AN : man this is going slower than I wanted it too. So longer chapters may be in place in the future and there's going to be a ridiculous amount of flashbacks. I didn't plan this as well as I thought...

Thank you all for the comments, you are all lovely

DISCLAIMER : see chapter one


Dear Henry,

There was once a theory that stars were finite. That the gravitational pulls were in equilibrium with others. Hence, why they do not pull to the center of the universe and collapse. Although that proved to be unstable. That is why it is infinite, the universe.

But when the theory of a finite universe with finite stars. If one star got too close to another it would break whatever equilibrium between the other stars and gravitate towards the one star. But if it was pushed by some other force, it will continue to gravitate away. Because other forces would dominate and drive them further apart, because they are now too far apart.

Let's pretend that theory is relevant to humans.

The further away one another is, the further apart they push away

The closer they are, the more dominate the force between them becomes.

You're probably wondering where all this knowledge of stars are coming from. Well it comes from a girl. A girl I once knew as Krystina. She was simply a cook at first. But people, Henry, aren't always what they seem. Although you know that too well don't you?

I wish...I knew that at your age too.

-love mom

"You know, you're more accident prone than any child I've ever encountered." Regina watched as Lily put a band aid on her arm.

"That was definitely your fault."

"Well you shouldn't have startled me."

"How can someone startle you when they're in crutches?"

"Like you said, you wanted to gain the title of Master of the Crutches, and you have. You were so quiet. Congratulations."

"I hate you."

"You're welcome blue. Isn't that technically your color now? Blue?" Regina poked her bruised arm.

"Ow! Hey! I don't poke your bruised waist!"

"That's because I'm faster than you at the moment." She glanced at her crutches.

"It's temporary, I get my stitches off tomorrow. Stupid glass. That one was your fault too."

"Are you going to sit here and complain or can we actually finish before the end of the month?"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine."

"Hey Lily?"

"Yes?"

Regina slapped her bruised arm and ran into the kitchen.

"Ow! Hey-! Regina!"

Regina cackled.

-LATER-

They lay staring at the ceiling for an hour, "Regina?"

"Hmmm?" Regina hummed back listening to Lily's iPod play Damien Rice, "I don't want to change you'

"I can't believe we sold everything. Even my bed and your couch." Lily sat up and stretched, still sitting and began reaching her toes

Regina snapped a photo and Lily jumped up with a small squeal.

"Did you just-?" Lily looked at Regina fanning the photo.

Regina smirked at her and fanned the new photo, "imagine your life in motionless shapes."

Lily raised her eyebrow, "frozen in time?"

Regina nodded and held the photo for her to see.

"Well at least you got my good side," Lily laid back onto the make-shift bed of sheets and pillows, "adding this to your mysterious journal? Are you going to include the weird photo of me in crutches on the metro too?"

Regina smiled, holding the photo up, "yes. I include every photo I take. I'm going to write, 'petty arguments are best not to invest in,' under it."

Lily laid back down, "how noble of you to speak of poultry arguments."

"I do my best."

They lay now, letting the music wound around their ears.

They listened and when Regina spoke again, it felt like a knife cutting through fabric, "I got us bus tickets."

"When? I mean it's not like we have time anymore," Lily looked at the spinning fan.

"Remember when I went to the store to buy berries? Before the movies?"

"Yes?"

"Well you wondered why I took so long. In all fairness, there was a deal on two for the price of one."

Lily frowned, "you got tickets? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know... It's scheduled for next week."

"Oh."

Silence tore it's way into a dark ambience.

"So...what would have happened if we didn't sell everything by then?"

The song played over twice before Lily spoke again, "you were just going to leave weren't you?"

Regina sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. If she looked weak, she couldn't care less anymore- she already smiles for this damn ex-waitress.

Softly, she hoped only the whispers of her hair could hear, "yes."

It was quiet once more. Regina began to wonder if Lily fell asleep.

Then...

"I still would have run after you. Crutches and all."

Regina felt her lips disobey her by forming into a slow smile.

"So we're leaving next week?" Lily got up and leaned more on her right foot.

Regina looked up, seeing the bright outline of her like the corona of the moon, "yes."

Lily smiled that same smile she's given so freely to Regina that her stomach rolled and tumbled, "okay, I have my bags packed and ready."

Then she limped into her room, closing the door she said, "goodnight you goddamn purple journal."

Her lips betrayed her once more by smirking, "Goodnight Lily."

