Planning for some time together

Wishing to own just ONE of these characters... but my flying pig doesn't know the way to the bank

Penny looked up at Sheldon with glistening eyes and sighed. Something just wasn't right. "Sheldon… maybe you could scooch down a bit…"

Sheldon rolled his eyes as Penny reached for yet another wad of tissues. "I'm sorry… this just won't do". He then removed his arm from around Penny's shoulder and stood up from his spot.

Penny was somewhat unceremoniously left to flop onto Sheldon's spot. She blew her nose and tossed the tissues onto the table with all the other tissues. "Hey…. We're supposed to be bonding here…"

Sheldon watched the tossing of the most recent wad of tissues land on the pile of others on the coffee table slightly off center and sending a number of tissues onto the floor. "Ohh…DEAR….LORD…" He then raced into the bathroom and came out with a surgical mask, latex gloves, disinfectant spray and a dust pan and broom.

Penny looked at him in disbelief. "Sheldon… it's just some tears…."

Sheldon's eyes went wide behind the surgical mask. "I beg to differ…. You blew your nose on more than one occasion and then just haphazardly tossed the offending tissues onto the coffee table… where… I might add… is where we EAT our dinner…"

Penny sat up. "SO?" She rubbed her neck a little. She clearly wasn't used to the different cuddling position she had to endure because of Sheldon's height.

Sheldon was in complete disbelief. "So? SO? SOoooo… there may be a virulent strain of bacteria strewn about on the table where I place my food before eating it…. There is going to have to be another modification to the roommate agreement on how to deal with proper disinfection practices rather than just tossing bio-hazardous waste around the apartment."

Penny smirked as Sheldon's eyes flashed from his Spot to the coffee table to the floor and then back to Penny. "Just put it on my desk with the others… although… I might add… you wouldn't have this problem if you just kept the dining room table that Leonard had bought. You know… the one you insisted he return?"

Sheldon did not answer. He simply went to stand in front of his spot and started spraying disinfectant. "While your point of the table is well taken, the fact IS that you have rather willy nilly spread germ infested tissues across the living room". Sheldon continued to spray disinfectant around the coffee table as he picked up the tissues and placed them in a bio-hazard labeled bag strapped to his belt.

Penny had about enough of this particular little show. "Sheldon… I am NOT sick… the tissues do not have any germs in them."

Sheldon harrumphed. "It is just like you to disregard the fact that even the most innocent or casual intimate contact with you can carry dire circumstances. Need I remind you that if it wasn't for you… I would have been able to go with Leonard to see the Cern Supercollider… and let's not forget the pestilence that you brought back from your trip to Nebraska… and then there are the untold number of times I have had to endure putting on my bus pants when Leonard calls in sick for a day after spending the night in your apartment… Face it Penny… you are a carrier. Your germs hide in waiting for the next suitable victim". Sheldon then started to spray yet again.

The offending cloud of disinfectant spray caused Penny to move away and cough. "That's quite enough of that Sheldon… People sneeze and cough all the time…. if you are ever going to enter into a lasting relationship, you are going to have to accept the fact that the world is a dangerous place. Besides… Leonard spends a lot of time with me and he doesn't seem to be any worse for ware, and we are not at all in the classification of innocent OR casual intimacy…" Penny smiled remembering the times Leonard had told Sheldon he was calling in sick after spending the night with her just to catch up on the sleep they had not gotten the night before. "You are going to have to get over this little germophobia of yours if you plan on getting into a relationship. There isn't a woman out there… Amy included… that won't want a physical relationship. That means getting down and getting dirty…. Exchanging all kinds of bodily fluids…"

Sheldon stood perfectly still. "The fact that you are a carrier of germs is well established. The fact that Leonard is not affected only illuminates the fact that over time… he has built up an immunity to your ill effects. Your relationship with him is not unlike a bacterial infection that you have been diagnosed with and have been given a full course of antibiotics to eradicate the infection and didn't finish the full prescription. You two have been involved with each other… off and on… for years. You have never cleanly broken your relationship... INCLUDING... the Priya incident... and he has simply been accepted into your colonization of pestilence."

Penny put her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah? Well what about you and Amy… she was sick with the flu and you took care of her… you did all that stuff with her and her body… rubbing stuff on her and giving her a bath… You didn't get sick from any of that…"

Sheldon took off the gloves and mask and placed them in the bio-hazard bag on his belt. "I suppose you have a point."

Penny stood and smiled at Sheldon. "Look… Sheldon… we're supposed to be getting to know each other more intimately… to figure out just what these feelings are between us. So let's tone down the crazy just a little."

Sheldon looked stern. "I'm not crazy… my mother had me tested…"

Penny slumped her shoulders. "Fine… what do you say… I make us some dinner…. Spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it…"

Sheldon's eyes sparkled at the idea. "Oh goody… oh goody… oh goody… Can you make some strawberry Quick too? Amy always makes strawberry Quick…"

Penny went behind the island to pull out a big pot for the pasta. "Oh Sweetie…. I'm not Amy… you're gonna have to go without tonight. You guys don't have any here and I wouldn't be caught dead drinking that stuff. I do have a light Rosé though".

Sheldon smiled. "I'll get the sauce from the cupboard and cut up the hot dogs".

