"Alright... why are we hiding in the caves again?" Yang asked Blake that pushed everyone and all equipment they could inside the hideout.
"They're the White Fang." Blake said and they waited her to continue for a while.
"And that is?" Pyrrha added.
"Ugh… There's something I need to tell you all." Blake said and removed her helmet, revealing the cat ears on top of her head. Then she felt Ruby and Nora's hands petting her.
"OH MY GOSH THEY'RE REAL REN! I WANT CAT EARS TOO! OR MAYBE BEAR EARS! OR PANCAKES!" Nora yelled happily.
"Aww… I want wolf ears! And a tail! Because wolves are cool!" Ruby said before Blake slapped their hands out of her head.
"How… How you even got those?!" Weiss asked in surprise.
"Well… the UNSC wanted better soldiers, so they created a project called the Faunus project, where they would splice human and animal DNA to get better soldiers. They expected to give us an edge in battle. And while we did develop things like night vision and enhanced hearing, they kinda forget we could have those with our helmets." Blake explained.
"Wait, we have night vision on our helmets?!" Yang asked in surprised and her visor flicked. "We do! Awesome!"
"Oh, that means we never really needed that night lamp, right Ruby?" Weiss teased her leader.
"It's a tactical light and its staying!" Ruby shouted back.
"So that's just it? I expected you to have like… the strength of a bear or the speed of a puma." Ren wondered.
"Apparently they could do it, but there were some unintended side effects." Blake said.
Years ago…
"YES! We did it! We created real catgirls!" A scientist said as he hugged a body pillow with an anime girl drawn on it. "And bunny girls! And dog girls! And…"
"But… uh… sir… I think such little change won't give them an edge on battle. If we use more animal DNA…"
"No way! More animal DNA would make them less human-like, and I'm no furry!"
"So the project was deemed unsuccessful and closed down, but they had no idea what to do with the ones they created. So they dumped us all in a planet called Menagerie and decided to pretend we never existed. The planet was very hostile, so one day when a survey ship came we took it and escaped. The plan was to reveal the UNSC secrets and be reintegrated into human society, but…"
"Let me guess, they decided to 'fix' the mistake instead." Pyrrha said and Blake nodded.
"So they sent ships and troops to get rid of us, and every time we'd win and take a better ship and equipment. Our leaders at first wanted to just find a planet and settle down, but some of us wanted revenge. And the ones wanted revenge took command and we became the White Fang, attacking USNC outposts trying to make them recognize our existence and pay for their arrogance." Blake finished her story.
"So those guys want to kill us to send a message?" Weiss asked and Blake nodded. "And how exactly you ended up with us?"
"One day we attacked a transport colony ship to steal food. My… partner at the time, Adam… He decided he would explode the ship with everyone inside. Civilians, people who had nothing to do with our situation. I couldn't do it, so I called the USNC beforehand and they stopped our assault on time. I hid between the colonists, received new documents since the Fang destroyed the ships registers and ended up enlisting."
"How no one realized you have cat ears!?" Weiss asked in shock.
"I did this…" Blake put a little black bow on her head, hiding her ears.
"Yeah, that's it, the USNC is filled with idiots." Jaune said. "So, do we just hid here until they go away?"
"Wait! Are we really going to accept her history on how she ended up here?! By all we know she might be a spy for them! She can kill us in our sleep!" Weiss shrieked.
"Well, she had plenty of opportunities to do so already. And she could have just said nothing and let the Fang kill us." Ruby added.
"That's the most… sensible thing you ever said, actually. Blake, do you promise me you aren't with them anymore?"
"I do, Weiss."
"Good. So we just hide here until they're gone?" Weiss asked and Jaune groaned a little.
"With lucky they'll assume we just abandoned the bases and will go away." Blake said.
"Well, they better not mess up with my room! I couldn't take all my important things like my emergency pancake stash, my teddy, my secret pics of Jaune-Jaune and my favorite underwear!" Nora lamented.
"Wait… what secret pictures?!" Jaune asked and was promptly ignored.
"Oh no…" Blake gasped in fear.
"Blake, that wasn't a good 'oh no'. That was a very bad and ominous 'oh no'. Please tell me I'm wrong!" Ruby pleaded.
