A/N: Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts and for keeping this story in mind despite your busy lives and the lack of updates! I haven't forgotten it either, but summers get hectic, work gets hectic, plus my UPRISING muse returned and has kept me busy as well. But here we are again! :)

Most characters belong to S. Meyer. Some belong to me. All mistakes are mine.

Broken – Chapter 11


Good morning, Bella. Hope you slept well and that you woke up energized for our first run. Are we still on?

Fastening the cellphone to my wristband, I took a deep breath and headed for the door. Whether Bella replied or not, I had a morning run to get to, and a physical and mental health routine to keep. Nonetheless, nothing could suppress the smile that spread from ear to ear when the cellphone vibrated a minute later, just as I reached for the doorknob.

We agreed on 6 a.m. Monday, didn't we? It's 5:50 a.m., and I'm around the corner from the coffee shop. I warned you I'm not a morning person, so I really hope you're not going to make me wait. Oh, and good morning to you too, Edward.

Chuckling to myself, I typed out a reply while I ran down the stairwell.

Luckily, I'm morning person enough for both of us, and I only live a couple of blocks from the coffee shop. I won't be late. Promise.

We'll see. It's 5:52, and I'm now in front of the said coffee shop.

Grinning broadly, I left my apartment vestibule at a brisk jog. The crisp, early October breeze prickled my skin and whipped up my hair as it whistled past my ears. At this time of year, dawn wouldn't break for another hour or so, with only the barest hint of daylight staining the sky like wine splattered across a dark carpet.

But New York City was already wide awake; streetlights, headlights, apartment lights, and store lights provided a glow the sun wouldn't grant for a while yet. Energetic conversations, the wafting scent of morning coffee and sizzling lunch meats at the corner vendor carts, the blare of rush hour traffic, and quick, determined strides against concrete; all these were daily reminders that this city really never slept.

Mid-intersection, my phone vibrated yet again, and I had to fist my hands to stop myself from becoming one of those reckless pedestrians I usually threw dark scowls for crossing the street while checking their phones.

As soon as my feet hit the curb, I gave in and read Bella's text.

It's 5:54, and I still don't see you.

You weren't kidding about your early morning mood.

5:55, Edward. Less texting. More running.

Chuckling again, I turned the corner and spotted Bella.

She was in front of the open-for-business coffee shop, facing the opposite direction and eyes obviously scanning the street. Her head was tilted sideways, which made her long, dark ponytail sweep past her right shoulder. The strands contrasted beautifully against her light-colored hoodie; I'd asked her to wear one to ensure she was seen in the pre-dawn darkness. She also wore black running tights, and I couldn't help noting how they outlined her plump backside and her shapely legs.

Before approaching, I drew in a series of successive breaths and released them through narrowed lips.

"Easy, Edward," I murmured.

Because in Bella's book, we were two people barely beyond acquaintances, who would or wouldn't now, possibly, become more. Yet, in my book, we'd been more for the better part of a year. As I covertly came up behind her and leaned into her exposed ear, she sucked her teeth, her thumbs moving briskly over her cellphone keyboard.

"Where is this-"

"Boo."

Bella's breath hitched as she spun around, cellphone held in mid-air. Meanwhile, I threw up both hands, palms out between us.

"Whoa, whoa. Bella, it's me," I laughed.

"You…you highly intelligent yet senseless…" Nostrils flaring, she dropped the hand holding her cell phone and shut her eyes, placing a palm on her chest. "Didn't anyone ever teach you never to sneak up like that on a woman? Don't you realize I could've killed you?"

"I'm sorry," I said, attempting to rein in my humor. "But what would you have killed me with, your cell phone?"

"Maybe," she snapped, not at all amused. "I could've bludgeoned you with it, slammed it over and over your head," – she motioned – "before I even realized who you were. Trust me, in moments of intense fear…I tend to panic." She swallowed. "It's gotten me in trouble before."

