes for a moment as if he were blinking. "The reason I'm directing this to you is that travel right now is going to be the harshest on you. Based on what Cal has said, we're going to want to move east." I pursed my lips, feeling the chapped, dead skin and tugging at it for a moment with my teeth. It stung. "My concern is that while winter is leveling out right now, we still have a few months before the temperatures start rising again. South though, is not going to give us the experience we need. If we go east moving south, well, that's the journey that all the great trainers took, including the Champion." I exhaled, feeling a weight in my gut, "however, I am not sure how to make that journey with you without you freezing to death."

The sandile made a graveled whimper from the base of his throat, comprehending what my fear was. Raguel's {dark red eyes} were wide and he stood and pressed his flank to Jay's, curling around him and inhaling his scent. Gabe sniffed at the air, at the two of them, before trotting back over to me and nipping lightly at my hand.

"Ow, Gabe, why'd you do that?" It didn't really hurt, but I could see a little white skin puckered from being punctured. The fox surprised me by not snickering as he usually did when being disobedient, instead pawing at my knee, snagging a claw in the denim material for a moment, then leaping off to join the snuggled duo. For a moment I thought that he was going to curl up with them, but Raguel stood to his full height, eyes gleaming and he ran his long, rough tongue over Jay's head.

I stared at them, unsure of what message it was they were trying to give me. I exhaled, leaning back on my hands. "This would be so much easier if you guys could talk."

Raguel lumbered over to me and butted his large head into my collar bone. I staggered slightly from the force of the impact. "What - ?" The large cat looked back at Jay, then back to me. "Yeah, I know that's Jay. That's who I'm worried about." I knew there was more than identifying Jay in the message Raguel was trying to convey, but I was frustrated from our lack of coherent communication. The absol growled in his throat, almost sounding like a canine as it dissolved into a whine. He sat back on his haunches as Jay trotted over in front of me. "Raguel I know you're worried about him too – " the feline shook his head 'no' and I stared at him, incredulous. For one, I was not used to pokemon using humanistic movements like that and it caught me off guard. The second issue which I was finding difficult to believe was that what I felt was being insinuated was that he did not care about the outcome of his teammate. This was very uncharacteristic of the big cat. "What do you mean you are not worried?" Jay nodded his head, looking unperturbed by the matter and I groaned. "Oh, and you're not worried, either. Am I the only one that cares about your mortality, then?"

Gabe's sudden snickers were ignored when I heard from the door, "Your absol's trying to tell you that the sandile has no danger in his future."

I turned around, seeing the familiar short stature of Zoe, arms folded over her tank top, bare legs running up to the beginning of her thighs, and somehow, despite her petite form, filled up the entire space of the doorway.

I turned around to check with Raguel who seemed at ease with her summation, so I assumed her read to be accurate. Zoe trotted up from behind me, flipping her long silver braid around her shoulder.

"I thought absols only can sense great disasters, you know, like natural disasters," I muttered as I ran my fingers through the long fur on Raguel's head. I traced the outline of his skull, finding a path of bone that led to his long horn, supposedly something that worked like an antennae for sensing such things.

"Common misconception," Zoe quipped. "I'm not quite as seated in dark types as you are," she said as she addressed my team. "But I have a similar ease with them that you have." I thought of the sneasle she usually had at her side, of how she interacted with it, and found that I wasn't surprised. "When I was up in the mountains, that's where I met Cal. In Mt. Moon. He was on his second run through, me on my first, and we happened upon a ranger and this scientist – one who wanted to study a specific habitat. Anyways, they told us about a small family of absol that lived in the mountain. I got all worked up about it, they scared me at the time. Cal wasn't bothered, funny enough. Still, the two older men explained about the wild absol and all these misunderstandings about the creatures." She raised a careful hand and began stroking the back of Raguel, a soft expression fell on her face I hadn't seen before. "By nature they are actually friendly, though introverted. It has only been because of stigma toward dark types, absols in particular who wish to warn people of danger, that they have grown reclusive. They are only in recent years coming out of their label of an endangered species. Once upon a time they were witch hunted."

