Thanks for the replies. Zoe, thank you so much for your kind words. I wish everyone was that accepting and open-minded.

_________________

Summer knocked on Marissa's door, her knees knocking together like a pair of maracas. She was about to pound harder when the door flew open and Marissa appeared, staring at her oddly. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," Marissa said, ushering her inside.

It didn't take much prompting for Summer to spill her guts and half an hour later, she'd blabbed almost all there was to tell.

"I... he...we..." Summer proceeded to explain to Marissa the edited version of mortal sin she'd committed with Seth Cohen or at she attempted to at least make sense of it.

"Well," Marissa began, eyeing Summer carefully. "You liked it, right?"

Summer felt her cheeks heat, which was strange considering it took a lot to get her embarrassed and she'd surely razed Marissa about things far worse; but they weren't talking about some random hook-up, some guy she'd met at the beach or stumbled into at a wild party, they were talking about Seth Cohen and she'd never had these type of feelings before. "Duh. That's just a stupid question, Coop."

Marissa continued as if Summer hadn't spoken. "And Seth didn't seem to mind...doing that."

"Coop, if you have a point, get to it, please," Summer said strained, her face going three shades darker red.

Marissa smiled. "I guess, I just don't see what the problem is."

Summer's eyes widened, her jaw dropping. "I let Seth Cohen do that to me on the freakin' stage at school, Coop! You don't see a problem with that?"

"I kinda saw it as inevitable, maybe not the way it happened, but Ryan and I always figured you two would eventually hook-up."

Summer pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her hands. "How come no one told me?"

Marissa laughed, pulling Summer's hands from her face. "Sum, please, you can't say you didn't see this coming..." Summer's eyes narrowed, her lips thinning. Marissa caught on quickly and giggled. "Oh, no pun intended -- I don't know why you don't just let it happen."

"I did let it happen," Summer said, letting her legs drop and crossing them on the couch, hugging her arms around herself. "I mean, we're, like, a couple." She bit her lip, took a quick look at Marissa. "Ew! I've never been in, like, a relationship before and I have to pick Seth Cohen to fall in love with?"

"Whoa," Marissa gasped. "In love? Those are two words I never expected coming from your mouth and especially not about Seth Cohen, but...well, I've never seen you this happy before. I mean, look at you, you're downright giddy," she said, poking Summer in the side.

Summer smacked Marissa's hand away and tried to hide her smile. "Coop, stop! I am not."

"Oh, I think you are."

Summer shrugged. "Maybe I am. A little. It feels good though, like I can do anything. I mean, Seth, he's just so...Seth. He makes me believe in myself. I've never had that before. Is it like that with Ryan?"

Marissa nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe you just left though."

Summer closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto the couch. "Uh, yeah. I kinda didn't know what to do."

"Not leaving would have been a good start."

"I know, but I was just... I dunno. Like, there he was and if I didn't get out of there... well, let's just say Cohen would have really good material to write to Penthouse about."

"Sum!"

Summer sighed, picking up her head and looking at Marissa. "Well, it's true. Besides, his father is still suing my father and I might have said some things that weren't too nice."

"You were upset, I'm sure he gets that."

"Still, I've never been one for conversation after... well, you know. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I don't even want to know what he's thinking. He's been nothing but supportive with me. Staying with me while my dad was away, taking care of me while I was drunk, making me breakfast-"

"Wait, Seth 'cereal-is-my-life' Cohen, actually cooked?"

Summer laughed wistfully. "Yeah, it was pretty good, too. See, that's the point, all these years, he's just been that guy I sometimes caught staring at me in the hall or the kid we sometimes made fun of, but now, he's, like, Seth Cohen, the guy I can't stop thinking about. It's weird. He even got me to enter an art show."

"Really? You still do that? I thought you said you weren't really that serious about it."

"I guess I lied," she said, avoiding Marissa's eyes. "I just didn't think you'd understand."

"I haven't been much of a friend lately," Marissa said, her eyes on the carpet.

Summer took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "No, don't say that."

"Why not, it's true." Marissa looked up, her eyes huge.

"Remember the time I left you at the mall and you had to walk home in the pouring rain because I went off with Jimmy Parson's just because he was a senior and could drive?"

Marissa shook her head, not making the connection. "That was years ago, Summer."

Summer nodded. "Yeah, but my point is, I hurt you, but you eventually forgave me. It's the same thing. Okay?"

Marissa seemed to think it over and after a minute of contemplation, she agreed. "Okay."