Fuck. I was an idiot. This time, when I replied, it wasn't nearly with as much humor.

"I really am sorry, Bella. I wasn't thinking. The last thing I want to do is frighten you."

Forehead deeply furrowed, she scrutinized me through a dark, fiery gaze while in my periphery, I watched her chest heave furiously.

"Look, I'll completely understand if you want to just forget our run."

Despite the evenly delivered external offer, internally, I fought to disguise my self-inflicted misery. After all, I had no one but myself to blame. What the fuck had I been thinking sneaking up on her that way? While Bella drew in heavy breaths, I waited with mine baited, fully expecting her to tell me to fuck off – and deservedly so. Finally, she spoke.

"I don't want to forget our run. I suppose I overreacted." The words were accompanied by a conciliatory smile.

"No," I shook my head. "No, Bella. Don't take this on yourself. There was no way you overreacted. I was stupid to approach you that way."

"You were being…playful, and my reaction was over the top, and once again, you must think I'm nuts."

"Are you kidding me?"

She looked away, shaking her head from side to side.

"Bella?"

Instinctively, I slipped a finger under her chin and led her dark, spell-bounding eyes back to mine. Again, Bella's breath hitched, but this time it seemed less related to fear and more to surprise.

"Hey," I breathed, "I've already told you, I don't think you're nuts. What's more, I don't like hearing you call yourself that…and I'm sure Dr. Rose wouldn't like it either," I added softly.

She chuckled. "You're right, Edward. She wouldn't," she said, offering me a curious smile. "You remembered my therapist's name."

I shrugged. "Recalling. Extrapolating. It's what I do. I pay attention."

She nodded slowly, holding my gaze as she pulled away. "And you do so very well," – she quirked a brow – "most of the time."

I sighed remorsefully. "You were absolutely right, Bella. No man should ever approach a woman the way I just approached you. It was stupid, and I would've completely deserved a bludgeoning from your cellphone."

"Yeah, you would've," she laughed, but I caught the ensuing shudder.

"Truly, Bella, I really am sorry I frightened you."

"Stop." She waved a hand in dismissal. "Stop, Edward. It's not even that. Though it was pretty stupid, and you may have deserved getting bludgeoned, it's just…" her eyes narrowed and panned away, "the thought of my accidentally hurting you in a blind moment of panic...it's strangely disturbing."

My breath left me. "Bella…"

"Anyway," – she swept her gaze back to me and shook her head decisively – "let's forget about it."

"But Bella-"

"Seriously, I don't want to discuss it anymore. We've spent way too much time on this."

"Fine. But-"

"Which way are we running, Edward?"

For one long moment, I silently held her gaze.

"Your choice. Either way, first we have to stretch."

"Yes, sir." When she saluted me, I laughed despite myself…and despite my continued inability to fess up.

OOOOO

On our first run together, I taught Bella some stretching exercises, and then we ran the river, from bridge to bridge. However, any conversation we carried on was stilted, short and cursory, and only revolved around our run – watch the puddles, avoid the shit piles, the pedestrians stuck to their phones and paying no mind to the clearly marked running trails, and of course, pay attention while crossing the intersections.

Once she seemed to get the hang of it, Bella fell silent. It wasn't so much an awkward silence but a clear and single-minded preference for exercise over conversation. It appeared we'd be running partners…and little more. Still, if anyone knew the benefits of exercise to clear the mind, to create inner peace which led to outward health, it was me. If our runs helped her in any way, I'd quietly bare the silence and lack of true friendship. With a sidelong glance at her and a wistful smile for all that could've been, I adjusted my buds in my ears.

"They're like diamonds, aren't they?" Bella said a while later, out of the blue. Her gaze had been on the river.

"Carbonado," I replied after a pause. Bella turned and gave me a questioning look, running at a slower pace, which I fell to instantly.

"Carbonado?"

