Here's chpt 12. Don't shoot me!
I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.
Chapter 12
I squeezed my eyes tighter in a vain attempt at blocking out the sunlight. Black spots appear behind my eyelids and I take a chance at peeling one eye open. My vision is blurred from sleep and the glare of the bright light, but I can make out the fuzzy image of a person sitting on the over-stuffed chair diagonally from me. "Are you sleeping on the couch because you're in the doghouse or because you were too drunk to make it upstairs?" The tenor of Jay's voice rattled in my head as if I had a hangover, but I hadn't drunk a drop of alcohol last night.
I sat up and scooted to the edge of the couch with my palms pressed to my forehead, elbows on my knees. I had no idea what time it was, but the house was quiet, too quiet. "I guess it doesn't really matter why you're on the couch, does it?" I looked up at Jay and cocked my head, only to have him grin at me like an evil genius. "She's gonna ream your ass either way and better you than me."
"Thanks," I mumbled.
"Hey," Jay leaned forward and his eyes lit up. "I've been meaning to ask you…" he paused and looked around the room like he was afraid someone might be listening before turning back to me. "What happened in that cabin with Clary? Tell me you got a piece because," he sighed and threw his head back. "That chick is grade A, if you know what I mean." I scowled and shook my head. I had no fucking idea what he meant, nor did I care. What was with the men in this family?
"I didn't get a piece of anything. If you remember correctly, I'm marrying your sister in a few weeks," I said. Jay looked at me like I had just escaped from the nut house.
"Every man takes a ride on a different train before he hitches himself to the ol' ball and chain. Dad did."
"I'm not your dad," I huffed. I needed to figure out how I was going to handle my situation. I had no intention of actually going through with this wedding after last night. I finally got Clary's admission that there was more going on between us. I wanted to know what it was, spend more time with her, get to know her. I knew what I had to do, but I had to do it right. I heard Kaelie's voice chime behind me and I straightened, waiting for the shit storm to begin. Her heels clacked on the wood floor as she neared me and I counted the seconds before…
"Jace," her voice was softer than I'd expected and I didn't know how to counter that. I was ready to have my sword drawn and defense up. "Why'd you sleep on the couch, Baby?" I stood and gave her a close lipped smile.
Taking her cheeks between my hands, I kissed her forehead and murmured, "I got in late after a few drinks with Alec and I didn't want to wake you, Lee-Lee." She smiled and pressed her hand to my chest.
"Awe, aren't you sweet." She dropped her voice and tilted her head back as she pressed her body closer to mine. "But I wouldn't have been mad if you had." I forced a smile and pecked her cheek before side stepping her.
"I'm gonna hit the shower."
"Good idea," Kaelie nods. "You smell awful, like horse or something." I pull my lips inside my mouth and crease my brow. If she only knew how right she was. I took the stairs two at a time just to get out of the room and hauled ass into Kaelie's bedroom. I locked the door and ruffled through my clothes until I found a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I stalled as long as I could because I really didn't want to take a shower. If I did that, it would wash away whatever was left of last night, and I didn't want to wash last night away. I wanted to hold onto it like it was the only life preserver I had while floating aimlessly in a raging sea.
I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, eyes closed, remembering every single, tiny detail. Clary's hair smelled like strawberries and felt like silk beneath my fingers. Her skin had a hint of vanilla and tasted like sugar. Freckles dusted her entire body giving her light skin a slight hint of peach. I fell back onto the bed with a sigh as my memory delved even deeper, not just into the night itself, but her. No girl I'd ever been with felt as good as she did. I'd never wanted to bury myself as deep in anyone as I did her. She was warm, wet and wanting as her soft breath puffed heat over my neck and shoulder.
My skin prickled with goose bumps just thinking about it and what happened afterward was even better. Clary had pulled me close and wrapped her arms around me. I could feel her legs tremble around my waist, proof of the thunderous high we'd both experienced. "I'm glad you're here," she'd whispered. I pulled my head from her shoulder and caught the shimmer of the tear rolling down her cheek. I caught it with a kiss. "But you have to go," she croaked. "And I don't want you to." I pushed up on my elbows and let my nose graze hers.
"Shhh," I cooed. "Don't cry." It was even painful to me when I realized that I'd have to leave her. Her chest shuddered beneath me as she sucked in a breath of air. I wanted to take away all the pain she had; pain for the loss of her father, her brother and me. In a way, she'd lost us all and I wanted somehow to give it all back to her. I brush her hair from her face and looked into her sparkling green eyes. I have nothing to say, nothing that will make things better for her because I do have to leave. Her father is never coming back, and her brother will never be the same person he used to be. I do the only thing I can think of, I kiss her.
