Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It
Chapter 12: Stained Or Unstained, It Means Nothing
It was another warm summer day, like most in the Hampton's, the sky was blue, the clouds white and fluffy, and the sun was shining down on the spacious land and soft rolling waves of the ocean. But one would never know, not through looking into the bitter lives of Daniel Grayson and Emily Grayson...Correction Thorne, because although by law they were married, in reality they couldn't have been further apart, in both heart and mind.
Marriage, holy matrimony, union, whatever you wanted to call it, it was all a farce to them now... now the only thing they seemed unified in was their mutual need to see the other hurt.
"Daniel" Emily shouted impatiently, her voice raised as she stood outside his door, her hand curled up into a fist against the door, as she abruptly knocked to get his attention.
Hearing silence on the other side, she sighed in pure irritation, as if he could ignore her, his hostile wife, his constant sparring partner, his unforgiving reminder. He could try, and the first week he had, he had tried so hard to ignore her, it was amusing in its own way, watching him bite his tongue, and look away as if he thought the silent treatment would do anything other than make her laugh. It hadn't of course, in fact Daniel trying to ignore her constant jabs and attacks, seemed to madden him more than it did herself, and so as they'd both predicted him being on the defensive hadn't lasted long.
From then on it had been constant, back and forth fighting, malicious in its intent, and often baseless for their only reason for doing such things was their desire to see the other hurt and lose their resolve.
Placing her hand on the door knob, not caring to wait for his permission a second longer, Emily turned the door knob and stepped inside...though this time she wished she really hadn't.
It was too much his smug expression and hers, as they sat up in bed together, seemingly unclothed, with his arm draped lazily around her bare shoulder.
It made her sick.
"What do you want, to chat about the weather? How I slept last night?" Daniel asked mockingly with a smirk on his face as he looked up into Emily's resentful eyes, "Because I didn't, not much anyway" he added, turning his gaze to Sarah and smiling as his hand softly stroked her natural brown hair.
"That about does it for me, what's new with you?" Daniel asked smugly, watching Emily as she tried to keep her emotions in control. This was the hardest he'd ever seen her try and for that he couldn't help feeling accomplished. She was the one who had wanted to play, she was the one who had wanted to dismantle his life, and so he refused to feel guilty and he refused to stop until she waved the white flag, and even then he couldn't imagine that he'd stop being resentful of her, it was too late. She'd hurt him too and then forced him to remember, forced him to hold on, for what, her enjoyment?
They could have moved on, he could have moved on, that's all he had wanted a fresh start, a chance to redeem himself, but she had turned cold, and vicious, and now he had too. Now the only happiness he knew he'd get was from the satisfaction of knowing that for however long she stayed, he could hurt her, more than she could hurt him, and so he had decided, that if he was going to lose in life, he would make god damn sure that he'd win in her game.
"You need to get dressed" Emily said sharply, glad her voice hadn't betrayed the emotions that sight had brought up as her eyes swept over them in disgust, "We have a cocktail party to attend to, and they'll be expecting the Hampton's favourite young couple to be there".
With that she swiftly exited the room, the staccato beat of her Louboutin heels, echoing off the marble floor as she walked towards her bedroom, now more than ever feeling the need to regain her composure so that she could bear to have Daniel on her arm in half an hour, smiling and laughing with other affluent people of the Hampton's, no doubt all pretending that their life was perfect too.
Stepping into his bedroom, and feeling the childish urge to flop onto his flush large bed, and just lie there arms spread out wide, as he'd done as a teenager, to combat his tiredness, and well laziness at that time. Daniel's simple plans came to a disappointing halt, when he saw a certain, brown eyed, blonde haired woman sitting on the edge off his bed, with a cloth garment bag to the left of her.
Emily looked as beautiful as ever, a perfect ten in appearance, it really was no wonder he'd fallen for her, it's not like he had realized at that time, that with her beauty and charm, came a darkness and bitterness, much like how a beautiful bright flower, could hide a spiteful serpent underneath it.