Regina felt euphoria coiling around her being that she didn't sleep for quite some time. Instead she stared at the dark ceiling fan spinning and spinning. While this former queen laid in sheets and pillows in the living room, a savior was packing her bag for her journey to Washington D.C.


Past

They couldn't find her.

Emma was panicking.

Regina had gone missing and Mary Margaret and Charming suggest they just...move forward.

Killian said he'll stand by her side.

Emma grumbled, "we have to find her!"

"She chose to walk off! It's not your fault!" Mary Margaret stood straight as an immovable force in front of her daughter who is as recusant as her.

"We're finding her." Emma clenched her sword.

"We're moving forward." Mary Margaret reached to touch Emma, "she chose to-"

"No!" Emma took a step back, "I don't know what we did but we have to find her. She's Henry's mom too."

Mary Margaret looked to Charming who seemed to shrink in his wife's gaze, "my dear husband..." She smiled, "it's Regina's fault for walking off, don't you agree?"

He looked to his daughter and his wife.

"DAD," Emma smiled as well, "we have to find her right?"

"Well..."

"We have to find Henry," Mary Margaret looked back to Emma, "would if Regina gets to him first and leaves us?"

"She won't do that!" Emma practically shouted.

"Well how do you know?!" The former outlaw sighed and held up her hands.

"The woman has a point Emma," Killian spoke up.

"Shut up you!" Mary Margaret pointed one of her arrows towards him as he shifts away.

She turned back to Emma, "how Emma? You've only known her for a year! I've known her over half my life!"

"Because I trust her!" Emma was so close to her mother she could see that slight change in Mary Margaret's face.

The change that shows wrinkles her brows, and a slight turn of her lip. She didn't believe her.

"I did once too."

"Okay, how about we flip a coin?" Charming stepped in front of the two important women in his life.

"No!" Emma sounded as if he was joking, "are you kidding me? Henry's MOM. His only mom he knew for ten years is missing! Would if she didn't just walk off?! She doesn't do this! She promised me-"

Mary Margaret's head turned so fast Emma thought she heard it pop.

"Promise?"

Emma stopped her words, "yes. Promised. She promised me, her and I are in this together. No. Matter. What."

Emma's eyes opened, her body felt tired and...slimy. She groaned and sat up on her elbows. She looked up and around. A dimly lit cave by candle light, it looked ominous and impossibly shiny. The walls reflected each little speck of water dripping from them. Her head felt heavy and fusty.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

They found her. They found Regina and Emma reassured herself. They're going to continue this...together.

With a fairy named Tinker Bell.

She frowned.

Then she started to recount her memories. They found Regina, and...Tinker Bell. She supposed she was never going to get use to using that name casually. They were asking her questions when her and Regina fell...and...

Ah crap.

Emma shot up and the movement itself nearly caused a scream from her muscles.

"Careful, you were just drained by our special seaweed."

Emma turned to look at the red haired mermaid who took Regina. Who...now had legs. Emma decided that wasn't important right now.

"You." Emma walked forward but the mermaid held up her hand, stopping Emma in place.

Emma growled, "let go of me."

She smiled, "the lost boys talked about you. Although they didn't mention how spicy you are. My, my, I'm almost tempted to keep you too. But blondes aren't my thing."

Emma's head tilted, "blondes?"

The mermaid smiled, "hello, my names Attina."

"Where's Regina?"

Attina's smiles widen, "you mean the brunette witch? Oh she's fine. She's just resting in my chambers."

Emma frowned, "let her go."

"I thought you wanted yourself let go? Change so soon?"

Emma conjured whatever magic lied within her and felt anger.

She let it envelop her and focused, "I'm giving you one chance fish."

Attina merely smirked, "can't wait...savior. Besides... Regina will wake up soon from my touch, clearheaded, and she'll remember."

Then she teleported. Regina usually teleports with purple smoke. This was different, water roared and twisted around her body then fell to the floor with a splat.

Emma felt it then, hatred.

She let it course through her and focused.

"Dammit Ms. Swan! Focus!"

"Do you always have to use that same line!?"

"Well I wouldn't have to if you were just focused! You're just concentrating! You don't 'concentrate'! You feel! Feel where Henry is!"

"If you're so smart why don't you do it?"

"...because I'm not his biological mother. Now if we want to find our son and not be pestered by an adolescents words about a blank map, then focus so we can find Henry."

"But you said this locater spell can also be used to find true loves! Aren't you his? Like motherly?"

"I didn't wake him up and break a curse."

"What about if you have a special connection? You said locater spells work if there's a special connections too!"

