Author's Notes: Just wanted to take a moment to thank those who are supporting this story and for your reviews/faves/follows! Thank you for being patient as well. Enjoy!


Emma watched Henry and Lily interact animatedly as they sat in the living room hours after the funeral and the wake that was held at Granny's diner. Henry seemed to get along with Lily in a way that made Emma feel a mix of relief and guilt at the same time. Henry knew that she'd been staying there at the apartment since the day after the accident, but Emma wasn't sure if he knew that Lily was sleeping in her bed and that they'd been having sex for the last handful of days.

That's all it was between them, sex, and even though Emma knew that Lily was pushing for more, she knew she was also in a state of denial when it came to the nature of their relationship. She could never fall in love with Lily, not when she had feelings for Regina, feelings that just wouldn't disappear easily or with time.

Her earlier interaction with Regina had left her with a lot on her mind, so much in fact that she had become distracted with nothing but thoughts of the way Regina had talked to her. She knew Regina was hurt and deeply affected over the fact that Lily was staying with her and that she was in the middle of an active, sexual relationship with the other woman. She had tried to see it from another point of view, Regina's specifically, and she knew that Regina had every right to feel as hurt and possibly as betrayed as she was feeling.

She should feel guilty, and she did, but knew it didn't matter because there was no way to justify her sudden relationship with Lily to Regina or even to herself. Emma had been so very confused about where her and Regina's relationship was headed and she pulled a bullheaded move, a rather shitty one at that, by allowing Lily to fall into her bed without a second thought.

Emma felt like a horrible person right now because Regina did not deserve to be cast aside like she was nobody. She wasn't a nobody to Emma, not after everything they'd been through. Emma ran her fingers through her hair and headed for her bedroom where she quickly changed out of the clothes she'd worn for the funeral and into a pair of sweats and a light long-sleeved shirt. She grabbed her running shoes from under her bed and laced them up quickly, barely lifting her head when a soft knock sounded on her partially open bedroom door.

"Hey," Lily said with a slight smile. "Where are you going?"

"I need to go for a run."

"Now?"

"Yes, now," Emma snapped and she grabbed a hair elastic off of the dresser and quickly pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail. "And I think when I get back, it might be best if you're not here."

"Emma—"

"I don't want you here," Emma said heavily as she stared at the wide, teary-eyed brunette now standing in front of her. "I made a mistake with you, with inviting you to stay here with me, with falling into bed with you."

"Where is this coming from?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?"

"Yes, it does matter, Emma!"

"I don't know what you want from me!" Emma yelled at her, not caring that her son was just in the other room and likely eavesdropping on their conversation. "You came back into my life during the single worst tragedy this town has ever faced and I was already so confused before you got here!"

"Confused?" Lily asked. "What are you talking about?"

"When you asked me if Regina was my girlfriend, I should've said yes," she said with a tremble in her voice. "I was and still am confused when it comes to her, but I think I'm in love with her."

"How can you think you're in love with someone, Emma?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Of course I wouldn't understand because you have been so guarded since I ran into you the other day at the hospital. I feel like there's some huge secret and it's not just about this town. I'm right, aren't I?" Lily asked and Emma faltered as she stepped around Lily, needing to get out of there before things escalated even further. "Emma, talk to me, please?"

"I can't. I made a mistake inviting you to stay here with me. I—"

"Made a mistake falling into bed with me, leading me on, allowing me to believe that maybe we could find what we had once before."

"We were kids! What the hell did we have other than one night together? It was all based on lies anyway. You know, sometimes I forget just how much you hurt me when I found out you lied to me. You've always had that way about you, haven't you?" Emma stated and she shook her head, laughing incredulously. "I made a mistake, Lily, and it's a damn fucking shame I'm only seeing it now. I want you gone before I get back, out of my apartment and out of my life. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Goodbye," Emma said and she stormed out of the bedroom and shook her head at her son as he looked at her questioningly. "Not now, Henry."

"But—"

"I said not now."

[X]

Emma ran through the trails on the north end of town, focusing on the sound of her feet as they hit the hard dirt ground in a staccato rhythm. She ran until her lungs burned and the sting in her gut told her she'd pushed herself too far, but she was determined to get a second, maybe even a third wind because anything was better than stuck inside her own head with a hundred thousand different thoughts swirling inside, further complicating her entire life.

Kicking Lily out was something she had been debating to do for the last day and a half. It had been her conversation with Regina earlier that really pushed her into making that decision as suddenly as she had.

A small part of her knew she would feel guilty about treating the other woman like that, but a bigger part of her felt guilty for allowing her back into her life in the way she had when she already has something between Regina, something she wasn't sure if she'd ever get back. Not now after Regina knew that she'd been having sex with Lily.

She hadn't told her herself, of course, but she'd seen Regina and her mother talking at the diner. There was no doubt in her mind that Snow had told her, not even thinking nor knowing that she and Regina were in the midst of figuring things out between one another.