"Look, Coop, it's been fun and all, but if I don't get my ass in gear I'm going to be late for this stupid play and I don't want Cohen to worry."

Marissa grinned broadly.

"Don't even say it," Summer warned, reaching for her bag on the table.

"Say what?" Marissa asked innocently.

"Whatever smart remark you were going to make." She picked the backpack up from the wrong end and sent the contents in all directions around the room. "Great. Just great."

"Here, I'll help," Marissa offered.

"Thanks." Summer bent down and started to put things back into her school bag, picking up a paper and giving it a quick scan. "Oh, God."

"What?"

Summer looked up, her face ashen. "The show. It's tonight."

Marissa looked at her strangely. "Yeah, I know, you better hurry up or you'll be late, we've covered this."

Summer hurriedly grabbed the things Marissa had picked up from the floor and stuck them in her bag, mumbling to herself. "No, this is not happening. It can't be tonight."

"Sum? It's going to be fine. You know your lines and Seth will be there to help you if you get stuck, besides it's just a play." Marissa looked at her friend, concerned.

Summer shook her head slowly. It suddenly felt too heavy and a wave of nausea went through her. "No, not the play. The art show. I must have gotten the dates mixed up. It's tonight and the play is tonight ...and oh, god, what am I going to tell Seth? Coop, what am I going to do?"

"Hey girls," Jimmy said, carrying a plate of food in from the kitchen, oblivious to the crisis being played out on his living room floor. "Snacks?" he offered, setting them down on the table in front of Summer. He reached out and picked up Summer's open portfolio that had fallen from her backpack - she'd forgotten to take it out after Seth helped her set-up her art the other day. He flipped through the pages and whistled through his teeth. "These are great."

"Thanks," Summer said absently, getting up from the floor.

Jimmy pulled out a photo of a sunset and inspected it closer. "Do you mind if I show this to my boss? We're running this campaign for sunglasses and this picture would make an excellent background for our print ads." He handed her back the black leather binder that contained the rest of her pictures.

"Sure, go ahead," Summer said, a little less enthusiastically than what was appropriate considering what he was asking, but she really wasn't thinking about herself, she was thinking about Seth and what she was going to do about the play and art show.

Art was her real passion, but the play had been surprisingly fun and acting with Seth had its benefits, too, but how could she choose her passion if it meant letting Seth down? Summer had always been a selfish person, but that only came out of necessity; there was no one looking out for her, so she had to take for herself or get burned, there had never been any one there depending on her and for the first time in her life...there was. It was a lot to take in.

Jimmy left the room, his eyes glued to the photograph. Marissa stood beside Summer and touched her shoulder. "You okay, Sum?"

"I have to go find Seth," Seth said, throwing the folder into her backpack with the rest of her stuff.

"Okay," Marissa said, unsure.

"I... I don't know what to do," Summer said honestly as she made her way to the door, Marissa closely behind. "Seth's depending on me, but... I-I have to go," she said again and was out the door without a look back.

_______

While Summer had bolted out of the auditorium, Seth had been slower to leave, mostly because he didn't think walking around with an erection was a smart thing to do. So, once that was...resolved, Seth knew exactly where he had to go...and since Ryan was still at soccer practice, he went to the next reasonable source, but since his mother was in a meeting, he settled for his last option...

He took the stairs to the office and bypassed his father's secretary, bursting into the room without knocking.

Sandy looked up from his desk and smiled when he saw his son.

Seth flattened his hands on his father's desk and sat on the edge of a chair. "Dad, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be straight with me."

Sandy settled back in his own chair and put his hands together under his chin. "Okay, go ahead, son."

Seth took a deep breath and made sure to look his father in the eye. If there was one thing he shared with his father -besides his sense of humour, which he was reluctant to admit- it was definitely his inability to lie. Seth knew that when he lied he never looked a person in the eye, so if his father was lying that would be the dead give away. "Are you suing Summer's father?"

Sandy looked at a spot behind Seth's head. Ha! Liar! "Seth, you know I can't disclose that kind of information."

Seth rocked in his chair, his leg nervously bouncing up and down. "Dad, come on."

"My firm has some interest in Mr. Roberts' business practices."

"So, that's a yes."

Sandy bobbed his head slowly. "Yes."

Seth sat back fully on the chair and stretched out his legs in front of him. "Well, could you, like, maybe, not sue him?"

Sandy's eyes narrowed, concerned creasing his forehead. "What's all this about?"