I knew this, but I clenched my fist protectively in Raguel's fur at the thought. "Right, they were almost all killed off. At one point they were extinct here in Kanto until the previous Champion created a re-introduction act to have them brought back into the ecosystem from Johto."

Zoe nodded, stern. "So to elaborate, absols don't just have premonitions about the earth, though that is always within their power to read. Their horns, their auras which are in tune with darkness can sense darkness. The larger the danger, the change, the darkness, the stronger they feel it. However, with those they are close to, they become able to pick up on danger based on choices made." Zoe tilted her head back, looking down her nose at me despite being shorter. "Essentially, Raguel here is trying to say that you're worried too much about Jay, and I agree. Just give him that jacket he always wears, stock up on thermal heating pads, the ones you can charge via solar energy, and make sure you have him stored in his ball if it drops below twenty."

I bowed my head, knocking it into Raguel's flank, feeling both relieved and nervous. A decision was made.

Zoe stood. "Honestly I agree with this choice, too. I recognize a person who has feet itching to leave when I see it; I get the same way. So do us all a favor and get your butt moving."

I turned my head, white fur obstructing vision in my right eye, as I look up at her leaving figure. "Thanks, Zoe." I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up reaching the Elite Four, maybe even defeating two of them.

The girl shook her head, dismissing it as No Problem as she made her way to the doorway, before pausing. She bit the inside of her cheek, and I could tell she was scrutinizing me.

"What?"

Zoe took a moment, releasing skin from between her teeth, a small smack sounded, "It's just, it has me wondering. That absol of yours, and you," my grip on Raguel was protective, "Claire told me about how you got him, and it sounds like he sought you out." She tilted her head to the other side, brows clenched. "That absol had no knowledge or connection to you, no idea of who you were, yet he sought you out." The silver-haired girl stood upright, and the nagging feeling in my stomach strengthened. "People who are going to die in the near future do not get absols following them around every time, and that's because there are worse things than death, that's for damn sure. So what in the world is it that that absol …" She trailed off, not daring to finish her sentence.

I refused to look at her, feeling her stand and then leave the room, and I listened to the sharp click of each heel snapping against the polished floor.

I almost began second-guessing my decision to leave.

{Wine Red}

"You're really going?"

I almost whipped around, rushed over to her, gripping her shoulders as gently as I could, and reassured her absolutely not.

Instead I froze, guessing that the packing of my bag, putting the few items in at a time, was not as subtle as I had hoped. "… Yes," I don't know why I felt so guilty, I shouldn't feel that way, except that her voice was so pleading and sad and I would not be seeing her for a time. The difference between leaving now and leaving when I originally left home is that we weren't all living in the same apartment.

Lydia seated herself on my bed, next to my large bag which I had been seated in front of. I don't know why but I was struck by the fact that she was wearing a dress and thick, grey tights and I was wishing the weather was about ten times warmer. "Zoe told me," I raised my gaze to hers, alarmed, and she quickly reassured me, "She, um, just told me, well, and Cal, made him promise to not tell," I could easily picture Zoe not only demanding that of the older boy, but using phrasing that Lydia is too nice to repeat.

Perhaps it was because I was intending to leave the next day, or maybe it was a pseudo-punishment for making me feel mild remorse for leaving, that I smirked and began treading toward unspoken waters, "Just told you, huh?"

I relished in the {copper red} that blazed through her freckles. I couldn't remember anyone else blushing that fast, or maybe I just never cared to notice. "Well … well … yes, well, not just me, Cal, too, as I said…"

"Hm," I widened my eyes as I propped my head up on my bag, the epitome of innocence. "That was nice of her to tell you, though I wasn't expecting me asking to have you go that red that fast."

Immediately her hands clapped to her cheeks, and I snickered and refrained from pointing out to her that if she really wanted to cover her blush, she should aim to conceal her forehead, nose, and neck as well. "You-you, well you keep insinuating, I mean, she just thought – why are you," her lip trembled and my smirk dropped in an instant.