She pushed herself harder, fighting back the nausea that crept up as the cramps worsened. She turned on the next trail and continued until the trail suddenly ended where the town line was. Panting, she leaned forward, braced her hands against her knees, and struggled to catch her breath as her thoughts came barreling back to her with a force that left her even more winded.

What the hell had she been thinking having sex with Lily when Regina had clearly expressed an interest in pursuing something more with her? If it hadn't been for that accident, they would've had what she knew was a romantic dinner on her birthday together.

Fighting back the nausea, now caused by more than just pushing herself too hard running, she wiped the small sheen of sweat along her brow and turned back the way she'd came. She had to figure her life out, sort through everything she felt when it came to Regina and figure out just what the hell she truly wanted. The long walk back to civilization gave her time to think when she'd done nothing but avoid facing the inevitable thoughts thundering loudly through her mind.

Henry greeted her with a slight scowl on his face that resembled one his other mother gave when she was angry when she walked into the apartment an hour later. Sighing as she toed off her running shoes, she walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and when she turned away from the fridge, Henry was standing right there.

"Jesus, kid, I didn't hear you sneak up on me."

"She's gone."

"Is she?" Emma asked, unscrewing the cap off the bottle and took a few big sips. "Did she say anything before she left?"

"She called you a bitch," Henry replied evenly. "Left a card with a phone number on it for you though, said it's just in case you change your mind." He handed her a small business card, one she barely glanced at before crumpling up and tossing it into the garbage can. "What was going on with you two anyway, Mom?"

"It's complicated. It was complicated."

"Like things between you and Mom?"

"Henry—"

"I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you lately," he said irritably. "You and Mom were getting along so well before the—the accident and you've been acting weird since before that. What is going on, Mom? Why can't you tell me?"

Emma groaned as she leaned against the counter and stared at her angry, frustrated teenage son. Regardless of what she chose to tell him, she knew he wouldn't leave it alone until she told him the truth. "It's complicated, kid, between your mom and I."

"It's always been complicated between you two!"

"More so now than ever before," she muttered and she shook her head lightly. "Your mom and I, we slept together one night and well, things got way more complicated after that."

"That's who you were with when you came home that morning acting weird?" Henry asked. "I can't believe you!"

"Henry—"

"You had sex with Mom?" His voice squeaked loudly and Emma groaned as she tried to hide her embarrassment. "And what about Lily?"

"That's where I messed up," she sighed.

"You had sex with her too? After you were with my mom?"

"I told you, it's complicated right now, kid. I messed up, big style. Your mom found out about Lily and she's pretty pissed at me right now. Before the accident, we were—I don't know what we were, but it was something more than friends, at least it was headed there."

"And you screwed up by having sex with Lily," Henry stated. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know! People make stupid mistakes all the time and that's all I seem to have been doing ever since—and now I don't know what the hell I'm doing because I'm pretty sure your mom is never going to forgive me for being with Lily."

"Does she love you?" Henry asked and Emma knew exactly who he was talking about. She nodded her head and watched his reaction carefully. "She's in love with you, isn't she? And you screwed up because of what?"

"I'm confused and scared," she admitted. "Your mom and I got a lot of history behind us and not all of it is of the good kind either. I'm scared because I—I have never felt this way about anyone before. Ever."

"Because of who she is and who she used to be?"

"I don't know, kid, I honestly don't know."

"So, you end up having sex with Lily because you're confused and scared about Mom?"

"Shit, this is really screwed up."

Henry scoffed. "What was going on with you two before the accident?"

"I don't know, but there was something happening between us, something new and special. We were going to have dinner that night, just the two of us. I think if the accident never happened that maybe things would be a lot different right now."

"What, you two would be dating or something?"

"I don't even know, kid."

"You know what? I think you do know and you're too much of a coward to admit it!"

"Henry—"

"You're in love with her too, aren't you?" Henry implored and he scoffed again with a subtle shake of his head. "You know she has every right to hate you right now, don't you?"

"I know."

"But you've got to fix it!"

"How?"

"Beats me, I'm just a teenager who knows nothing about love or relationships or how any of that is supposed to work," he sighed loudly and walked up to her and placed his uninjured hand on her shoulder. "I think you start by apologizing and hope to hell that she can forgive you."

"Do you think she will?"

"Maybe, but I'm thinking you don't deserve to be forgiven."

The words stung, especially coming from her son, but she knew he was right. She didn't deserve Regina's forgiveness for the stunt she'd pulled. She didn't deserve Regina to even give her the time of day, especially not after their earlier interaction. When had her life become so screwed up in the first place? Did it start before or after her one-night stand with Regina? She knew she had to figure that out before the rest could fall into place, but in order to do that, she needed to remember the night they'd had together.

And there was only one way to do that, with a memory spell or a potion with similar effects. But with Regina as pissed at her as she was, and Gold's whereabouts unknown, she was out of luck.

[X]

Ruby poured them each the fourth glass of cider and somewhat unsteadily walked back over to sit on the sofa next to Regina in her study. They'd been talking for a few hours and after a strong shot of thirty-year-old scotch, Regina confessed about her feelings when it came to Emma, much to Ruby's surprise. By the third glass, she was muttering about the other woman that was staying with Emma and loosely passing threats of how she would not hold back at throwing a fireball or two her way if she had to see her again.