Seth tried to articulate it into words, but his frustration won out and he threw his hands in the air before just going for the jugular. "It's just that Summer barely sees her Dad as it is and now with this new lawsuit, he's at the office all the time and Summer's alone... it's just... It's not right, Dad. People like that should not be parents," Seth said, becoming more animated by the second. "I mean, you're a busy guy, but you come home and go to Ryan's soccer games and are coming to see my play and you make time for mom. But Summer...she doesn't have anyone...well, she has me, but she didn't always and it's just not right. She's been through enough with her mom leaving... She can't even spend the night alone, I'm still not really sure why. I guess she gets freaked out... I mean, that time you and mom pulled a Home Alone on me for an hour when I was twelve really scarred me, so I can't imagine being left alone for a few days, see what I'm saying? Dad, if you knew her... How could anyone not want to be around her? She's like the sweetest, smartest, sexist girl I've ever met. Uh, ignore that last part. I got carried away."

Sandy shook his head, used to his son's diatribes. He focussed on the most important points. "If Summer's being neglected, there are things we can do. I could give Janice Maloy a call at Child Ser-"

"Dad, no!" Seth held his hands up, cutting off his father. "That's the last thing Summer needs and she'd hate me. Couldn't you, I dunno, talk to Mr. Roberts or something? She just needs...well, she needs a father and I don't think that's asking too much."

Sandy's eyes connected with his son's. "No, that's not too much to ask. I'll give it a try, son."

Seth stood, his smile luminous. "Thanks, pops." Sandy stood also, following his son to the door. Seth turned at the last second and gave him a hug. "Really, I mean it."

Sandy squeezed his son, patted him on the back a few time and then pushed him away, mussing his hair. "All right, get out of here. Don't you have a play to act in?"

Seth smiled again, his dimples showing. "Yeah, I better go. You'll be there, right?"

Sandy nodded. "Wouldn't miss it."

Taking a few steps, Seth stopped and turned. "Leave the video camera at home, though. Please?"

"You'll be lucky if you get off that easy, your mother probably hired a whole crew to film the thing. Oh, which reminds me, I'm going to have to bring a box of Kleenex. You know how emotional your mother gets."

Seth let out a loud snort of disbelief. "Right, Dad. Sure, blame mom. You're the one they had to tell to shut up at my guitar recital in the fifth grade."

"You were so much better than that other kid, it was an injustice."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Dad."

"It was!" Sandy stated firmly.

"And now you know why I quit guitar," Seth said, shaking his head and walking away.

______

Summer didn't know if she had made the right decision or not, but there was no turning back. She waited patiently for Seth while her nerves began a jig in her stomach. It was bad enough that she'd just left him after he'd done...things to her on the stage while she had an emotional breakdown and blamed him for her father's absentee parenting skills, but now she was going to leave him on opening night so she could fulfill her own glory-seeking while he had to act with the totally inept thespian reject who probably still hadn't learned all her lines.

Seth approached her. "Hey," he said, bending down and kissing her cheek softly.

"Hey," she replied, the jig in her stomach turning into frigging The Lord of the Dance.

She felt herself melting and she'd never been the type of girl to describe herself as melting. Melting was for chocolate or ice cream and she clearly was not that sweet...well, she never used to be. At least not in front of anyone other than Marissa. Clearly, she couldn't do this when she had Michael Flatley in her stomach, especially not with Seth looking so puppy dog cute... And now she was even starting to think like him, in his adorable, muddled, weird-ass references kinda way. Her cheeks felt hot. Hell, her whole body felt hot as she looked Seth over and remembered exactly how he'd made her feel in the afternoon during her time of...need, and now she was just going to abandon him. Summer cleared her throat, avoiding his eyes...those damn beautiful brown eyes. "I'm sorry about this afternoon."

Seth took her hand, smiled that soft smile with just a hint of dimples and an abundance of warmth. "Don't be. I'm not. And it's totally cool, I've got my dad working on the whole lawsuit thing, so don't even think about it, okay?" Seth stopped, his eyes clouding. "Or wait...do you mean you're sorry it happened...whatever did happen? You know, with the...you know."

This time Summer looked at him when she spoke. "No, no. That's not it at all. Just... it's a little weird, isn't it? I mean, between us. 'Cause, I kinda just ran out on you. It was... yeah. But you're okay with everything?"

Seth squeezed her hand and it was reassuring and damning all at the same time. If she'd ever agree to being called a bitch, now was the time. "Yeah. You?"

"Like I said, I'm okay. I just feel a little silly for rushing out like that. But yeah, you're okay with everything then?" Summer asked, knowing she was being redundant, but the longer they danced around the events of the afternoon, the longer she could avoid telling him about the art show.

