A/N: At a reader's (who shall remain anonymous in case someone wants to do her bodily harm!) suggestion I will only post two chapters a day. All the better to string you along! This is a long one so that's all for tonight. Thanks for reviewing and alerting.
Trust Me
Jethro reluctantly headed for home to do some much needed yard work. On Wednesday he enlisted Sue's help to find out Jenny's schedule and showed up at 12:30 with lunch. She was surprised of course but seemed happy to see him. It was all he could do to leave without at least a little kiss but he knew he had to respect Jen's wishes and at least pretend they were "just friends". He didn't call during the week even though he missed hearing her voice. Saturday couldn't come around soon enough to satisfy him and when it finally did he headed for the stables early in the morning with two cups of Jamacian blend and a sack of pastries.
When he pulled into the parking lot he was pleased to see Jen's SUV was the only vehicle there. They would have at least a little bit of time alone; as friends. Smiling, he carried the coffees and the sack of treats to the office. The door was unlocked and he went in and found Jenny at Sue's desk looking through the schedule book. She looked frazzled, beautiful but definitely frazzled.
"Good morning. I have coffee and treats."
Jenny looked up distractedly and didn't respond.
"Jen, you okay?"
"This has not been a good morning", was all she said before resuming her study of the schedule.
"Anything I can help with?"
Before Jen could answer Jethro heard the unmistakable sound of a baby crying. He looked around and didn't see anyone. The baby hollered again and Jethro realized the commotion was coming from Jen's office.
"Jen, there's a baby crying in your office." Even as he said it he realized it sounded stupid but he didn't know what else to say.
"My god you really are a trained investigator. Yes, there is a baby in my office. His name is Sam and he's my son."
By now Jenny was standing up looking at Jethro waiting for his reaction. He just looked back at her and didn't say anything so she plunged ahead.
"My housekeeper had an emergency this morning and couldn't come to work. I have classes all morning and now I have an unhappy eight month old in my office. Could you give me that coffee please?"
The noise from the office had increased a few decibles while Jenny was explaining the situation. It didn't seem to phase her but Jethro found it just a bit unsettling.
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him. He's not hungry or wet or dirty. He's just mad because I can't hold him and take care of business at the same time. He wants me to hold him and I need to make some calls to cancel my classes."
Jethro looked at her and handed her the sack with the pastries in it.
"Here, have something to eat." He gestured toward the office door and asked, "May I?"
"Be my guest. He usually doesn't take to strangers but you're welcome to try."
Jethro went into the office and found a very unhappy little boy standing up in a pak-n-play crying. He had curly red hair and dark blue eyes. He must have inherited his father's skin color because he didn't have his mother's fair complexion. But he was quite obviously Jenny's child. Jethro squatted down to get a closer look at the little boy who immediately stopped crying and put his arms up over his head signally his desire to be rescued from the confines of his bed. Jethro reached out and easily lifted the baby up and held him to his chest.
"Hey, Sam what's the matter? You want your mom?" Jethro spoke softly to the little boy who watched him with wide, teary eyes. Jethro picked up a soft cloth from the playpen and wiped Sam's eyes. The little boy smiled at him and happily waved his arms around.
Jenny stood in the doorway out of sight and watched her son with Jethro. They made a good looking pair and in that instant Jenny somehow knew she was looking at the man she would risk her heart for. Sam had never let a stranger pick him up before much less cuddle him and hold him. Her son was completely happy with Jethro holding him and Jethro seemed a natural with Sam. She went in the office and stood next to Jethro, one hand on his back and the other ruffling Sam's hair.
"Hey, little man. This is Jethro. Jethro, this is Samuel Jasper Sheppard."
"He's wonderful Jen, what a handsome little boy."
"He is pretty cute isn't he?"
"He sure is. Why don't I look after him while you do your classes? There's no reason to cancel. Sam and I can hang out and then I'll take you both out to eat."
"Are you sure? It will be until almost 3:00."
"I'm sure. You have food and bottles here right? We'll go check on Nellie and I'll take care of him. Really, I want to do it."
