Past Belle comes to terms with the realization that she might not know Rumple as well as she'd thought. Meanwhile the Present Rumple and Belle have a long overdue conversation.


Time had lost all meaning. Belle felt weightless, like she was floating on a cloud, strange images invading her mind but never staying long enough to make an impression. She vaguely thought she heard Rumplestiltskin's voice, but that was impossible. He had left. It could have been days or years before, but she knew he hadn't returned.

She felt as though she were lost, trapped somewhere between awaking and dreaming, but she was just so comfortable she couldn't be bothered to enter one state or the other. She was happy here, warm and content. Awake was bad. Awake was harsh. If she woke up, she'd have to face the swirling images that she didn't want to see.

So she continued floating.

She gradually became aware of something tugging at her. She tried to shake it off, but it was persistent. Something had hold of her shoulder and wouldn't let go.

"Sweetheart, please," she heard a rough voice. "Wake up, darling."

Belle opened her eyes just a smidge before slamming them shut again. She didn't want to be awake. She drifted off on her cloud, becoming weightless once more. There was nothing that could hurt her in dreams. Dreams were safe.

Minutes or decades late, she awoke to warm sunlight falling across her face, and opened her eyes cautiously. As the room came into view, she was startled to realize she was in Rumple's bed. She couldn't remember falling asleep here. In fact, the last thing she remembered was sitting in her library, consumed with worry about what was keeping the sorcerer away. Had she been so lonesome for Rumple that she put herself to sleep in his room?

She blinked, trying to clear her thoughts. From the position of the sun outside the open window, it was midday, but sitting up seemed like a Herculean effort. How long had she been asleep?

With some difficulty, she rolled her head to the side to be met with a most unusual sight. Rumplestiltskin was asleep in the chair next to the bed, his head bent forward at an uncomfortable angle, his chin resting against his chest. Until this point, Belle wasn't even sure if he actually slept.

He looked awful. His hair was dry and brittle, sticking out at odd angles. Even in sleep his face looked strained, and impossibly, he seemed even thinner than the last time she'd seen him. Whatever deal had kept him away so long must have worn him out. That still didn't explain why she was in his bed, though.

She attempted to sit up, but her head throbbed and she fell back against the pillows with a weak grunt.

"Belle!" Rumple startled awake, popping up from the chair and sitting on the edge of the bed. "Sweetheart, are you alright?"

"What happened?" she managed to rasp out. Her throat felt dry, her voice hoarse from disuse. "Why am I here?"

"You've been asleep for over a week, darling," he replied, trailing his fingertips over her head and neck as the shiver of magic ran through her. "You suffered a concussion, a shattered cheekbone, some other bumps and bruises, but you're fine now. My magic kept you sedated so you could heal."

A concussion? Suddenly Belle's mind was flooded with images. There was blood, screaming, the clerics being ripped apart by Rumple's magic. And finally, Gaston. Poor, simple Gaston, his unblinking eyes staring at her from his pale face, his neck turned at an unnatural angle.

"You killed them!" she gasped, backing away from Rumplestiltskin as best she could. Along with the images of the carnage in the entry hall, returned the feelings of fear that had shot through her at the sight of her imp, the cause of so much death and destruction.

"Sweetheart, please lay still," he pleaded, his hands hovering around her but not quite touching. "You've been through an ordeal and my magic can only do so much."

"The baby!" Belle exclaimed. Looking down she was relieved to see her swollen stomach beneath her nightgown.

"She's fine," Rumple assured her. "She's very upset about her mama being batted about, but she's fine. She's a fighter, Belle."

The relief she felt at his words lasted only a moment before her mind was once again consumed by those awful images. She shuddered, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

"You murdered them," she managed to rasp out. "You killed them all."

"I had to, sweetheart," he said placatingly. But Belle refused to believe that was true.

"You didn't have to do anything," she cried. "You became another person. It was like you enjoyed it!"

Rumple's face immediately closed off, going from doting father-to-be to imperious Dark One in a matter of seconds.

