Disclaimer: the same as in Chapter 1.

Author's notes:

- Happy New Year 2010 to all!!!

- To Tay: thank you very much! ;-)

- To Ruby890: thanks! Enjoy this new chapter!

- To OhmyGodnoway: I am glad you like the story so far. I hope you'll appreciate this new chapter as well.

- Details from the peashooter come from Wikipedia.


Chapter 12:

The meeting

As the teachers entered the Great Hall, Sirius noted that most of them had morose expressions on their faces, as if they had been recently discussing news about You-Know-Who. Nitric had a heavy-looking briefcase tucked under his right arm and a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Scott was watching the whole procession with his attentive green eyes, looking every inch an Auror on the alert, but the others seemed torn between starting an argument and keeping a low profile. A heavy silence followed the adults' entrance and soon it was weighting on the Great Hall like lead, the only audible sounds being the fire crackling in the mantel.

Dumbledore made a small movement with his hand and, all of a sudden, the candles of the Great Hall were lightened of their own accord. The young Black became worried this extra light would somehow betray their presence, but James merely smiled: even bright sunshine in the middle of the Sahara desert wouldn't be enough to reveal the outlines of the Invisibility Cloak and the two boys huddled beneath it.

"Please take a seat, my dear colleagues," said Dumbledore while sitting on the huge wood-carved chair designed only for the Headmaster's use. The teachers settled down, and Sirius noted that Professor Nitric took a bunch of parchment pages, a quill and a big bottle of Infinite Ink, "the enchanted fluid ink that couldn't fade even centuries after it had been used" according to the caption on the label. The Potions Master dipped his quill directly inside the ink bottle and started writing painstakingly on the parchment, paying no mind to Dumbledore as he said:

"Tonight, we will discuss the progresses made by our First, Second and Third Years as we reach autumn's mid-term. The Head of Hufflepuff House will start, then it will be Ravenclaws', and after Gryffindors' and Slytherins'. We will take a break around 10:15 for refreshments, and then we will start again around 10:30 to hear the DADA, Care of Magical Creatures, Flying, Astronomy, Divination, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy teachers, in order to finish this meeting for 11:30 at most. Professor Demeter, will you begin?"

Demeter stood up and, as she gathered her papers on the table, the white cloth magically changed colours to bear the Hufflepuff's trademark black and yellow.

"Thank you, Headmaster. Well, I am pleased to report that none of the students of my house have lost points for rules-breaking or rude behaviour. The First-Years are very thorough in their work, and they have quickly comprehended the basic notions of Herbology. The Second-Years are also making steady progresses, and the Third-Years show enough maturity to be put in charge of dangerous plants like the Strangling Liana. The house count is 52, a good score after two months of school."

Nitric chuckled lightly at these words, without taking his eyes off the parchment he was arduously writing on. Professor Demeter turned an angry face at the Potions Master. Dumbledore quickly asked to avoid a confrontation: "How about those from the other houses, do you have anything to report about them?"

Sirius felt his heart jump inside his throat, as he feared Professor Demeter would complain about him out of her grudge. He felt James' hand slipping in his to give it a reassuring shake. But the woman replied:

"I've experienced no trouble whatsoever with the Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors, Headmaster (Sirius sighed in relief). They are quiet inside the classroom and they do their homework thoroughly. However, and in spite of repeated warnings, some Slytherin First-Years have adopted an insolent attitude during my classes and I had to punish them, making their house loose points again which is something they cannot afford after losing 900 points on the first day of term. Then again, intelligence isn't the Slytherins' top quality, is it?"

Nitric hissed like a stepped-on rattlesnake, but his writing stopped only for a few seconds.

"Who are those First-Years?" asked Dumbledore,

"Lucius Malfoy: he threw some fertilizer at Andy Matheson, one of my First-Years, and called him a "mixed midget"; Victor Crabbe threatened Paul Doyle with bodily harm if he didn't give him the answers of a test; and Patricia Parkinson said my chrysanthemums were "nothing but rotten flowers" before deliberately stomping on them. I've told you that nothing good could come out of those Pureblood brats, Headmaster!" added Professor Demeter with the harshness of a carnivorous plant.