All the while they were talking, Sam looked from Jethro to his mom and back again. He was patting Jethro's face and bouncing in his arms. Finally he reached for his mom and Jethro turned him over to her.
"Thank you Jethro."
While Jenny taught her classes, Jethro took Sam to meet Nellie. He held the child's hand and helped him pet Nellie on the nose. Then he took him into the stall and let him pat her neck. Sam seemed enthralled by such a large animal and babbled in happy excitement. Jethro took him outside and let him crawl around in some clean straw making sure he didn't eat any of it. After while he took him back to the office, changed his diaper and gave him a bottle and a jar of peaches. Before long, Sam was sound asleep so Jethro laid him down and covered him with a light blanket before stepping out onto the porch to enjoy the day. This gave him some time to think about the fact that Jen had a child. He wasn't sure how that impacted what he thought he wanted from her but he knew it was going to make some kind of difference. He also wondered why she hadn't told him about Sam before now. When he'd been thinking about all that for about fifteen minutes Jenny came onto the porch for a break between classes.
"He sleeping?"
"Yeah. I gave him some fruit and a bottle and he was out like a light as soon as the bottle was empty. He's been asleep for about twenty minutes."
"He usually sleeps for an hour or so this time of morning. You sure you want to hang around?"
"I'm sure. Besides, you can't manage all those kids and horses and Sam at the same time. I mean, I know you're good but . . ."
"Okay, you're right. Thank you. You seem to have the touch; Sam doesn't go to just anyone."
"He's a good baby. Seems to have a good disposition. Where did that come from?"
Jethro didn't have time to avoid the punch to the arm that remark elicited. "Very funny. I happen to have a wonderful disposition; most of the time."
"Yes, you do. And a pretty good right cross too."
Jethro had a dozen questions about Sam, his father, and all that surrounded them but he felt it wasn't his place to ask. And, it didn't really matter except as it pertained to Jen's security and Sam's future. Again, not his concern. Not yet anyway and maybe not ever.
Sitting on the porch with Jethro, Jenny wondered why he hadn't asked any of the questions she was sure he had about Sam. She had already decided to explain it all to him later while they were eating. Jenny had not dated or been the least bit interested in a man since Sam had been born. She had no interest in dating because she had no intention of introducing random men into her son's life. Jethro however was not just a random man. He was after all, Sam's grandfather's trusted friend and he was rapidly becoming one of hers as well. Yes, this was definitely a man Jenny didn't mind Sam knowing.
When Jenny went back to her students Jethro went into the office and found a baseball game on television. He was watching the Orioles beating the Braves when Sam woke up and made his presence known. Jethro stepped into Jen's office and lifted Sam out of his bed.
"Boy you are soaked little man. Let's get you changed into some dry pants."
Sam just smiled and patted Jethro on the face while he was carried to the counter to get his diaper changed. Once the child was cleaned up and dressed Jethro carried him outside and walked over to the corral where Jenny was finishing up her second class. It was almost 11:00 and the class would be over at 11:15. Jethro kept up a steady stream of one-sided conversation with Sam who seemed very content in the arms of his new friend. When the class was finished the children scattered to the parking lot with their parents and Jen walked over to the fence where Jethro was standing with Sam.
"Looks like at least some of them are getting it. Maybe not the one in the green shirt though."
"No, she's still not sure she likes the idea of a horse but she's a lot better than two weeks ago. At least now she'll stand next to them."
"Would you like to give Sam a ride?"
"I would if you will lead us. I don't have his carrier here."
"Sure that's what I was thinking of."
Jethro handed Sam to his mom then climbed through the fence into the corral. He took Sam back while Jenny got settled in the saddle then he handed him up to her. Jenny put Sam in front of her making sure he was secure. When they were ready Jethro took the reins and led the horse around the corral. He looked back to see Sam smiling and laughing, waving his arms happily.
"I think he likes it."
Jenny leaned down and kissed her son on the head. She had not had him on a horse until now and she was very glad to share this first time with Jethro.
"I wish I had my camera here. I almost always do but I left it at home this morning."
Jethro pulled out his phone and held it up. "I have my phone. Here, hold the reins and I'll get some shots of the two of you." He handed the reins up to Jenny and snapped several pictures of mother and son on Sam's first horseback ride. "I'll have my lab tech print some for you."