"I did what was necessary," he said in a low voice.

"Necessary?" Belle gasped, managing to push herself all the way up and lean against the headboard. "You were brutal! You didn't even give them a chance."

"They would have killed our daughter, Belle," he growled. "They would have tortured you, murdered our child, taken you against your will. I could not let that stand!"

Belle just shook her head. "You have so much magic at your disposal. You're telling me you couldn't have banished them? Turned them into birds and made them fly away? You couldn't have spared their lives and protected me at the same time?"

"They deserved to die!" he cried, standing and strutting about the room. "They broke into my home, they hurt the mother of my child. No one takes from the Dark One, dearie."

Belle looked at him, stunned. He hadn't called her that in months, but beyond that it was what he had said right before he'd murdered Gaston.

"Gaston was my friend," she said tremulously. "You had him subdued but you still killed him in cold blood."

"Ah, yes, your precious fiancé," he said with a mocking flourish. "Your knight in shining armor come to rescue you from the beast."

Belle felt nauseous. Was he actually jealous of a man he'd just murdered?

"I never loved Gaston," she said quietly. She'd only ever loved one man, the frightening one standing before her right now. "It was an arranged marriage. But I'd known him my whole life. He was my friend."

"A friend who would have split you open and carved your baby out of your stomach," Rumple snarled.

"I can't believe that," she said, shaking her head again. "He was mistaken, but he wouldn't have done something so barbaric."

"Then you're a fool," Rumple replied quietly, his anger cooling to a simmer. "You're bound to the Dark One, dear. You have no friends anymore."

"I can't condone murder, Rumplestiltskin."

"Then it appears we've reached an impasse," he said, folding his anxious hands in front of him. "I won't apologize for protecting what is mine."

Belle felt nauseous, her head ached and her entire body felt heavy and sluggish. She wanted nothing more than to be left alone to wallow in her misery. But part of her remembered how she'd felt in that week without Rumple, how much she'd missed him. Now he was here and she wanted nothing more than for him to leave. How could everything have turned on it's ear so quickly?

"You should get some rest. Call on me, if you need anything," he said half-heartedly. And then her turned and left the room.

Once he was gone, Belle let the tears fall. She'd never felt more confused or conflicted in her life. She knew, rationally, that Rumplestiltskin was the Dark One. She knew his reputation, that he was capable of terrible things. She'd even seen him torture Robin Hood first hand. But since then he'd become her friend, and then more. And these past few months he'd been so wonderful. How could she reconcile the man who brought her pineapples, whose face lit up whenever he felt their child kick, who touched her so reverently as though he couldn't believe he was allowed the privilege, and always worried about her being cold with the man who could snap Gaston's neck with a twitch of his fingers?

She knew Rumple would never hurt her or their daughter if he was in his right mind. But the man she'd seen take on the clerics hadn't been in his right mind. He was bloodthirsty and crazed, the magic that coursed through his veins consuming him and taking over. It frightened her in ways she didn't wish to fully examine at the moment.

And that's when the thought took her. A seed planted at the back of her mind and left to grow over the intervening days. Perhaps Regina had been right, that his power was derived from a curse. She was hesitant to believe anything that came from the Queen's mouth, especially after Gaston's admission that she'd been the impetus behind his attempted "rescue". But if Rumple really was cursed, it could be within her power to save him.

She wasn't sure if it would work. She couldn't remember kissing Rumple, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened. But what did she have to lose? If she kissed him and the curse held, it would mean they weren't true love or else that Regina had lied. If it did work, he would be free. The darkness would be chased away. They could be together, raise their daughter as a family, free from the shadow his being the Dark One cast. Above all, she wouldn't have to worry for herself and her child. She would no longer fear his volatile moods, the fact that he could do so much harm with hardly a thought.

Belle leaned back against the pillows, coming to her decision.

He had saved her from the clerics. It was her turn to save him from himself.


Present Day...