"It's a black diamond made of diamond, graphite, and carbon. It's usually pea-sized and unusual for being found in Brazil and in the Central African Republic, neither place which is in the least associated with the town of Kimberly in South Africa. The town of Kimberly is-"

"It's where most diamonds originate."

I grinned and nodded. "Carbonado is also peculiar because its properties are different from those of typical diamonds. Many believe Carbonado originated in outer space and are actually meteors from a supernova explosion. The meteors drifted for about a billion years before impacting Earth at a region which would later split into Brazil and the Central African Republic."

For a handful of seconds, I felt Bella's gaze on me.

"And I suppose the better answer would've been yes, Bella, the way the morning rays fall over the river make it sparkle as if it's hiding dark diamonds. Sorry for going off on one of my tangents." I chuckled self-consciously.

"It may have been the more straightforward answer, but I don't know that it would've been a better answer. Don't apologize. That was extremely interesting." When I turned and met her gaze, she grinned.

"My mom and I," I said, "we have a habit of collecting useless information. It drove my father nuts when I was a kid, and I purposely went off tangent during our conversations." I rolled my eyes.

"Really?" She faced forward. "I'm not used to that."

"You're not used to a discussion on the origin of black diamonds while jogging through the city?"

"No, smart-ass." She smirked and faced forward. "What I mean is, well, my mom and I don't have the closest relationship, and my dad…he's always too worried about me to relax enough to share useless information."

"And your friends?" I asked.

"I've lost track of a lot of…friends – if that's what you can call them. But even before I lost track of them, our discussions usually revolved around celebrities or parties or the latest news…or their children."

"Sounds like you had a lot of superficial, self-involved friends if you don't mind me saying."

"I don't mind. Do you have close friends, Edward?"

I nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "Not too many, but…yeah. My co-worker is a good buddy, and one of my cousins and I are pretty tight."

"You mentioned you have a sibling?"

"Yeah, but we're not-" I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"Oh. I don't have siblings. Anyway, maybe it was partly my fault I've had shitty friends. I never spoke of what I really wanted to speak of. I never brought up or asked for those tangents. I never really got to know them or…allowed them to know me."

"You purposely kept things superficial."

She nodded thoughtfully. "When my ex-husband and I were teenagers, we talked about your typical teenager stuff. But when we got married, it became about bills and responsibilities and whose turn it was to throw out the garbage and schedules and…and our relationship didn't quite mature along with us. So, when things got tough, and I wanted to really talk, neither of us knew how. He was still stuck on being the high school golden boy and on Forks - our hometown - and I..." Her dark eyes flashed to me, and she chuckled. "I certainly can't picture him and I ever being comfortable enough with one another to discuss outer space diamonds."

How could such a deep woman have married such a superficial bastard?

"Why did you marry him?" I found myself asking.

Bella's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"

"I've spent a lot of nights asking myself why it ended – the lack of maturity being one of my conclusions. But you're right, Edward. Maybe the question should be why did I marry him in the first place? Interesting. Maybe something I could bring up with-" In my periphery, I saw her shoot me a quick glance. "And now, I've given you more than you ever wanted to know about me."

"That's not even remotely possible, Bella."

She smiled and looked at her feet. "Your turn, Edward. Tell me more about you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Let's see. Well, where did you learn that bit of information about black diamonds, or carbonado?"

"You know, you never say or ask what I expect you to say or ask."

Again, her eyes flashed to me. "What did you expect me to say or ask?"

Our gazes held for a handful of seconds before I forced myself to face forward or trip.

"In Brazil," I replied, "while I was there following a Yellow Fever outbreak. I learned those infected had been on a tour of caves where carbonado was once discovered."

"During your Jack Ryan slash James Bond-like investigations?" she teased.

I snorted. "Yes, during those."

"Did you tour the caves?"

"Not so much toured as inspected," I clarified, raising my brows.

