Sharon POV
"Are you ready?"
I looked at Andy as we sat together in the front seat of my car, and waited for his response.
It's been two weeks since we got back from St. Louis.
It feels like longer, and yet I can also think about our first night together, in my hotel room in Stafford, and I can remember every single vivid detail, so I suppose it hasn't been all that long.
Maybe it's just that so much has changed.
When our plane landed in LA, I felt the irrational urge to stay on it, and see where it took us next.
Completely implausible, I know, but the idea of being back home, of breaking the bubble of togetherness Andy and I were able to experience over the past two days…it made me sad.
"Don't worry," Andy said as he took my hand and we headed for the baggage pickup. "I'm not expecting an invitation tonight. But sometime soon would be nice."
That was the problem, though. I wanted him to come home with me. It was a fact that caused me some serious self-analysis, why I suddenly wanted to spend every waking minute with him.
"I want to," I assured him. "But we just have to see how this is all going to work."
He held my gaze for a minute, and then he dropped his eyes as he nodded, and I quickly added, "I'm not saying if it will work. It will. It's just a matter of logistics."
Andy seems to have trouble accepting that I love him. Although I suppose that's fair. I did such a good job of hiding it for so long, that I can't blame him for needing some time to absorb it.
Of course, he has now.
But I mean, when we first got back.
We shared a taxi from the airport, and I cost us an additional $11.60 in cab fare, because I spent so long kissing him goodbye.
Money well spent.
Once I got inside, Rusty was happy to see me, and I definitely missed him, but he had questions.
"So where's Flynn?"
"Andy? He's on his way home, why?"
"I thought…I mean, you guys…he's not coming here?"
"Rusty, it's been two days since I asked you about us dating. Did you think we were going to live together already?"
"Well, Emily said…she…um…"
He apparently couldn't find the right words, and then he finally stopped talking altogether, which was a good thing, considering the direction he was going.
With everything that happened since I got up that morning, I'd forgotten about my phone call with Emily, the day before.
Which she obviously shared with Rusty.
I knew she would, but I guess she also told him to plan for sleepovers.
"There are two of us living in this house," I began carefully, but he held up his hand, politely asking permission to interrupt.
"I've always said that I don't want to be a problem for you, Sharon, and I mean that. You haven't dated in all the time that I've known you, and I feel like some of that was probably because of me. And now you're with Flynn, and I'm still here, keeping you from doing what you want to do, and I can't do that to you anymore. You're always doing for everyone else, but you need to do this for you. I mean, if you want to. Just don't not do it because of me."
His heartfelt speech brought tears to my eyes, but it also gave me some amusement.
"I can date Andy without spending every minute with him."
As I said the words, I realized they were in direct conflict with my earlier thoughts, but I pressed forward.
"And I appreciate that you're supportive, but that doesn't mean…"
"It means you should have him over, whenever you want, without worrying about what I'll think or if it's going to scar me because of my mom…Sharon, it won't, I promise. You're nothing like her, and I mean that in the best possible way."
He finished his remarks, and then he hugged me and said a sincere I'm glad you're home, and then he was off to his room, claiming exhaustion and an early quiz.
Probably true, and it was after midnight, so I didn't worry too much about his quick departure.
Although I didn't invite Andy over.
But I did call him, once I was in bed, and I think there's something to be said for a little bit of time apart because it was such a sweet conversation that left me smiling after we finally said goodnight.
The next morning, I went to see Chief Taylor first thing, to get it over with.
I meant what I said to Andy. We'll be okay. I just hate that he's going to give me that disapproving look, and he'll probably throw around a lot of talk about superior officers and transfers, but the bottom line is that Major Crimes is the most effective division in the LAPD. We make him look good, and that's more important to him than just about anything, so he won't break up the unit.
"Captain, do you want to tell me what you were doing in St. Louis with Lt. Flynn?" he asked as soon as I walked into his office.
I thought we'd already established that, and his arrogant attitude immediately put me on the defensive.
"Identifying two girls in the L.A. morgue," I said crisply. "If you recall, I asked permission to do it through Major Crimes and you said no. There aren't any regulations prohibiting me from doing a little legwork on my own, and I didn't use my badge to gain access anywhere. The SLPD was grateful for our presence, and I would think…"
"Captain," he interrupted.
"Yes?"
"You focused on the wrong part of my question. I want to know what you and Lt. Flynn were doing…anywhere. Is there something you need to tell me?"
It was harder to admit than I thought.
Not because I'm ashamed of Andy, or of how I feel for him, but because it's my private life. Sharing with my kids was difficult enough, but Taylor…
And I could deny it, but it's going to come out eventually, so it's best just to nip it in the bud.