Clary's body relaxes under me like I'm some kind of a drug, like I'm all she needs in order to let go of everything billowing inside her, and maybe I am. That was the moment it hit me. I would do anything for Clary. I would give my everything to make her happy, and I would do it because…I loved her. It was overwhelming, this feeling of such intense reverence. What I felt for Kaelie had never been love because it didn't hold a flicker of a candle to how I felt for Clary. I needed her because she knew loss like I did, she knew pain like I did and I found comfort in that as odd as it might sound. We were alike despite our differences and the qualities that separated us only made me love her more because they made her who she was. I didn't want just part of her, I wanted all of her. Even though I'd had her body, I still craved it and I wanted her mind as well. She was the inhale of each breath I took and I knew that without her, I wouldn't survive.
"Clary," I whispered against her lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave me the most beautiful smile. I caressed her cheek and said, "I'm in love with you." If it were possible, she smiled wider and I felt like I was basking in sunlight. Her smile warmed me from the inside out, proving to me further just how true my feelings were.
"I'm in love with you too, Jace," she murmured. We made love again before I had to leave her. It was no easy task, but with my plan about to go into action, I'd have a long road ahead. I could only hope she would understand that everything I'm about to do was for her, for us. I drove away from her house with my mind running a thousand miles a minute. I concocted my plan of action. Clary would hate me when she found out what I was about to do, but I couldn't tell her and risk Jeff Bennet finding out. I would have to find a way to tell her afterward.
A knock at the door startled me out of my memory and I hop into the bathroom. I was fairly certain Kaelie had her day filled with more wedding planning. My day would be spent at the bank. Yes, on a Saturday I was going to work, but I had to know everything I possibly could about that ranch in order to make my proposal. I would need to work this as an investment, carry on a businesslike conversation and I would need to have answers for every question. I washed up quickly and threw on some clean clothes. There was no need to dress up to be alone in the bank.
Kaelie and Evy stood in the foyer chatting happily about something I couldn't give a shit less about. Both sets of eyes flickered to me and I pushed my hands into the pockets of my jeans as I strolled up to them. "What is the plan for today, Ladies?" I ask with a smirk. Kaelie grins and winds her arm around mine.
"Bride's maid's dresses," she chimes. Evy beams at me, and I wonder why all of a sudden I feel the need to sew her eyes and lips shut. "You wanna come?" I hold my hands up and shake my head.
"Oh, no. The whole, yards of fabric thing, isn't my forte. I'm male, I've devoted my life to ridding women of fabric not throwing them in it." Kaelie cocks her head and raises her shoulder to shrug.
"O.K. I'll see you later then." Kaelie pecks my cheek and she leaves with her scary mother in toe. I'm wondering if I shouldn't fear the mother's wrath as opposed to the father's threats. With her gone, I get the chance to go back and see Clary. I've already come to the conclusion that I'm setting myself up for disaster, but I can't help it. I want to spend all my time with Clary. I don't care at this point if Kaelie finds out. I hop in my car and drive the fifteen minutes it takes to get to the Morgenstern ranch.
Luke is outside when I pull up and he has a black and white Border Collie puppy in toe. The pup is at my feet the minute they hit the ground. I reach down to pet his soft fur and he growls playfully. He's a cute little shit with one blue eye and one brown eye. "Mickey," Luke calls and whistles, but the puppy doesn't respond. I clap my hands and the dog follows as I make my way to Luke. "Jace," he nods and kneels down to pat the pups head.
"Luke," I greet.
"You're here to see Clary, I assume?" I shove my hands in my pockets and rock on my heels as I give a nod. "She's in the house with Jocy." Hmm, I've never heard him call her that before. I catch the small scowl on his face as he says it and before I can question it he sighs. "Look," he stands and slaps his hands on his jeans. "Val may not be here to monitor what happens in his children's lives anymore, but I am. Jon and Clary are the closest thing I have to children of my own and I don't like how close you two have become. Jon told me you came here last night and didn't leave until early morning. What are you doing? You're getting married."
"Luke," I sigh and push my hand through my hair, "I don't need reminding of my relationship status. "Clary is going through a rough time and I lost my parents when I was young. I know how she feels, and if I can give her any type of solace I'm going to do it. I have no intentions of hurting her or making things worse."
"That may not be your intention, but that won't stop it from happening. She's been through more than anyone her age should have to go through. Don't make it worse. I see how she looks at you, and I don't like it."
"Look, I've been warned. Jon and Alec have already given me the speech. I just want to help." I'm a horrible liar. I want her all to myself and I don't even know if I'll get that after what I have to do. Luke opens his mouth but the screen door slams shut, stifling him. Clary stands on the porch with a huge smile on her face. Mickey books it to the porch and Clary scoops him up to bury her face in his neck. She holds him in her arms and talks to him as she comes closer.
"Hey, Jace," she says and sets the pup down.
"Hey," I respond and fight the urge to wrap her in my arms.
"Luke, is there anything you need help with?" Clary asks. He glances at me and gives a quick shake of his head. "O.K." she says and her eyes light up. Clary turns to me and grasps my forearm. "Come on, there's something I wanna show you." She tugs me away but I catch Luke's grimace. Clary links her fingers with mine and leads me into the grassy field beyond the barn then past the fields and into a small grove of trees. "That up there," she points, "used to be mine and Jon's hideout. We would sneak out of the house and come out here when mom and dad were made us mad," She giggled.