Emily would probably say, that that wasn't fair, that the darkness and bitterness wasn't always there, that it had formed only when his actions against her took a turn for the worst... Well that was if she'd have an honest conversation with him without trying to uphold her cold demeanour, but he was over that now, honest conversation or not, him and Emily were beyond any form of repair.
He couldn't even look at her for too long, without his blood beginning to boil with anger, and his body beginning to feel exhausted. Like now, he had half a mind, to turn right back around, and find a random guest room to execute his simple plan in because he simply did not want to deal with her.
There was only so much Emily Thorne he wanted to handle in a day, and he felt his gauge was full. He'd fought with her, argued with her, insulted her, and then at the cocktail party; danced with her, kissed her and laughed with her, all for show. Anymore of her in a day and he'd snap and then who knows what he'd do, kiss her or strangle her maybe.
Quietly, turning back around, hoping to quickly slip out his room before she noticed him, Daniel had one foot out the door, when he heard Emily's sneering voice, "Don't tell me you're running away so soon, and after I purposely sat here waiting for you too".
"Of course not" Daniel replied, as he stepped back inside, turning to face her, "I was just a bit surprised that you were in here. I would have thought that you had learnt your lesson this morning, and known not to enter my room without permission, but if I am to be completely honest, then I was going to give you that permission anyway just to see the look on your face. I knew it would be priceless and it really was. Remind me, I really must properly reintroduce you to Sarah tomorrow."
Emily rolled her eyes, as she warned, "If I were you, I would just enjoy her while she lasts, which won't be long when I start on her."
"She loves me, Emily, a feeling you'll probably never experience again with your heart so cold" Daniel quipped, a short, harsh sounding laugh escaping his throat, "and since she loves me, she won't be leaving my side so easily."
Emily smirked as if amused by his comment, "Love, I wouldn't be too sure about that, I mean, you of all people proved that it wasn't hard for me to get a man to fall blindly in love with me, and unlike you I already have a line of fair admirers, one being that sexy cop that loves to find an excuse to come and visit me". Emily retorted smugly.
"And as for your little bedmate I know something she cares for more. I mean come on Daniel, do you honestly believe that you're her whole world? You don't even love her, you're just using her cheaply anyway, to try get under my skin, and to gain the benefits you know you won't be getting from me... On that note, I have to ask, last night did you enjoy pretending she was me? I hope you didn't slip up and say my name aloud."
Daniel glared at Emily, his thoughts still too much on Sarah to respond quickly to her snip remark. She was right, Emily was right about one thing and that was that he didn't love Sarah, not anymore and as much as he'd tried to fool himself, not even when he had first started the affair with her before the wedding.
The truth was he hadn't loved Sarah since the day he'd stopped thinking about her, and that was before he'd even met Emily. But that didn't mean he didn't need her, he knew it was selfish of him, but he was beyond the point of caring; he needed someone to fill the void, the emptiness he felt inside, he needed a distraction, he needed someone to tell him that they loved him and mean it, or someone to smile when he kissed them, and above all else he needed someone to remind him that he was in fact worth loving and Sarah fit that bill. Did he care for her, yes, but at this point he didn't care enough to stop lying to her about his love. His needs were more important, especially at a time like this, and he'd by lying if he said he didn't enjoy the added benefits Emily had mentioned.
"Why are you even in my room?" Daniel demanded to know, his voice riddled with aggravation, as he walked further inside and towards her.
Holding up a simple cloth garment bag, she handed it to him and said, "I was doing some errands today after the party and so I decided to do you a favor."
"I'm grateful" Daniel said drily, snatching it out of her hands, while wondering what kind of bomb she'd hidden this time.