"Pomona, we can't forbid the Slytherins to attend your lectures because of a few troublemakers. In fact, we have to give these prejudiced youngsters a chance to see farther than the ideology taught by their parents..." started Dumbledore, but the teacher cut him short.

"I have given Malfoy, Crabbe and Parkinson their chance, and they threw it back in my face. Well, no longer, Headmaster! I want those Slytherins expelled from my classroom... no, correction, I want all the Pureblood-issued barred from my greenhouse since my teaching isn't good enough for people with impeccable genes!"

Sirius and James jumped in surprise at the same time, barely able to believe what they had just heard. Professor Demeter was asking for the banishment of all the Purebloods from her classes? But there were as many Purebloods kids in the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff houses as in the Slytherin's. It would mean half of Hogwarts' students wouldn't have access to Herbology! Sirius felt sick at the implications of that demand; the professor's hate towards You-know-who followers had reached the point where she wouldn't bother to make the difference between perpetrators and innocent bystanders whereas Sirius had progressively realized – mostly through Mary McDonald's influence – that the majority of the Slytherins didn't want to mix with Malfoy because they were opposed to his opinions.

"I can't grant you this ostracism-based request, Pomona," answered Dumbledore firmly. "Hogwarts' students must attend all classes, without exceptions, for seven years to earn a complete course in magic and become full-fledged wizards and witches. If the Slytherins you've mentioned are not behaving correctly, feel free to give them detentions or lines, for the rest of the year if needed. But as long as I will be Headmaster, nobody will be barred from a class on account of his or her family: that kind of attitude is worthy only of You-Know-Who."

"Well, he certainly wouldn't have this kind of scruples if he were in charge of this school! He has proclaimed loud and clear that Hogwarts should be "cleansed" from any trace left by non-Purebloods over the past thousand years!" exclaimed Professor Demeter.

"It doesn't mean we have to imitate him, Pomona. We must double our efforts in order to enlighten the mind of students already showing blatant prejudice."

"Even if they call you a "goody-goody old fool", make a mockery of your tolerance and would hex you in the back at the first occasion?"

"We all know about the tragedy that had struck your family, but showing hostility towards Purebloods won't help your brother."

The Herbology teacher sat back on her chair, her face a picture of disgust. Her red cheeks looked incandescent from barely-controlled fury and she accidentally crushed a quill by tightening her fist too hard around it. It was obvious she wouldn't add another word for the duration of the meeting, and the tablecloth changed colours to become pure white again.

McGonagall coughed loudly, and Dumbledore shook his head sadly while the other professors seemed embarrassed by their colleague's attitude. Professor Scott's green gaze moved slightly to stare at the Herbology for a minute, and then he resumed at observing the Potions Master. Oddly, only Nitric seemed satisfied by Demeter's outburst; he dipped his quill in the bottle of "Infinite Ink" before writing again, even if it was obvious he was having a hard time with spelling words.

Sirius whispered to James: "Have you seen Nitric? He's got that same smug look on his face than after he had humiliated Lily in front of the whole class!"

"Yeah, he probably has a plan in the back of his head and Demeter has just given him the opportunity to strike with her silly request of banishing all Purebloods from Herbology. Why is Nitric taking notes all the time, by the way? I really don't like this."

Sirius nodded imperceptibly; Professor Demeter certainly didn't help the belligerent situation brewing inside Hogwarts with her demands: talk about braiding with your own hands the rope destined to hang you!

Suddenly, a booming sound was heard outside the Great Hall and all heads turned towards the large wooden doors – including those of James' and Sirius'. After a few seconds, Argus Filch entered the Great Hall with his cat right at his heels and some greenish slime running from his long strands of hair and dripping down on his clothes and boots. The picture would have been funny if Filch didn't look so furious.