"Aw, Lyds," too late, her nose was scrunching up and her eyes were crinkled and I had an arm around her pleading with her not to cry. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Her russet hair mussed as she gripped me back, folding into me and I had a flashback to when we were blasted through the glass and how I was holding her then.

"D-do you r-r-really need to go?" What she was doing was exactly what I had feared, so much for trying to distract her. "I know it's frustrating not living in our own apartment anymore since it was blown in, having to live with Zoe, Tabitha, Cal, and Hibiki, but they all mean well! A-and I thought you and Polen were getting along better now, I-I mean at least not arguing, you know, Lilly doesn't say anything but she really does appreciate it! Riru, too! You guys haven't been butting heads as much, and, and, and it's cold out there, and you know it's not good for Jay, and …" anything more she said was muffled into my shirt. I continued to rub her back, understanding what she was saying, for a lot of it was true.

Since Bay Fall Polen and I had a sort of truce in place. At least he was not antagonizing toward me anymore, not for the most part, only if I heard him make a comment about someone else that rubbed me the wrong way, I'd say something. Even when I'd comment, it wouldn't be as probing as it would have previously been. Riru before I had viewed as kind of annoying, stick-in-the-mud, and now I couldn't get her out of my mind as one of the more reliable people I know. Of course she did end up having my stay in the hospital longer than it would have been because of her attempt at surgery, but she helped me make the payments, and I was so struck by the fact that she had been so resilient that I wasn't as irritated by it as I would have been. I took her jabs more with a grain of salt, or maybe she felt more responsible than she let on about the infection I had almost developed.

"Lydia, Lydia," I shushed her gently. "It's not anything against anyone here, I just, it's best for me to leave. There's not really anyone here that I dislike," well I still possessed that nagging feeling that Polen was flat out not a good guy, but at the moment he was bearable, "it's not anything personal to anyone."

"Is it Max?" Lydia dared to look up and she was flushed differently than before, all of the brightness directed to her quivering nose, or bleeding into her bright, brown eyes. "You're … you're not thinking of enlisting are you?"

She barely finished the question before I snorted, "Hell no, I'm not. Can you imagine me, allowing some big shot general barking at me to do pushups just because I didn't make my bed right? I got enough of that back home to willingly sign up for it." She giggled through her sniffles and I took that as a positive sign. "It's not like this is goodbye goodbye, we're all headed for Vermillion City." I could see her about to tear up again, so I pressed, "Lyds, I am useless right now. No, no," she made a face to protest, "I am. I am the one with the lowest income, barely any; I'm bringing little food to the table, yet still eating an equivalent share to everyone who is properly employed. Plus this apartment was not meant for eight people."

Construction for the northern parts of Cerulean City was slow, and the areas that were currently inhabited possessed a broken feeling that made most feel unsafe. The north side was the cheap side, where those with less income or where Trainers staying temporarily would be inhabited. If it were summer this would be less of an issue, but it was very much winter, when most Trainers came to a halt, making a shift in their plans to become more rooted. The apartments available because of the influx of people caused the city to have significantly fewer options, and the options remaining were more expensive, and had left tensions high in the city. Politicians weren't really talking about it, but those who lived there, we knew.

The door creaked open and I tensed, thinking it was going to be another person going to question my decision, but it was Jasmine. My confusion on why the ralts appeared out of nowhere was short lived for she was whimpering and reaching up with small hands to Lydia. They had a psychic, empathetic bond to each other. Sniffling Lydia slowly wiggled out of my arms and scooped up the small creature and held her close. I felt uncomfortable, knowing my decision was the right thing, but here was Lydia all torn up about it.

"I'm sorry," her quiet voice sounded, "I'm being selfish right now, aren't I." My immediate inclination was to assure her she was perfect and could never have the capacity for it, but a worm of logic hissed she was keeping me from my goals. Right now she was making me feel weak.

I pulled away from her completely.

"I wouldn't say that, you just care, is all," I shrugged, taking a canteen and hooking it on the side of the bag.