"*scoff* Henry hasn't given me a proper hug in a couple years Ms. Swan. I don't care how limited your thinking is, just focus and feel and we'll find him."

She felt, closed her eyes and felt her.

Despite everything, she knew Regina and her were connected, whether it by cursed roles or by Henry, but she was going to find her.

Be damned mermaids with the name Attina.

Be damned those stupid seaweed.

Then her heart seemed to fill with warmth. The kind of warmth that is felt when someone you love embraces you, or when you press your lips against theirs and your stomach flutters. Although, Emma wouldn't know because the person she's finding is Regina.

Either way she felt it then.

She knew exactly where Regina was. Her feet echoed the walls of the damp cave. She jumped over a rock, diving into the murky black water and swam.

###

Mary Margaret wrapped her sweater more firmly around her waist, "it's getting cold here."

Tink narrowed her eyes, "yeah. It's right up here."

They stopped in front of a high arch cave, blue light from the moon shined down upon them. Killian glared, his hand and hook were bound by vine and his mouth covered in a torn part of Mary Margaret's shirt.

"Don't be too excited now pirate," David clasped his hand around his shoulder and pushed him forward.

"Let's go."

But Mary Margaret stood.

"Snow?" David stopped, "ready?"

Her face displayed uncertainty, "if what Tink and Killian said is true-"

Killian mumbled past his make-shift mussel an affirmed noise of annoyance.

Tink took a step forward, "if you want to get to Regina and Emma, this is your last chance," she squeezed her shoulder bag, still feeling the steady beat of Regina's heart, "common."

Killian glared at the couple but walked to Tinker Bells side, his stance and eyes speaking words of, "you asked for this."

Together, they walked in. Charming and Snow evidentially followed hand in hand.

Halfway through the cave, Tink felt Regina's heartbeat quicken. She began to worry.

"Tinker Bell?" They were half way through the cave when Mary Margaret's voice projected throughout the cave, erupting the silence ten fold from the echoes of her voice.

"Yes?" Tinks' accent reverberated throughout the stone walls.

"What did you mean by, 'she likes brunettes?'"

The fairy hesitated before looking at Killian, "I think, in these circumstances, Killian would be the best choice to ask."

Charming shook his head, "absolutely not."

They stopped and Mary Margaret answered, "okay."

"Wha-? But-" Mary Margaret smiled sweetly at her husband, his knees weakened and he sighed, "fine."

He walked to the pirate and tore off his make-shift mussel.

Killian stretched his jaw, "that really gets you."

"One would think you'd be use to bonds." Charming said.

Killian raised his brow, "how about we stay focused on saving Emma and the witch."

"You're right," Mary Margaret spoke, "so what do we have to worry about with Attina?"

Killian took a deep breathe, as if it's difficult to even say, "she rejected me because I wasn't a magical brunette. She thought because I can travel through lands I harbored magical properties. But that wasn't the case."

"Why?" Snow spoke.

"Powerful magical beings like gods and demigods absorb other magical powers. That's how they stay powerful."

"I didn't even know you speak anything intelligible besides booze and my daughter," Charming spoke and Mary Margaret hit him and hissed a shush.

Killian sighed, "if you're going to keep insulting me-"

"Killian! Just tell them!" Tink held the bridge of her nose.

He stared deadpan at the Charmings, "she eats brunettes. Steals their power and the rest by cooking and feeding them to her mermaids."

###

Humming.

She hummed a lullaby.

Soft and slow.

You are my sunshine,

My darling sunshine,

You make me happy,

Her hair was a fiery auburn and her eyes were as grey and blue as the ocean itself. When her eyes met sunlight, the water of her eyes became a sunset orange.

It was her eyes. Her eyes always captured her. They always swallowed her into the deepest depths of the ocean.

"See that star cluster there my sunshine?" Regina could feel her voice vibrate against her back.

They sat in a tree, Regina's back to her front, "yes."

"What does it look like to you?"

Regina frowned, her childlike features scrunched in concentration, "like a swan."

"No my dear, their name is Cassiopeia, named after a vain queen. She boasted and shouted her beauty was greater than that of sea nymphs and shouted her daughters beauty. Both were punished."

Regina frowned, "I don't get it. What's so wrong about beauty, that they were punished?"

"Beauty is..," she grabbed Regina's hand, "dangerous to those who use them to get what they want."

"Am I beautiful?"

She smiled against the smaller girls hair, and Regina felt it, the smile that always leads to a kiss to her temple.

Then she heard her voice, sweet and so soft one would think she's afraid someone may hear her, and maybe she wasn't entirely wrong, "Regina, you're the fairest in the land."