"Yes," I said at last.
He leaned back in his chair and smiled at me, but he didn't look surprised, which threw me off a little, and then he said, "So you finally cracked."
"I'm sorry," I said in confusion. "I cracked?"
"Flynn's been walking around like a puppy dog for months. Longer, maybe. Are you sure you even want to make this notification official? Because if it's going to be over before the ink dries, I'm willing to overlook it. I mean, I know Flynn. He can be pretty persistent."
His response was about the last thing in the world that I'd expected, and I felt angry for his belittling of Andy's feelings, as well as indignant over the idea that I would participate in a casual fling in the office.
I walked over in front of his desk and grabbed a legal pad and pen and then scrawled out I am in a relationship with Lt. Andy Flynn, and from this point forward, I will no longer be involved in his reviews or reprimands, and then I signed it Captain Sharon Raydor, added the date, and then I blew on the paper before tossing the pad over in front of him.
"There," I said. "The ink's dry."
He looked at me with incredulity and said, "Captain, you can't be serious."
"Chief, we've known each other in a professional capacity for more than twenty years. Have you ever once heard of me participating in an office affair?"
"Well, no."
"And I'm not now. So yes, I'm serious, and yes, we're serious, and I don't think I'm obligated to disclose any additional information. I'll forward you any correspondence I may receive in regards to Lt. Flynn. Are we done?"
I apparently left him speechless, but he waved in the direction of the door, so I kept my head held high and left his office.
It still angers me, just thinking about it, how he basically mocked Andy for having a crush on me. Although to his credit, in the two weeks since, he hasn't said a word about it, or at least not that I've heard.
I went back into the murder room, still with a full head of steam from the meeting with Taylor, and I found my squad in laughter.
"I love it, sir," Julio was saying, holding up a bag of nuts.
"Hey, they're Virginia nuts," Andy said with a grin. "They're supposed to be famous, like their hams."
"Thank you for not buying me a ham," Amy said. She has some kind of stained glass ornament on her desk, and I saw that Mike had a four-pack of Kahlua in his hand.
"What about me, Flynn? I don't rate a souvenir?" Lt. Provenza asked, and I lingered in my office doorway for a moment to watch. I hadn't realized Andy bought anyone anything, so I was touched that he did so, as well as curious.
It was also an opportunity to look at him without raising suspicions. Just because we're telling Taylor doesn't mean we're telling anyone else. At least not yet. And I like looking at him, so I'll take full advantage of these situations when they present themselves.
"Sure, I did," Andy responded, and he reached into a bag and tossed a t-shirt at his partner, who then held it up in front of him, which sparked another round of laughter from everyone but him.
He glanced down at the logo on the shirt and scowled.
"Virginia is for lovers? What the hell kind of gift is this?" he asked, and then he looked at me purposefully before shifting his accusatory gaze back to Andy, and suddenly the room fell silent.
"The captain and I spent forty-eight hours together," Andy began, and I was silently praying that he wasn't about to say what I thought he was going to say. "And during that time we found the names for two unidentified girls, we saved a third girl from impending abuse, we arrested a pedophile posing as a cop...so tell me exactly when we were supposed to behave inappropriately? Jeez, Provenza, it's the state tourism motto, not a statement of disclosure. Get over it."
His words had everyone else chuckling, only this time at Provenza, and honestly, it was pure genius. Surely the lieutenant wasn't the only one thinking that something might have happened between us while we were away, so this way, Andy got it out there before anyone could start speculating.
Lt. Provenza looked properly remorseful, and then grumbled a thank you before shoving the t-shirt into a drawer, and I went into my office.
As I went around my desk, I noticed something new sitting on top of it.
A small ceramic unicorn.
"Hey, Captain," Andy said as he poked his head through the door.
"You bought me this?" I asked, still looking at the pretty little statue, and I know it was a silly question, since he obviously did, but it was such a sweet gesture.
"Universal beauty," he said quietly. "How could I pass that up?"
I looked over at him, where he remained in the doorway, and even though I swore I wouldn't think illicit thoughts about him while at work, I did, in that moment.
He just looked so handsome and my mind flashed onto how his hands feel on my skin, and how he was awake in the middle of the night, wanting to tell me he loves me.
"Come over tonight," I said, and I meant it to come out as a question, but it sounded more like a demand. Like a need, although I suppose that's what it was.
He smiled broadly and nodded at me, and then I got a handle on myself and said, "Nice misdirection, with the t-shirt. You knew how he'd respond."
"He's easy," he said with a shrug. "When I saw it, I couldn't resist."