"Sir, we found this." A tall soldier with a brute shot gave a notebook to a shorter one with black armor and a white and red helmet.
"Blake… So here is where she was hiding… I want every mean to search everywhere! If she's here I want her! Leave no stone unturned!"
"Yes Adam!" The tall man flipped a huge rock.
"That's a figure of speech!"
"You forgot your diary? Why you even have a paper one!" Weiss yelled.
"I don't trust machines, OK? There's things like computer viruses, hackers, Nora!"
"And you think a paper notebook would be safer from Nora than the hard drive on your armor?!"
"I… ok, hindsight is a bitch." Blake admitted.
"So, how many of those terrorists we are talking about? I mean, you guys where an experiment, so like a dozen? Two dozens?" Jaune asked nervously.
"A dozen…" Blake started.
"Hey, that's not so bad."
"… thousand." Long silence.
"A dozen thousand?" Pyrrha asked to make sure.
"Yes." Blake reaffirmed.
"WHY THERE'S SO MANY?!" Jaune yelled.
Years ago…
"Bunny girls!"
"Cat girls!"
"Bunny girls!"
"Cat girls!"
"Cat girls!"
"Bunny… you almost got me there! But I watched Bugs Bunny too! Look, we have all this budget laying around, we can have all the cute animal girls we want."
"Awwwwwwwww yeaaaaahhhhhh!"
"I don't know, OK! All I know is that ship is filled with angry Faunus that won't like to find me… or any of you."
"Do this includes androids?" Penny asked.
"You're UNSC property, so yes." Blake added.
"Hey, we can use the awesome alien weapons to defend ourselves!" Nora suggested.
"But they don't work!" Jaune added.
[Actually, they do work. You just need to use the key to activate them in the proper altar.]
"Wait, what key?"
[The key that can only be held by a true warrior. One of them is hidden in another vault. The altar is located in this cave.]
"Sounds like a plan. We find this key, get use of the awesome alien weapons and defeat the terrorist! Where's the other vault, Glynda?" Ruby asked the AI.
[On the other side of this boxed canyon.]
…
…
…
…
"On the bright side we can all die together." Yang finally talked.
"No one's dying! I have a plan!" Ruby declared and they stared at Blake.
"Somehow, I prefer Yang's idea better."
"Sir, we turned every stone on sight and no sign of the girl!" The lieutenant informed Adam, that groaned in annoyance.
"Look, all I want is for you to comb this place!"
"Understood sir! I'll get the biggest comb on the ship!"
"What?! No! All I want for you is… do you hear music?" Adam asked and then a warthog came from the waterfall and Ruby, Weiss and Blake were riding on it, running over a few White Fang grunts and stopping before a shocked Adam.
"Hey Adam. I was waiting to say this to you for a long time… It's over, I don't love you anymore and you're a possessive asshole and awful boyfriend. Oh, and a lousy kisser." Blake said and then they left.
"How dare she!" Adam growled.
"Don't worry sir, I'm sure you're a good kisser!"
"After her you idiots!"
"I can't believe this is working…" Jaune whispered as they came from the waterfall in the spec-ops ATVs as all White fang was after the warthog.
"We better go on while they're too busy hunting Blake to notice us." Ren added.
"Yeah! I want to try the alien guns!" Nora said as she jumped on her seat.
"OK, OK. Hold tight Pyrrha." Jaune asked his partner and she did just that.
"With pleasure."
"What?"
"Nothing." She sang a little.
"So, Penny, is up to you and me to protect our own arse-nal." Yang joked with the android.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand why you put emphasis on the 'arse' syllables of arsenal."
"It was a pun. Protecting both our 'arses' and our arsenal?"
"Oh, I see… you tried to use a word play with a colloquial world for butt and arsenal. It wasn't funny."
"What do you know, you're just a robot."
"I actually have a very sophisticated humor program. You're just not funny."
"And you can do better?"
"Yes, just don't feel like it."
"Come on, crack a joke!"
"I won't cave in your demands."
"Oh come… wait… we're in a cave and you won't cave in… pffftt. Hahahaha!"
"This will be a long wait…"