Placing it flat on his master bed beside where Emily was sitting, he slowly unzipped it from the top down, his eyes first widening in recognition, then in disbelief, as his eyes took in his now unblemished grey jacket, and as much as he didn't want it to, his mind took him back to that day, sparing his heart no pain.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot" a beautiful blonde women, said embarrassedly, having just spilt her cocktail all over his jacket
"Oh don't worry about it, it's probably the universe telling me I need a costume change" he replied charmingly, introducing himself quickly after, "I'm Daniel"
There it was her smile, beautiful and radiant at the time, "Emily" she lightly replied.
Shaking his head, trying to get that memory out of his mind, this time around, he could only guess how transparent the pain he felt was. He had thought that he didn't care, that Emily couldn't hurt him anymore, that his heart had turned cold like her own, but he must have been fooling himself for if he really felt those things, then this low blow she'd dealt him would not have phased him, like it did.
Flashback
"Remember how we met?" Daniel asked quietly, as he sat down beside Emily on her wooden bench swing on her porch.
Emily smiled softly, and taking in his calm demeanor a wave of relief seemed to wash over her.
They had just previously had an argument, about how she was or wasn't keeping secrets from Daniel about Jack Porter, and he had been upset with her, feeling as though she hadn't been honest with him.
She had apologized sincerely and then before having fully processed what she was going to say next, her emotions had taken over, nullifying even her tough walls, as she made herself vulnerable and admitted to him that she was just scared. Scared because she was falling in love with him.
Daniel's expression had softened at that and he had looked conflicted, like he wanted to take her in his arms, but at the same time he still hadn't completely shaken the anger he had previously felt, so instead he had quietly left, mumbling that he needed to take a walk.
Emily had gone home after that, a nervous feeling settling into her stomach, as she had quietly reflected over her relationship with him, while hoping that he would come find her later on that evening.
"How could I forget, I spilled my drink all over your jacket" Emily replied softly, laughing ever so lightly as she looked into his eyes and recalled the memory.
He chuckled lightly with her, his eyes looking towards her with love before he quieted down, so his voice was soft and low, "I never had that jacket cleaned."
Emily gazed back at him in surprise, the corners of her lips tugging up into a tiny smile, while her heart slowly soaked up the love she felt from his romantic confession.
Daniel looked bashful as he continued, speaking slowly and sincerely, wanting her to hear every word, "I uh, I hung it in my closet, to remind me that unpredictable moments can change your life if you're ready for them."
He then paused, gazing towards her lovingly, as his warm hand found her own, and she found herself holding her breath in anticipation, for whatever beautiful words would float out of his mouth next.
"I'm ready", he declared without any hesitation, "I'm falling in love with you too".
With those words Emily froze, her mind blanking as the powerful emotions that swept over her engulfed her mind and rendered her speechless, and the only thing she could find herself doing was drawing in a shallow breath as she felt his body slowly lean in to her.
Daniel gently placed his hand on the side of her neck, slowly moving her head closer towards his lips, as he felt her own hand find the comfortable spot towards the back of his head, and as his soft, warm lips made contact with her own, Daniel began to kiss her slowly and passionately, wanting to savour every second of her sweet kiss, and the exquisite taste of her lips.
Reluctantly pulling away for a breath, Daniel couldn't help but smile against them, upon feeling the racing heartbeat of her quickened pulse against his own.
Emily smiled too, feeling lightheaded from his confession of love and the passionate kiss, he'd indulged her with, and feeling suddenly tired, she leaned her body against the steady frame of her lover, feeling a sense of serenity, from sitting there in the arms of Daniel Grayson, with the warm summer night breeze blowing gently against them, as they gazed up into the beautiful night sky, silently wishing on and gazing upon the illuminating stars.
Flashback End
"You know what that meant" Daniel said angrily, his voice low like he was trying to control himself, as he turned to face her.
Emily did know what that jacket meant, it was the jacket Daniel had worn the day they had first met at the summer memorial day party, years ago. She had accidentally spilt her drink all over him, which was how it all started, their chance meeting, their unforgettable summer... and their love, honest and pure as it was at that time.