"I …" she took a moment, trying to use her words carefully, "I want to offer to come, too, but I feel that would be a bad decision: for both of us."

I wanted to disagree with her for the sake of proving her wrong, that us being apart was not an idea to grow attached to, yet the truth of what her presence did to me lay heavy stronger than ever.

"Maybe."

The silence that followed bled and screamed in my ears, but as we sat parallel to one another, I dared not break it.

{Wine Red}

The midst of dinner seemed to be the best time to break the news.

Eight had turned into nine, as Riru was visiting, wedged into the crowded round table between Hibiki and Lydia. The older boy tossed his head to rid the lengthening bangs out of his eyes as he reached the rice bowl for Riru. The lavender-haired girl bowed her head with a slight smile on her face, and took the item gently from his grasp. I remember, partly because they were in my line of sight, without realizing it quietly scrutinizing them, watching their interactions with one another. I flocked through my memories of them in the recent month or so, how they were grouped together in my mind. I turned to Claire next to me, intending to whisper a question, but Zoe could see me treading into waters I shouldn't and smacked me with the ladle. The group laughed, save Lydia who gave me a sympathetic smile. I scowled at the petite girl as she situated herself between Hibiki and Cal, looking even smaller between the two broad-shouldered males. The lean toward boy-girl seating was purposely done to make easier room for those who took up more space attempting to not be right next to one another.

I remember that Tabitha was to my left, a girl with orange-hued hair that mostly kept to herself, since I kept leaning more toward Claire who made for better company. I would try to start conversations with her, but she seemed to only have eyes for her original flat mates. Cal did explain to me once reassuring that she did not hate anyone, simply absorbed in her college applications, putting together her portfolio, apparently some kind of computer whiz. Could have sworn one of the times I was trying to peak at her work though that she was on some random forum running some sort of role play. The only times I would really address her direction was when I was giving aid to pass some dish around or was talking over her to Adam who was situated on her other side.

Despite the livelihood of the meal it was not one of the more rambunctious ones we've experienced. In the past we tried to continue habits of eating with our pokemon, not used to having such a large group. It quickly became clear that we were overcrowded as the range of creatures would try and steal our food out from under us. The only pokemon joining us that night was Jasmine, who was refusing to leave Lydia's side. Adam commented on the unusual behavior, concerned, but Lydia brushed it off and I avoided her and Zoe's eye, having a distinct feeling that I was to blame.

I don't know why but it seemed to me that the best time to share my departure plans was as Cal requested for me to hand over the pot of miso soup to serve himself.

The older boy's eyes bugged out, but thankfully he maintained a firm grasp on the ceramic bowl. His quiet "What?" was drowned out by Claire protesting a much louder one directly in my ear.

I winced away from her, "Yeah, tomorrow morning actually since it's supposed to be sunny, melt some of the snow, seemed like a good time."

Claire gripped at her head, and cried incredulously, "Why didn't you warn any of us of your plans?"

"Not to mention it's dangerous to travel in January – I mean why not go south at least?" Riru questioned at a more reasonable volume. The only ones still eating were Zoe, Tabitha, and Adam, the rest had their eyes locked on me. Irritation was my mask for discomfort.

"Look, I don't need the twenty questions or trying to sway me, this is better for everyone!"

Claire raised a brow, "Are you kidding me?"

"Claire," Cal held out his hand in a gesture for the blonde girl to quiet. She obeyed but not without a scalding look. "Hey," he addressed me, "I think a matter to appreciate is that we are all taken aback by this." I slowly released the tension in my muscles as he spoke, always a voice of reason. "Your decisions are your own, but I'd think it'd be a common courtesy to at least let people who care about you know when you intend to depart beyond twenty-four hours ahead of time." He paused, before adding, "And you left us with less than that."

Choruses of 'yeah' and other forms of agreement sounded around the table. I felt like a child being scolded by a parent, in an unnervingly calm and reasonable way, at that.

"Fine, fine," I waved my hands trying to get them to get off my back. "You guys are right, I'm wrong, can we finish eating?" I hoped that by grabbing my own chopsticks and making a motion to eat the shrimp lo mein others would be inspired to do the same.