Penny patted Sheldon on the shoulder. "See Sweetie… Isn't this better… we are like a real couple… helping and being nice to each other… I mean we have been friends for a while now… I've taken care of you when you were sick…"

Sheldon looked over. "A sickness that can be traced directly back to you and your Nebraskan family".

Penny tilted her head. "Sheldon…..?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Sorry".

Penny continued. "And you took care of me when I dislocated my shoulder".

Sheldon spoke while looking for the hot dogs in the refrigerator. "An event that could have been avoided if you spent a mere ninety nine cents on some adhesive ducks…"

Penny closed her eyes and tilted her head up, letting out a sigh. "The point is… we have been friends for a long time… part of each other's lives on a daily basis for a long time… we have helped each other like people who care for each other should. Like the time you gave me all that money so I could pay some of my bills so I wouldn't get kicked out…"

Sheldon interjected. "And you help me when I need to go different places like the pottery barn or radio shak when Leonard shirks his responsibilities".

Penny broke in. "Sheldon? What have we said about being a better friend?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Sorry… or when I needed a ride to go on my first date with Amy…"

Penny continued. "Yeah… not sure how talking about a date with Amy is supposed to answer any questions about feelings between us… but sure… see? We can be nice to each other."


Bernadette sat at the table as Raj came over and ladled some of the chicken soup he had made into two bowls. "Gee Raj this was so nice of you… making this soup fresh like you did, Howie never cooks…"

Raj smiled. "Well, you just take such good care of him… like his Mother did".

Bernadette sighed. "That's just it though… I'm not his mother… I'm his wife and sometimes it feels like he just keeps taking advantage of me".

Raj smiled not wanting to get into this particular conversation. "Well I knew that I was going to have, a few hours where we would be cleaning all of Howard's things getting them ready for the sale…"

Bernadette mumbled under her breath, "Or ready for the trash". She smiled widely at her Indian friend.

Raj continued. "and the cleaning was going a little slower than we thought…. And it was nice that the Farmer's Market was open today… These carrots and celery were just beautiful… and you had all the ingredients to make fresh egg noodles… it really was no problem at all…"

Bernadette took a sip off her spoon as Raj put the soup back on the stove. "Ooooh this is really great… the chicken is so tender and the vegetables are not too mushy…"

Raj turned quickly with a look in his eye. "Too MUSHY?"

Bernadette almost choked. "Not mushy at all…. They're perfect just like the noodles…. Not doughy at all…"

Just then the timer on the oven beeped. Raj's face turned from one of accusation to one of happiness. "Oh boy, the bread is ready…"

The two friends sat and enjoyed their supper of fresh chicken noodle soup and hot fresh bread. Bernadette leaned in and put her hand on Raj's. "Now… after we're finished eating, we have to start looking at all those things that Howie kept from his mother's room. I think if we sort out all her things, it would be easier to get rid of them.. She had a bunch of dresses…. There's so much material there…."

Raj just thought about all the different floral prints that he could use to make curtains for the house.

Bernadette sat back and put up her feet on the chair next to her leaning back in the chair and looked at Raj… "So… Raj… whaddya say you go to the fridge and get me a beer…. And then maybe after we do a little more cleaning up… we go and take in a movie…. Or go out for a drink… Or maybe the ballet… They're in town… and Howie isn't here to give you a hard time… how does that sound… huh? You said Emily was busy at the Hospital and Howie will never know…" Bernadette smacked Raj on his butt as he passed her chair.

Raj's eyes went just a little wider as he looked down and noticed the comfortable grin on Bernadette's face as he picked up the used plates and brought them over to the sink. "Ummmm sure….. that sounds great…"


Sheldon sat watching yet another rerun of Dr. Who as Penny scooped out two plates of spaghetti with little hot dogs. As she brought them over she placed them both on the coffee table and stood with her hands on her hips. "Sheldon…. Dinner is served…"

Sheldon looked up at Penny with a disappointed look. "But Dr. Who is on".

Penny looked down at Sheldon and crossed her arms across her chest. "Sheldon… Sweetie… I know how much you like watching Dr. Who …. For like… the bazillionth time… but if we are supposed to get to know each other… we're going to have to actually spend some quality time together getting to know and understand what is important to each other…. And watching Dr. Who is NOT something that is going to accomplish that. It is not something that could be considered a date…. And my motor is certainly not going to get started by some guy flying around in a telephone booth with a young chick… even if he DOES have a sexy accent…"

Sheldon looked over at the plates of dinner and then up at Penny, then turned off the television. "Fair enough… Let's eat and then you can take us out on a date…."

Penny smiled for one of the few times so far today… "Really?"

Sheldon took his plate off the table. "Of course… you have made a reasonable and well thought out argument as to why we are exposing ourselves to each other in this endeavor… So… after we are finished, you can drive us to the comic book store and we can pick up the new edition of The Flash…" Sheldon then took a mouthful of spaghetti.

Penny looked over with wide eyes and an open mouth. "Great… I don't know how much exposing of ourselves we are going to do… but Great… the comic book store… How's the spaghetti?"

Sheldon looked back at Penny. "Not at ALL the way Amy makes it…. He swallowed, then cleared his throat. It sure tastes good when it's crunchy…." He then took another scoop as Penny looked on smiling.

Penny was so proud of herself… "Yeah… that's what Leonard says too".