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Lots of love, Amateur Angel
Most of the night I had slept but the other I laid in bed staring at the crystals in the roof. I was like a lovesick puppy the moment I was near Sesshomaru everything disappeared the anger, the hurt, the pain. It was just me and him for a moment at least until everything came slamming back.
What did I really know about Sesshomaru, he was the older brother of Inuyasha they shared the same father. From what I had heard from Inuyasha not once did Sesshomaru meet him. Was his hatred of Inuyasha because he was a hanyo or the fact his father left his mother to be with Izayoi.
I couldn't sleep, dawn was breaking over the horizon. Beginning to dress I pulled out a thicker kimono feeling as bent, the marks on my waist were starting to look a bit irritated. Making a loose bun on my head I used on of the expensive jewel-encrusted pins.
Opening the door and looking out. Candles lit the hallway and the foyer below. Slipping out I closed the door behind me. Glancing over at the large doors at the end of the hallway, I slowly began to walk toward them.
If this were a normal relationship I would know something about the man that in human terms I was already "married" to.
Standing in front doors, I took a deep breath. You know he was probably asleep. I could knock, he might open the door.
Hovering my hand over the door, I pulled back. What if he was asleep? Pacing in front of the door, attempting to come up with a solution to my self-made problem.
I had to talk to him, have a real conversation, that didn't involve me pressed up against a wall or me pressing up against him. I technically didn't owe him a single thing, he came to the forest with full knowledge of what he was going to do. He came to the demon village, made me submit and kidnapped me.
Akira's words whirled around. What if there was something here, something was here I could feel it.
I had to ask him if the mating bond could effect mentally and physically. Since part of me wanted to make him pay for all the pain and suffering he had caused me these past couple days but the other part desperately wanted to entangle myself with him.
This would have happened in my time period, I would be worrying about him calling back or texting back not standing in front of his door asking him to clarify the premise I was kidnapped on.
I stopped pacing, it wasn't Hoga or some modern dressed Prince Charming that came to mind when I thought about dating someone it was Sesshomaru.
All be damned he opens the door or he doesn't. Knocking on the door, I held my breathe and then attempted to breathe properly because I was literally holding my breath for a demon.
Agonizingly slowly the door creaked open. " Gathered enough courage, have you?" He smirked as he leaned against the door with his haori falling to the sides revealing his toned torso.
Giving him a look , I attempted to maintain my gaze with his eyes. " Can we talk?" Asking as a chill went through me. I needed a thicker kimono.
"Of course." He smiled , I froze in my tracks. I had never seen him once smile, a warm fuzzy feeling took hold in my heart.
I walked in and looked at the bedroom. There was a grand sitting area with furs and pillows to the left of me and a small office to the right there were papers skewed about on it. Sliding doors divided the room. Sesshomaru walked in front and slide the doors revealing massive bed against the left wall. The room flowed out to a balcony. The white curtains billowed in the cool morning air.
Shivering, I rubbed my hands on my arms. Turning he looked at me, looking down at my hands on my arms. He turned back and closed the balcony doors.
Glancing at the bed it was perfectly made, clearly, he hadn't been sleeping. I looked up at him as he walked back toward me.
I should step away from the bed. Sitting down at sitting area in the front of the room. I picked up a nicely folded blanket around myself. Gracefully he sat down next to me, his knees almost touching mine. I could feel the warmth of his skin from beneath his hakama.
Looking up at him, he smirked. Blushing I scooted away from him, I came here with a purpose.
"Getting you to talk has been like pulling teeth, I am done running around. Getting bits of information from Akira from you. I need you to tell me everything not cryptic explanations that leave more questions than answers." I spoke as he gazed at me.
" Understood, what would you like to know, Kagome?"He spoke dragging out my name.
Giving him a look I replied. "Lord Sesshomaru." Two could play at this game. " I want to know why after all this time I have been in here for years and now this connection mysteriously forms?" Asking as he lifted his eyebrows slightly at the word Lord.
He settled back, relaxing against the wall behind him. " What if I told you I had felt it the moment I had laid eyes on you would you believe me?" He spoke.