"Headmaster! I want to press charges against Peeves!" roared the caretaker while Mr. Smith, the cat, meowed in protest after receiving an extra drop of slime on its skull.

"What has he done now?" asked Dumbledore.

"He has booby-trapped the storage room at the first floor with Ghosts' Bogeys, that's what he has done! I was putting away my broom for the evening and when I opened the door, a whole bucket of Ghosts' Bogeys fell on my head. That green stuff has dirtied the corridor I had just finished cleaning! Peeves must be expelled from the castle, Headmaster! He's a ruffian, a hood, a menace to society, a..."

"Argus, you have my permission to go down to the Dungeons and send the Bloody Baron after Peeves," interrupted Dumbledore. "And I assure you measures will be taken as soon as this meeting is over, so this kind of incident won't happen again."

The grumpy caretaker seemed satisfied by Dumbledore's promise and he left the Great Hall in a flash, his cat and him leaving slimy traces on the stoned floor. In his enthusiasm to get retribution against Peeves, Filch had forgotten the fact that the Bloody Baron hated to be interrupted in his endless patrols in the Dungeons, and usually answered to requests for chasing the poltergeist with a few well-placed bites.

James had a strange smile: "This kind of incident won't happen again"? Fat chance! I have an account to settle with that cantankerous caretaker who wrongly accused me of leaving muddy footprints on the Main Hall's carpet, last Tuesday."

"In the lines of a bucket of goo placed at the top of an opened door?" asked Sirius.

"Amongst other things, mate," answered James with a mischievous gleam shining in his blue eyes.

"Ahem! Let's carry on with the meeting," said Professor Dumbledore, apparently annoyed by Filch's noisy interruption. "Professor Flitwick, you are in charge of the Ravenclaw house. Could you please tell us how your First, Second and Third Years have been behaving since the beginning of term?"

The short-sized teacher climbed on the table to stand at eye level with his colleagues, and just like with Professor Demeter, the white cloth changed colours to display Ravenclaw's deep and light blue. His presentation was short and clear: his house had scored 101 points, no incidents had erupted during his lectures (like a sudden explosion occurring after an incantation hadn't been pronounced correctly), he had experienced no trouble with Pureblood militants so far and he had spotted some First-Years who were already showing great aptitudes in Charms.

"Who, for instance?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

"Well, amongst the Ravenclaws there is Kevin O'Connor, Josephine Beauregard and Julia King. In the other houses, James Potter and Lily Evans seem to be the most talented in Gryffindor..."

Under the Invisibility Cloak, Sirius elbowed James in the ribs.

"There is also Jeremy Adamson in Hufflepuff and... Lucius Malfoy in Slytherin," finished Professor Filtwick.

Professor Nitric chuckled in satisfaction, but never bothered to look up – he was too busy tracing silos on his parchment pages. James' expression changed from satisfied to nauseated, and Sirius made a face. Lucius Malfoy being good in Charms could mean nothing but trouble; no doubts Nitric would encourage Malfoy to read Dark Arts books as soon as possible – even if it was illegal for underage students to have access to this documentation. Madame Pince, the severe librarian, was particularly uptight about this point.

"Professor McGonagall, what about your First, Second and Third Years?" called Dumbledore.

The severe-faced Transfiguration teacher stood up and, as on cue, the tablecloth turned gold and red. Her presentation was also strict and concise: she couldn't hear a pin dropping inside her classroom; all her Second and Third-Years' students did their homework and the First-Years made good efforts in acquiring the bases. Of course, Transfiguration was such a difficult subject it could take months before the First-Years could actually succeed in correctly changing the shapes of small objects but amongst the Gryffindors, there was one who showed amazing abilities and she had put great hopes in this boy.

"Who, Minerva?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

"Sirius Black, Headmaster. He's by far the most talented amongst my First-Years."

This time, it was James who elbowed Sirius in the ribs.

"You're a star, mate!"