They were, but only after they collectively stared me down with looks of disapproval and Zoe snorted, "Arceus, you are such an ass."

{Wine Red}

I don't know why I had hoped for proper sleep that night.

Once Zoe and Claire were finished insulting me, the mood lightened a bit and the decision was made to make some impromptu cake for a send-off party. I pointed out that I really just wanted to pack, so Cal and Adam joined me to help coordinate my travels as well as make sure I was well equipped for the snow. Zoe would pop in every ten minutes or so from preparations, asking my preferences for card games and cake flavorings, then providing her two cents about surviving in the wild.

"Remember, if you don't make it to the Rock Tunnel by sundown, I know that along Route 10 there's still fallen trees that haven't been moved because of the weather. Those provide a ready-made framework for shelter, look for evergreens cause they have down swept branches that –"

"Yes, yes, Zoe, I know you're trying to be helpful, but I was just explaining about the local wildlife, which ones are preferred for food." Cal said good naturedly, though I could sense a tired edge to his voice.

"Oh well in that case," she popped her hip to the side, not budging from the doorway. For once it wasn't me that was having impatience but Adam and Cal. Any I may have possessed was relieved from duty thanks to the fascination I held for observing Zoe for the first time exhibiting excitement for something. "I recommend avoiding any of the birds that live along there, all nasty buzzards. No what you want to look for are linoones, bidoofs, or raticate – though those raticate are nasty –"

"Zoe," Cal pronounced each syllable firmly, "Thank you, but we have it handled."

The light expression in her face disappeared as if it never existed, and with a look of disdain spun on her foot, long braid snapping against the woodwork, and she stormed off.

"… I didn't really mind," I offered hesitantly.

"Oh no, it's not the help that's an issue," Cal admitted wearily. No longer was he holding a permanent marker, helping to find a proper route on the paper map, but massaging his temple. "Zoe has a similar tendency that you do to just take off, except thinking even less straight than you," Adam snickered at that, "She's holding down a job for the first time in a while and it's a good one. She's under contract to stay with them until March, and if she were to go now, well," Cal exhaled, "this wouldn't be the first time she's had to pay bail for jail time."

My eyes widened at that declaration, both Adam and I looked to one another in shock, then back to the doorway from which she had left.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I put in a notice for leave a week ago," Adam breathed. I blinked at my raven haired friend, registering what he was possibly insinuating, "Living in a cage and me, that don't go together, honey."

"Adam, you don't mean to tell me –"

"Please," he rolled his bright blue eyes, "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

I felt an incredible warmth wash over me and accumulate in the center of my abdomen. I think that was the first time that the degree of Adam's loyalty really resonated with me; at least I got a peak at it. Later on I would truly grasp the depths to the warmth of his person, but again, that would be later. In that moment I inwardly noted that it really was no surprise that a person like him ended up with a growlithe for a Partner.

"I suppose your fire breathing puppy could be of some help," I shrugged as if I didn't really care that he would be joining me. I'm sure the grin plastered on my face gave me away.

"Adam, are you serious? This one," Cal reached over and ruffled my hair, making me think that I should probably shower tomorrow morning as it will probably be the last time I'm able to for a while. "Has been making plans for, well not a while, but it's not spur-of-the-moment either."

Adam huffed, "Cal do you take me for an idiot? I just said I put in my resignation, I've had a feeling he'd be leaving some time soon, sharing a room with the guy, you tend to see things disappear. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together when you see his traveling pack growing thicker." He stood, moving over to the closet shared between the two of us, moving the sliding door to the left side where he kept all of his belongings. It was wide enough that I wouldn't need to slide it open all the way to get into my things, so I wasn't too shocked when he revealed his own backpack filled to the brim."

I raised a brow, "Are all of your things in there?" Though I was really wondering how in the world he was able to cloth himself every day when he was this packed.