"Ahh. Because it's a job and not a vacation." When I looked at her, she shot me a wink.

I chuckled. "Bella, you sound like my co-worker, the one I mentioned before. He seems to think we're on vacation half the time."

Bella laughed. "Edward, I've got to admit, your work sounds dangerous but fun as hell. Tell me more about these caves."

"Not much to tell. They were caves," I shrugged. "Dark, dirty, and dank."

"Is that what you put in your report afterward?"

"No," I snorted.

"Then there was obviously much to tell. What were the caves like, Edward?"

"What were they like, huh?"

For the next quarter hour or so, I described the Brazilian caves to Bella – from their size to their shape, color, temperature, scent, to what I saw on the inside and outside. By the time we stopped for our post-run stretches in front of the Statue of Liberty, mid-river, the sun hovered above the statue's crown, and Bella's mood had performed a complete one-eighty.

"Dark, dirty, and dank," she scoffed, referencing my first description. "Now that was great. Now I feel like I was there."

"Believe it or not, I'm glad you weren't there, Bella," I said. "Yellow Fever can be more than nasty; it can be deadly."

She looked up from her lunges and eyed me warily. "I hope you take precautions, Edward."

"It's the first rule," I said in between burpees. "Protect yourself before you protect others. Otherwise, you won't be able to help anyone, and you might make matters worse."

"Do you stick by that rule?"

"Religiously."

"Good." She stopped for a moment. "Like I said, your work sounds dangerous, but man, I'm thoroughly impressed. I might even steal some of that scenery you described, maybe even the concept of a magical diamond from outer space, for something in the future."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

She offered me nothing more than a grin – and a great view of her backside as she bent over to stretch – in reply.

"Ah, I see how it is." I removed my sweaty shirt and hung it around my neck. "You get me to spill my guts while you-"

When I realized how hypocritical what I'd been about to say actually was, I cut myself off.

The thing was, for almost our entire run, I'd managed to forget what originally tied Bella and me together. But now, here it was again, that elephant which was only visible to me. Meanwhile, Bella eyed me closely. Her gaze flashed to my bare torso, more specifically, to my tattoo.

"What music were you listening to, Edward, before I interrupted you with my game of twenty questions?" she asked, looking away and at Lady Liberty as she stretched.

"I wasn't listening to music."

When she looked up, damp tendrils of hair hung limply from her ponytail, and again, I was tempted to reach for them.

"Yeah, you were. You had your earbuds in."

"You were quiet this morning." I shrugged. "I didn't want you to feel pressured into holding a conversation."

"Edward…" she exhaled, "I've slowed you down today – and don't try to tell me I haven't. On top of that, you shouldn't have to pretend you're listening to music. If our runs are going to make you uncomfortable…"

Straightening, I walked over and sat cross-legged on the grass next to her, bending my legs at the knee and resting my arms over them. After a moment, Bella sat beside me and mimicked my pose.

"Bella, I interrupt you a lot when you're lost in thought."

"Is that why you had your earbuds in, because you didn't want to interrupt me? Jesus, Edward, this is your run. I'm just an intruder."

"But I only do so when you seem upset," I continued. "You didn't really seem upset," I said carefully, "and I don't want to interrupt your introspective time."

For a long while, Bella stared at me. "You've learned to tell the difference between when I'm upset and when I'm just quiet." The words were murmured, pronounced more like a statement than a question.

I nodded.

"I don't even know what to say to that. No one – other than my therapist," she snorted, "has ever taken the time to tell the difference. I've told you about my old friendships."

"Maybe it's time for new friendships. Plus, I don't want to give you reason not to run with me again. It gets a bit lonely," I grinned.

"But you have good friends."

"I do, but they're lazy," I smirked, "and maybe…I want to run with you."

Silence.

"Edward, you really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course, I mean it." Unable to control myself any longer, I reached across for an errant lock of her damp hair, pushing it behind her ear. "Why wouldn't I?"

