RETURNING

Chapter 12: "Decisions That Are Hard to Take"

Rhett Butler lived the following days in a state of false security after his conversation with Scarlett concerning his definite living arrangements or his travel plans, to the contrary. Deluded because Scarlett seemed to have dropped the uncomfortable subject, accepting things as they ran now, it came as a surprise to him when Scarlett, suddenly (or so it seemed to him) brought up the matter again a few days later. He should have known better than this, he berated himself. Once a thought entered that stubborn little mind of hers, Scarlett wouldn't let it droop. Knowing Scarlett as he did, he didn't know how he could have taken for granted that her several-day silence meant her claiming defeat. Certainly the new Scarlett he was learning to know now was a vast improvement over the old Scarlett, but so radical a change was asking for too much.

The fault was all Ella's, Rhett thought with a certain resentment against Scarlett's daughter. Not the brightest of creatures, now Rhett began to understand a bit why Scarlett was always so frustrated with the little girl. If Ella hadn't mentioned if Uncle Rhett would still be around for Mother's birthday, maybe Scarlett would not have touched the subject for a few more days of respite. Yes, the ginger-haired girl could sometimes get at your nerves, even if not intentionally, Scarlett was certainly right about it. But, then, why at the same time did he have the nagging suspicion that Ella's innocent question might have been not so innocent at all? To be honest, he wouldn't put it past his lovely wife to tell Ella to make him that question.

Anyway, one way or another, be it at Scarlett's instigation or caused by Ella's childish innocence, the thing was that the topic had been raised and Scarlett wouldn't drop it so easily as she had previously done. Rhett saw with dismay how the door closed after Wade and Ella, leaving him and Scarlett alone to face the music.

Scarlett stared at Rhett intently, knowing that there was no need for her to echo Ella's question. Why saying it aloud when the question already laid heavily on the minds of both?

'Scarlett, don't ask me for an answer I am not ready to give you,' he tried to avert Scarlett's gaze, moving uncomfortably in his chair.

'I am not asking anymore, Rhett, I am demanding an answer,' she stated, startling him with her forward manner.

'Don't try and coerce me, Scarlett,' he warned.

'This is not a threat but we have to know for sure, Rhett. I don't want you to take us for granted and come and go as you please. If you're going to stay and we are going to start anew, you have to decide it, Rhett. We cannot be postponing it any longer,' she insisted.

Rhett went to pour himself a generous amount of whisky.

'I don't like the idea of being trapped,' he admitted.

'I am not talking about locking you up and throwing the key, for God's sake, Rhett. You are not a prisoner of mine, of course, you can go visit your mother in Charleston or whatever trip you need to make, but we need to know we're going to be a family again and that you will be back. I cannot go on like this any more,' she declared.

Scarlett bit her lip and thought of the little secret she had already began harboring for a couple of days, the secret that would change everything, making whatever decision on the part of Rhett's superfluous. She was perfectly aware of what his reaction would be once he knew, regardless of his having previously declared his intention of going or staying but because that much was not in her power to change, she needed to know that Rhett did want to stay, in spite of his fears of more arguments or the rocky road ahead of them. If he chose to stay, if he proved to her that he truly wanted to be her husband, not only in name, it would make a world of difference to her – even if the final result, to the rest of the world, was just the same. If he on his own (although with a little bit of pressure on her part for him to make up his mind as soon as possible), came to the resolve to stay, the baby would be a welcome bonus. If he chose to leave, then she would be forced to confess to him his future paternity and he would stay all the same – but she would not be able to forget, in her heart of hearts, that he didn't love her enough and had been all too ready to abandon her, always fearing that, should the baby be less than perfect or may something bad happen to the little one, Rhett would be gone and for good this time. No, she would not be able to live that way. Because of that, she had to know. She couldn't risk declaring her love for Rhett only to find out he was here out of duty or a certain sense of responsibility. That wouldn't do for her, even if it meant that Rhett stayed in Atlanta all the same.

'Can't we leave the topic alone for tonight, Scarlett?' Rhett asked tiredly.

Scarlett noticed that Rhett's tiredness was not feigned but genuine. The years of dangerously living were at last taking their toll on him and Scarlett had realized as of recently how old and word out Rhett really was. Although he tried his best to conceal it from her and the children and would have surely gotten mad had he seen that Scarlett knew, getting up from the floor after having been playing with Wade and Ella was not so easy for him as it used to, Scarlett had noted. He also went to bed earlier and no longer was the man full of energy who was constantly busy that Scarlett remembered of the war days. Gone were those days and this Rhett was not so energetic or vivacious.

'It's ok, Rhett,' Scarlett conceded graciously. 'We don't need to take any rash decision tonight,' she was generous.

She didn't want to scare Rhett off or make him leave her if he feared she was going to be playing the part of the nagging old wife from now onwards.

'Why don't we call it a day, Scarlett?' Rhett suggested.

He smiled. Peace, at least for the time being, had been restored.

Scarlett smiled back. For today it was fine, but tomorrow would be another day, and, hopefully, if things were as she expected, one in which she would extract from the mighty Rhett Butler a promise to stay with her forever.

Rhett knew, as he sat down on their bed with a sinking heart, that a decision on his part had to be reached and soon enough. He loved Scarlett, oh, how much did he love her. Stubborn, proud Scarlett, his heart was entirely hers, even if she was totally unaware of this circumstance, just as he preferred it.

For the time being, until he could make up his mind, he preferred to keep her guessing, hoping, expecting a love declaration from him… He knew with as much certainty that he loved her that she loved him to distraction. She had restrained her tongue and not told him again since her pitiful and desperate confession the night he left but he could tell that there were times when she was dying to speak her mind. She hadn't uttered a word but her eyes, when he caught her when she believed to be unobserved, said all he had longed to hear from her lips for so many long years… What the hell, he still longed to hear her say it, but he could not give her the satisfaction to say it first. He loved her and he would tell her as much when she told him she loved him, as she would do with almost all probably when he announced to her that he planned to stay forever.

When he announced to her that he planned to stay forever, when was the operative word. It was not if he announced to her that he planned to stay forever, but when. There, he had already done it, without even taking a deliberate decision, he had unconsciously decided that he was staying. Yes, he would stay. He couldn't leave Scarlett when things were going that well between them. Never leave when you are winning, he told himself. Therefore, he could not just leave now. Scarlett needed him. No, that was not really the issue because Scarlett didn't really need him at all and that was not the main reason for him to stay. If he was to stay, it was because Scarlett loved him and he loved her back. No more excuses, no more pretences, no more idiotic explanations – he loved Scarlett and she loved him. Only for that was he going to stay.

~TO BE CONTINUED~

So, guys, this story is almost coming to an end. One or two more chapters, at the very most. I hate to finish it but it's about time that these two get a well-deserved happy ending. Also, don't worry, I am also beginning to think about another fan fiction story.