RELAXATION DAY
"Why can't we just stay here?" Sheldon asked as he took his seat next to Amy on the couch. "I find that very relaxing."
"No!" Penny and Leonard said in unison.
"Why not? We could play a game."
"Sweetie, playing games with you is never relaxing."
Amy smiled, lost in her own thoughts. "Oh, I don't know. I can think of one," she said, twirling her hair. "But I didn't bring my Nurse Chapel uniform and I need that for the first part."
"Amy!" Sheldon said, nudging her with his knee. When she looked at him he gestured to where their friends were sitting and shook his head.
"What? You brought it up?" she defended.
"I most certainly did not!"
"You said you wanted to play a game, and that's my favorite one. You seemed to really enjoy it last time we played." She winked at him and grinned suggestively, causing him to blush.
"Blech!" Penny stuck her finger down her throat to indicate gagging while Leonard rubbed his eyes in an attempt to erase the visual image.
"How about a massage?" Amy suggested.
"Absolutely not!" As was usually the case, Sheldon was the lone dissenter.
Penny, who had stood up at the suggestion, sat back down with a thud. "What's more relaxing than that?"
"Oh, I don't know … a root canal!" Sheldon snapped. "I, for one, do not enjoy being groped by strangers," he explained. "And I certainly don't care to see my girlfriend groped by a stranger. I think I have already made my feelings on this subject abundantly clear."
Leonard was frustrated that Sheldon always had the final say. Why did they always give him the power in every situation?
"You know what?" he said, standing and offering Penny his arm, "You do what you want, Sheldon. Penny and I want to do something relaxing, and sitting here with you ain't it. Sorry, Amy," he muttered as they walked past her.
As soon as they were outside the door, Penny stopped. "Are we really going to get a massage?" she asked, the excitement clear in her voice.
"God no," Leonard said. "I don't wanna get groped by a stranger either. I just hate seeing Sheldon always get his way."
Penny pulled her hand from his and frowned. "Now dammit, I want a massage. After this conversation, I certainly deserve one!"
Leonard shrugged and headed down the stairs. "Do whatever you want. I'll be at Raj's. Call me when you're done."
"Happy Relaxation Day!" she snapped as she turned to go back inside apartment 4A. She found Sheldon and Amy just as she had left them, sitting on the couch arguing over the definition of a relaxing activity.
"We could watch a movie?" Sheldon suggested.
"Only if I can choose it," was Amy's immediate response.
"Oh no, I'm not sitting through another endless foray into the depressing world of French cinema."
"Well, I won't survive another viewing of anything involving men in spaceships," Amy countered.
"There are women too."
Amy's stony glare was interrupted by Penny's voice.
"Um, Ames," she said, taking a step toward the couch, "I'm going for that massage now. Wanna come with me?"
Amy got up and walked over to the door, pulling Penny aside so Sheldon wouldn't hear them. "I don't know," she whispered. "I had planned on spending the day with Sheldon."
"You tried, but he's being a total butthead!"
"That may be," Amy said, frowning at the insult, "but I don't know how he would feel if I ditched him."
They both turned to look at Sheldon, who was sitting on the couch staring into space. His expression was calm, but the way he had his arms folded across his chest told Amy he was upset. He looked a little sad, too, which squeezed at her heart.
"Of course he'd be pouting," Penny smirked. "Big baby."
Amy shook her head. "Maybe next time, Bestie. I'm gonna stay here with my Sweet Baboo."
Penny rolled her eyes and left muttering about how crowded the Shamy bubble was. Amy ignored her and went back to Sheldon.
"Where were we?" she asked as she sat down next to him.
"We were trying to decide who gets to choose the movie. Please, Amy," he pleaded, "French subtitles give me a headache."
"You're a smart guy. You could just learn the language."
"I'll learn French when you learn Klingon."
"Let's move on. How about if I promise to pick a movie in English."
"It'll just be some eighteenth-century thing where the men are choking on their collars and the women are spilling out of the top of their dresses."
Amy laughed at the look of horror on his face. "You don't care for heaving bosoms?"
"Nor foppish men in shiny britches."
"Speaking of heaving bosoms, you could rub some more VapoRub on my chest."
"Are you sick?"
"No, but it sounds pretty relaxing, don't you think?"
He frowned. "Be serious, Amy."
"Oh, I am very serious. I never joke about physical contact with my lover." She whispered the last word as if it was too scandalous to say aloud.
"Amy! Would you behave, please?"
"I should have listened to Penny," Amy muttered under her breath.
"Speaking of Penny," Sheldon said, "Did you call me a baboon when you were talking to her?"
"Of course not! Why would I call you a baboon?"
"I have no idea, but I'm sure I heard you say that you were going to stay here with your sweet baboon."
"Time to check your Vulcan hearing, Dr. Cooper."
"Amy, please. I know what I heard. And I don't appreciate being called –"
"I did not call you a baboon, Sheldon!" Her raised voice caught his attention. "I called you my Sweet Baboo. It's a pet name."
He wrinkled his nose. "And you thought Gollum was bad?"
"Can we get back to the movie before it's too late to watch one?"
"I'm not through discussing this ape thing," he said, eyeing her warily.
"It wasn't an ape, it was a baboon. And, for the last time, I did NOT call you one."