She hadn't known till later on, but one night, actually the first night, they'd used the word love, Daniel had admitted, that he had kept that stained jacket as a reminder of their love, and how that one unpredictable moment, where her hand had slipped causing her drink to splash over him, had changed their lives. She had never told him this then and as things stood now, she definitely never would, but she had found that to be one of the most romantic gestures anyone had ever done.
So yes, if Emily was to be honest, then it would be a lie to say that the jacket didn't mean anything to her, and yes, she had struggled to do what she did and absolve that romantic gesture from all those years ago, but above all else she wanted him in pain and she knew that erasing the stain from his jacket would do the trick, and magnanimously too, especially because he was generally more sentimental than herself. And in a way, as the sad idea had floated into her mind, she had felt the need to do it as a way to test her own resolve for this so called mission. If she refused to do it then that would have been like admitting that she still cared, and that she still wanted to hold on, even if only a little, and she couldn't have that... she just couldn't.
So as Emily had stepped in to the dry cleaners and walked up to the front desk with that grey jacket in her hand, before the nostalgia she still felt could stop her, she had handed it in and paid for it to be cleaned, deciding that it was worth some of her own internal sadness, just to see him hurt more.
Looking back at Daniel in an indifferent manner and thus hiding her true feelings buried deep within, she cuttingly said, "I know, which is why I also know that it's not like you needed the reminder anymore, or the sentiment of our chance meeting... or was I suppose to assume you still cared?... because I didn't."
"You scornful bitch" Daniel growled angrily, his dark angry brown eyes piercing into her own.
Brushing off his sharp remark, Emily continued, "You were wrong Daniel, remember that summer night when you told me that the stained jacket was a reminder to you that unpredictable moments can change your life if you're ready for them. It was never meant to be a reminder for something good, right from the beginning that stained jacket was supposed to be a sign to us, a warning that good things are always tainted."
Catching the impending sadness, and thus vulnerability in her own voice, Emily corrected her manner by scornfully adding, "I wish I had only realized that then, then all those memories we made would be non-existent in my mind, and I would be at peace having never gotten to know you".
Daniel's whole body stiffened at that remark, and he could feel his blood boil in anger from her audacity. Through it all; all the pain, all the anger, all the sadness, he had never, not once wished for the memories they made to disappear.
He had wished for a lot things; that the bad times had never happened, that they had went through with the wedding the first time he proposed and moved to Paris, that he hadn't shot her, that he hadn't loved her so damn much, and recently, that she'd leave him the hell alone, but he had never wished that he had never gotten to know Emily. And even now, as he looked at her, his feelings saturated in hate, he just couldn't bring himself to do it, to wish away the memory of her...even if it meant remembering the bad ones and feeling that pain.
Turning to face her so that his dark blazing eyes, were staring into her cold ones, in his smoldering anger, he heavily slammed down his hand on the bed, making even her flinch as he furiously asked, "So you'd wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared...just like that?"
Feeling the intensity of his passion and anger, Emily subtly cast her eyes away from him, looking down at the grey jacket instead, and as her eyes lay focused on the spot where the stain should be, she could hear his question ringing around in her head like an angry alarm, subconsciously trying to force her into thinking of an honest answer.
"You'd wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared, just like that?" he repeated again, ever so tensely like he was straining his voice to keep himself from yelling.
"I don't know" she spat out hotly, irritated at the pressure he was emitting out into the air.
If there was a time for her to leave, strategically it would be now, and she'd considered that when her eyes had flickered towards the door. But the tension in the room was so thick at the moment, and his glare so intense, that she feared if she got up then he would grab on to her and pull her back down to where she was sitting, not letting her go until she answered his damn question.
Emily didn't want to be touched by him, she didn't want his rough hands trying to restrain her like he'd done just weeks before against the wall, and this time it would be against the bed, god the bed. Daniel looked too infuriated to try and kiss her like last time...but there was such a thing called angry sex, a strange phenomenon, where somehow the passion felt from anger, got transferred to the bed, and if Daniel started dragging his lips across her body, sending her senses in a wild state of disarray, she couldn't completely vouch for herself, that she'd stop him.
