I have updated.

FINALLY.

I am SO sorry for the wait everyone, but thank you for being so patient and still reviewing. You guys are the best, and I will make sure to update quickly, like I have before.

oh and

I DO WHAT I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


The glass door slid open as I stepped in to the makeshift lab. All kinds of gadgets littered the tables, and there were large blue prints spread across the floor. I tiptoed around them as I made my way inside.

Tony turned around from where he was standing. "Hey." He took his eyes off from the monitor that was behind him. It was covered with numbers and graphs and had a large scale diagram of the Tesseract. He wore dark blue jeans and a faded Motörhead shirt.

Bruce briefly looked up from his work at the sound, and nodded in my direction. "Hi." He pushed his round wire-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose and continued on with what he was doing.

"Hey yourselves." I greeted back as I sat on a stool next to Tony. I gravitated toward him more so than the doctor. Tony was one of the people I had been able to talk to the most here at S.H.I.E.L.D. Our attitudes and love of certain 80s music had brought us together. Bruce on the other hand...I barely ever heard the guy talk. I was lucky if I even got to see him, and if I did, he was always hiding in the corner of the room. Apparently, the last time he had been called into S.H.I.E.L.D, Bruce was only supposed to do research. Now, he was part of the team. Whether he, or the Hulk, liked it or not. Tony pressed a few buttons on the screen and I watched the silent doctor continue his work. He had such drive and focus. I couldn't see how Bruce could ever lose control and act out.

"Well thanks for stopping by, Elvira. Nice of you to visit every once in a while." Tony called as he zipped around the room, trying to find a misplaced part.

I tsked at the nickname Tony had so affectionately given me. "Just because I have black hair and pale skin..." He dropped under a desk and picked up a severed piece of metal.

"I call you Elvira because you're actually a vampire. You're trying to fool us, but I know." Tony said as he popped his head up. He connected the piece to whatever Bruce was working on and started playing with the wires.

"Do you sleep with a stake underneath your pillow?"

"You're damn right I do."

"Well, I'm flattered."

"Flattered I have the means to kill you whenever I have the chance?"

"Flattered you're scared of
me. And it's nice to know that deep down in that suit of armor, you're really just a big, scared ball of mush."

Tony looked up and gave me the eye, while I just smiled sweetly. He tossed me a pair of wires.

"Put these on, spawn." The ends of the wires had tiny circular pads on them. I raised an eyebrow at him, but before I could ask him where, Bruce silently sat down next to me and started placing a few on my arm.

"This is going to locate the Tesseract's energy in your body." Bruce explained as he attached to wires to my forehead. "Once we get a good reading on it, we'll use it to track down where the Cube is located."

I was about to nod, but stopped myself once I realized I had the wires on my head. I replied with a soft "Hm." He Bruce casually walked over to one of the large monitors and began fiddling with the screen. Tony came over and double checked that the wires on me and the tracker were all correctly in place before he bailed.

"Alright kids you have fun, don't get in to too much trouble."

What? Tony was...leaving? But he couldn't. I glanced nervously at the quirky doctor. Bruce had hardly ever said one word to me. What were we going to talk about know that Tony was going? I shot him a helpless look, but he was busy texting.

"Where are you going?" I asked casually, trying to keep my tone indifferent. Tony pocketed his phone and rolled up his sleeves. "Got a date with Capt in the training room. Want to try out a few new additions to the suit. I'll come check on the tracker in an hour." he pointed to Bruce about the last part. Bruce nodded without taking his eyes off the screen. I meekly waved good-bye as Tony strode out.

The seconds ticked by.

The minutes went slowly.

And any hope of a conversation seemed to have left when Tony did.

I opened my mouth to speak, but shut it immediately. Bruce probably didn't want to waste his time with me. I peeked at him through the corner of my eye. He kept his eyes fixated on the screen. I stared down in my lap.

"You don't have to be scared."

I quickly looked up. Bruce was looking down with a cynical sort of smile on his face. When he made eye contact, he wore the same expression but his tone was soft.

"The other guy isn't coming out anytime soon."

My heart dropped. The only sound came from the beeping of the tracker.

"I'm not afraid of you." I replied.

Bruce chortled. "I've heard that one before. But seriously, it's going to be alright. He's under control." The air painfully rang of the unspoken words for now.

The tracker loudly beeped one final time and Bruce came over and undid the pads and wires. My mouth hung open and my ears grew warm.

"Bruce, I'm honestly not afraid of you." The Hulk was one thing. Him I was a bit afraid of him. But I wasn't talking to the Hulk right now. This was Bruce. He didn't respond as he slowly pulled the wires off one by one.

"Hey."

I softly cupped his chin and looked into his eyes.

"I mean that.

"You're as much a part of the team as everyone else. Stop hating yourself for who you are."

He stared, and then turned away. He gathered the wires and placed in on the table before returning back to the monitor.

I took it as my cue to leave. After sitting uncomfortably in my seat, I silently rose and made my way for the door. I took slow steps, hoping that Bruce wasn't thinking I was trying to rush out of here.

"Thank you."

I turned around, but Bruce kept his back to me. I grinned, I couldn't help it.

The glass doors shut behind me, and I watched Bruce's lean figure hunch over the computer screen. I wonder if he had hoped I would say anything back. I slid my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. Barely 8. Plenty of time to go start some mischief before I passed out. I practically skipped to Loki's room, the feeling of making Bruce feel a little less lonely boosted my spirits. I rapped on the door loudly.

