Chapter 12: Time
When I woke up the next morning, Bill was quietly snoring on the couch. I smiled. No matter what he did, he was the most adorable thing in the world. I remembered that I couldn't say his name for him to wake up, and I couldn't get up. So I decided to turn on the TV. I flipped through the channels, until I found the one I wanted. The news. I know, I'm a 13 year old girl, and I watch the news. It's sad, but the news is very interesting. One of the newscasters interuppted my train of thought when she said "The famous singer, Bill Kaulitz, has been missing for the past 4 days." I was so confused. 'How could he be missing when he's sitting in this room?' I asked myself. 'Oh god.' I thought. He never told anyone. He never told his bandmates that he was here with me. 'Ugh! Bill you are so stupid sometimes.' I thought, as I glanced in his direction. I looked around the bed for something to throw at him. I spotted a tray of food, there was a little square of Jell-O on it. I smirked, picked it up, then threw it across the room onto Bill. I was glad I had good aim, otherwise it would've smacked against the wall. Instead.....It plopped all over his white shirt. My mouth dropped open, I slapped my hand against it. This woke him up. My eyes were as wide as they could possibly go. "What was that for!?" Bill yelled. I grabbed my 'voice' and wrote, 'I was trying to wake you up, I couldn't really say anything, and I can't get up. Hence the tubes in my body.' I handed him the paper. His eyes skimmed the sheet. He looked up, "Oh...Yeah....I'm sorry I exploded. I'm just really grumpy when I wake up." he walked over to the side of my bed, and grabbed my hand. He stroked it gently, "But that's just one of my many flaws. I'm an ass in the morning." he laughed. 'I can tell.' I scrawled onto the paper. I smiled, he knew I was accepting him for what he was. EVERYTHING about him (even the bad). "So...How do you feel?" he asked. 'Well, I've been better. But I'm fine. No major pains anywhere. Just sore everywhere.' I wrote. I reached over for my water to take a drink, but I couldn't quite reach it. Bill smiled and handed me the cup. 'Thankyou.' I mouthed to him, then poured some water into my mouth. Just as Bill was about to lean in to kiss me, a nurse walked in. "Oh! I'm sorry. I'll leave if I was interrupting something." she said. Bill stood up and walked back to the couch, "It's okay. You don't have to leave. Do what you need to do." he said, as he motioned to me. "Okay." the nurse said as she walked back in the room. "I need to change your IV, dear." she told me. I nodded and pulled up my sleeve. There was a large needle that was in my arm. Taped to my skin. With a clear liquid in it. I had NO idea that there was a needle THAT big in my arm. I didn't really feel anything as she pulled the tape off, and took out the needle. She wiped away the blood on my arm with cleaning alcohol, and put a new one in. My mouth suddenly tasted like metal. It made me gag at first, then I got used to it. She patted my arm dry, then said "Okay, honey. All done. I'll leave now." while she turned, and left the room. I swear I saw her look at Bill and smile. Smile, as if she was happy for us. I was confused. She didn't know us or anything. We weren't even in a happy position. I was in the hospital, recovering from TWO surgeries. Both happened on the same day to. Maybe she was just happy that we still had eachother. I put the thought aside, and motioned Bill to come back over to the bed. He instantly got up, and walked over to me. He kneeled down by the bedside, and rubbed my arm. "You okay?" he asked. I grabbed the notepad. 'Why wouldn't I be okay?' I scribbled. I handed it to him, he scanned my scribbles. Stopping on some words to try to make them out. "When that nurse was leaving, you had a confused look on your face. Like she did something....something....that was....well...not good." he explained. His face looked scared, hurt, and troubled. 'Did she.....do something....bad?' I wrote. My breath was becoming uneven. On top of that, my heart started to speed up. Then, what I hoped wouldn't happen.......Bill looked down. I heard him sigh as a tear fell down my cheek. I couldn't move. My breathing slowed to a halt. All I wanted to do was scream. But I couldn't. All I could do was stare blank-faced at him until he looked up again. As he did, I pulled my hand up, and slapped him across the face. A tear, on each side, fell from his eyes. "I didn't do anything....she did....I swear..I would never hurt you, Kristina. You know that." he whispered as he wiped my tears away. I reached out to my notepad, my hand shaking, and scrawled these words, 'Bill....I WANT to believe you.....I NEED to believe you.....I KNOW your telling the truth...but I just need some time to think this all over...I love you...but I want you to go spend some time with your brother.' I handed it to him, and rolled over on my side. I shut my eyes, tears pouring out from each corner. I didn't want him to go, I just needed some time alone right now. I heard footsteps, then a door open and close. I opened my eyes and sat up. Bill was no where in sight. He was gone. I grabbed my heart to keep it from falling out. It was beating so hard, that my chest was going numb. I looked down to see my notepad on my lap. On it were these words, 'I understand that your angry at me....and that you don't WANT me to go...that you need some time to think....but I can't promise I'll be back soon. I'm going on the road with Tom. To clear my head. I'll come back soon, I promise. I love you Kristina, and I mean it. I'll always have you in my thoughts, you'll never leave my head. You just won't be focused on as much until I get back. I'll be back before the day you can speak again. I just don't know when. But remember this.....I won't find someone else. That nurse, I wasn't even attracted to her ONE bit. I haven't been attracted to anyone since you happened to me. The only girl I see is you. You are my light. The girl that makes me life easier. I need you with me. I'll email you.' I rubbed the tears from my eyes. There was a heart drawn on the bottom of the paper. Next to it a key, with words written next to it. 'My heart is locked until I see you again. No one can enter until I'm back with YOU. Only you can enter it. Love, Bill.' I put the paper on my heart and closed my eyes. That night I slept, knowing that Bill was thinking of me at this very moment. Thinking that I would see him soon. I fell into a deep slumber, and dreamt of the day I first met him. 1 week later I'm out of the hospital, living with my friend. When I woke up, I went straight to the bathroom to change my band-aids. As I peeled the others off, I could see that my scars were getting harder and harder to see everyday. I smiled, knowing that pretty soon I would be able to see Bill again. He emailed me yesterday telling me that he was coming back in 3 days. I was so excited. I haven't heard his voice in a week. I opened a package of new band-aids and gently smoothed them on my scars. I was also happy that I could start talking sooner. The doctor contacted me telling me that I could start to speak in 6 days. When I heard that news I was so happy, that I almost fainted. It's hard for me not to talk, laugh, or make a weird noise. I left the bathroom and walked downstairs. I saw Dakota sitting on the couch watching Dora. I smiled. We love watch kiddy shows. They are so frickin amazing. I plopped myself down next to her, and tried to catch up on what was happening in the show. Soon I gave up. It must've been a new episode. I got back up to go get some Lucky Charms. As I was pouring some into my bowl. I heard a knock on the door. "Coming!" Dakota yelled. I glanced around the corner to see who it was. When she opened the door, my mouth fell open. "Where's Kristina?!" Tom yelled. He pushed the door open all the way and saw me. The news he told me made me drop the milk. It was NOT, most definetly NOT, good news.