Her eyes searched mine.

"I have to tell you something. I have mental health issues."

"Don't we all to one extent or another?"

"Thank you for that," she smiled faintly, "but Edward, there was once a dark cloud hovering over me. It followed me everywhere. It affected everything. It's gotten better – much better. Its lightened in both weight and color over the past few months, even more over the past few weeks."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"It is. I can write again, when for a long time, even before I realized I had these issues, my fingers felt as heavy as lead. I literally struggled for every word I wrote. Now…" she offered me a truly carefree grin, unlike any grin she'd offered me before, "now, I'm writing things, and I'm not even sure where my inspiration comes from. It's exciting, and I see that light at the end of the tunnel, but…"

"But…?" I prompted.

"But sometimes, I wake up, and the cloud is back, and it's darker than the night before, and I don't know if it'll be a good day, or if I'll be able to shake off that cloud. And before our running partnership continues," she smiled, "I thought you should know I'm not all sunshine and roses."

"Believe it or not, Bella, I kinda know that."

When she rolled her eyes and shoved my arm, I chuckled and instinctively reached for her hand, brushing her knuckles before I pulled my hand away.

"Guess what? I'm not all sunshine and roses either," I said. "Bella, I won't downplay or minimize what you feel or to what extent you feel it. But that cloud, I've experienced similar ones. And the morning runs, they help."

"So, you've got clouds too?" she smiled sadly.

"I've got clouds too." And a lot of them are the same ones you have.

"Strange," she whispered, "that you know what I just meant with that whole 'cloud' reference. When I tried to use that metaphor on my mom, I could hear her brain scrambling over the phone."

I swallowed hard, and as she looked away, I saw the silhouette of a smile spread across her face as she murmured quietly to herself.

"A Stop sign means more than green and red, more than bad and good, more than asshole-"

"What?" I snorted.

Her eyes panned back to me. "Nothing." She chuckled. "Just repeating some stuff my therapist told me."

ooooo

In the weeks that followed, I came to learn that Bella was like a flower: darkness, rain, clouds and the like, they didn't suit her. She dealt with them, yeah; but a sunny morning and bright sunshine…they transformed her. Sometimes, we talked about seemingly inconsequential subjects, yet with every conversation, regardless of how inane, I got to know Bella more and more. And with every conversation, my initial extrapolations were proven correct.

"I see what you're doing, Bella," I said one morning during our run. "You always take the riverside."

Her playfully guilty laughter was like a shot of adrenaline.

"It just gets so hot, and I need the river breeze," she complained, grinning, "and you're so tall, you block it if you run on this side."

"Forgive me for my excess height," I teased, shooting her a sidelong smirk as I reached behind my neck and pulled off my shirt, wrapping it around my shoulders. "Yet another bone I'll have to pick with my father."

"You seem to have a lot of bones to pick with him."

"You have no idea. But, please, go ahead and help yourself to the breeze coming off the river."

In my periphery, I could see her eyes on me for a handful of seconds. "Unlike you, Edward, I can't just pull off my top and cool off that way."

"Can't you?"

She shoved me away hard, and I chuckled as I turned and ran backward, keeping pace a couple of feet ahead of her. Angling her head sideways, her eyes narrowed as she studied the intertwined eagles over my right peck. I could read the daily curiosity in her dark, sparkling gaze, the questions beyond her slightly parted mouth. Nonetheless, when she met my eyes, cheeks flushed from either the run or being caught staring, she made no inquiry.

"I'm just joking, Bella. We're only halfway through our run, and if you were to do that," I grinned, lavishing a hand in her direction yet keeping my eyes on hers, "I might be forced to kick an ass or two, and our pace would suffer."

"God forbid our turtle pace suffer," she countered drolly, "but thank you, oh fucking hero, for your modern-day take on chivalry."

I laughed so hard I had to stop and lean forward.

