Disclaimer: Meyer Inc.
Chapter 12
Return
The smell of pine assaulted my senses the moment I stepped from the car and onto the soft earth. Nothing had changed about the Blacks' small red painted home. Though now it was more like two cottages stacked on top the other, it still held traces of Sarah Black's feminine touch. The garage looked exactly the same as my memory and I could see the smoke rising from the back yard, could hear the voices beneath the dark canopy of trees. No stars shone tonight and I moved silently through the shadows, taking care to step harder into the earth to sound more human.
"Bella!" a deep voice boomed.
I gasped as a giant figure plowed into me and threw me with him on the ground. His hair fell into his still boyish face and struggled to breathe as Seth Clearwater grinned down triumphantly over me. "Seth! Can't breath!"
A funny look passed over his face as he rolled away and stood, holding out his hand with a goofy grin. "Sorry, didn't think that was a problem anymore." He winked and pulled me up and I cast him a dirty look.
How could Seth joke about me being his natural born enemy, especially now that I was about to be thrown literally to the wolves? "Warn me next time you try to kill me, okay?" I nearly shivered at the irony of my words but Seth only chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"Sure thing sis. Come on. Food's almost ready."
As we made our way to the other side of the garage I held my breath to meet over a dozen turned faces, shadow and firelight playing about their dark features. Tension slapped me in the face at the heat and force behind their gaze, this pack in whose eyes, I had betrayed. The elders huddled together close to the fire, their faces meditative and fixed on me as though I were a puzzle they were trying to discern. Seth's grip on my shoulder tightened and he grinned, striding confidently towards the center of the fire. Soon, with the comfort of his assurance, the buzz of voices began fighting above the other again.
A small girl darted about our feet while a muscular, giant sized bear of a man chased after her. I couldn't suppress my grin. He stopped to face me the moment our eyes met; his own as chocolate as mine, and a sad grin lit his lined features as he said my name. "Bella." I gasped lightly when he wrapped his arms about my chest and lifted me off the ground into a bone-crushing hug.
"Quil!" I laughed and was surprised to feel the hitch of his own chest. Once the prankster of the pack, Quil held me slightly a distance to meet my eyes, a white grin splitting his face in two and for a moment I saw the carefree boy I had once known.
He whispered, eyes suddenly less dark than they had seemed. "Leah wasn't lying…I can hear your heart Bella."
The warmth from his gaze was enough to flood the rest of the apprehension and fear that had blocked my emotion and I smiled back.
Seth was tugging at my arm. "Alright Quil, you've hogged her long enough. She's gonna be my sister remember!"
I grinned as Quil wagged his eyebrows at me. "Still single Bella?" Seth growled and pulled me along, Claire's laughter calling after us.
My eyes fell over a score of familiar withdrawn faces. Jared and Kim were standing by the barbeque pit, the golden glint of Jared's wedding band catching in the firelight, his hand resting on Kim's rounding belly.
Embry was wrestling with two nearly identical teenaged monsters, all too large to be human, away from the chairs and pit. He laughed joyously as he struggled to fend them off at once. Quil, carrying Claire on his shoulders, managed to dart in between them and kick Embry in the ass. The momentum planted him face first into the earth and Clair laughed and clapped her hands joyously. Colin and Brady, who I now remembered to once be the youngest members of the pack, howled over Embry triumphantly. Several adults I didn't recognize shook their heads at the commotion yet shared knowing grins.
The warmth that had sprouted hope in my chest, because of Quil's embrace, spread as I looked over the pack that had once accepted me as part of their family. The Cullen's had made a home for me, but this was different. I realized then I never had to change or become anything to be apart of this family. The Quileute pack had drawn me tight into their mesh, named me a part of them while I pined after a life I was not meant to have with my Vampire family.
Turning to continue my survey I bit my lower lip, heart racing at the thought that at any moment I might see Jacob.
There was no sign of Leah or Sam, I noticed, catching Seth's worried frown trained upon the nearby black forest that same instant. I squeezed his arm still draped over me and his amber gaze flashed to mine before a bright grin claimed his firm chin. He set me down at last in an empty seat between him, Sue and to my horror, my dad and the tribal elders.
"Bella, glad you could make it." Billy's rasping voice called over to me and I met his obsidian eyes between flames. More lines adorned his face than before I realized and his long black hair shone so like Jacobs once had I held my arms instinctively over my chest.
"Thanks for inviting me," I said.
Billy's eyes held mine, reflected all the pain and sorrow and anger I knew Jacob had felt before softening. "Can you believe this girl is twenty-one, Charlie? I tell you we're getting old man!"
Charlie rolled his eyes, clutching the beer in his hands as he replied, "Speak for yourself grandpa."
My eyes must have betrayed my thoughts, a dozen scenarios of Jake and his imprint and a black haired baby in their arms, because Billy chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah," Charlie said, "you keep saying that but your time will come old man. Never thought Rachel would tie the knot, 'specially not with Paul." The elders laughed at this, and the wrenching agony fled my chest and I could breath once more. Rachel, Jake's oldest sister was married to Paul?