Biting down hard on her lower lip as a way to try and suppress those surfacing thoughts, she looked back at Daniel, and using just as much ferocity in her own voice, said, "Daniel?...Do the good times we had outweigh the bad? Answer my question and only then will I answer yours"
Daniel paused, looking away from her in the hope that not seeing her face and how angry it made him, would help him to think more objectively, though the glare on it never eased out of his expression. Even as a thousand thoughts and memories flashed through his mind, both good and bad.
Their first date, her walls, the proposal, calling off the wedding, getting back together, the stress, the wine auction, the accusations, the wedding, the shooting, the guilt, the love, the fights, the hate.
"I don't know" he murmured bitterly, not being able to settle on a solid answer, as much as he wanted to.
"You don't know?" Emily persisted,
"I don't know" he repeated snappily, raking his fingers angrily through his dark brown hair in frustration.
Emily didn't know either and she had been struggling with the answer to this question for a long while now. She'd been on the fence and on either side of it, but she could never settle on a definite side, a resolute answer.
"Your turn" Daniel persisted still seething, as his angry eyes bore into hers, "Would you wish away all the good times we had, all the memories we shared, if it meant not feeling this pain?"
Emily paused for a brief second, it would be in her nature, to lie and say yes, just to further hurt him, but for some reason she felt a sort of disposition to be honest. Maybe because like Daniel, she saw the importance of the question, or maybe just because she knew she had no definite answer, and therefore that telling the truth would give him no solace.
"I don't know" Emily simply replied.
Their questions were intertwined, tangled together like two strands of thread and to successfully sort them out, it was easier to start untangling one strand of thread first, before tackling the other. But she couldn't do that, her question was left out in the open, and she needed the answer to it, to answer his own question.
For example; if the bad times outweighed the good, then she would wish away all her memories of Daniel, in order to free herself from the shackles of pain.
But if the good times outweighed the bad then she wasn't sure that she could wish away all her memories, to free herself from the pain that eventually one day she'd get over. Not if it meant sacrificing her good memories. It wasn't like she had a lot in the first place, from childhood to young adulthood there was a big gap in her happy memories, due to her parent's death and her shuffle around the unjust foster care system. So to wish away the ones she made with Daniel, for the chance to get rid of the bad memories, which were painful, but which she had less of, it was a tough decision...one she was thankful she didn't have to make.
Not understanding that Emily had indeed thought about it, and answered honestly, Daniel's glare deepened even further, and he sharply said, his voice raised in anger, "You didn't even think about it!"
Emily merely shrugged her shoulders, her lips curling up into a little smirk. She could explain to him that she had in fact thought about it but it gave her such thrills to wind him up and he was so close to blowing his fuse too. So instead, she stared up into his dark angry eyes, looking back at him unwaveringly, and said, "What a keen observation".
Well that did it...
Grabbing her arms roughly, Daniel yanked her off his bed where she'd been sitting, and growled, "Get out of my god damn room Emily", his angry voice booming loudly as she found her feet and began to walk away.
"With pleasure" Emily quipped.
"And Emily"
She was right at the door now, but she turned around anyway, pivoting on her fancy high heels, as she faced her fuming husband, only to see his expensive grey jacket, flying towards her at a forceful speed.
As she messily caught it in her hands, Daniel finished off by saying, "Do whatever the hell you want with this jacket, stained, or unstained, it means nothing, absolutely nothing!"
"Fine, I will" Emily replied indifferently, shutting the door behind her, as she finally exited his room.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it feels like such a while since I've put a new chapter out =D. On that note thank you to all the people that commented on the last chapter and /or the previous chapters.
Question of the chapter (cause I feel like having one): What do you think Emily's going to do with his grey jacket? a)Secretly keep it herself b)Secretly put it back in the back of his closet c)Give it away to someone or d)Throw it away
Have a good weekend, and may we all be blessed with great post valentines day sales xD