"Hush," whispered the young boy with a smile.

Professor Scott had an almost-imperceptible start, and then a small smile spread on his lips but he never got his eyes off from Professor Nitric. Sirius felt joy blossoming inside his heart at this sight, as he assumed Scott's reaction meant the DADA teacher was proud of his accomplishments in Transfiguration.

"In fact," added McGonagall, "Black is even better than Barnaby Jones, the Ravenclaw who left Hogwarts abruptly after being victimized one time too many by narrow-minded imbeciles."

Nitric's quill stopped scratching heavily on the pages for a second, and he casted a dirty look at the witch but McGonagall wasn't impressed by silent threats. She stood her grounds, her gaze fixed on the fat Potions Master as if she defied him to speak. The other teachers, fearing confrontation, started to sink lowly on their chairs as if they wanted to hide under the table, apart from Professor Scott who remained immobile. Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw, had a strange expression on his face – looking both prideful and sad at the recollection of Jones, his brilliant former House member who had left the castle in tears. Flitwick hadn't seen the hassle Jones was submitted to until it had been too late...

Finally, Nitric mumbled a word between his teeth and resumed to his writing with a downright rude attitude. Dumbledore shuffled nervously on his seat: he could hardly lecture McGonagall for her words as she was a formidable woman with an equally formidable temper. She totally disapproved of Demeter's ostracism but she also disagreed with the Headmaster's "Cajole the guilty" policy, and if somebody stood on her way... well, it wasn't a pretty sight. Dumbledore was quite aware McGonagall hated law-breaking and the prejudiced attitude showed by some students was a blatant breach in Hogwarts' rules.

"Ahem! Thank you for your report, Minerva. Now, we will hear Professor Nitric, Head of the Slytherin House. Professor Nitric?"

The Potions Master was still scratching on his parchment pages, apparently unaware the Headmaster had called on him. Under the Invisibility Cloak, James and Sirius exchanged a glance: Nitric couldn't be that concentrated on his notes, now, could he?

"Professor Nitric?" asked Dumbledore again.

The other teachers turned their heads towards their not-exactly-esteemed colleague, who completely ignored the perplexed looks or the light coughs. He dipped his quill inside the bottle of Infinite Ink and wrote a few extra words.

"Professor Nitric!" called Dumbledore, a bit louder this time.

"Yes, yes, I've heard you, Headmaster. No everyone in this school is deaf, you know," answered the Potions Master with an annoyed tone, putting down his quill at last.

"Well, if you are not deaf, how about you answering when Professor Dumbledore asks you a question?" asked McGonagall, looking offended by Nitric's insolence.

"I do happen to have important things to note on that parchment and I won't be delayed by any interference. Unlike you, McGonagall, I ignore futile matters like Quidditch matches and house points. I put my mind to better use and I focus on what is really important for this school! Before coming here, I had an important position at the Ministry of Magic..."

"Which helps to explain why the Ministry is a madhouse," said Professor Scott, cutting Nitric's self-satisfaction like with a machete.

A round of chuckles was heard within the Great Hall, and the Potions Master's reddish face turned white in sheer rage. James and Sirius covered their mouths with their pyjamas' sleeves to refrain from laughing. Way to go, Scott!

"Iago, we are waiting for your report about the behaviour of your First, Second and Third-Years since the beginning of the term," said Dumbledore a bit sharply before his subordinate could answer to Professor Scott's sarcasm.

"Oh really, Headmaster, do we have to linger on these peccadilloes?"

"As a matter of fact, we do!"

"Oh fine, fine, I will humour you," said Nitric as he nonchalantly gave a light tap on the tablecloth with his wand; the cloth instantly turned silver and green. "You already know the Slytherin's House's Count is minus 923 points and yet, all my students are behaving normally, unlike the ones from the other houses. Lucius Malfoy is one of my best pupils. Happy, now?"

"Are you out of your mind? Your house is down 923 points, and you say your students are behaving normally?" exclaimed Demeter.

