Chapter 12
"Come to Prague with me Spike, now!" Drusilla stomped her foot.
"I'm not going anywhere with you Drusilla. I love Buffy and if I can't be with her, I'd rather spend eternity alone."
Drusilla gasped at his words. Then her eyes narrowed. "Do you think I wont do it again, my Spike? I won't stop until I've rid her – "
"Drusilla, I may not be able to bring myself to kill you, but if you don't leave us alone, I'll let Buffy do it. I will."
Angel listened carefully to the conversation he was witnessing. He had been on his way to Spike's crypt that following night in order to have a little talk with the bleached blond vampire. Instead he had found Drusilla and Spike in a heated argument outside the dwelling.
He really does love Buffy. Angel realised. Now that I think about it…Spike always did have this uncanny ability to love even without a soul…I watched over how he took care of Drusilla all those years…he never hurt her…he always cherished her…he did love her, and now that I've seen the way he looks at Buffy, heard the way he talks about her…
He would never admit it to Spike out loud, but he was beginning to realise that the vampire might just be exactly the kind of person Buffy needed in her life…the kind of man she needed by her side. He knows she's the slayer; he's strong enough to protect her and himself so she doesn't have to worry about him all the time, as she would if he were human, and he wont change because he has no soul to lose…unlike me.
Angel sighed, making up his mind. I'll take away the threat of Drusilla; I'll make sure she doesn't come between them again. I'll do it for Buffy, and then I'll leave, and if things between Spike and her are really meant to be…then I wont interfere again.
Angel vamped out and swaggered over to the bickering duo. "Hello Princess," he greeted Drusilla. "I sure have missed you."
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"Willow, I told you I'm fine! Why do you keep looking at me like you have a hundred things you want to say?"
"You're not fine, Buffy." Willow said, suddenly deciding to just let out everything that was on her mind. "I've watched you Buffy, ever since you came back and all you could talk about was Spike… " she sighed. "No…no that's not really the point. How do I put this into words? Well, it seems to me that you have let your insecurities concerning Spike get the best of you."
"What are you talking about Willow, I thought we agreed not to discuss him." Buffy sighed. "I really just wish to forget…"
"But I remember Buffy," Willow blurted out. "I remember all those months when you were with him, before Drusilla came back. You were so happy together, and seeing you that happy…it made me happy too. Can you remember that feeling? Don't you see? Back then, you didn't think about the future…you didn't think about the past. You simply thought about the present, enjoying your time with Spike, and in that way, you were carefree.
In this world…especially for you…. the future is so uncertain. Is it really worth it to get so hung up over the past and things that could, but also might not happen in the future, so that you end up being miserable forever? Buffy, I'm your best friend, and I've watched all that has happened to you over the last few months. While I don't fully understand your relationship with Spike, and while it initially had me worried…. I know that if you go on like this, you will always have a hole inside, and you wont be able to be truly happy again. That thought makes me very sad because I really can't do anything more than to tell you this."
"Willow." Buffy let out a sob. "You're…I think you're right." She hugged her friend tightly. She's right…and I used to think like that! Its true that…I love Spike so much I allowed it to make me foolish, I let those things Drusilla said to me sink too deep, instead of just ignoring them, paying attention to what was important, trusting Spike more. And in the process I ended up hurting my friends as well…I can't go on like this…
but…
but it doesn't change the fact that in the end he chose Dru. If only that didn't happen…if only…
"Willow, you're a great friend and I don't need a boyfriend. With friends like you and Xander, I don't need anyone else to make me happy. I'm sorry for sounding so selfish, I promise you, things will get better once I get myself back on track again." Buffy tried to say it like she meant it.
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"Daddy? You're back?" Drusilla whispered, her eyes lighting up with glee.
"I sure am baby." Angel placed his hands on her hips and pulled her sharply against him.
"Found a way to get rid of that damn soul…I feel so alive again." He grinned.
Spike gaped. "What the…how?" Did he sleep with Buffy? His mind asked. No, he couldn't have…she wouldn't…she couldn't still love him like that…
But it didn't stop the wave of jealousy that ran through him.
I can't survive this…Spike realised. He had thought that staying away from her would mean she wouldn't risk herself again for a worthless cause…but, how could he do that when every bone in his body screamed at him to stay by her side and protect her? What's more, I can't stand not knowing…I have to find out WHY she really loves him more, and then I have to be the man she wants me to be! I can't let it end this way!
Spike stormed off, heading towards Buffy's house, hearing Angel telling Drusilla, "Lets get out of this damn town," as he left.
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"Yes, Mrs. Summers, I'm fine. Yeah, Buffy stayed over last night after studying at my house. We both just feel asleep and didn't even realise it! She's staying for dinner and then will come home." Willow hung up the phone. "That was your mother wondering why you weren't there. Looks like the spell has worn off." She smiled.
