Happy New Year! So sorry for the delay in updating. The holidays were brutal, and I'm only just getting back into routine. My girls are back in school so I have a few moments, while I'm awake, to write again. I will try my best to get back on schedule.

This chapter is un-Beta'd so all mistakes are mine. As always, I own nothing. Thank you SM for letting us play with your wonderful creation.


Out of the Shadows

Chapter 12: Lonely Boy

BPOV

My visit with Angela was a whirlwind. As soon as I showed up at her house, I was ready to bust. So much had happened in such a short time that I really needed my friend's perspective.

After the usual greetings, hugs and kisses, we sat at her kitchen table with a coffee. I had known Angela my whole life so she knew something was wrong when I crossed her threshold.

"Okay Bells, spill it." She was right across from me, and looking at me directly, seeing my inner turmoil.

"I'm not sure where to start except that I was working for Edward the last few weeks." I hung my head, traced the pattern on her table with my finger, and waited for the onslaught of questions.

"Edward Cullen?" I nodded my head. "You say 'was' as in used to. What happened?" Angela gently took my hand in hers.

That is when the floodgates opened. All that happened, what was said, and how I felt came spilling out of me. Angela listened quietly until I had said it all, even what happened just before I arrived. Angela was my only true friend. She was the one who knew all of my secrets, my hurts, and my dreams, good or bad.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Angela had always heard me bash Edward but there was no way I could lie to her now.

"I, I have feelings but I'm just not sure what they are. I still want to hate him for the past but the last few weeks have been some of the best of my life. Angela, I'm so messed up right now I don't know where to turn. I want him but I don't." The tears flowed quietly down my cheek.

"Bella, you know that I never thought Edward was a bad guy in school. Out of everyone who ignored us, you seemed fixated on him." Angela stood up to refill our cups. "You're going to hate me for saying this but you have always wanted Edward, like almost every girl then and every woman now."

"Oh, Ang. I know you're right." My heart sank deeper as I gave voice to this truth. "He did crappy things to me but then so did everyone. I've come to terms with high school just not Edward." I stood up and went to the window. The rain was falling lightly, making the green even deeper, just like his eyes.

"You know the worst part? I could have had him this morning. All I had to do was accept his apology. Now I'm without him and a job. Not that I could work with him now." There was no way I could possible work that close with him. I'm not sure I could keep my thoughts or hands to myself anymore.

"I still have to talk about the job with Alice, and get the car back to the rental place. I've got a lot to do right now." I put my cup in the sink and walked to the front door.

"I'm not sure how long I'm staying in town, but I'll talk to you tomorrow." I put my coat on, reach into the pocket for the car keys. "I've got to go." My fingers traced every edge of the key wishing that I could do the same to him.

I left Angela's house and went back home. The house was still dark so Dad was at work, which was a good thing. I wasn't ready to have this conversation twice in one day. The flowers that Edward brought me were still on the table, so cheerful and full of promises. Promises that I wasn't ready to admit to myself.

Climbing the stairs to my room was hard. My feet felt so heavy, as did my heart with confusion and regret. What was I going to do? I wanted him but I didn't think I could handle it right now. The last few weeks have been so all consuming that I haven't had a chance to gather my thoughts and feelings. Maybe it was a good thing that I would have some distance now.

Once in my room, I rummaged around for the items that Alice had given me when I started the job. I needed to return them to her, along with the car. I knew that Edward's flight back was leaving in an hour so he was well on his way to Port Angeles. It would be safe to visit the Cullen's house now. I had to move forward, and to do that I had to remove Edward from my life again.

The drive to the house in the woods was much quicker than I thought it would be. I needed more time to compose my thoughts and words. It felt like someone had sped up the film but didn't tell me, the actor. An actor in my own life, how long have I been that? Too long.

I parked the car in the front, and Alice was already waiting for me, as if I had called ahead. Taking a calming breath, I opened the door and stepped out. Before I could get a word out, Alice had enveloped me in her arms.

"Izzy, I mean Bella, I'm so sorry for how this has ended up. Edward was a complete ass last night. You know that right?" I just smiled at her.

"He's gone now, back to Vancouver. Do you want to come in?" Alice took my hand and dragged me towards the house.

"Alice, I just wanted to return some things to you, as well as the car. I don't think I should come in." I managed to stop her just short of the front door.

"Oh, I understand. Edward has asked me to make sure you have everything you need. He would like you to have airfare back to L.A., and he wants you to use the car for the rest of your time in Forks. He really is sorry about how things worked out. Are you sure you don't want to come in and just talk?" Alice had the door open. I could see the sincere look of love in her eyes. We had become close these past few weeks, so she really did deserve an explanation.

"Sure. I owe you an apology." I walked past her, into the Cullen house, and placed the bag of items on the table in the foyer. Alice gently took my hand and led me to the kitchen.

"Bella, I don't think that there is anything you need to apologize for. We should have known who you were at the beginning. It's not like we haven't lived in the same small town together. We were all stuck on your appearance and not who you are. We should be the ones apologizing." Alice held both of my hands tenderly. There was no deception to her words, and I felt the remorse coming from her heart.

"Alice, I never meant to deceive any of you. The more time I spent with you the harder it was to tell the truth." The tears were prickling the corners of my eyes. I was hitting my emotional overload for the day and didn't know how to shut it off.