"Do I have to remind you that your House has lost 900 points from the very beginning of the term, and some Slytherins have managed to aggravate this situation because of their attitude?" asked Professor McGonagall. "Unless you have read the Hogwarts' rules handbook backwards, and you think loosing points will make you earn the House Cup?"

"Frankly, I have better things in mind than winning a rusty cup at the end of the year!"

"Then, will you be kind enough to tell us what your concerns are about?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

Professor Nitric had a nasty smile when he answered: "Since I have stepped foot inside this school, I immediately realised the state of deterioration Hogwarts has fallen into. Children enter here as dunces and they go out as teenaged dunces. The programs are risible, the learning methods are a sham; the Potions laboratory is under-furnished and the library is full of dung-filled volumes..."

"I am responsible for the choice of those books, in cooperation with Madame Pince the librarian!" exclaimed Professor Flitwick.

"I am quite aware of that, Flitwick, and I'll thank you to not interrupt," said Nitric scathingly. "So, considering all the failings this school has, it is no wonder students here are plain mediocre! Oh, I know my opinion is looked down by everybody in this room, but I do happen to know persons at the Ministry of Magic who will be very interested in what I have to say..."

"What do you mean, Iago?" asked Dumbledore.

The Potions Master stood up, brandishing his handful of pages like a proclamation of war.

"I haven't bothered in regaining stupid points to win a stupid trophy because I had more important things to do. What I am about to accomplish is something that will improve Hogwarts drastically! For weeks, I have taken notes about the behaviour displayed by the First-Years, and the results are simply appalling! In Hufflepuff, Raymond Wright keeps on eating sweets during my lectures. Jonathan Applegate tried to protest after I have punished him for brewing a potion the wrong way..."

Nitric recited a long list of Hufflepuff First-Years who were apparently misbehaving or failing in Potions: strangely enough, they were all non-Pureblood. The same thing happened when he slandered the new Ravenclaw kids through and through for about ten minutes. Then, Nitric saved the best for Gryffindor: "Lily Evans can't answer a simple question without faking to cry – and that silly girl has the pretention to become a witch! Nicholas Perkins dared to leave the Potions room without my authorisation to go to the infirmary after he had clumsily burned his hand. But one of the worst I've ever met in my life is James Potter: insolent, troublemaker, meddlesome boy!"

"A perfect description," snickered James quietly.

"But the all-time winner of the Magic Disgrace's title is Sirius Black, that top student of yours, McGonagall!" concluded Nitric.

"Say again?" asked the severe witch.

"You've heard me perfectly!" shot the Potions Master back. "Black is an uncontrollable rebel who will amount to nothing and he will end up in an Azkaban cell."

Sirius shuddered at the mention of the wizards' prison, and he felt James' hand tightening on his shoulder.

"I wasn't aware of your Divination skills, Nitric. Do you actually have the power to predict a child's future?" asked Professor Scott with an icy tone.

"I am quite aware this youngster is your protégé, Scott. But you'll have to admit sooner or later that Black is a bad example for the other students with his permanent contestation of authority!"

That brought a laugh out of the DADA teacher: "You are concerned about bad examples? That'll be the day! Besides, had you bothered to listen during this meeting instead of writing all the time, you would have heard all the First-Years you have mentioned – including Black – have good grades in other subjects. It appears they have difficulties only in Potions, so you should consider revising your pedagogical skills."

"Oh, really? How about Peter Pettigrew?" asked Nitric, waving his parchments around. "He is virtually failing everywhere, including Herbology which is a subject so simple even a donkey could master it."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed an offended Professor Demeter.

Sirius frowned at this attack against Pettigrew – the one his fellow classmates have nicknamed "Pitiful Pete" for his cry-baby attitude. But he didn't expect Nitric to slander that harmless student, who was scared of his own shadow.

"And let's not forget Remus Lupin, who had the ultimate gall to miss school for a whole week, twice in two months. His absenteeism is unforgivable," snarled Nitric.