Then, about three weeks into our runs, Bella's pace improved to the point where we ran at a speed where I finally hit my runner's high again. Whooping and hollering, I ran literal circles around her, while she frowned and smiled, watching me with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. Afterward, as we stretched post-run, she asked for details, as she often did.

"Edward, explain to me this runner's high because that was some serious rush of adrenaline I just witnessed, what with the fist-pumping," – she threw a fist in the air and pumped it a couple of times – "the whooping and the hollering," – she dropped her voice to a low pitch and whooped and hollered, making me burst out laughing – "and then with the shirt coming off."

"Are you going to re-enact that moment too?"

Yeah, we'd grown more comfortable with one another.

"You wish, you perv."

I snickered guiltily, but when her gaze flashed to my tattoo before quickly jumping back up to me, I briefly wondered if I was the only one whose mind wandered down those avenues more and more. We were no longer simply acquaintances, and while some of our interactions confused the shit out of me with how they bordered between banter and flirtation, I was too fucking chicken shit to push and find out. Then, there was the matter of that elephant in the room – or along the running track to be more precise – the elephant only I saw.

Bella cleared her throat. "It just looked pretty…exhilarating."

"Bella, you have a habit of never quite saying what I think you're about to say."

"What did you think I was about to say?"

There was no point in ruining the perfect mood, the perfect morning, the perfect moment – for either of us. Perhaps later, if the bright sun disappeared, if it rained, and the morning took a nosedive on its own. Maybe if Bella's perfect mood dissipated of its own accord, and she no longer looked quite so carefree or as happy as she looked at that moment. Maybe then, I'd tell her.

Emmett's sardonic words from a few weeks back crossed my mind:

'What, she looked sad again? Or did she look happy and you didn't want to make her sad again? Or was the sun not in the right alignment-'

I shook my head. "Never mind. I'm not sure it matters at this point. But yeah, the runner's high is pretty exhilarating. It'll take a bit, but we can definitely work on getting you there. You're a good runner, Bella, for a novice," I teased.

"Thanks." Her one-word reply sounded distracted. She offered me a vague nod, scrutinizing me yet again as she took a step closer to me. "But I wonder…is the runner's high as exhilarating as sex?"

I couldn't even disguise the manner in which my breath left my lungs. I dropped my arms to my sides and took a step closer to her, swallowing.

"Well…it's been a while for me."

Bella quirked a brow. "Has it?"

"You sound surprised."

"I am," she said.

I snorted. "Why?"

She shrugged, and again, her eyes quickly flashed to my chest. "Lots of reasons. Though I suppose, in your career, the practice of safe sex is highly stressed?"

"It is," I nodded slowly. "But it's more than that."

"Such as?"

Like a deer trapped in bright headlights, I held her gaze, in semi-disbelief that we were actually having this conversation.

"Such as, I'm not a casual sex sort of person. I learned…early on," I smirked, "the dangers inherent in sleeping around. It doesn't mean I judge those who are fine with it," I shrugged. "It's just not…for me."

All the while, Bella held me captive within her dark, sparkling eyes. "Interesting. You still haven't answered my question, though."

I chuckled tensely, raking a hand through my damp hair and scratching my head. "What was the original question again?"

She smiled impishly. "I asked…how does the runner's high compare to actual sex?"

"I suppose…" I fisted my hair, "it's a poor man's substitute."

For a long while, our gazes held. The late October breeze whipped up Bella's ponytail and the ends of my hair. When Bella broke out into fits of laughter, wrapping her hands around her midsection, I scowled at her.

"You can be a fucking she-devil."

"You should see your face, Edward. It's so red." She laughed and laughed. When she finally stopped laughing, she snorted. "Come on. Let's skip coffee this morning. I'll treat you to some nice, cold ice-cream."

"Gee, thanks," I smirked as I followed her.

But in reality, I was on Cloud Nine with how things were going between Bella and me.


A/N: Thoughts?

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