"Psh, no," he waved me off before dragging the heavy luggage out, "Lilly is being a dear and holding all of my good clothes, she understands the importance of having nice clothes, and maintaining them. I'm not taking any nice clothes into caves, mm'kay?" Cal and I shook our heads, smirking at him. No one could give sass like Adam could.

"Alright then," Cal got to his feet, standing above me, and towering slightly over Adam, "In that case, we should probably let everyone else know."

He left the room and Adam and I were left alone.

"You're really coming, huh?"

"Eh," he gave me a toothy smile, "You may be surprised to see where I'd accompany you."

{Wine Red}

The morning was bitter cold and sunny all at once. The majority of the group was adorned in protective sunglasses to keep away harsh light. Adam and I were clothed to the brim, a little warmer and snugger than necessary, but the thickness of our outerwear was easier to carry when worn instead of packed away. They took up a great amount of space. On our backs our backpacks were the thickest they'd ever been, our sleeping bags tightly buckled to the tops of our bags. Hero and Raguel trotted by our feet, both wearing protective booties and vests to keep warm. I could tell that they both felt uncomfortable and a little overheated, but we wanted them to get used to wearing them. Gabe and Jay had fewer issues with theirs, as Gabe didn't particularly care and took delight at the attention he received from walking awkwardly with the cloth on his paws, and Jay was simply used to the attire. Adam had offered to carry Jay for me since Gabe was being a brat and wanted to monopolize all carrying privileges I could offer.

A few people gave us double takes as we approached the gates to exit toward Route 9. It was not as if they were unused to seeing a group of friends see off people before they go into the wilderness. In fact it was quite a common sight. However, these farewells usually took place in warmer weather; seldom did people go out into the snow. One older woman with large, thick glasses warned us about the dangers of frostbite and keeping warm, but aside from that people kept to themselves. It was cold and it was none of their business.

I wanted to just leave, get out, and start while the sun was high, but the collective group was insistent on seeing us off. The argument was that chances were they weren't going to see either one of us for two to three months at least, so they wanted their proper goodbyes. It was a nice sentiment and I did not appreciate it as much as I should have at the time.

I stood with gloved hands shoved in my pockets, waiting as each person took the time to provide Adam and I with hugs of farewell. Zoe and Cal gave us last pieces of advice for survival, and with a groan I recited back the different wood types that made for good pieces to burn. Riru with Hibiki wrapping a hand around her waist gave me a quick lecture that I was not to up and leave Adam at any point and I promised with an edge to my voice. She knew I meant no harm and trusted I would keep to it, for she gave me a quick, tight hug for support. Lilly sniffled, going on about how she didn't understand why I was leaving, Polen and Maikel stood on either side of her, obviously feeling out of place. If it weren't for Lilly, they most likely would not have been present. I guess it was a nice sentiment in and of itself. Tabitha surprised Adam and I with a collective hug, and she said something that I remember at the time had our jaws dropping and the group laughing in surprise, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you what she said now.

Claire and Lydia were the last to say bye, Claire ran up to me while Lydia was giving Adam a gentle, teary smile, and the blonde embraced me tightly. I clapped my hands around her back, welcoming the feel of her, the attention, the care that she had just for me. Then I opened my eyes and Lydia was backing away from Adam and I released my hold on Claire, smiling and looking to Lydia expectantly. The russet haired girl sniffled loudly and coughed, the dry air getting caught in her throat. With closed eyes and coughing she still found her way into my arms and I held her there for a private moment.

There wouldn't be many more times after this that we would all be together like that.

At least not many where we're still all comrades.

I wonder if I had known that at the time if I would have been as much of a hurry to get away from them.

{Wine Red}

a/n: guys, guys, guys. Oh my gosh this took way longer than intended to update. Like, during break I was hoping to maybe update once a week, but nope. Didn't happen. I hit a mega writer's block, but don't worry I'm all set now. However, as this college semester is going to be a lot thicker with the amount of time taken up than the previous one, I may not always make the Monday deadline (as is what happened with this week). Oh well, I'll still aim for the every other week updating schedule. Hope you all liked this chapter, and see you in February!