On cue, our faces turned back to face the Blacks' back porch as the volatile shape shifter slammed the door open against the wall. The elders turned back to their own conversation, used to Paul's emotional outbursts, but my eyes were riveted on the scene playing before me.
"-Won't pretend it's okay Rach!" he growled.
A woman who looked slightly older than Paul followed at his heels and grabbed his lean muscled arm and shouted, "Paul!" I watched Paul allow himself be turned round to face Rachel. Her russet toned hands rose to cup either side of his face. Her words were whispered low, yet I heard them carried with the wind and crackling sparks of fire. "Enough…She's going to be part of us soon enough. You have to accept that."
Paul grimaced and he flung her hands aside, throwing a very pointed, very dark glare my way. As though my presence was too insulting to him, he began to tremble. Twisting away from Rachel, Paul raced deep into the midnight woods, a howl in his wake.
I felt the heat of eyes upon me then and turned to meet Rachel's hard gaze. I was immediately shocked by the similar planes of her angular face, so like Jacob's, yet her eyes were wide, expressive like Billy's and dimly golden where Jake's remained obsidian. Before I knew it she was standing before me with a soft smile on her russet features. "Hi, I'm Rachel," she said, offering her hand and I took it. She squeezed even as a frown crossed her thick black brows. "So you're the famous Bella Swan?"
I nodded and she assessed me a moment. I could feel Seth drawing ever nearer to the tension that lay unsettled between us. I squeezed his arm and stood to face Jacob's eldest sister. "Yeah. That's me."
For a moment her eyes bore into mine, the buzz of voices fading and only wind and crackle of pine met my ears. Nodding faintly to herself she crossed her arms over her chest. "Wanna come inside? Could always use some help in the kitchen."
"Rachel…" Billy's tone was heavy and Rachel graced him with a smile.
"Don't worry Dad, I'm not going to tear her to pieces. Just want to talk." At that she turned and grinned at me and to my shock grabbed my arm and led me into the Blacks' tiny red house.
"Can you get that dish out of the oven?"
I silently obeyed as Rachel flitted about the Blacks' small kitchen. I smiled faintly to notice nearly everything remained in the last place my hands had arranged them. Once upon a time I had claimed this kitchen as much as Charlie's. The rush of memories made me sick with regret, a reminder of the ever pressing pain of the hole in my chest.
"Watch your hands!"
She was reaching for me even as I grabbed the dish with my bare hands and I grinned sheepishly at her as I moved to set it on the top of the stove. Rachel's eyes registered disbelief, then cold recognition and her eyes flickered to mine briefly before she pursed her lips and turned back to her task. I started to wonder why she bothered inviting me to help at all when her words came rushing an endless stream.
"I used to hate you, you know…" Her gold-flecked eyes burned into mine a moment before softening and she set the spoon into the chili bowl. "Jacob never spoke your name, never told us anything, but I knew it was a girl who broke him." She frowned. "You need to know he hasn't been the same since you split. I came back to check on him…and to escape." Her eyes softened once more. "I haven't always been a saint, Bella, Billy will tell you that. I broke a guys heart nearly as bad as you did Jacob. When I saw Paul again I felt it though, the connection, when he imprinted. I've never felt that way about anyone… When I found out Paul had imprinted on I had a hard time figuring out the whole truth. You know Paul."
I smiled weakly at her words, my arms wrapping instinctively around my chest.
"He doesn't hate you anymore by the way," she added, "he's just more focused on the pack, on honor and all that shit than most of the others. And the way you hurt Jacob was like hurting him. It's gonna take time… It'll take time for me to accept you, but that doesn't mean I don't like you Bella."
"Thanks," I offered and a genuine grin lit Rachel's lovely features. I hesitated a moment. "So…you and Paul?"
Rachel laughed. "Yeah, I know it's crazy. I always thought he was this sick twisted little kid when we were younger. Swore he was exactly the sort I'd never fall for. Now I'm knocked up, married and stuck on the Reservation the rest of my life and the crazy thing is, I couldn't be happier." She grinned and shrugged and I caught a glimpse of Jake in her wayward smirk. "Come on, let's call in the wolves and see if we can get those old women something to gossip about."
"Like you punching me in the face?"
Rachel grinned. "Nah, might break my fist."
Jacob didn't come. Even as the pack and elders and family gathered round the flames to listen to the tales of their ancestors, of Taha Aki and the Cold Ones. I shivered inwardly at the veiled looks old Quil Aterra sent my way, shivered as a winter wind swept over the clearing, caught the smoke in a sudden dance, scattered sparks that flashed golden against the midnight of clouded heavens.
The gray haired elder was telling a tale I remembered well and flashes of another fire, another werewolf at my side entered and fled through in a memory, that I grasped desperately at. The need to hold onto them became all the more insistent when I thought of Jacob, his eyes cold and yet burning with hatred and pain, rain so thick a wall between us he seemed miles away…
I tensed under the sudden and inexorable weight, that lay so heavily upon me, my half dead heart began to pound viciously, leaving me short of breath. It carried a presence, a force that made me want to run until I flew, until its power was broken, shaken and I was free.