"Lupin has health issues!" cried McGonagall.

"lf he's a weakling, then he has nothing to do at Hogwarts," said Nitric disdainfully. "This is a witchcraft and wizardry school, not a nursery – and I don't fall for his pathetic attempts to hide his laziness with sick leave. By the way, you've never bothered to tell us what Lupin is suffering from, McGonagall. How can we be sure he isn't contagious?"

"Lupin has the right of secrecy, and do you honestly think Professor Dumbledore would have let him enter this school if there was the slightest risk of... contagion... from him?"

"Considering the state Hogwarts is, I am entitled to have doubts."

The Transfiguration teacher's face had turned red, but one couldn't tell if it was due to anger or embarrassment. Sirius and James exchanged a furious glance; they knew the Potions Master had a grudge against their friend Remus, but they would never have thought he would make a mockery of his ailment in front of the other teachers. Remy had burned the midnight oil to make up for his absences, and Nitric had the nerve to say the boy was lazy?

"You were right, Jamie," whispered Sirius. "It seems our dear Potions Master have decided to speak ill of us during this meeting."

"Yeah, but he has another thing coming; trust me on this, mate!" said James while he was searching for something tucked inside his bathrobe's right pocket.

"That is enough, Iago," said Professor Dumbledore, efficiently calming the assembly. "Criticizing the other houses will not help Slytherin to recover lost points. And if you have objections about the way I run this school, I'd appreciate you to discuss those matters in the privacy of my office."

"Oh sure, sure... and all my suggestions would have been ignored! But I don't have time to waste with people who refuse to face facts: Hogwarts is polluted by First-Years who don't fit in, and actions must be taken. This is why I have spent hours observing the new students and I have just finished writing this report. And let me tell you this right now, my dear colleagues: this report will be sent to the Ministry of Magic tonight, with a recommendation that an Undersecretary comes here and inspect every corner of this castle," said Nitric, slamming the pages on the tablecloth.

A stupefied silence fell on the audience. Nitric asking a Ministry's representative to come to Hogwarts would create a terrible scandal. Only schools suspected of practising Dark Arts could be subjected to such an investigation, resulting frequently with arrests of You-know-who followers. It was rumoured that the Durmstrang Institute for Magical Learning had a Death Eater for a Headmaster and was under close surveillance from their Ministry's bureaucrats. And Nitric wanted the same kind of scrutinizing persons in Hogwarts?

"You can't do that!" yelled McGonagall.

"You can try and stop me," smirked Nitric. "In fact, I do hope you will try to prevent me from sending this report to the Ministry of Magic: it will only prove the truthfulness of my words."

"Iago, do you realize this kind of action would gravely damage Hogwarts' reputation?" said Dumbledore.

"Oh no, Headmaster, it will greatly improve it, quite the contrary! After the Ministry will learn what a bunch of dunces the First-Years are, some high-placed persons will approve my statement that some kind of children have nothing to do in this castle. I'll never believe the decisions of an old singing hat are enough to sort out real wizards and witches. It is far better to privilege quality over quantity, so higher entry standards must be established at once."

"What kind of higher entry standards?" yelled McGonagall. "Do you want a copy of the new students' pedigrees before we send the acceptance letters?"

"Oh, don't put words in my month, McGonagall!" shot Nitric back. "I merely pointed out the numerous First-Years who are obviously not intelligent enough to earn a magical education."

"A high majority of the children you have mentioned are Muggle-born or half-blooded," said Scott with a frown.

"Coincidences, merely coincidences," answered the Potions Master with a knowing smile. "It hasn't escaped your Auror training that I didn't say a word about Pure-bloodedness, now, has it?"

"Sneaky slug!" whispered James.

"But you do think that Purebloods wizards are better than the rest, don't you?" asked Scott.