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Buffy walked slowly along the streets, feeling miserable. I wonder how he's coping…dose he ever have nightmares too? Or has Drusilla made him forget about his time in hell already?
Why couldn't she think of anything other than Spike?
Buffy rounded the corner to her driveway and stopped. Who was that standing at the front door, about to knock?
"Spike?"
He whirled around. "Buffy!"
For a second she almost threw herself into his arms, out of pure habit, but she held herself back just in time.
"Where's your Drusilla?" she asked snidely, then added, "Don't bother answering that. I don't want know and I don't want to see you. Get out of here."
Spike took a step towards her, his eyes pleading. "Buffy, just answer me one thing and I'll leave you alone. What does he have…that's so much more than what I can give you? Is it the soul?"
Buffy looked at him blankly, not knowing what he was going on about. "Spike," she said, unable to stop herself, "Why did you lie to me, when the results ended up being the same? You left me for her. You never stopped loving her – "
"You never stopped loving him." Spike said at the same time.
They both froze, staring at each other.
He…he thinks I left him for Angel?
She…she thinks I left her for Dru?
"This is…. THIS IS STUPID!" Buffy burst out. She grabbed the front of Spike's shirt, yanking him close, staring into his eyes frantically, trying to make him see how much she loved him, how much she always had. For too long they had let other people interfere, for too long they had used words wrongly, took things the wrong way, and ignored the evidence that was there all along, the evidence that they needed no words to prove.
Spike looked into her eyes and he understood.
"Yeah." He pulled her close. "Yeah, it is stupid."
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Buffy and Spike sat side by side together on the front steps, their hands entwined. They had sat there for ages, neither saying a word, comfortable just being together.
"Did you…did you suffer much when you were there, alone in hell?" Buffy asked quietly, feeling like she had to know.
Spike was quite for a while before he spoke. "I only spent a little while in there…when you think you're going to be spending eternity in such a place…you lose hope very quickly. You forget about the world, you forget about what you once where…and it's very easy to slip into insanity. But Buffy, even when you weren't with me, you were my lifeline, loving you, I couldn't forget about this world. And that's what kept me sane."
"Do you…do you have nightmares?"
"Only when you're not with me."
Buffy nodded, "Same."
They sat in silence for a while longer, and then, once again, both started to speak at the same time.
"Buffy I never meant to hurt you, I made some really stupid decisions, it's just that, loving you it made me so – "
"Spike, I'm sorry it's just that I was – "
They broke off, looking at each other. "Scared," they finished together.
For a moment they were both too shocked to say anymore.
Then Buffy smiled slowly. "I understand, Spike. Finally, I understand."
"I know I'm a monster and I don't have a soul but I'll always stay by your side as long as you let me – "
"Spike, you know you're different and I consider you much more than just a vampire, so don't say those things. I understand."
Spike nodded, relieved.
"I won't let anything come between us again Buffy," he declared firmly.
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"Ahhh! I can HEAR the kissing!" Xander shrieked, covering his ears.
"Xander," Willow laughed, throwing a pillow at him. "Just pretend their not there and watch the movie."
"Why did bleach boy even have to come?" he whined.
Buffy broke away from her making out session with her boyfriend. "Xander, really. You're the one who invited Spike over."
"So what if I did? He should know that was just being polite, can't he read the fine print, ie. Let Buffy go, but don't come yourself?" Xander complained, but they all knew he didn't really mean it.
Xander turned his attention back to the movie, while Buffy and Spike tried to pay attention but kept getting distracted by each other.
Willow watched the odd couple, smiling to herself. Buffy was truly happy again, she could see that and she felt relieved because she knew the slayer needed it in her life. Angel had gone back to LA, bringing Drusilla with him. He still kept in touch with Buffy, phoning her up every now and then just to see how she was doing, but Angel understood that a romantic relationship could never exist between them again.
Apparently, Drusilla had known right away that Angel still had his soul, but she had gone along with it because she had been " bored." Her words. Later, Angel said she had wandered off, and he had spied her making out with a chaos demon that she seemed to be spending more and more time with. As long as Drusilla had someone to play with, she didn't seem to mind that Buffy had Spike, and Willow had the feeling that the vampiress had learned her lesson.
It didn't matter if Spike couldn't bring himself to stake Drusilla, or if Buffy still cared for Angel.
It was clear to everyone that there was only one person the vampire and the slayer each loved, they may have more obstacles in the future, but one thing would always remain the same, would always be there, if they just took the time to look below the surface and not get overwhelmed by fear or jealousy. Buffy and Spike loved and understood each other like no one else could.
And nothing could come between or change that.
The End!!
Hope you all enjoyed. Was the ending too sappy? Sometiems I just cant control what I write :P I think it turned out quite a different fic from the first one? Hmm maybe not, I can't really remember lol. Well I was aiming to finish this story before the end of the year and I managed to yay! So I want to wish you all a very happy new year! Thank you for reading and thank you so much to all those who have taken the time to review :)
