Disclaimer: Same as always. I don't own them I just want to
Charles stood bent over his desk, conflicted. He needed her to know he was fine. He was strong, his heart was fine. He also knew he should listen more often, he just wasn't sure how to deal with the changes life was giving him. Whenever they fought he threw himself into his work, whenever he was upset he polished the silver. It was how he'd been for as long as he could remember. He knew she was back in her sitting room just one door over, checking the time he knew he'd have enough time to speak with her before ringing the dressing gong. Straightening to his full height he crossed the room and eased the door open, and then stood in front of her sitting room door for a few minutes, fingertips resting on the wood just above the door handle. Drawing up the courage he found somewhere near his toes he turned the handle and stepped inside silently.
She was...crying? One of the things he couldn't bear to see was a woman crying, but the sight of this woman crying nearly did him in. Crossing the room in a few quick strides he was kneeling down beside her before he could even speak. "Elsie? Elsie what's wrong?"
"Oh you go away!" She pulled back before he could take hold of her hands, still so very angry with him, didn't want him to see her like this.
"No Elsie, I wont. I'm not leaving, not until you talk to me." Placing his hands on the arms of her chair he turned her to face him directly, "Yell at me, hit me, I don't care...but I'm not leaving."
"You... I..." She sighed softly, she wasn't even sure why she was crying it had just happened. Normally when she was this angry she at least held on until she'd gone to bed. "I don't want you to see me like this. Please..."
He silenced her with a kiss, his lips pressed lightly to hers. When she didn't push him away he stood slowly gathering her in his arms and crossing to the settee where he sat down and situated her on his lap. "I'm sorry love. I'm sorry I was stupid, I don't know why I said that." Running his hand over her back slowly, he watched her face.
"I was so angry with you...and then that stupid wine delivery, and you were doing it all yourself. Charles you're going to kill yourself one of these days. I know you can do it...but you shouldn't. Please. I'm not ready to loose you."
"Oh Elsie... I'm not going anywhere." Wrapping his arms around her a bit tighter he pulled her close guiding her head to his shoulder.
She unbuttoned the front of his shirt, just enough to slip her hand in and rest it against his chest. Feeling the thump of his heart under her palm. When he'd collapsed she had been terrified, had barely made it through dinner before allowing herself to feel. When he'd had the Spanish flu, she spent every moment she could spare at his bedside, and when she'd been afraid of being ill her only thought had been to spare him the pain of knowing what she was facing.
He could feel the tension in her neck and shoulders, one large hand moved to knead gently at the muscles there. His touch gentle but firm, easing away what he could. "I'm sorry, I'll try and remember to slow down." He pressed his lips to the top of her head inhaling deeply, surrounding himself with the smell of her.
"I'm sorry I shouted at you, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you last night. I know you didn't get much sleep either." She didn't move, only relaxed against him slowly, letting his touch ease the tension. The sex was amazing, but if she really thought about it this is what she had craved all these years. The closeness, the simple touch, the silent understanding.
He let his thoughts drift, considering what she had said about coming to his room. He knew that sneaking around would be possible when they got home, but so very much harder. Pulling her closer he considered what to say. "Elsie?"
"Mmm?" Her eyes had drifted shut, her finger idly drawing patterns on his chest under his shirt.
"What do you think about getting married? We don't have to tell anyone...but then...if we were caught. Well..."
She bolted upright on his lap, her eyes wide as she looked at him. "Charles? What...I mean... Why all of the sudden?" Who was she kidding, what part of their new found relationship wasn't sudden? The thought both excited her and terrified her at the same time. She knew he had a point though, what if they were caught?
He smiled at her, one of those rare genuine smiles. "Nothing has to change as far as everyone else is concerned. I don't mind. Though we could speak with his Lordship...see what he thinks. It would be rather nice to have a cottage, or even a room with a bigger bed..."
She had begun worrying her lip, biting down on the pink flesh with white teeth. The thought was hard to swallow, telling anyone, they could loose their jobs...their home...their everything.
"Elsie I have money put away... you don't have to worry I will take care of you." Moving he took her face between his hands, "Whatever happens I'll take care of you, if they don't want us married and working we can always offer to retire. I just thought...it might be easier to do so secretly here if we went that route. Where no one knows us."
"Charles... I... give me a bit to think about it? I had thought we would retire together eventually, and probably marry because we don't know how to live alone. I never expected... I didn't think you felt the same way I did."
Kissing her lightly he smiled, "I was afraid to act, afraid you wouldn't feel the same. Afraid of loosing the friendship we have. I'll give you as long as you need, we don't have to marry here in London. It just came to mind as being rather convenient. I guess I should probably get up and ring the gong..." With a sigh he let his hand drift down from her cheeks to her shoulders, his thumbs brushing against her neck.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you...the family will be out for dinner tonight. Her Ladyship said that they hoped to be back early, or at least she hoped they'd be back early."
"Forgot to tell me hmm? Or were you mad enough at me to let me ring the gong and stand there looking like a fool?" He was grinning, bringing his forehead to rest against hers.
"I'd never allow you to look a fool intentionally my man..." She sighed softly taking it all in, there she was an old woman, sitting on a mans lap. He'd proposed, asked her the one question she'd heard twice before and denied both times. The second time she denied it because of him, because she was hopelessly in love with the man she thought would never love her back. Of course she was going to say yes, she'd be a fool to say no...but just not quite yet. There were things she needed to straighten out herself first.
