SO, this one might be a little graphic. This is a request from Kallizakat who asked for me to go into further detail about Dean's abuse at the hands of Harold, his foster father. It's a little late, but this is hard for me to write because I hate the fact that this does happen. I despise people who do this. Monsters might not be real, but no one ever said that humans can't be monsters. Here you go, honey, sorry it's been a while since you asked for it.

WARNINGS FOR RAPE/NON-CON nothing explicit, but it's there.

Dean is seventeen; flashback- fifteen/sixteen


It was dark, and he knew that his father had been right to teach him to be scared of the dark.

He had only been wrong about the monsters. He wasn't scared of any vampires of werewolves because they weren't real.

No, the monsters were human, at least to some degree.

He kept these thoughts to himself, of course. He heard his door open and stayed absolutely still. He heard the footsteps, slow and heavy, coming closer to his bed. He had learned not to flinch as he felt his pants and boxers be pulled off and discarded upon the floor. He didn't cry out as he heard a belt being unbuckled. He didn't make a sound as his bed groaned from the extra weight. He never even whimpered as hands rubbed all over him. He was as still as a stone as those hands grabbed and scratched and caressed him. He let himself be flipped over and took everything the figure threw at him. He nearly cried out as the scruffy face rubbed against his collarbone, sucking at his skin, but he caught himself just in time.

When the figure had had his fill, he left the room. The room's occupant allowed a few tears to slip out and slide down his face, but no more than a few. He couldn't allow himself to let go completely.

And then, a few minutes later, Sammy screamed.


Dean jumped up and threw the covers off. He stumbled out of bed and staggered down the hall like a drunk until he reached the bathroom, where he proceeded to empty his stomach. After he finished, he stood and lurched to Sam's room. The thirteen year old was sleeping peacefully, oblivious to his brother's panic and fear. Dean closed the door and fell back against the wall opposite of the doorway. He sank down until he was sitting with his arms resting on his knees and his head on his arms. Not being able to stop himself, he burst into tears. He faintly registered someone putting their arms around him and scrambled away in a panic. He recognized J.J. and the tears started flowing with a vengeance.

"I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry," he choked out. She again moved next to him, but, as soon as she touched his shoulder, he flinched.

"It's okay, sweetheart, everything's okay." Dean shook his head, but leaned against her, seeking comfort and assurance and something real.

"Nightmare?" she asked. He shook his head.

"What then?"

"Memory," he sobbed, folding in on himself a little more. She was silent and held him for the rest of the night.


She heard soft footsteps at around six or seven and looked up to see Will looking at her with concern sparkling in his eyes. He kneeled down next to her and whispered so as to not wake Dean. The young man looked as though he hadn't slept all night; he had dark circles under his eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "Dean just had a rough night."

"He okay now?"

"I honestly don't know." She shook her head and sighed.

"He's been fine for a while now," Will said.

"I know," she sighed again, "he said it was a memory."

"Must've been a real bad one then."

"I don't know if he'll talk about this one."

"Nothing you can do about that." Will kissed her cheek and headed down to make breakfast. When Dean woke up, he brushed the event off, but she could see the hollow fear in his eyes.


Morgan knocked, even though he had a key, out of courtesy. Dean opened the door and, after a second, let Morgan in.

"What's up?" Dean asked.

"J.J.'s worried about you. You haven't been sleeping, you haven't been eating right, and you go a few days here and there without saying a word. Dean, something is wrong and she's worried. And she isn't the only one. You've gotta talk to someone. She said this all started after a nightmare."

"I'm fine," Dean snorted, plopping himself down on the couch.

"It's been two months since that first nightmare. That nightmare made you stop eating and sleeping right. I can see from here that you're down about twenty pounds. Dean, you gotta talk to someone about this."

"You don't wanna know."

"I do, Dean, I want to know what happened." Morgan watched as Dean's walls collapsed around him and tears welled up in the seventeen year old's eyes.

"I kept Sammy safe," Dean whispered. "I did." Morgan heard the desperation in his voice, like he needed Morgan to believe it.

"You always do." Dean nodded absentmindedly.

"I...I…I can't," Dean said. He ducked his head and fisted his shaking hands.

"Dean, whatever it is, you can tell me," Morgan said.

"I can't," Dean sobbed, "you won't understand."

"I think I can understand more than you think." Morgan sat down beside Dean.

"When I was a kid, someone I trusted, someone I cared about, hurt me. He messed me up and I wasn't the only one. He went to jail for what he did because another kid who was stronger than me stood up to him."

"Did you know what he was doing?" Dean asked quietly, not looking up.

"Not at first, I did later."

"I knew what he was doing," Dean admitted, "But if I'd fought back, he would have gone to Sammy." Dean's voice was just above a whisper.

"I let him strip me and I let him use me and I…I let him take everything, and it still wasn't good enough for him." Dean let out a strangled sob and held himself tight. Morgan saw his fingernails digging into his biceps.

"He made me…he made me do it back to him." Morgan wished he could take Dean's pain away, but he couldn't. This kid had been through hell his entire life, but hadn't told anyone about a major part of it.

"Dean, it's gonna be okay. You're stronger than him.

"I can't stop seeing it, reliving it. He does what he wants with me and then Sam screams and I can't protect him cause there's nothing left inside of me." the tears are openly streaming down Dean's face and he seems broken inside, or, at least, that's what his eyes are saying. Morgan lets Dean work through it because he knows it can only get better from here. When Dean's reduced his sobs to sniffles, Morgan got two bottles of beer from the fridge and handed one to Dean. Dean looked at it for a second before taking it. Morgan turned on the TV and found a Lethal Weapon marathon. After a couple of hours, both beers are gone and Dean's eyes are drooping. Morgan put his arm around the young man's shoulders as Dean started listing to the side. When J.J. got home and found them. Morgan mouthed that he'd tell her later. Together, the two of them got Dean up to his room, where J.J. proceeded to pull a blanket over her eldest and kissed his forehead.


The next morning, when Dean stumbled into the kitchen rubbing sleep out of his eyes, J.J. didn't say anything about what Morgan had told her. She handed him a cup of coffee, black, and smiled as he clung to it like a squirrel to an acorn.

"Good morning," she said.

"No such thing," he grunted. She reached over and pushed his soft hair off of his forehead and smiled as he leaned into the touch. He sighed and looked away.

"Morgan told you what happened." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I told him what was going on and he said that he did the same thing after it was over for him," she said softly.

"I figured he'd tell you."

"Does Sam know?"

"No!" Dean said emphatically. "He can't know. He knew the bastard hit me, but he can't know that he…h-he raped me." Dean was begging J.J. and she just couldn't go against him on this one.

"Okay, I won't tell him," she promised. Dean nodded and, looking like he was three words from tears, leaned against the counter and nursed his coffee.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that right?"

"Yeah," he said, a corner of his mouth lifting.

"Just checking." She kissed his cheek and went into the living room. He stared after her for a minute before shaking his head and chuckling to himself.

Moms are weird, he thought.


Fin

As always, I NEED PROMPTS. I have one more chapter written, and I really love it, and one more started, but that's a later in life one so I'd like to get a few more from this age period before I go to that one.

Please review, it makes my day and I work so hard on these and I have two jobs and school is starting in the fall and I'm super freaked out and I need some support guys. It takes like two seconds and if you leave an idea, I'll probably try to use it, unless I've already used it or can't figure out how to use it.

Up next, Dean makes a new friend!