What could be sweeter than two little boys eagerly waiting for their sitter to read them a bedtime story? Only three little ones, though it was harder from the beginning. But those three never created a mess on intention. Only accidentally. It was hard to take care of them, but pleasant as well. Or what about more?
Tonight Clara had to put more children to bed, because due to some unknown reason heat and electricity had been turned off in almost all neighborhood, apart from two houses - the one which turned into a temporal kindergarten and the next door one (this was due to Peter's father personal interference in house protection). But Mr. and Mrs. Williams, as well as their three daughters, had gone to another town to visit Mr. Brian Williams, the girls' grandfather. So the only opportunity was letting all the gang spend the night at the only 'survival' house. Right now more than ten little boys were staring at Clara from bunk bed, airbeds and pillows all around the floor. The kids had refused to sleep in separate rooms, so now it was quite a crowd.
"Another chapter?" The floppy-haired boy in rocket print pajamas pointed at the book which was far too large for one evening. His neighbor was a black-haired kid in fluffy brown night attire (which, in Clara's opinion, made him look a bit like a 'Littlefoot' - like 'Bigfoot', but smaller).
"Of course!" The curly one in blue plaid wondered about his stepbrother's ability to be excited by anything. For a thousandth time. So did his 'bedmate' - the small platinum blond guy in old-fashioned checkered footsie pajamas.
Another boy, whose hair was chin-length and blond, dressed in beige pajamas with red stripes, didn't say anything, for he did feel a bit uncomfortable here. Matt and Peter, as well as the rest here, were his friends, but still...
"Come on, Max. Come on." The one in rainbow-hued nightwear, hugging a stuffed penguin under one arm, scratched his airbed, having made a small pale-furred kitten bounce onto his hand. "Stay. Stay, Max."
The kids bunched up around Clara when she started the new chapter, A Mad Tea-Party. Petey knew this tale and its sequel, but it still was really pleasant for him to listen to someone's calm voice.
THUMP!
"I fell asleep from the bed," Petey said to himself and sat up. And blinked in surprise - he wasn't in Matt's and Peter's room anymore. Instead, he was in the middle of some kind of a meadow at the beginning of a weird-looking forest. At least for him it looked weird. First of all, the ground was warm - Petey could feel it through his clothes (which were his everyday ones for now instead of pajamas).
"Well, well, well, another mad soul came here. I knew that it would be someone tiny."
Petey raised his head and blinked. Right over him there was a man sitting on a tree branch. An odd man, and still reminding the boy of someone extremely familiar. Thick brown curls, baggy clothing, long stripy scarf, toothy grin and - cat ears and tail, covered in wavy brown fur.
"What? I know you're mad, otherwise you wouldn't have got here," the man said, his grin growing even wider.
"I'm not mad," Petey replied. "W-who are you?"
"I'm the Cheshire Cat," was the reply. "And you're little Petey who's lost in his own mind for now."
"Why do you speak riddles?"
"I say what's true. Over there," the 'Cat' waved his hand to the right, "you'll meet someone who you know and who will ask you more questions than I. Over here," he pointed at the left, "you'll meet another mad person. Choose any, Petey."
"How do I get outta here?"
"It's your mind, not mine." And the 'Cat' was gone. His grin was the final part of him to vanish.
Completely and utterly puzzled, Petey began pondering what to do. In some time he realized that the 'Cat' was an adult counterpart of his friend Tom-Stripy-Scarf, but this didn't help much. Having decided that walking would be better than sitting at the same place, Petey stepped under the closest tree.
The wood was as if a story-book one, all bright colors and sunlight, so Petey didn't feel frightened. He was turning his head all the time to spot someone else 'familiar', but he put too much effort in it and therefore nearly bumped into two little persons with spiky hair and dressed in pinstriped suits, standing under the oak and embracing each other around the shoulders.
"David! Johnny!" Petey exclaimed, not knowing who of them was who. Usually David wore 3-D glasses and Johnny preferred fake real ones (which he called 'brainy specs'; Petey secretly wondered if they could fit him), but here there wasn't anything that could differ them from each other.
"If you think we're the ones whom you call this way, you're wrong," the left twin said. "Nohow!"
