I watched as Carlisle drove away from the Cullen house towards my fathers, I had pleaded with him to talk to Charlie and try to change his mind, Carlisle was compassionate and I knew Charlie would listen to him. But I also knew from what Edward had told me of my father, when they broke the news, was that he struggled to understand what had happened to me. Edward said that he was suffering and felt guilty for letting me leave and not going after me. I didn't know what was the right thing to do, I was struggling myself to come to terms with what had happened. Everything was happening just too fast for me to keep up with.
I felt drained, not physically as I found out that would never happen and that we would never need sleep or any form of rest, but emotionally. This was a lot to deal with and my mind was exhausted. What if Charlie couldn't be swayed and he needed to have an open casket, could I if I had to, be able to deal with that. Could I just lie there for their sake? Could I do it for them? I would need to test myself first, see whether I could ignore the scent of human blood and control my thirst. But there was no one to test it on, I didn't want any human being to be put at risk, what if my urges took hold, none of the Cullen's could hold me back, no one could stop me, not even Edward. I was the strongest one in the house.
"We will figure it out Bella, please don't worry yourself too much" Esme put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me, I didn't know whether it was her words or just her motherly affection but I suddenly felt calmer and like everything was going to work out for the best, I saw Jasper in the corner of my eye watching me.
"Thank you Esme, I know your right. I'm sure it will all turn out ok" As everyone saw and heard the complete change in my mood and the atmosphere in the room they all turned to Jasper and looked at him. I had no idea why they were staring at him, it was me who just said those words wasn't it. Edward turned back to me and came to sit at my side on the couch; I looked at him and waited for an explanation.
"Bella it seems that Jasper has been using his ability on you, to help you." His crooked smile brought butterflies to my stomach,
"What ability is that?" I asked
"Jasper has the ability to control the emotions of others around him" Edward stated
Oh, so that was while I felt so calm, it wasn't real it was just something that Jasper was doing to me. I didn't mind though it was a relief not to have to think about it too much anymore. It was nice to have a break from worrying. I smiled at Jasper; he was just trying to help. It was nice of him to do so.
"Thanks Jasper." He returned my smile.
"It won't be long now and Carlisle will be home and we can talk about options" Edward reached over and took both my hands in his, we looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever and then I heard the car turn off the freeway down the Cullen's drive. I knew it was Carlisle as I couldn't hear a heartbeat anywhere in the vicinity. Edward and I got up and went outside to meet him, I was eager to find out what Charlie had decided to do.
When Carlisle opened the door to his Mercedes I knew it was bad news, Edward was two steps ahead of me and was over at Carlisle before I was.
"So he's decided to go with the open coffin? Carlisle isn't there another way. Bella won't be able to go through with it, she shouldn't have to."
"Sorry Edward, I did all I could."
"I know you did, it's not your fault Carlisle, it's mine and I need to find a way to fix this." I'd never seen Edward like this, his expression was pained and he looked disheartened. I didn't like seeing him like this at all.
"It's ok Edward, I can do this." The words left my mouth before I even thought of them but as they did I knew they were the truth. I needed to do this, for my parents and for Edward.
"Bella, you shouldn't have to. This is all my fault if I wasn't so weak then this would never have happened. If only I controlled myself then we wouldn't be in this mess." I rushed over to Edward to soothe him, was he always this intense and self-deprecating. Was he ever happy?
"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you don't deserve this, I will try to be positive for you, all I want is for you to be happy. Forgive me?"
"Of course I forgive you, Edward. But there's nothing to forgive anyhow, I just want you to be happy too." His answering smile warmed my cold heart.
Edward and I sat close together in the sitting room and the rest of Edward's family were scattered about the house, I wondered how they felt having no privacy what so ever, with all of us able to hear what the others were doing and saying and with Edward able to hear your thoughts and Jasper able to feel what you felt it must be hard to stay together in one house. I suppose they've had years to get used to it, and I'm sure I could do the same.
With Jasper out of the vicinity I could feel the worry and apprehension creep back up on me, I needed something to take my mind of it all.
"How about a bath?" I looked at Edward
"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" I asked.
"I wish." Even though he couldn't physically read my mind he seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, was it so obvious on my face.
As I lay in the bath I overheard Edward and Carlisle's conversation
"Now that Charlie knows about Bella's death it's only a matter of time before the Quileutes find out too and I'm sure they won't be satisfied with the explanation we have given them, especially with us being involved." Carlisle's words shocked me, what did the Quileutes have to do with this, did they know about the Cullen's?
"I've been listening in on Billy Black and the elders, and your right, there suspicious but we knew they would be, but we can't let anything happen. It's another reason why we need to leave." They were suspicious, suspicious about what? Did they know I was now a vampire? Were they going to tell Charlie?
"Now that the treaty is broken we don't want a full on war to break out, that would mean lives lost on both sides and we don't want that." War what was Carlisle saying, surely there was no way the Quileutes could win against the Cullen's or even harm them. I didn't quite understand. I needed answers.
Please review and let me know what you think, I'm not sure if I should continue with this story or not.