"Wish I'd had one of those growing up."
"It was a God send, lemme tell ya." I nodded as she pulled me deeper into the trees. About a mile in we came to a clearing where a small pond sat. Clary gave me a mischievous look and pulled her shirt over her head.
"What are you doing?"
"Skinny dipping," she said as she wiggled out of her jean shorts. I smiled and crossed my arms over my chest as I watched her rid herself of her clothes and she bit her lip. Standing before me in just her bra and panties, she placed her hands on her hips and gave me an expectant look.
"What?"
"You've never been skinny dipping before, have you?"
"No," I scoffed.
"First time for everything," she mused and stepped forward. With dexterous fingers she unhitched my belt and drew the zipper of my jeans down then moved to them hem of my t-shirt. I lifted my arms above my head and let her draw it up, helping her when her height caused a problem and my gaze followed the shirt until it hit the grass. Her fingers hooked in the waist of my boxers and I cradled her cheeks between my palms. Dipping my head I brought my lips down on hers hard and was awarded with a moan. I kicked off my jeans and backed her up until I could feel the water on my feet. Clary lost her footing and we both went down with a splash.
"Holy shit its cold," I said, pulling her close and wading to the middle. Mud squished between my toes and weeds tickled the bottom of my feet. A feeling, I found, that I despise. Clary wiped the water from her face and snaked her arms around my neck then wrapped her legs around my waist.
"I'll keep you warm," she murmured before planting feather light kisses along my neck and collar bone. I knew it was wrong to love Clary while I was promising my future to another. I knew it was wrong to want this, to want her, but I did and I always would. The thought of being with Kaelie after having Clary made me sick. We spent the entire afternoon in the pond talking, water fighting and making up in the best ways. I'd never seen her smile so genuinely before, seen her completely happy and content and it warmed me inside to know that it was because of me.
We finally climbed out of the water and sunset. We pulled our clothes on and lay in the damp grass until the fireflies came out to play. "So this is how your dad got your nickname," I said. Clary nodded and curled into my side as we watched the sun disappear. How could I leave? All I wanted was her and this moment to last forever. Could life always be like this? I'd never known this kind of happiness, not even when my parents were alive. I was afraid to let it go for even a second.
"Jace," Clary's voice broke my thoughts and I looked down into her sparkling green eyes. "What are we doing?" I looked around thinking it was quite obvious and she stopped me. "You're getting married." And there is was, she'd asked the one question I didn't have the answer to yet. "You told me you loved me." I sat up on my elbow and she mimicked the action.
"So did you," I said. Clary nodded sadly.
"I did, but how can you say that when you're going to spend the rest of your life with her. How can you be here with me, make love to me and then go back to her?" My short lived double life was shattering around me and this is where it would get messy.
"Clary…"
"I can't be someone's second choice, Jace. I won't be," she cut me off.
"You're not a second choice, Clary, but I don't have it all figured out either. I didn't lie to you last night and nothing about today was fake. You caught me off guard. I wasn't looking for anyone else. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, but I did and I don't want to let that go."
"You can't have us both," she snapped.
"I don't want both of you," I sighed and shook my head. I ran my hand through my hair and looked into her eyes. "I want you, but I have to deal with her delicately. She's given me three years of her life. It's a lot to throw away." Clary's bottom lip quivered and she stood abruptly. I stood with her but she started to walk away before I could say anything. I let her walk ahead of me, silence crowding the endless space around us until we got back the ranch. Clary stopped at my car and I could now see the tears. I reached out to catch them and she pulled away.
"Don't come back until you've figured this all out, Jace. I've already been broken once. I can't go through it again." She turned on her heel without a goodbye or a second glance. Once she was in the house I stepped into my car and pulled out my cell. I dialed a number I haven't used in a very long time. It rang three times before the voice on the other end answered.
"Jace?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"What's wrong? Has something happened?"
"Everything's fine, but something has happened."
"Well, what is it?"
"I need a half a million dollars…for an investment."
"An investment? Jace, are you sure? That's a lot of money. You don't know anything about investments are you sure you want to do this?"
"I'm sure. It's a solid investment I assure you." A sigh muffled the ear piece and I could see him running his hand through his salt and pepper hair.
"Alright, Jace, I'll pull the money from your company account. What's her name?" I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at the screen with wide eyes.
"What?" I blubbered.
"I'm not stupid, Jace. You've wanted nothing to do with your money or the company since your father died. It would take a miracle to change that, so who is she?"
"Her name is Clarissa, her father just died and her ranch is about to be taken by the bank…"
"And to keep it from going to the bank you're going to pay off the debt?"
"Not exactly, I'm going to buy the ranch after foreclosure instead." I could hear the smile on his face.
"Maybe you did learn a few things from your old man."
"Yeah, maybe."
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LivyBug