Sheldon was no longer listening to her. After staring into space briefly as if he was trying to remember something, he bolted out of his spot and ran to his video cabinet.
"I've got it!" he said, holding up a dvd case.
Amy read the title and frowned. "Planet of the Apes. I thought we said no sci-fi."
"No, you said no men in spaceships. This is a man on a planet inhabited by apes. It's not the same thing." Sheldon's smirk irritated Amy. He acted as if he'd outsmarted her and she did not appreciate his arrogance.
"And how does the man get to this ape-occupied planet?" she asked as he folded her arms across her chest.
Sheldon looked down at the floor so that Amy couldn't see his face. "Spaceship," he whispered at last. "But Amy," he added as he finally looked up at her, "you love monkeys."
"I am a fan of some primates, yes. But I have never expressed any particular affinity for apes. Especially not apes that walk, talk and behave like human warlords."
"Please," Sheldon pleaded.
"Proposal," Amy said, "I agree to one ape movie and then we give each other massages."
"Counter-proposal," Sheldon offered, licking his lips in anticipation. He loved that their arguments could always be resolved through due process. "Two ape movies and a foot massage."
"And you promise to put VapoRub on my chest the next time I get sick?"
"If you'll wear the Nurse Chapel outfit the next time I get sick."
"Think you can handle it?" she teased.
"I do."
She held out her hand and he shook it.
"Deal!" they said unison.
As the opening credits began to fill the screen, Sheldon decided they should do the two agreed upon activities simultaneously. He told Amy to slip off her shoes and put her feet in his lap, but the second he touched her she said, "Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!"
His jaw dropped and he stared at her in awe.
"Amy! You've seen this already?"
"Of course I have. I love monkeys, remember? And I happen to be crazy in love with a man who loves sci-fi movies. I hope he appreciates me," she added with a wink.
"Oh he does, little Vixen. He does."
An hour later they had switched places and Sheldon had his feet resting in Amy's lap. She had been shocked by just how deep his knowledge of reflexology had been. He really did excel at everything. He used his strong fingers to manipulate her pleasure points in a way that was almost erotic. And all the while he kept his eyes glued to the TV screen.
"See, isn't this relaxing?" she asked, hoping it was as good for him as it was for her. She wanted him to enjoy it, but her hands were not as strong as his.
"Mmmm hmmm," he hummed, sinking deeper into the couch so she could have better access. Just when she thought he wasn't paying any attention to her efforts, he spoke again.
"I must say, Amy, this is a great deal more pleasurable than when Ramona touched my feet. That wasn't relaxing at all!" He looked up at her when he realized that she had stopped and found her staring at him.
"What?" he asked.
She arched an eyebrow and glared at him. "You want to tell me who Ramona is?"
"I already did. She's the grad student who tried to trick me into sharing credit with her on my research. As if that would ever happen!" he added with a snort.
"That was a woman?" Amy asked. "Funny you never mentioned that part."
"Why would I? It played no significant role in the story. And I don't see any humor in it all."
"You didn't think I would be interested to know that some hot young coed had touched your bare feet?"
"I never said she was hot," he countered.
"You never said she wasn't either. And I'm learning, Sheldon, that you are a chick magnet. First Alex and now this Ramona. Who else have you dallied with without telling me?"
"Technically, Ramona was before Alex," he said, bristling when Amy's scowl intensified. "Can I help it if my brilliance draws eager young minds like a moth to a flame?"
"Young female minds," Amy added.
"Maybe so. But I never dallied with anyone. At least not until I met a certain little Hotsy Totsy from Glendale."
His bashful smile dissolved Amy's anger. She resumed her ministrations and allowed him to get back to his movie. When the credits started to roll, Sheldon slipped his feet from her lap and started to stand up, but she stopped him.
"I'm sorry for overreacting earlier," she said, bowing her head to stare at her hands folded neatly in her lap. "I was being silly."
He waited for her to look up at him and then he did something she wasn't expecting. He agreed with her.
"Yes, you were," he said softly. "But I understand. If you had told me you had been practically naked with another man, I wouldn't have liked it. Even if you said it was meaningless. You may not know this, but I became jealous once of an evening you spent with Leonard, and I'm assuming everyone kept their clothes on."
"Really?" Amy was incredulous.
"Yes. I even had to physically assault him to make my point."
"What point?"
"That you were not for him."
She looked at him, wanting to know more but certain he had said all he intended to. She would have to get the whole story from Penny later. For now, she would just enjoy the fact that he wanted to make her feel better and was willing to admit a weakness of his own to do so.
"Thank you, Sheldon," she whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.
"For what?" His eyes went to where her fingers touched his skin.
"For caring."
"Of course I care, Amy. I love you." He said it so matter-of-factly, as if he had no idea how much she loved hearing it.
"I love you too, Sheldon."
"I know," he said simply. "Now I need to void my bladder before we start the next movie. How about if you make us some popcorn while I do?"
Amy smiled and watched him go before doing as he asked. When she had brought the popcorn and soft drinks to the couch, she saw something sitting on the coffee table that took her breath away. She looked from the jar of VapoRub to Sheldon, who was watching her closely.
"For later," he said. "You were right before. It does sound relaxing."