Seth laughed, nodding. "I'm great. So great, in fact, that I got these for you," he said, producing a bouquet of flowers form behind his back. The situation was going from bad to worse. She just had to take a deep breath and tell him the truth and bare the consequences. He held up one hand to stop her from speaking. "I know, I know, I'm not supposed to give these to you until after we go on, but I think you deserve them now." Seth must have sensed her reluctance or discomfort because he just kept talking. "It's, like, a thing people do on opening night. It's, like, a tradition or something. Don't stomp on tradition, Summer. Here, just take them and pretend they're from some water polo guy." Seth handed her the flowers.

"They're from you, that's a hundred times better than from some dumb jock." Summer smelled them and wanted to cry. She was not one to get sentimental, especially over flowers, but Seth had obviously put a lot of thought into it. He'd even gotten a few orchids in the bunch -her favourite- a whole bouquet would have been overpowering, but a few of the delicate beauties were just pretty enough to make her guilt triple.

Summer could feel Seth's eyes on her, so she kept her own glued to the arrangement of flowers and the card with Seth's messy writing. The word love in slanted chicken-scratch above his name was not lost on her either. If that wasn't enough, his next words almost broke her.

"I'm really proud of you."

Her head snapped up and she narrowly missed hitting his chin. "You're proud of me?"

Seth smiled sheepishly. "Well, yeah."

Summer shook her head. "Sorry, I just don't think I've ever heard that before."

Seth rubbed his thumb on the inside of her wrist making her aware that he was still holding her hand and that his touch was comforting when she shouldn't have let it be. "I don't know why, between this and your art, you have a lot to be proud of. And, of course, you're going out with me, so that right there makes you a winner in my book," he said, punctuating his words with a wink meant to be taken in jest.

She was an awful, awful person. "Cohen."

Seth bent down and enveloped Summer in a hug. "No, I meant it. When you started this play, I really didn't think you were going to stick with it, but you're really good. Seriously."

She reluctantly, if not regrettably, pulled away first from the embrace. "Cohen, that's sorta what I wanted to talk to you about. See, the th-"

The stage manager rushed past them, pointing to her watch. "Fifteen minutes, guys. Hurry up!"

Seth looked Summer up and down. "You better get changed, I'll see you out there."

When Seth attempted to head in the opposite direction, it was Summer's small hand on his forearm that stopped him, but it was her words that made him go stalk-still. "I'm not going out."

Seth snorted. "What?"

"I just told Tracy to get changed. The art show... it's tonight."

Seth was quite for a full minute. Summer wondered if she'd ever had such an encounter with him before. She didn't get a chance to get accustomed to the silence, because Seth was making little incomprehensible noises before she had a chance to enjoy it, or at least let it sink in. "Ha, yeah, good one, you almost had me. You're almost as funny as Ryan, but really, good joke."

"It's not a joke. I wish it were, but the art show is tonight and I can't be in two places at once. I have to go, Cohen. It's what I've been working so hard all these years for."

"Tonight? No."

"Yeah."

Seth shook his head vigorously. "That's just great, Summer. We worked so hard and now, what, you're just going to leave?" his voice was steadily rising and though she'd never really seen him mad, she knew he was on the verge of freaking out.

Summer winced. She reached for his hand but he recoiled. "I know-"

Seth cut her off, taking a step back. "No, you know what, just go."

"Cohen."

The stage manager whizzed by again. "Ten minutes, guys." Neither took heed to her warning.

Summer took a step forward, hoping her eyes conveyed all that she was feeling. Regret. Shame. Hope. "You're the one that got me started on this whole thing. Cohen, this means something to me." This time when she reached for his hand, he let her take it. "You told me yourself what I want matters... well, I want this."

Summer watched his eyes change. The harshness left them and they were flooded with sympathy and remorse. "Yeah, no, you're right, go. God, I'm such an ass. I shouldn't have... I was being selfish. Come 'ere." Seth pulled her into a crushing hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "And hey," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek. "Good luck."

Summer stood on her tip-toes and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Thanks."

"Well, I've gotta-"

"Go," Summer finished, rubbing her thumb on his bottom lip to get rid of the lipstick smudge she'd left. "Break a leg," she said, her head cocked to the side, her hand striking out and hitting him playfully in the arm.

Seth grabbed his arm and pretended to be hurt. "Or an arm."

"Cohen."

"Eight minutes!"

"I better..."

"Yeah." Summer watched Seth walk away, his shoulders slumped, and then slipped out the back exit pushing the guilt down.

__________

To be continued....