"Enter."

I opened the door wide and stepped in. Loki turned around and the corner of his mouth twitched upward.

"You look tired."

I shut the door behind me. "Nice to see you too. You look different."

Very different. His hair looked subtly shorter and he looked...better. But that wasn't all. Loki's traditional Asgaridan outfit was laid out neatly on the bed, and he was wearing a pair of black pants and a tight, crisp blue button-down shirt. I felt my cheeks flush. I hadn't seen him in an outfit like this in a long time. An undone tie hung lazily around his neck.

"I thought it would be best to once again try to adhere to your Midgaridan ways. It is much easier to assimilate than to stand out. But I am still having trouble with some of your...customs." He helplessly stared at the ends of the tie. I smirked and sauntered over, gently taking the tie in my hands. Here I was, teaching a god how to tie a tie.

"Like this." I instructed softly. My hands worked slowly but precisely so Loki could see. But I was aware that Loki wasn't watching my hands. I looked up, and saw his bright blue eyes connect with mine. I quickly brought my eyes back to the task at hand, and gently tightened the tie.

"All done."

But my hands didn't leave his neck. Our gaze met again. Did you ever see someone so beautiful, that it actually hurt to look at them? That was Loki. It hurt so bad because he could never be mine.

Or, could he?

I pressed my back against the wall and pulled him closer. His eyes went wide as my hands started exploring his chest. I wanted so desperately to pull off his shirt and feel his skin. My hands dropped to his belt line, and my fingers slid underneath his shirt and lightly traced his skin.

"Evelyn..." he said warningly, grabbing my hand and pushing it away. But that didn't stop me. I ran my hands higher up underneath his shirt, feeling a soft patch of hair on his chest. My fingers lightly scratched his skin as they descended down, and I heard his breathing hitch. Using the distraction to my advantage, I brought my lips to his neck and started giving him very soft kisses. At first he pulled away. But my hands stayed placed on his hips and I pulled him toward me once more. I continued kissing his neck for a few more blissful seconds.

Loki's hand reached up and touched my hair. I thought it was a gesture of affection, but he pulled at it and pushed me away from him. My back hit the wall with a soft thud.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked. He almost sounded angry.

"Kissing you, what does it look like I'm doing?" I snapped. What was the matter with him? Why didn't he want this?

He stepped back, furthering the space between us. His voice was distant and cold, and his face read just the same. "You do not think your actions through. You are still just a child."

This was the last thing I had expected. Granted, I hadn't really thought this through. But I didn't think the rejection would be this horrible.

"Well I'm sorry for offending you, or for whatever the hell I just did," I retorted, hoping the sarcasm in my voice would mask the hurt. "I didn't realize how adamantly you felt about this."

"Did I not make this clear three years ago?" he asked, his voice calm and cool.

The comment cut through me like a knife, and I felt the room fade away. So, that was how he really felt then? Any emotions he had...it was all in my mind. My heart sank, and my face fell, betraying me of my true state.

"Evelyn." I heard Loki call from far away.

I turned around and made my way to the door.

"Evelyn." he grabbed my hand and turned me around, forcing us face to face. His tone had softened, and his face changed.

"You misunderstand me."

"Oh, there is nothing to misunderstand."

He pushed me again the door and grabbed my chin in his other hand, preventing me from looking away.
"But you do. You do not think about what you are doing, and what consequences your actions will bring. I..."

"Why did you kiss me back?" I interrupted quietly.

Loki and I locked eyes for what felt like an eternity. He dropped the hand that was holding me against the door. With the other, he slowly traced my jaw line, up my chin, to my lips. I took a deep breath.

"I don't know."

That wasn't the answer I was looking for. I pushed his hand away.

"Listen. There are a ton of reasons why I shouldn't know to you, let alone be friends you. Everyone who's ever known about us has advised me not go anywhere near you. But I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of listening to the logic. And that's what you're doing."

I poked the side of his head. "You think I'm being rash, and you think this can't happen." He looked at me, confused. I then prodded his chest, right above his heart. "I want to know what this wants. Because I'm done thinking about it. All I'm acting on his feeling. So what does this," I poked his chest again, "what does this want?"

My words came out strong, but my insides were shaking. Loki's eyes looked me over, and I felt his hand lightly brush my face. My heart was pounding so loudly I was scared Loki could hear it. Not a word was said in the brief moment.

But I thought...I thought I saw something in Loki that made it seem like he really did want this too. Whatever this was or could be.
Hesitantly, I leaned my face in closer to his. I waited for him to do the same.

And waited.

And waited.

But he didn't.

The only thing greater than my disappointment was the humiliation. I had practically just thrown myself at him, and there he stood, not saying a word. It was just as bad as if he had laughed at me. After all this time, I thought there had been some sort of feeling there. Maybe he denied it, but he knew it was there. But this...he didn't even have the courtesy to say it.

Should I have expected anything less?

When I turned around I felt Loki's hand on my shoulder, but I shoved it off. I slammed the door behind me, more angry and hurt that Loki would not come after me. I practically ran to my room, making sure to stay away from any roaming eyes or gossiping mouths. When I entered my room, I slammed the door shut and laid on the bed. But I did not go to sleep until much later that night.