"And if you think we're museum items to look at, you're wrong," the right twin said. "Nohow!"
"I am Tweedledum," the left twin said.
"I am Tweedledee," the right twin said.
Petey shook his head to fully accept everything again. Having coped with himself, he asked:
"Can you help me get outta here?"
"Only if you prove you're worth it," 'Tweedledum' said.
"We'll ask you two questions, and you will decide who of us is telling the truth," 'Tweedledee' added.
"Brown was the first," 'Tweedledum' began.
"Blue was the first," 'Tweedledee' added. Then they spoke at the same time:
"Who of us is right?"
Petey placed his finger tip into his mouth: it always helped him to think. Brown was the first, blue was the first. What could that mean? David and Johnny were of those twins whose parents liked underlining their similarity, but not fanatically. There was never a time when they couldn't be differed from each other. Including... Hey, wait. Sometimes David and Johnny wore pinstriped clothing, just like now. But David always wore brown with light blue pinstripes, and Johnny wore dark blue with such ones. And David liked boasting that he was 'half an hour older' than Johnny. Then...
"You are right," Petey said, pointing at 'Tweedledum'.
"Yes, I am," he replied. "Now for the second question. The latest one has blue."
"The latest one has green."
"WHO OF US IS RIGHT?"
This was harder. Johnny was 'the latest one'... or was he? Green. Blue... But there was a chance to guess.
"You are," Petey pointed at 'Tweedledee'.
"BOO! Wrong!" the twins shouted at the same time and set off to run away from some kind of a huge dark cloud. The crow, Petey realized after having hidden behind a rock.
When it was quiet again, Petey stood up and walked on. To entertain himself he began singing in half-voice, attempting to recall full lines:
"Tick-tock, goes the clock until River meets the Doc... tonight Imma bite all the jelly babies in sight... Oh-oh-oh-oh..."
"You'd better read a poem, young face."
Petey stopped and turned his head up. Right in front of him there was a giant white mushroom, on the top of which the strangest creature was sitting. Like a centaur from the book which Tegan had shown him. The difference was that centaurs had horse bottom parts, and this creature had caterpillar's. Blue, with lots of tiny limbs. And the upper half belonged to a white-haired old man who was holding his lapel with one hand and had an old-fashioned carved pipe in the other. Again, it was a very familiar face, but Petey couldn't recognize it.
"Yes, I am talking to you, child," the 'Blue Caterpillar' (Petey recalled this episode immediately) said and let some smoke rings out of his mouth. "All the words are at the wrong places. Yes, yes, they are."
Petey blushed - he knew that the song he was singing did not exist.
"Has the cat got your tongue, hmm?"
"N-no. Can you help me..."
"I can't. But you can." Another smoke cloud. "You can help yourself, boy. Change your look at things, hmm? In this I can be a little bit of handy."
"How's that?"
"Don't you remember, hmm? Recall by yourself. You know what is going to be next," was the reply, and the speaker left.
Having stayed alone, Petey pursed his lips, thinking. What was that advice from the Blue Caterpillar? On the one side - growing, on the other side - vice versa. Just like that. The problem was about where 'one' and 'the other' sides were. Nevertheless Petey broke two pieces off the mushroom and bit on the right one.
The world changed in a mere moment - Petey found himself sitting on the grass, which was much shorter than it used to be. And not only his height changed. He didn't remember his limbs being as huge as that. Petey attentively touched his teeth with his fingers, searching for the bits of mushroom stuck between them. Hold on a second. All his teeth were solid and firm, and just some days ago one of them was going to get loose. One of the upper incisors.
"Overhuge," Petey said and jumped up with alarm: it seemed to him that it was said by someone else. This voice was much deeper than his usual squeak.
"Hey! Who's talking to me?" Again that voice, and Petey realized it was his own. The mushroom didn't just make him bigger in size - it literally made him and his clothing grow up. Oh, for the stars! Petey munched on the left piece of mushroom and was chewing until he turned into a boy again.
"I think I gotta use it when reaching for cookies," he said aloud and chuckled with delight. "No way, Peter!"