"No, not at all. I am pretty sure I still have nightmares of a giant white dog trying to disintegrate me with venom." I answered having flashbacks to the tomb and him losing his arm.
"There are things I have seen, things I have lost that have hardened my heart. When I saw you alive, healthy and standing before me everything stopped for a moment and then I saw as you stood beside Inuyasha. " His fist clenched in his lap. He gazed over my shoulder, his eyes hardening.
" He is my friend my best friend. Before he is my friend he is your brother. Half he maybe but you had the same father. Yet you tried to kill him and me as well. If you felt the way you do, why did you try to kill me." Speaking as I pulled the blanket tighter.
" I lost control, I let into the hatred and loss. I consumed me in that moment, I lost an arm because of it." He spoke slowly opening his fist.
" I didn't feel it, though , should I have not felt it as well?"I asked.
"You were a child, your mind and body had much to mature. When your body and mind had matured you had lost part of you soul. Once you regained your entire soul it took you to become re-accustomed to your entire soul." He spoke moving a bit closer.
I looked down at the space between us as he moved, there was still much space between. My holy powers had grown when I had gotten the portion of my soul back from Kikyo. I looked up at him, he had lived with the knowledge that I could be his mate the entire time I was in the feudal era.
" After you had found me, you just let me go until now?" Asking, remembering the time when I was on the brink of death and could have used his help.
" I wanted to give you the freedom to choose your own fate." He spoke as his golden eyes stared into mine. My heart dropped at his words, he gave me a choice even after he knew what we were.
I looked at the candle on the table, a feeling spread in my chest as I thought about what he had just said. He let me choose.
" What if I had fallen in love with Inuyasha and married him?" Asking about the future I thought was a possibility for me only a few years back.
"Then I would have made sure you were happy and Inuyasha did everything in his power to keep you happy." He spoke moving closer to me.
"Even with Inuyasha?" I asked again, he hated Inuyasha and yet he would have let me be with him if it were my choice.
" Kagome, I do not hate my brother as you may have come to believe. There were things done due to the actions he took that cost me dearly. I promised my father that I would look after him and I have but I have allowed him to become something on his own merit without the Taisho name hanging over him." He spoke as he closed the distance between us.
Taking a deep breathI looked back up at him. He wasn't the person, I thought he was. I didn't really know him at all.
A question rattled around in my mind that I was too afraid to ask. If he were to answer what I didn't want to hear ,there would be nothing that would allow me to move on.
"The mating bond does it change the way you feel?" Asking as I held my breath waiting for his answer.
"No, and yes. It does not change the way you feel but it makes you feel it deeper. You feel the emotions of two not one. The feeling has to be there, to begin with, everything is just intensified. " He began to lean in. "Anger, sadness, joy." He looked at my lips and then stared into my eyes. "Love." He finished. I blinked, I was hung on his every word. I moved back pushing myself against the wall.
What I was feeling was all me no mating influences just my own emotions on steroids apparently.
" You don't know me and I don't know you how are you would we know were even right for each other. I don't even know your favourite colour and you're probably don't even know where I am from." Speaking one of the many things that plagued my mind.
He sighed and leaned back. " You're from the future you fell down the Bone Eater's Well, the well sealed after Naraku was defeated. Ideally, there would have been a courting time before I had marked you, for us to know one another" He answered, he glanced at me waiting for another question. He had quieted my mind no longer was it racing with fear as it was before.
Playing with my hands I tried to think of more questions. Warm light began to pour in through the curtain.
"If, I am not saying I am but if we were to mate what would you expect of me?" Asking what would we do. What future would we have together?
"If we were to mate, we would rule over the west looking after the human and demon affairs. You could do as you please, visit your friend's anything the would bring you joy." He smiled once again.
Birds chirped outside the window. I looked at Sesshomaru, whose head leaned against the wall and stared intently at me. Yawning I blew out the candle on the table. There was more than enough light pouring in for the use of candle light.
Fear and worry lifted off my chest. I hadn't chosen this , I hadn't chosen him but was this something I could live with. Was he someone that I could love?
