A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while. Life has just been, well...life. Anyway! Small announcement: since I'm way better obligational worker than self-motivated worker, I'm starting this polling system every couple of weeks (my plan right now is every three weeks). So basically, whatever is voted on will get updated/created within three weeks (which I'm sure everyone will agree is way better than my current every now and then schedule). I'll be posting the poll and all information associated on my tumblr, which is linked in my profile.
Ok enough of my ranting. Here's the chapter!
This must be another fairy tale
I can't breathe because I'm on my own
I put this knife into a picture frame
I guess it's me, the only one to blame
This must be another fairy tale
I am falling and I'm out of control
City lights will never be the same
But tonight there is a silver moon
Coming down from the lonely roofs
And she's sparkling in the silver seas
Coming down in my lonely dreams
-Donkeyboy
~16 August 1999~
Draco awoke with the warmth of the sun against his skin and a groan in the back of his throat. His head throbbed as his eyes fluttered open. He found himself in a bed that wasn't his own, cotton sheets clinging his his sweat-soaked torso and sunlight pouring through a large window framed by the tackiest curtains he'd ever seen.
Grimmauld Place. He was at Grimmauld Place.
Grimacing, Draco pushed himself up, wishing he knew where his wand was so that he could at least put the tacky curtains to good use. It was far too bright in here. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head back against the headboard and tried to calm the thundering pulse inside of his skull. Merlin, he felt like he'd just been raked over a pit of burning coals.
"Draco?"
The sound of Harry's voice was like a wave crashing over him. His skin prickled, every inch of him now hyperaware of the other presence in the room. He opened his eyes and saw Harry standing in the doorway, holding a tray of steaming food.
"Breakfast in bed?" Draco threw him what he hoped was a cavalier smile. "Darling, you shouldn't have."
Harry's jaw tightened, but otherwise his expression didn't change. He walked forward stiffly, as if he was approaching an animal he thought might be feral. Draco watched dispassionately as he set the tray of food down next to him.
Fried eggs, bacon and pancakes were piled high on a plate, dressed with seasonings and syrup. It looked exquisite. Draco took one sniff of it and turned away, fearing he might be sick.
"Not hungry?" Harry asked.
That was an understatement. The mere idea of food had Draco's stomach threatening to empty itself. He shook his head, hoping that would convey the message.
Sighing, Harry moved the tray to the bedside table. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands folded together in his lap. Deep rings of blue stained the skin beneath his eyes and there was a peculiar pull at the corners of his mouth. He looked frayed around the edges.
Draco reached out for him, not missing the way Harry hesitated before accepting the contact. "I'm sorry about the food," Draco said, nearly wincing at how pathetic he sounded. He knew that Harry wasn't upset about the food, but he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know how to start the conversation that loomed overhead.
He closed his eyes as the room gave another threatening lurch. The sight of his body lying in an open coffin met him like a slap.
Make no mistake, you will die, but what happens to Harry afterwards will be a curse of your own making if you continue to push me.
"Draco..."
Draco's eyes opened.
"Where were you?" Harry asked, so softly and so desperately that the words seemed to break as they hit open air.
The memory continued to play in Draco's head. Harry hunched over a table overflowing with flowers. Harry pressing him up against a wall, telling him that he was dreaming — that he had been gone for a week.
A week.
He still had no way of knowing where the demon had taken him. Or when. Whether it had been a mere hallucination or something more.
The demon's laughter echoed in the back of his mind, cold and chilling. Draco shuddered as the sound broke across his skin and made his hairs stand on end.
Oh and I'd make it slow. I'd take my time.
"I don't know," Draco said.
Harry's face crumpled. "You mean you don't remember?"
"I remember being at the manor, waiting for you. I was…in the library." Draco tried to banish the demon's voice from his mind, but it was insistent. It blurred every other thought. I'd drag him to some dark, uncharted place on the edge of the earth, and tear him apart piece by piece. "And then…I'm not quite sure."
"You're not quite sure?"
I'd peel the flesh from his bones and feast on his blood.
"How long was I gone?" Draco asked.
The green of Harry's eyes was like a field in early spring. Sunlight hit them with a wanton brilliance, shaming every other color in the room. "You were gone for a week, Draco. A week, while I was here…" He trailed off, shaking his head and carding a hand through his hair.
A week. Just like he'd said in the dream.
I'd shave his bones into paper thin strips and shove them down his throat.
"And then, last night," Harry continued, "I had this dream. I was in this church or something, and you were there…and — I don't know — something about you just felt so real. And Ginny was there too, and she said you were dead and I thought — Merlin, I thought…"
If only he knew. If only he'd seen that open coffin.
Harry wrapped Draco's hand inside of his own, his brows drawing together. "We said no more secrets, didn't we?"
"Harry…"
"I know about the opium, Draco."
Draco's stomach flipped. Somehow he hadn't expected that.
"So if that's where you've been," Harry continued, his hand giving a painfully tight squeeze, "then you need to tell me about it."
"If that's where I've—" Draco floundered, his eyes going wide. "Seriously? You think I went off to get high?"
Harry stared at him, his features unmoving despite the red that was blooming across his cheeks. "I don't know, but obviously something is going on. Pansy said that you—"
"Pansy? When did you talk to Pansy?"