Only here he understood that the mushroom portion changed not only his physical appearance, but his size as well. Or maybe transported it to some different place? In any case, a brick wall appeared seemingly out of nowhere in front of him, together with a chubby figurine in colorful clothing on its top.
"Say thanks it wasn't carrot juice."
Petey held his laughter in, for it occurred to him that the role of Humpty Dumpty fitted his another pal, Colin, the best. Why? Colin was a bit of a 'doughnut' kid - the one who enjoyed physical exercises least of the bunch. This was the only area in which he didn't risk proving that he was the best.
"Colin Dumpty sat on a wall, Colin Dumpty had a great fall," Petey muttered to himself. 'Colin Dumpty' crossed his arms:
"I heard that. The final line is a bit long, I think. Isn't it?"
"Yeah..." Peter tugged on his collar. "Could you help me..."
'Colin Dumpty' grabbed his head from both sides:
"Bleh, bluh, bleh! Asking, asking, asking! Yes, you changed your look at things, but then... don't you remember the order? All got wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG!"
Petey rushed into the wood - it seemed to him that 'Colin Dumpty' was ready to strangle him right from the top of his wall. He was running until the ground turned slippery under his feet and he - splash! - fell right into salty water.
That is the wrong sequence, the boy thought. Wasn't it like that: corridor of the doors, pool of tears (whose tears could those be? Not his own, definitely), White Rabbit's house, the Caterpillar, the Duchess, the... mmm... and what next? Strangely enough, Petey didn't drown, though he couldn't swim well. Maybe water was so salty that it held him on its own. Petey's sitter Tegan had once told him about pools with such water.
After having swallowed several liters of salty substance, Petey finally spotted a dark object approaching right to him (the banks were gone as soon as Petey fell into the pool, and he couldn't reach the bottom with his feet). It didn't look like a boat. First of all, it was round. Round, not oval, and black. And something like a giant red upside-down question mark was sticking high over it. Petey moved up to it and realized it was a giant opened umbrella with handle up.
"Oooo, seems like there's a ship-wrecked one here!" sounded from above. Something flapped over Petey's head, fingers with claws caught his tee, and he was pulled into the 'ship'. Petey blinked, overcoming his dizziness. "There's no lobster quadrille to ya!"
The creature which got him into the umbrella was - lion or bird? Or maybe human? Most of all it looked like a sphinx: it had lion body covered with wavy white fur, eagle front paws (with huge claws - thank goodness they didn't hurt Petey) and huge wings, and a human head which belonged to another Petey's chap - 'no-H-Jon', but not a child, an adult version.
"What, haven't you seen Gryphons before?"
"Na-ah, he did not." This was said by a tubby shape of a small person with black hair and huge blue eyes, dressed in something out of - fur or feathers? A variation of Sylvester, that's who it was. At least the brolly was totally his, though so large. "Though they call me Dodo, I'm not as silly as they think."
"I'm not silly," Petey said, slightly offended. "Why don't you fly up if you carried me out?"
"Those don't work well, and I don't wanna get 'em soaked," Jon-Gryphon replied. "And Dodos are not a flying kind of birds."
Petey wanted to say something else, but a sudden wave rocked the umbrella in a violent way, so he clung to its handle. But this didn't save him from the next wave, which tossed him onto the rocky bank. He didn't feel hurt at all, so he stood up, shook like a wet dog and set off to find a way to get drier. But hardly had he made a few steps, when a shape dashed past him.
"Oh, my stars! Oh, my nebulas! I'm late!"
Petey darted after it, hoping that running would help him get dry. But at some moment the running figure turned around, and Petey bumped into it.
"And how did YOU get here?" It appeared to be a Victorian-style-attired man with shoulder-length gingerish brown wavy curls, out of which a pair of white rabbit ears was sticking. He was holding a huge pocket-watch, which was showing eight o'clock.
Paul. Or his twin Ganny? No, Paul. Tots Paul. Ganny was much less tidy. And his hair was shorter.
"I-I don't know," Petey admitted. "Fell into this world..."
"All of them do so, you know. AAAAAALLLLLL of them. Now I need to go! Duchess is waiting for me!"