Try as he might, Rumplestiltskin couldn't fall asleep. Belle had dragged him away from his cellar, done an admirable job of attempting to wear him out and then fallen asleep curled against his side. Despite his body's exhaustion, comfortable and sated and with his very gorgeous and very naked wife beside him, Rumple's guilty conscience wouldn't allow him the comfort of sleep.

It would be so easy to feed Belle yet another lie. To let her think he'd done nothing wrong, that he was blameless in their new history. But the idea of deceiving her so completely ate at him. He'd never have another moments rest, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. He couldn't live his life that way. Belle may not forgive him for what he'd done, but if he hid the truth from her and she found out anyway she'd never want to see him again.

He had to tell her the truth.

As soon as he thought the words, the knot of worry he'd carried around in his stomach for the past few days seemed to lessen. They would deal with their pasts together, they would heal together. Just because their relationship had been somewhat strained in this timeline didn't mean it had to stay that way. Now they had two timelines worth of experiences together, and adversity had only ever made their love stronger. For the first time in days, Rumplestiltskin felt something like optimism.

Beside him, Belle whined in her sleep, rolling away from him and tossing away the blankets.

"No," she moaned, burying her face against her pillow, a low keening noise coming from her throat.

"Belle," he said, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. "Sweetheart it's just a dream."

"No," she said again, this time louder and more firmly. "Please, no!"

"Belle," he grabbed her, rolling her onto her back and shaking her firmly. "Wake up, darling."

Belle's eyes snapped open suddenly, then immediately filled with tears.

"Rumple?" she gasped.

"I'm here, sweetheart. It was just a nightmare."

She sat up, latching her arms around his neck as she sobbed against his chest.

Rumple rubbed her back soothingly, letting her cry. Neither he nor Belle were strangers to nightmares. After her time in the asylum she had frequently awoken in the dead of night, shuddering and crying. She'd gone through so much in her short life, all because of him.

"It was awful," Belle said at long last, pulling back and resting her head against his shoulder. "I was holding Rowan, but she was a baby. She was just a tiny little thing, barely more than a newborn. She was so, so beautiful, Rumple. And then something was taking her away from me. I clawed and screamed and fought, but I couldn't get her back. Someone pulled her out of my arms and I was helpless. I couldn't do anything to get her back!"

Belle gasped, the tears streaming down her cheeks once more.

"It felt so real, Rumple," she continued. "Do you think it was a memory? Did Regina take her away from me?"

His hand froze against her back, his body immediately tensing at her question. He'd wondered if the timeline would catch up to them eventually, if the memories would find them. It seemed the process had begun. His good intentions were for nothing if Belle would remember anyway.

"Perhaps," he whispered against her hair, the cowardly part of him wishing she would abandon her questions and go back to sleep. But he knew his wife too well for that.

"If Regina took Rowan from me, then how did she wind up with you during the curse?" she asked, sitting up and looking at him. "Why would Regina let you have her?"

Rumplestiltskin could swear he felt his heart stutter to a stop. Not now, please not now. He wasn't ready to lose her.

"Rumple," she said, her voice taking on a slightly pleading tone.

"A burst of altruism on her part?" he said with a shrug, but he knew Belle didn't buy it. He was sure the answer to her question was written all over his face. She knew, oh gods she knew. "You…you remember don't you?"

He couldn't look at her, couldn't see the disappointment in her eyes, so he stared down at the cream colored sheet covering his lap instead.

"Answer me!" she yelled.

"Belle," he pleaded, his eyes finally snapping up to her face. "Please, don't…Regina didn't..." he trailed off, staring at a place in the middle of her forehead so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye. "Don't make me say it."

"Oh gods," she gasped, covering her mouth with one trembling hand. "It was you. It wasn't Regina at all. You took her from me."

"Sweetheart –"

"Didn't you!" she demanded

"Yes," he whispered roughly, the tears pooling in his own eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to lose you again," he said, reaching for her. But Belle pulled away, standing from the bed and pulling her robe on hastily.

"So you lied."

"I didn't lie," he started, regretting his words almost immediately.