The sound of shattering glass awoke her and she shot up. Body reverberating with shock and mild confusion. Her mouth slightly opened as she breathed. She couldn't remember. She remembered water, fins, magical bonds, and...

Her eyes widen and her breath caught in her esophagus, she tried getting up. The floor felt oddly soft. It wasn't until she was on her feet that she realized she was lying on a bed. She took a few shaky steps then her legs gave out as a pair of hands grabbed her from behind.

She gasped and twitched, like her energy was used all at once. Her body felt limp and weak. Her breathing was shallow and deep as her vision blurred, a voice so sweet and dark and...familiar spoke

"Hush now Regina,"

Her heartbeat quickened.

"I haven't used that spell on you in so long, you must be tired."

"No..." Her voice sounded small and shallow, "please tell me it's not you..." She pleaded so meekly, it wasn't just her mother that broke everything inside her.

No, one woman couldn't be the only one that ruined her childhood.

"Oh it is," Regina felt her smile against her forehead as this person kissed her temple, she grimaced from the waves of unwanted nostalgia.

"I told you, all those years ago," Regina succumbed to weakness as her legs bent and folded beneath her, the pair of arms tightened as she sat behind her, "you will never be free of me. And now that Mommys not here to banish me, I have you all to myself."

Regina mustered up all the courage she had left to say through clenched teeth, "let me go."

The arms around her seem to falter, "you know...your blonde friend said the same thing."

Regina stopped her meek struggling and snapped her head up, "Emma? What did you do? Don't you dare touch her," her voice displayed an unspoken threat as often used as the evil queen, she began twisting and turning her body violently, finding renewed energy, "let me go!"

The arms tightened around her and she felt her energy drain once more.

"Hush now darling, I don't want to have to take your magic away again. Now listen to me..."

Regina closed her eyes and tried not to let that rhythmic voice of hers to overwhelm her, "Remember when we talked about the stars all night long? Well..." She brushed Regina hair out of her face and Regina stiffened and pulled away, "we have so many new stars now, just like I promised...my sweet little princess. New place, new constellations, but remember what I told you?"

Regina thought about it and scrunched her face in annoyance, "no."

"It's been too long my princess, I don't blame you. Cassiopeia, our constellation will always be there. Did you see it? Can you even find it in those cluster of million and millions of stars?"

"Let me go!" Regina did it again, pushed and propelled her body.

But then she hummed, she hummed that lullaby, 'you are my sunshine.'

Regina's body entirely deflated and leaned fully on her capturer, "I've never had to use so much just to calm you before. My my! You've gotten stronger my sunshine. The last time I used that song was around...what was his name? That stable boy. Oh, what was his name?" She practically sang her sentences.

Regina closed her eyes, pain etching it's way into her chest, "Daniel."

Regina began to think Neverland just hated her.


Present

"Dammit Mary Margaret! You knew I was looking for her! We have to find her!" Emma stood in the living room, red covering her face.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't sure if it was her I didn't-" Mary Margaret sat on the couch looking up at her daughter, worry and guilt etching her visage.

"How?" Emma stood arms crossed.

Her mother shifted on the couch, opening then closing her mouth.

"HOW?" Emma leaned into that, projecting her voice higher.

"I-I know you've been trying to use the locater spell you used in Neverland, but...I didn't think it would work. Really. So I tried it by using fairy dust...and I didn't..." She trailed off, shrinking into herself.

"You didn't what?" Emma's voice became more firm, as she knelt in from of her mother

"You didn't what Mary Margaret?" She grabbed her hands.

The woman in question merely looked away, "I found her using the locator spell...I've seen you and Regina bicker over it a hundred times...and we found her. Then I searched...online for clarity."

Emma's heart seemed to become heavier with each word her mother said, "she stayed at a hotel in Washington for a month..."

Emma sighed, "why? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Mary Margaret opened and closed her mouth again, as if deciding over and over what should be said.

When she did the ceiling collapsed and in fell Henry and Peaches.

"I thought you said you could control your teleportation!" Henry groaned and turned under Peaches, whom fell on top of him.

"I'm still new."

Emma jumped, watching as Peaches rolled off him, "Henry!? What-what are you doing?"

Henry sat up rubbing his neck, "I just wanted to know..."

"Are you-?"

"Just peachy," he looked to Peaches who looked back with a glare.

Emma looked to her mother, "your grandmother was about to tell me how she found Regina."

