Disclaimer: MNO!
About last chapter's titel randomly I thought of The Hobbit. "There And Back Again, a hobbit's tale by Bilbo Baggins."
Wow, thank you guys for the reviewing so quickly. Well, I can always use that thread. Lemon Verbena, Edwards feelings we'll get to if you keep reviewing! Oh, and thanks for the congrats on my grades! Bellawish2b, yes it is Jaspers house. *Gasps of excitement*."And then Jasper snapped and killed everyone. The end.":D, Isabelle896, that made me laugh my head off. Well, because of your reviews, I sit here in front of the computer at 04:03 at the night (we don't count p.m or a.m in Denmark) and I've just written this chapter. OMJ (Jasper) I'm exhausted. I'm suppose to wake in less than two hours and get ready to go to school. *Sighs and yawns*
We were back again. Back to his house. His. Jasper. I can't help thinking that the house is his. All the way to the house we didn't spoke. Jasper didn't sleep in the back of the car. Even with a blanket over me, I felt alone and cold. I felt like I was deserted by him. We didn't speak about it. He had told me to figure out things myself. Okay, here's the math I've been doing: Jasper, being a vampire with good sight and memory like no other, got us on the wrong plane - I get blisters on my feet, I don't think he wish that I got them, did he? + he finds a house where no one lives in it, but with food, clothes and everything + he didn't find out there was a garage with a car in it + Alice are getting weird flashes + I'm in love with him = I think Jasper did this. This was a set-up. He probably dazzled the flight attendant on purpose. He had planed this, and used his powers somehow to get Edward to let Jasper follow me to the bathroom. But Jasper couldn't have made nature's force takes it course? Well, he did give me a soda in the car. Does that count? The clothes weren't Alice's. And now I think it through; the clothes I borrowed I thought was almost not used wasn't used at all. I dragged my bag up to the bathroom, filling the shelves with products Alice had left me. Apparently she had too much spare-time to do nothing else but buying products for my human body. A sudden anger filled me. Why did Alice really care about me? I shrugged. Wow, I must be out of my mind since I think of Alice like that. Then I dropped the product in my hand on the floor, walked into the bedroom and jumped into the bed. I tried to get as many pillows I could get over me, playing like a little child. I lay in the bed. The sun wasn't setting yet when he spoke: "Aren't you tired of playing like a child?" Jasper. I didn't bother removing the pillows from my body. I knew what would happen. But why didn't I prevent it? I felt the pillow at my left foot be removed. Then the one on my thighs. Then those around my over body. Then I waited. The last one was the one in my face. It was removed ever so gently. I saw him. What now. "Jasper, I-." Again, why wouldn't he listen? Why did he have to kiss me like this? It ached in my body in a pleasant way. He kissed me. Guess there's no way around it.
I pushed him away gently. Then I sat up in eye height with him. I grabbed the edge of my green shirt and began to pull it off. When I was just about to pull it off, Jaspers hands grabbed my arms, pulling them down. He shrugged and hid his face with one hand as he apparently scolded himself with a growl. "I'm… Sorry… Bella", his words were slow because he apparently had to force himself. Awkwardness filled the room. Jasper pushed it away by speaking: "I'm going to sleep on the couch. Please. Don't… tempt me like that again." He left the room. I lay on the bed, waiting for the twilight. I kept laying in the bed. My stomach began to growl. I didn't care. Well, just until it got utterly embarrassing and I went down into the kitchen. I was surprised to find Jasper in it. "What are you doing?" asking about his presence in the kitchen. He's a vampire. He doesn't have to eat human food to survive. He sighed. "I could hear your growling anywhere I went in the house." I smiled. Ups. It was inevitable. And I couldn't help it. I swear. I just vomited the words out as usual.
"Jasper, why did you do this?" He didn't look at me.
"You needed the chance to get involved with me. I couldn't just say that I had started having feelings for you, and that I didn't want to be with Alice anymore. You had to fall in love with me." Bull's-eye.
"I-I didn't fall in-" he shot a glance at me. "I know what you feel, Bella. You can't hide your feelings behind words. I wasn't exactly… pleasant with you finding the car."
"Then what about the clothes?" I remembered the sexy lingerie. Had he chosen that?
"I've had it in some time now. Human time that is."
"In some time? How long have you…?" I couldn't finish the question. How long have you loved me? His eyes answered me. Always. I stood silent as Jasper prepared my meal. Always. But why? Why did he let Edward save me and let Edward become my boyfriend?
"I… must say, however, that even though I was in love with you, I was still in love with Alice. I refused it. Suppressed it for as long as I could. But then I realized I didn't love Alice anymore. I don't want her. She knows it, yet she doesn't leave. I think it's best if I leave. I've done everything wrong. Your relationship with Alice and Jasper and your world. You're about to be Edwards wife, and I want to sleep with you." I felt flattered by his words, though hurt.
"Don't you understand that I will leave you if we sleep together?" I nodded. "I don't want to deceive Edward-", he cut me off. "You have already deceived him in your dreams, haven't you? In your thoughts, too." There was a pause. He slid the dish towards me. As usual perfect cooked. "I love nobody. You just assumed that I loved you. Forget me and return to your life when this time has passed. We don't fit together and I always want to eat you. Your blood really is like a drug. You make me feel high when you're around. And when I'm without you I can't stop the shivering, the abstinences." His voice grew darker as he spoke: "And then I'm so alone in a bottomless pit. Falling. Reaching for hands that aren't there. You give some ground to stand on. But else I'm falling." His body trembled I could see. "I want your body, but I can't have it. Do you know how that tortures me?" I nodded. I knew it more than he thought.
"As you've said; we can't be together." The trembling stopped. "I'm going hunting", he said shortly.
It was dark outside. I poked at my food.
The answer in my body made me tremble. But for just now I want to be with you.
You know, I'm gonna kill Bella and Jasper if you don't review. Push the review button, you knooooow you have to! -Marianne.