He went back to his desk, and I got to work, and then later a case came in, and the day passed like any other. I did make a phone call to Dr. Morales, to bring him up to speed on what happened with the girls, and then he told me what he wanted to do, and I whole-heartedly agreed.
But I'll come back to that.
That night, Andy came over for dinner.
And he stayed the night.
It didn't feel strange at all, and I think it must be because it's Andy, and Rusty likes him, but whatever the reason, Rusty acted as if it were an everyday occurrence, so I was relaxed about it by the time we went to bed.
"Finally," Andy said, flopping onto my bed and putting his hands behind his head.
"What?"
"I get to see what Sharon Raydor wears to bed," he stated, as if it were a burning question in everyone's mind. "Go on, don't mind me. Just pretend I'm not here."
"Well, I wasn't planning on wearing anything at all," I said as I unbuttoned my blouse and then tossed it in the direction of the chair. I had his complete attention at that point, and it's such a confidence boost to see the desire in his eyes. I'm not sure anyone's ever looked at me the way that he does.
I took off my slacks, and then I gave him a smile and said playfully, "But if you want me to put on a nightgown, I can."
Then I reached behind me to unhook my bra, and before it hit the floor, he was on me, his arms around me and his lips on my neck, on my breasts, and his hands sliding down into the back of my underwear…I can't believe how much I missed this, how being apart from him for one night made me almost desperate for it. Andy, too, apparently, because he couldn't seem to touch me enough, and I love how even when he seems in a hurry, he doesn't hurry…he pulled me down onto the bed and cherished every inch of me, and when he had me to the point where I couldn't wait another second - and he doesn't know it, but I was right on the verge of begging - he finally moved into me, and it felt so good, and not just that, although that too, but I mean being with him in general just felt so perfect, and I was glad I'd already said it once, because there was no stopping the words that came from my mouth, when I said, God, I love you, Andy, and he paused, holding my gaze for a moment as the pleasure swept across his face, and then he said the words back to me, and then he started to move, measured and strong, and I couldn't think of anything except for how good he feels and how much I love him.
"That was a first for this bed," I told him, much later, once we were under the covers, and yes, I was dressed in my cotton nightgown, the sight of which gave him great satisfaction. "I think it held up pretty well."
He looked at me for a moment, and then it finally hit him what I meant.
"You're kidding me, right? I mean, I know not recently, but you and Jack never…"
He didn't finish the sentence, and I think we were both glad of that, but then I said, "I got a new bed a few years ago. Just before Rusty moved in. I'd made up my mind that I was done with Jack, and I figured, out with the old, in with the new."
"And I'm the new," he said with a grin. "I like that."
"You're going to be the only," I corrected.
"I really like that," he said, pulling me more securely against him and kissing the top of my head.
"I like that, too."
Since that night, we've spent eleven out of the next twelve together. One night, we were out all night working a case, so neither of us went to bed. It's gone smoothly on all fronts: me and Andy, me and Andy and Rusty, work…at the risk of sounding cheesy, I can't help but feel like this thing between us was meant to be. We like each other and we love each other, we respect each other and we communicate, and we're really great together in bed. I'm not sure it gets any better.
So this morning, I got the call I've been waiting for from Dr. Morales, and the timing couldn't have been better because we just wrapped up a case yesterday afternoon.
"Ten o'clock," he said, and then he gave me an address, so at nine-thirty, I got the squad together and we made the drive, to where we are now.
"I'm ready," Andy answered. "But what are we doing here?"
We got out of the car, and as the other squad members joined us, we saw Dr. Morales up on the hill, so I led the group, crossing the grass to where he stood.
"Oh my God," I heard Andy say softly, and his quiet astonishment brought tears to my eyes.
"I had to do my part," the doctor said, and then he looked down to where our attention was focused.
The two headstones, side by side: one marked for Lucita Hermosa and the other for Marcella.
"I fudged the paperwork on Lucita, keeping her around long enough, in hopes that you guys would give her a name, and you did, so…since the mother made no claim on them, I figured the least I could do was give them both a proper burial. I have some friends in the mortuary business, so…"
The priest began the service, and the nine of us - Andrea included - stood in honor of the two little girls.
It was emotional and poignant, and as it neared its end, I glanced at Andy and I could see that he was getting choked up, completely moved by the entire gesture, and my love for him was nearly overwhelming, so I made a decision. I sidled up next to him and took his hand, lacing my fingers through his as I leaned into him for support.
The move didn't go unnoticed, of that I have no doubt, but I knew that before I did it.
And it wasn't really a difficult decision to make.
Really just three little facts.
I don't see the need for secrets anymore.
We're amongst friends here.
And I love him.
And that's really all that matters.
The End.