"Why yes, I am convinced Purebloods are persons who have benefited from good influences since birth and therefore hold a high position within our society. Their family trees grant them inherent privileges that they have every right to use. Purebloods are aristocrats and this rank allows them to command the lesser-born, who'd better show the utmost respect for their own good."

"High-nosed snob," growled Sirius.

"However, I fail to see the purpose in sharing my opinion with you over that matter. As soon as someone says an aristocracy should prevail in our world, everybody screams for murder, and here come the Aurors! I am not a follower of You-know-who, but considering the state of depravation the magic world has fallen to, measures have to be taken to protect us from the descendants of ignoramuses who have persecuted wizards for centuries. Anyway, nothing will prevent me from sending this report to the Ministry of Magic. Nothing, do you hear me? NOTHING!" said Nitric as he pointed an imperative index finger on his pages in a dramatic gesture.

At the same moment, Sirius felt a light movement on his right and he turned his head just in time to see James putting a stick to his lips. For a second, he thought it was his friend's wand, but he quickly realized his mistake when the young Potter filled his lungs with air, made one extremity of the "stick" peek out of the Invisibility Cloak's folds, and blew inside the wood.

Puff.

A small projectile, too fast for the eye to see, was shot out of the "stick" and it hit the bottle of Infinite Ink with a crystalline sound. Under the impact, the bottle toppled over and a flood of dark liquid fell all over the pages in a blink of an eye! The Potions Master screamed in horror at this sight, but it was too late: true to its reputation, the pouring "enchanted fluid ink that couldn't fade even centuries after it had been used" had irremediably covered the words painstakingly written by Nitric, making his denunciation work disappear under an impenetrable cover of opaque liquid. The other teachers were too stunned to react, apart from Scott who deftly caught the tiny projectile rolling on the table to make it disappear beneath his left hand.

"Jamie!" whispered Sirius. "What did you do?"

"I have gotten rid of a piece of junk mail, just like you did with your mother's Howler, mate!" answered James with a wink.

"But what is this "stick"?"

"It's a peashooter, actually, that I've made to shot seeds or wadded-up paper balls, but this time I used dried peas. I figured out Nitric would do something nasty, but I wouldn't have imagined he wanted to denounce us to the Ministry of Magic, the dirty backstabber! Thanks goodness that bottle was near the pages! I shot a dried pea and it did the trick, knocking down the ink and ruining all his hard work."

"It's a wonderful prank!" said Sirius in awe, watching with delight the scene deployed in front of his eyes.

The Potions Master had snatched the dripping-wet pages off the table with one hand while pointing his wand at them, casting repetitively the Scrougify spell. But Infinite Ink had an inerasable quality, making it invulnerable to charms: it was the reason why it was used for official documents like testaments so there wouldn't be any doubt about their authenticity.

"Scrougify! Scrougify!" roared Nitric, but to no avail. The pages remained irremediably black. No matter how many times Nitric would cast the cleaning spell it would never bring his writing back!

Finally, after a few minutes of struggle, the Potions Master gave up on trying to save his work of denunciation. Unmindful of the ink colouring his fingers and his robe's sleeve, he stared in sheathing rage at the ruined report and his red face turned crimson after hearing the laughter of the other teachers, who were enjoying themselves at the sight of their detested colleague being thoroughly humiliated. Even Professor Scott seemed to have casted his Auror personae to the winds and he was laughing his head off, while hiding in his closed fist the dry pea James had shot from his tube.

"SILENCE! SILENCE!" roared Nitric in outrage. He crumpled the parchments into a soggy heap and threw it down on the tablecloth, making the bottle of Infinite Ink fell from the table and it broke into a million pieces on the stone floor. "THIS IS A CONSPIRACY! A SABOTAGE! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE! YOU HAVE PLOTTED AGAINST ME! YOU..."

"Calm down, Iago!" said Dumbledore. "How in the world could we have conspired against you if nobody knew about this report before attending the meeting?"

"THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?" yelled Nitric, showing the ink-soaked pages maculating the tablecloth. "DO YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT BOTTLE OF INK FELL ON ITS OWN ACCORD, AND PRECISELY ON MY REPORT, JUST BY COINCIDENCE?"

"I cannot explain it right now, Iago; all I know is the teachers are completely innocent from any wrongdoings. None of us has drawn a wand or conjured a spell; no one has tugged at the tablecloth to make the bottle move. And we certainly don't rely on Dark Arts to spill ink all over reports."

"THEN HOW..."

"I may have an explanation, Professor Dumbledore," interrupted Scott.

All the heads turned towards the DADA teacher in one movement; James and Sirius bit their lower lips in anxiety: maybe Scott had spotted the end of Potter's peashooter poking out of the Invisibility Cloak's folds?

"Yes, Barisan?" asked Dumbledore.

"Well, Headmaster, the only logical explanation to my eyes is... the bottle of Infinite Ink was knocked down by another action from Peeves."

"WHAT?!!" howled Nitric.

"Why, yes. You've heard about Peeves playing a dirty joke earlier, haven't you? Well, the Bloody Baron is probably chasing him around the castle, so it would be logical to think this mischief-maker has turned himself invisible to escape from his wrath.... and he has hidden in the Great Hall in the hopes the Baron won't pursue him here. And remember, Peeves is a poltergeist able to lift a whole bucket of Ghosts' Bogeys to stand at the top of an opened door; consequently, he wouldn't have any trouble toppling a bottle of ink over a bunch of parchment pages."

"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?"

"Absolutely not! In case it has escaped your attention, Hogwarts is habited not only by unfit First-Year students but also with ghosts, gnomes and magical creatures more numerous than I dare count. And you wonder why some objects seem to move as if of their own accord?"

Nitric looked like he was going to strangle the DADA teacher right in front of the Headmaster, but instead he howled a long and violent diatribe that involved Peeves, Hogwarts and the magical world, his enemies, the lack of recognition for Potions brewing, the unfairness of his professional situation, Scott, Muggles in general, the contempt he had suffered for years at the Ministry, how his hard work would be recognized one day and he predicted a long stay at St. Mungo's Hospital with no hopes for recovery awaiting everyone who had dared to mock him. As a final, he warned how the remains of the culprit responsible for ruining his report would never be found. And, with this last statement, the Potions Master stormed out of the Great Hall, loudly banging the door behind him.

"Boy, some teacher!" said Sirius.

"Have you noticed the atmosphere is "purer" now that he's gone?" laughed James, putting the peashooter back in his bathrobe's pocket.

"Jamie, this was a wonderful prank you've played. Do you think we could plan some more in the future?"

"Mate, nothing will stop us from doing so! With the Invisibility Cloak, we can sneak in the Dungeons and do a little sabotage in the Potions room, re-decorate the Slytherin's Common Room so it'd fit our tastes, spy on Malfoy to make out who is going to be his next victim... you name it! You and I are going to explore this castle from top to bottom, including the no-entry zones, and see for ourselves what could serve our purposes without the risk of being caught by Prefects or other busybodies."

Sirius looked at the teachers' table, and apparently the adults were breathing more easily now their venomous colleague had left the Great Hall. McGonagall was asking Dumbledore for the immediate removal of Nitric from the staff – under the approving eye of Pomona Demeter -, while the Headmaster was explaining in a condescending tone that it would be impossible, considering the lack of Potions Masters in the wizarding world and it would take months, even a year, to find a substitute and it would terribly affect the students' education and besides, Nitric had been under a lot of pressure recently, thus affecting his judgement, etc etc.

"Let's get out of here, Jamie. Dumbledore is playing Devil's advocate again," whispered Sirius.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway, the rest of the meeting won't be interesting now that Nitric is out of the way. He must be disgusted for life with attending teachers' meeting. With that little stunt we've pulled, he'd have to be more cautious if he wants to send another poisonous letter to the Ministry. And writing doesn't seem to come easy for him!"

TBC...