My eyes turned from old Quil, to the forest resting just beyond him, to the dim firelight that just barely cast an amber sheen on the surface of the trees.
Black eyes gleamed in the surrounding darkness, reflecting against the amber firelight. The naked, russet skinned form was still and silent as the trees themselves. Even in this light I could make out the fine details of his scarred muscle bound chest. He was larger than the rest of the pack, I realized, his presence thick and heavy over his pack, his people. I wondered how the rest of them did not sense this. His eyes were trained upon mine, burning so hotly into mine I felt naked and bruised and broken he had been before me only the night before. Now he was harder, the fleeting emotions that had escaped his obsidian eyes last night were once again masked, tight and ruthless.
Tears formed in my eyes as I cowered in the weight of his silent accusations. Why I chose to remember a happier moment then, I don't know.
"No fair!" Jacob cried as he raced after me on the beach.
I had feigned innocence before stretching out my legs to run, leaving him behind at our driftwood only seconds before.
Scrawny as he was I grinned to see him running at my heels, calling after me with threats and hoarse laughter. "You're gonna…fall…on your face! Bells! Wait!"
I laughed, energy filling my limbs at the chase, thrilled to beat him, joy I had not felt since…
The moment was broken and my shoes slid over the slick sand and I was lying upon my back, my eyes staring at the blue sky, the breath knocked from my chest.
A familiar russet skinned face obstructed my vision, long black hair framing a ridiculously smug grin that was far too blinding for a normal smile. "Told you you'd fall flat on your face Bells!"
I was on my back, I wanted to say, but I couldn't keep down my grin and gripped a handful of wet sand to fling squarely into his face…
His laughter echoed in my memory, until the hole inside me began burning, pulling all life into its depths. I glanced at the flames near my feet. The fire was no comparison to the consuming heat of Jacob's eyes burning into me.
I could not look away from him any longer and lifted my red-rimmed half-vampiric eyes to meet the woods only to gasp and find the trees standing ethereally in opaque blackness. The wind still stirred along the path Jacob had fled. The clearing felt empty now, lifeless. I felt dead as I should have already been. I wrapped my arms about my chest, barely noticing Seth's warm hand upon my arm as he forced my vice grip from my bruising sides and into his.
As night drove on thunder began to crackle and rain was thick on my tongue as I breathed in the mix of pine, earth, sweet werewolf and bitter human blood. Human blood remained so intoxicating, so sweet and maddening to most Vampires that Edward had nearly taken my life for it once. Blood I knew I should desire and yet could not manage standing too close to humans I did not know, let alone desire to drain.
Beneath it all I could still smell the faint overwhelming traces of his heady scent…
Jacob, his hard yielding embrace encircling me, drawing me to him, moving over me tenderly, his mouth covering my chest with his full lips…
Sue didn't tell me what the Council's decision over my place among the tribe and presence in Forks was, that night. She had merely smiled warmly and embraced me before she left with Charlie, who was giving her a lift home. Charlie asked me not to be too late and I detected his disappointed glance at the Black's yard.
"Jake will be there." He had promised. I knew better. Charlie had not seen the menace, the haunted figure in the wood, had not felt his hatred…
The pack lingered long after everyone else left. Sam and Leah never made an appearance. I heard their names whispered nervously where Embry and Paul stood by the dying embers. I ignored the death glare Paul graced me with as I helped Kim and Rachel clean up and smiled when Seth brought the carry empty plates and dishes in.
Kim smiled shyly to me as I told her bye. Rachel shared a knowing grin with me and Seth walked me at last to my car, hands shoved in his cut off jeans pockets.
"Aren't you hot?" I nodded to the hoodie clinging to his well muscled chest and his eyes dropped to it before rising with his easy smile.
"Hell yeah, always."
I grinned as he opened my door and slid inside. Sometimes Seth reminded me so much of Jacob… He waited patiently, expectantly I realized as I turned to him once more. "Seth?" My future stepbrother's eyebrows rose, waiting. "Why didn't Jacob come tonight?"
Lips pursed, brow drawn, his amber eyes fell distant and guarded. For a moment I wondered if Seth had seen Jacob too. Finally he said, "Told Billy he had some more work to catch up on, couldn't get away in time." Though my face remained without expression I couldn't hide the suspicion behind my eyes, and Seth's hard expression eased, his smile returned. "I'm really glad you're back Bella. Nothing was the same after you left."
My heart ached, its frozen countenance thawing at Seth's warmth. I smiled and said, "Thanks Seth."
My key turned almost too swiftly, my engine purred to life, and seconds later I was watching the silhouette of Seth's tall frame through my rear view mirror. The warmth in his amber eyes was reassuring and guarded, pained…
I wondered what had happened.
Review: If you wanna. Be ready for a lot more Jacob next chapter! For all of you who have waited so patiently for his return and the end of Bella-stupidity ;)