Regina had expressed her anger towards Emma for pulling such a stubborn, selfish move and for going as far as sleeping with the other woman while they had been at the start of pursuing something together. While she was angry and quite jealous, Ruby had given her pause for thought when she told her that Emma was only acting upon instinct, doing what she was used to doing, hiding behind her walls and choosing what felt like the "safer" option.

"Do you think you could forgive her, Regina?" Ruby asked as she handed Regina her drink. "I know right now you feel like you can't or that she doesn't deserve it, but could you?"

"Perhaps," she replied after a pregnant pause. "Providing she gives me reason to forgive her."

"You love her," Ruby said simply. "Shouldn't that be enough?"

"She had sex with that woman, Ruby."

"But you're not even together," she said pointedly. "I know you were at the start of something, but you know as well as I do just how stubborn Emma can be."

"Not to mention an idiot at the best of times."

"See?" Ruby grinned. "She's an idiot, who you love, who made a real shitty mistake. Give her some time and she'll realize what a mistake she made. This is Emma, Regina, you and I both know that she doesn't always think things through until afterwards. Once she realizes what a stupid mistake she's made she's going to come groveling back to you."

"I'll accept nothing short of her begging for forgiveness while she's on her knees."

"Knelt before the Queen," Ruby chuckled and she raised her glass, the notion not followed by Regina who simply just frowned as she stared into her glass. "So, what are you going to do about this situation, Regina?"

"I am going to step back as I did before," she replied, ignoring Ruby's irritated sigh. "Emma knows how I feel about her and regardless of the situation she's put herself in, it's still her move to make next."

"Nothing is ever cut and dry with you, is it?"

"No, dear, because my life has always been nothing short of complicated," Regina replied with a frown. "Why should things change now, of all times, hmm?"

Ruby's mouth gaped open before she snapped it shut. Regina nodded her head lightly, understanding what Ruby said, the silence now between them speaking volumes. She would forgive Emma, perhaps not easily or soon, but even Ruby knew that day would come no matter how much Emma had truly betrayed her.

Because when it came down to it, love was the more powerful emotion that always won in the end. Betrayal hurt, jealousy stung, and anger flared red-hot beneath her skin, but she just couldn't let go of the feeling of love that rooted deeply in her heart and soul.

Or the fact that her heart still ached for Emma Swan.

[X]

It was later that evening when Emma found herself pacing the living room floor while Henry slept soundly in his room. Just a half an hour prior, she'd received a text from Ruby asking her if they could talk. Emma agreed and told Ruby to meet her at the apartment and there she was waiting for her, not knowing what it was that Ruby wanted to talk to her about that couldn't be done via text or over the phone.

When she received a second text alerting her that Ruby was just downstairs, Emma headed down to let her in, finding her more than just a little intoxicated the moment she swung open the door. Emma hung on to the edge of the heavy door, not allowing Ruby to pass through so that they could head up to her apartment.

"Hey, what gives?"

"Why don't we talk right here," Emma said. "Henry is sleeping and you're not exactly sober."

"You're an idiot," Ruby said with a slight slur to her voice. "You know that, don't you?"

"Ruby, what—"

"I just spent the afternoon with Regina. She's a mess because of you, a broken mess. If she won't fix this, you are going to. Where is she anyway? Where is Lily?"

"Lily is gone. What's it matter to you anyway?"

"Regina told me everything."

"And by everything, you mean—"

"Everything, Em," Ruby replied and she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "She's in love with you, you do know that right?" When Emma just stood there clutching on to the door with one hand and the frame with the other, not saying a word, Ruby growled lowly. "The pair of you, I swear, you're both infuriatingly stubborn! You're practically perfect for each other!"

"Ruby—"

"No, you listen to me, Emma Swan," Ruby said and she jabbed a pointed finger rather painfully into Emma's shoulder. "We both know Regina isn't going to come to you and fix this when it's your fault she's so broken. You need to figure your shit out and fix things between you two."

"Is this why you came over? To do nothing but lecture me about fixing this mess between Regina and I? God, Ruby, I don't—I can't even figure this out on my own, so how the hell am I supposed to fix this when I can't figure out why I—"

"Do you love her?"

"Ruby—"

"I know you are in love with her, Em, and you are going to lose her if you don't fix this soon. What you just pulled, it was a shitty move and I know that you know that, but this is low even for you," Ruby said, jabbing her once more for good measure. "And that woman, Lily, she better hope to hell she stays away because if I don't stop her from coming between you two, there's no telling what Regina will do to her. There were mentions of fireballs—"

"Stop," Emma sighed as she held up a hand, not wanting to be on the other end of Ruby's drunken rambling. "I know I fucked up, okay! I just—I don't even know how I am going to fix this, how I'm going to get Regina to forgive me. I don't deserve her to forgive me."

"Maybe not, but you're going to fix this," Ruby stated and with a small smile, she pointed to herself. "And I'm going to help you in any way that I can. So, here's what I'm thinking…"