Duchess. Duchess-Duchess-Duchess. Petey put his forefinger in his mouth once again. He knew that someone in the neighborhood had a nickname 'Duchess'. Someone grown-up... someone adult... but no one in the neighborhood liked pepper. Or pigs. Duchess slapped the Queen. At this moment Petey chuckled: this moment always made him laugh.
Wait a moment. What did Alice do to get into Wonderland? She followed the White Rabbit. This could mean... Petey turned around and ran again at the opposite direction than 'Paul Rabbit', but it didn't last long: the no-path way brought him to a sunlit meadow, the most prominent part of which was a long table all set for teatime, though only with three places occupied. And Petey had to hold his laughter in once more: those were Patrick in a ridiculously huge hat with brims turned up, Peter with hay in his hair (and two grey hare ears of the same shade as his curls on his head) and Chris, who was simply trying to sleep.
"Phew! I thought that was Time coming!" 'Mad Patrick' exclaimed at the sight of Petey.
"This time I used the required substance for the watch," Peter informed in his trademark shoo-I-am-right tone. "No butter."
"No butter, no nothing," 'Dor-Chris' hummed. "Personally I am surprised that this little alien is still here. With his head, one could get back in a mo'."
"Are you talking about me?" Petey pointed out.
"Mm-hmm. He's talking about you." 'March Peter' began toying with a teaspoon with his fingers.
"Oh, come on, it's easier than Twinkle Twinkle!" 'Mad Patrick' caught up. "Remember, you've been instructed! Come on! Find the needed place and change your sight!"
"And you'd better do it before these... things make me nuts!" 'March Peter' tugged at his hare ears and squirmed so naturally that Petey understood they were real. At least here. Think, Petey, think. Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder what you're at... No. Once Tweedledum and Tweedledee... as they would say - nohow. Or boo. The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts...
"Don't even THINK about that," 'Dor-Chris' mentioned, as if he read what was going on in Petey's head. Petey decided that when thinking deeply he began muttering to himself, it even happened to adults. Let's go on. What else was so famous about... YES! Petey facepalmed, then grabbed his blond locks and bounced in irritation. How could he be so dumb?
"Cor-rect!" 'Mad Patrick' sang. "Now all you have to do is..."
But Petey wasn't listening anymore. Jabberwocky! He had to find the place from Jabberwocky! It didn't even bother him that the only clear detail was the sun clock. 'Wabe' was grass which grew around sun clock, eh?..
Petey was so charged with the thought that he knew where to go that he crashed into that sun clock as a result.
"Ow!"
"Gerrof!"
"Waaaaaahhhhh!"
"Eeeeee!"
The room filled with screams and yells, and something horrid began. Yelps changed to bumps when someone was falling. Sylvester and Chris could not understand where were each other's limbs (they got entangled in a blanket), Tom was crawling all over the room, Colin was blindly searching for his kitten (which was sitting in a corner), and this was not going to end.
"What's going on?"
The kids squinted when Clara turned the lights off. The sight was horrid. Matt, Patrick, Billy and Peter were bunched up on the bed, while the rest was more like a freeze frame from a mock horror movie. The reason of this was obvious - it was Petey, who had fallen from his bed in a huge armchair (it was so huge and he was so small that it served him well this way). Before, after the kids had listened to another book chapter, Clara had found out that Petey had fallen asleep, and had put him there. And Jon served him as a landing pillow.
"I din' mean to!" Petey whimpered, having got off Jon (who looked extremely pissed off). "I-I-I..."
"I know you didn't." Clara took Colin's kitten Max up and returned him to his owner. "Did you dream of something... m-m... peculiar?"
"What's pe-kew-lee-ar?" Peter asked.
"Strange, Peter."
"I dreamed that we all were Wonderlanders," Petey confessed, while Clara was placing him back into his armchair bed. "And I bumped into a sun clock when..."
"Petey, go to sleep, okay? Will you tell it to us in the morning?" Clara asked. Petey nodded and got wrapped into his blanket, and she checked if the mess had another consequences. There happened to be almost none: the only ones were Sylvester's bump on the head and Ganny's ripped sleeve.
Hardly had ten minutes passed when the children were fast asleep. They all knew that Clara could fix anything.
A/N: I dare you to guess what 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee's' riddle was about, ha.