"You know I really should just go. I'm really sorry for everything." I brushed the tears from my eyes. "All of your and Edward's stuff is on the side." Taking a deep breath, I started for the door. "The keys are in the car, Alice. I really have to go."

I was running now for the door, for fresh air and freedom. I didn't care how I was getting home. I just had to leave their house. My emotions were getting the best of me, and there was no way I was going to show Alice how much Edward meant to me. He had to be past tense now.

I kept running towards the road, cursing my choice of shoes now, willing the tears back. The rhythmic pace I set as I hit the main road was pounding out any thoughts of what I was going to do next. If only his image could be exercised as easily. His incredible green eyes, his kissable lips, his uplifting laugh and the most delicious smile I'd ever seen, that was what filled my eyes.

All was going well until the heel of my left boot snapped off. I tripped and fell into the green undergrowth next to the highway. I stripped the boots from my feet, and nursed my twisted ankle. From the depth of my stomach, I started to shake. It started to grow, and the next thing I know, I'm laughing hysterically. I fell on my back, and my belly laughs were so loud that I didn't hear the car approaching.

"Bells, what the hell happened?" I opened my eyes to see my dad staring down at me.

"Oh, Dad." I spoke between my giggles. "I dropped off the car with the Cullens, and was just coming home."

"You were going to walk home?" My dad was looking at me like I'd grown another head.

"Yeah. I didn't do my run this morning so I needed the exercise." I picked up my boots. "Wrong choice of footwear, though."

"You're taking this healthy thing a little too far now. Let me help you into the car." He took my hand, and helped me around to the passenger side.

"Let's go home, Dad. I need to get back to L.A."


EPOV

The flight back to Vancouver was uneventful. The next morning when TC picked me up the questions started. I made it quite clear to him that Izzy was not returning, and that I didn't want a lot of questions about it.

Once I hit the circus, I tracked down Grant and informed him about Izzy. I didn't want a lot of questions, and I knew that Grant would let everyone know in a discreet manner. It was tough enough trying to keep my mind on work without all the questions and looks.

The first day was the worst because when the scenes weren't going well I needed her reassuring brown eyes, but they were no where to be seen. When lunch was called, I had to talk to Alice.

"Edward, is everything alright?" The concern was very evident in her voice. I was sitting in my trailer alone so I didn't hide the emotions that were bubbling over.

"Alice, I'm having a really rough go here. I need her." The silence on her end was deafening. "What am I going to do? I feel lost. I've never felt so alone, Alice. Have you spoken with her?"

Alice told me everything that happened the day before. It seems that Bella was returning to L.A. tomorrow. I wanted her to stay in Forks longer. If I couldn't be with her then I wanted Mom or Alice to keep an eye on her. Bella wasn't taking any of my help either. The offer of the car and airfare were turned down, but that wasn't surprising at all. Bella was a strong, independent woman who wasn't going to take help from anyone, especially me right now.

I spent the entire break talking to Alice. The lunch that was brought to me went cold, uneaten. We made the decision that I would finish out the shoot on my own. It was easier than trying to get someone new up to speed. Alice would deal with my agent and publicity from L.A., when she got back there.

"Alice, can you send me Bella's contact information in L.A." I didn't know what I was going to do yet, but I wanted to be able to get in touch with her.

"I will send you her address, that's all I have right now. I'll get the rest from her agency, if I can. Edward, call me if you need anything, even if all you want to do is talk. Hell, I'll even send Jasper up there to keep you company, if you want." Now that was true sisterly love, to give up her guy to keep me sane.

"Thanks, but I'm sure I can survive the 2 weeks without a babysitter. Bye."

By the end of the day, Bella's address was in my inbox. By the time I got back to the hotel, I knew what I wanted to do to start the wooing. I called down to the front desk, and asked for some supplies to be bought and sent up. The fans were still pretty thick out front, and I wasn't ready to put the public face on just yet.

I paced the room until the hotel staff dropped off what I asked for. As soon as he left the room, with a large tip, I seized the pad and pens from the bag. The way to Bella's heart had to come from mine. I needed to write to her, as many times as it took, until she was willing to see me in person.

The clock ticked over to 1 a.m. when I finally stopped for the night. The sum of my thoughts and feelings for her amazed me. When I started to let my feelings hit the page, they wouldn't stop. I hadn't written this much since school, but then again I'd never had such an incredible topic to write about.

The rest of the week flew by in a daze. My new accessories never left my side. Between takes I would even write, if only about the scene I'd just finished. It was like a dialogue that I was having with her, only one sided. The days were not so lonely because it didn't feel like she was totally gone, just away for a few days.

We were switching to night shoots on Monday so I knew on the weekend I would have to start adjusting my sleeping. Friday night found me collecting and compiling my ramblings into a coherent package to send to Bella. There was no way that I was going to email or text her. She deserved a more personal treatment. I had even spent time during the week hunting down a copy of her favourite book. When everything was just as I wanted it, I went down to the front desk to make arrangements for it to be sent out Saturday for next day delivery.

I staggered to bed absolutely exhausted, but feeling hopeful. My first attempt at wooing was on its way to Bella. All I could do now was trust that what my heart had to say was enough to speak to her heart.