"Or!" A voice spoke from the kitchen, "you can actually notice me and ask me instead," there sat Kathryn, holding a glass of apple juice.

"Kathryn?" Peaches got up.

"Hey Peaches, " the blonde smiled.

Emma seemed startled she didn't notice her, "when-? Nevermind. What do you mean ask you?"

Mary Margaret fidgeted, "that's what I'm trying to tell you Emma... Kathryn volunteered to be used as a locater."

Emma frowned, "what?"

Kathryn looked around sheepishly but seemed to find courage as her voice conveyed a sense of gumption, "I did."

Emma's frown deepened, "you...?"

"She loves you," Henry spoke up as if connecting the dots of a puzzle game, and Emma hoped severely "she" didn't mean Regina.

Both Kathryn and him made eye contact.

"And I love her," Kathryn smiled, "despite everything, Regina's my best friend." Emma felt like she was drowning.

"And locater spells can be used to find people you love," Peaches thought about it, "wait...you don't have magic...and you just...found her?"

Kathryn nodded, "like I said, she's my best friend."

"But I-" Emma dug her hands in her pockets, "I did that spell before and found her. Then I tried it over and over here. Why-how?"

"Blue said Regina doesn't want to be found..." Mary Margaret shifted more and Emma's eyes narrowed, causing a chasm of impervious solitude.

"So how did Kathryn-?"

"She thinks I'm dead. So by fault, it wouldn't extend to me."

Henry seemed startled by that, "wait...that's doesn't make sense. Why would she think you're...dead?"

Kathryn looked to Mary Margaret's broken visage, she nodded to the blonde, giving her unknown permission, "well...I knew it would be a matter of time before you asked."

Emma squeezed her nails into her palms, creating crescent moons. Henry scooted closer to his friend. Peaches looked merely curious.

"She called me the day she left, to help take down the border around Storybrooke."

Regina couldn't breathe. She sat in a corner holding her muffled sobs into the palms of her hands.

She called Kathryn.

"Hello?"

Regina sniffed and cleared her throat, mustering her mayoral voice which came out in smooth octaves, "hello? Kathryn?"

The blonde on the other end froze, she looked at her phone curiously, then slowly she placed the phone to her ear, and almost in disbelief, "Regina?"

"I-," how does one ask someone for something so huge? Something so...needed. How do you even remotely just...ask?

"I need your help." Regina sat in the corner of her kitchen, holding her stomach and clutching the phone so hard she was surprised it didn't crack in her hands.

"Why would I ever help the evil queen?" Kathryn leaned against the table in her dinning room.

"You've never called me that before," Regina slightly leaned and banged her head against the cabinets, clutching the fabric of her shirt tighter.

"That's before I found out what you did in Neverland. God Regina, don't you even have a sense of right and wrong?" Kathryn sat down, and held the bridge of her nose, "Snow told me..."

Regina breathed, "I did it to protect everyone. To protect Henry."

"But you did it in front of him. Do you realize how traumatized he is?"

"I do."

"No, you don't. You haven't even seen him, or spent time with him."

Regina voice lost her mayoral touch and voiced the broken woman sitting on her kitchen floor, "No... No, I guess you're right. But I do realize it. I realize it every time he picks up the phone and doesn't exactly...talk to me. I realized it in our last hug. And god Kathryn it hurts so much..."

Kathryn sat there, fidgeting with the cloth covering the table, while holding the phone in the other, "is that why you called me? To comfort you?"

Regina almost laughed, "no. I've been so alone for so long I have myself for that."

"Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you call me? You never do. Not even when the curse broke. Not once."

"I can't be here anymore."

"You mean...metaphorically kidding or literally?"

Regina chuckled low and sadly, "no. I mean I can't be here in Storybrooke."

Kathryn was silent for awhile that Regina had to make sure she was still there.

"Kathryn?"

"I'm still here."

"What..." Regina didn't know how to approach this, "what are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that the barrier is still up and that you'll lose your memory. So what do you need my help for?"

"I...I know how to take it down."

Kathryn looked up from her reverie of folding the cloth in her hand, "what?"

"I know how to take the barrier down, but I need your help."

"Why?"

"Because love exists in many forms," Regina figured if she just went straight to the point this would move much faster, "and you're the only friend I've ever had in my entire life that has been nice...and good...and everything a friend should be."

Kathryn smiled, "is the notorious evil queen saying she loves me?"

"As much as a best friend could."

"I love you too, as much as a best friend of an evil hell-bend woman can."

Regina smiled that same broken smile she's only ever given Emma, "meet me at the town border."