"You lied by omission, Rumple," she cried. "You let me go on for days in the dark when I could have had my memories, I could have had my life with my daughter!"

"I was trying to spare you," he said, pleading with her to understand. "The things I remember, Belle, they aren't pleasant."

"You were trying to spare yourself," she countered. "You knew what you had done and you didn't want me to find out!"

"Can you blame me? I come back to this new timeline to find I'm an even worse monster than I was in the original! That I threw you out, separated a mother from her child, I was cruel to you! You missed the first three years of our daughter's life because of me!"

"Mommy!" came a little voice from just outside their door. "Are you guys wrestling again?"

"No," Belle answered firmly. "We most definitely are not."

"Are you guys fighting?"

Belle dropped her head into her hands with a shuddering breath.

"Papa?" came Rowan's voice through the door again, this time accompanied by the rattling of the doorknob, which they'd finally learned to lock.

"I'll go put her back to bed," Rumple said, pulling on a pair of pajama pants.

"No!" Belle exclaimed, her eyes suddenly fearful. "No. I don't want you going anywhere near my daughter right now. I'll do it."

He felt her words like a knife through his chest, stealing the breath from his lungs and splitting his heart in two. It was nothing more than he deserved. He sat back on the bed as he watched Belle hurry out of the room to tuck Rowan back in. It was already happening. Belle would leave, she would take Rowan with her, and he would be alone. He tried to numb himself to it. He was used to being alone, after all. But no matter how hard he tried, it felt as though his entire being was collapsing in on itself. Soon he would be nothing more than a pile of dust.

Belle returned a few minutes later, shutting door behind her. Well, at least she hadn't left yet.

"Soundproof the room."

"What?" he asked, confused. "Why?"

"Because I'm going to call you some absolutely terrible things and I don't want our daughter to hear it."

Well, at least Rowan was back to being "ours" instead of "hers". He waved his hand, the walls glimmering for a moment as the magic pulsed through them.

"You goddamn fucking asshole!" Belle yelled as soon as the enchantment had finished. "You lying bastard!"

Rumple flinched against the onslaught of her anger. He'd never actually heard Belle swear like that before. He'd never seen her this livid.

"Why?" Belle asked angrily. "Why didn't you tell me you remembered?"

"I already told you –"

"The truth, Rumplestiltskin," she demanded.

"I didn't want you to look at me the way you are now," he said honestly. "I didn't want lose your trust and your love."

Belle threw her hands up in exasperation, pacing along the foot of the bed.

"I'm angry," she said needlessly. "I'm livid. I've never been more upset with you. But for gods' sake, Rumple, don't you know me better than that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I will always love you," she cried. "You're a bastard and you make terrible choices and I can generally count on you to do the selfish thing, but that's not all there is to you. And whatever happened in our pasts, that's not the man you are anymore. That's not even the man you were then in our real timeline. Obviously my counterpart in this timeline forgave you, so why would you think that I wouldn't? I'm far more angry at you keeping secrets from me than I could be about anything you did in a past we didn't even live!"

"It was still me, Belle," he countered. "The man we spent last week with, the one who was rude and awful, that's still me. I was capable of the things he did. He valued magic and power over the mother of his own child! I didn't want you to have to remember that, to know that you were bound to a monster."

"And you just made that decision for me," she said, shaking her head. "You didn't even think to give me the opportunity to choose whether I wanted those memories or not."

Rumple sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

"I was going to tell you," he said uselessly. "I'd made the decision to do it, not that I can convince you of that now. It's been eating me up inside, Belle. To know that I could be that cruel, that callous to you, as much as you might hate me when you get your memories back in full it will be nothing to how much I hate myself."

Belle stared at him for a long moment, the anger seeming to seep out of her a bit leaving nothing but sadness.

"Why?" she asked. "Why did he – you – do it? I don't remember so I need you to tell me, please."

"I can do one better than that," Rumplestiltskin said miserably as the dream catcher from his shop materialized in his hand. "I can show you."


In the next chapter, we finally see what happened between Rumple and Belle in the past and Belle's reaction in the present.