A myriad of emotions flickered across Harry's face, but they passed too quickly for Draco to process. His features finally settled on something hard, bordering on anger. "Of course I went to see her. You were missing."
"She loved that, I'm sure," Draco scoffed, kicking out uselessly under the sheets. "You shouldn't have gone to see her. She has a knack for butting in where she's not welcome."
"She said that she tried to help you."
"She probably said a lot of things." Loose-lipped little harpy that she was. He'd been too open with her over the last year, and he had no doubt that she'd divulged every little detail the moment Potter had showed up. She'd always tried to mother him. She'd always tried to make herself look like the one with something to lose. She'd always—
"Draco, she saved your life!"
"Well maybe I didn't want to be saved!" Draco's eyes went wide at the fury that had just burst out of him. He hadn't meant to let it escape. He swallowed, his throat aching from the size of the lump that had lodged itself there. "I just mean...I never asked her to. It wasn't her business. She shouldn't have intervened."
Harry was quiet for a long time, his jaw working as he chewed on whatever thoughts were going through his mind. His magic coiled around him like a poked rattlesnake, hissing and vibrating with a venomous warning.
Draco held himself perfectly still, not wanting to disturb the volatile tension that surrounded them. "Harry…"
Harry's eyes were as sharp as broken sea glass.
"You know that I'm not…I mean, you know that I didn't want…" Draco chewed on his bottom lip, his nerves buzzing just under his skin.
He knew what Harry was thinking, and truthfully, the idea of it wasn't without merit. Considering the state that Draco had been in all last year, it was understandable that he could still be perceived as a danger to himself. He knew exactly what the circumstances looked like. But perhaps that was a notion that shouldn't be corrected. Perhaps it would be best to avoid making the same mistake with Harry that he had with Pansy.
I'd break him apart and put him back together again just so I could keep listening to the sounds of his screams.
Knowing Harry, he wouldn't hesitate to seek out dangerous answers to dangerous questions. And whatever powers this demon happened to possess…if the pair of them weren't strong enough to stop him…
The summoning spell was never supposed to work anyway. For all intents and purposes, Draco was living on borrowed time. What reason did he really have to complain about that? What reason did he have to try and change what was already done? Trying to reverse an irreversible spell was exactly what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.
So maybe he could tell this one lie. Just one more. To spare them both.
Draco drew in a deep breath, pulling in so much air his chest hurt. "You were right."
For a moment, the anger in Harry's features cracked. "What?"
"About the drugs. I…I started taking opium because—well…" He gestured vaguely. "I thought I had it under control, but over the months I started to spiral. The stuff has been…messing with my head."
Draco paused, letting the bait hang in the silence between them.
Harry's brows came together as his body turned and opened towards Draco. The bed creaked as the Gryffindor shifted on it, bringing on leg up onto the mattress and tucking it beneath him. "Meaning what?"
It was almost painful how trusting Harry was. This was all he wanted; to be confided in.
The lie was like a weight on Draco's tongue, and he wasn't sure he had the strength to lift it. Why couldn't the truth ever be the easier option? "I think that the opium has been making me delusional. And I think it's making me see things that don't exist." He lowered his gaze. He couldn't bear looking at the trust in Harry's eyes one moment longer. "Like demons."
"Demons? Like the one you told me about? The one you made a deal with?"
Draco nodded. "There was no demon. Demons don't even exist." Which, according to every book he'd read was absolutely true. "There was no—why the bloody hell are you crying?"
Harry was staring at him, unabashed tears spilling over his cheeks. Quick as a viper, he sprang forward and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. The weight of him was solid and warm. "Because you're here and you're safe. I was so worried. You can't imagine how worried I was."
Draco wasn't sure whether Harry was laughing or sobbing. He could feel more tears falling against his collarbone as the other boy's body trembled against him. Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him close. He buried his face into raven curls and inhaled. Harry smelled just like he always had—like wind and citrus—but there was something different about his scent too. A new layer had been added. Firewhiskey.
Guilt sank its fangs into Draco's heart and tore. "I'm sorry that I worried you."
Harry pushed himself up to look down at him. The idiot was actually smiling. "I'm sure I'll be more upset at you once I stop being so happy that you're back."
Draco wanted to laugh but found that he couldn't. He settled for a familiar smirk. "What did you do while I was gone?"
Harry's face fell. "Me?"
"You."
"I—I was…" Harry pulled back further, his smile failing. "Well, I've been a bit of a mess to be honest."
A snide retort made it to the tip of Draco's tongue before he managed to bite it back. It was a hard thing: breaking himself out of the role of the rival. He swallowed down the words and traded them for a soft, "Yeah?"
Harry nodded, having the humility to flush. "I guess we both were."
Again, Draco swallowed. He raised his hands and ran them over Harry's cheeks, wiping away the tears that had stained them. His skin was so soft—so warm—like he had a small sun living inside of him. "But we can fix it, right?"
Harry covered Draco's hand with his own, turning his head to press a kiss into his palm. "Of course."
Draco couldn't help but smile.
"I'm beginning to think that there isn't a force strong enough to keep us apart," Harry said, closing his eyes and nuzzling Draco's wrist. His breath was light and feather soft. "No matter what happens, we just seem to keep making our way back here."