"Thank you Jethro."
"You two look good together. He favors you that's for sure."
"He got his father's coloring and eyes but the rest is pretty much all Sheppard. He looks a lot like my dad when he was a baby."
Jethro had retaken the reins and was walking beside the horse leading it over to the barn area while Jen kept a firm grip on her very excited son. When they got to the barn where the horse's stall was he took Sam while Jenny dismounted.
"Why don't I put this beauty up while you spend some time with your little guy. Show me which horses you want for the afternoon class and I'll get them saddled for you."
"No, David will be here in a little while and he'll get them ready."
"He called and said he would be late; his hot water tank died and flooded his utility room this morning. He has to wait for the plumber but he said he'd be here for sure by 2:30."
"For heaven's sake what a day. Well if you don't mind, thank you. Again. Come on Sam let's go get you some lunch."
Jethro got the horses ready for the afternoon class and Jenny fed Sam and then had a quick sandwich before her students arrived. She had a little time to play with Sam and then she turned him back over to Jethro. Sam played on the floor of the office for a while then wanted to be held so Jethro picked him up and settled him on his lap to look at a book. That lasted about ten minutes then Sam got fussy so Jethro stood up and walked around with him over his shoulder until he fell asleep. Luckily, Jenny had not taken Jasper's old couch out of the office so Jethro put a pillow against the arm rest and stretched out with Sam on his chest.
That is exactly how Jenny found them thirty minutes later. As she stood in the doorway of the office and watched them sleeping she felt a tightness in her chest and stomach. She had known from the moment she found out she was pregnant that she would most likely be raising her child by herself. The man who was Sam's biological father was not up to the job of being a parent and Jenny was all too happy to let him relinquish his parental rights to her son. She wanted Sam to have a father, of course, but she knew her standards were so high she was probably not going to find a man who would meet them. That belief had been blown to bits in the last several hours. Looking at Jethro, so willing and so competent where Sam was concerned she knew she had stumbled across a man she could not only care for but who she could trust with her son. But would he want that? And wasn't this happening much too fast? Jen mentally shook herself and reminded her crazy self that just a week ago she had sworn off men in general and Jethro in particular. She knew she had to rein in her emotions and get back on the track she had planned for; raising Sam by herself.
"You coming in or just looking?" Jethro spoke quietly without opening his eyes.
"Just enjoying the picture you two make. I didn't mean to wake you. I'll finish up some paperwork and we can go whenever you're ready."
"Take your time. As you can see, I'm quite comfortable here."
Jethro had actually done more thinking than sleeping while lying on the couch enjoying the warmth and sweet smell of a baby on his chest. Of course he thought about all the times he had fallen asleep with Kelly when she was a baby. Then he thought about what it meant to him that Jen had a son. It definitely complicated his thinking in terms of their relationship. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that he had been thinking of Jen as a beautiful woman he wanted to know better and hopefully sleep with eventually. He had not considered a long term, serious relationship with her because he didn't consider that with anyone. Jethro believed he was past the falling in love and marrying stage and he was content with that. When he looked at Jen he imagined them having some fun, being intimate for a time and then, he was sure, she would find a more suitable man to fall in love with. He did not see himself as that man. He did not want to be that man. Or so he told himself.
It was all a big mess in his mind now and he really wanted to go home to his boat and not think about it. He hated the idea of giving up his friendship and his burgeoning desire for Jen but he also didn't like the idea of getting into a relationship with her that would, by necessity, include this wonderful little person currently sound asleep on his chest. The way Jethro viewed Jen had changed fundamentally in the last few hours and now he had to figure out how he was going to deal with that. Of course he still found her incredibly attractive and desirable but Sam was the wild card he hadn't been anticipating. A casual, non-committal relationship didn't seem like the way to go now and Jethro wasn't prepared for anything more.
Jen had been doing some thinking of her own and she too, realized things were going to be different now. She found herself very attracted to Jethro, more so now that she had seen him with Sam. Despite her strong resolve not to become interested in a man she had to admit she was very much interested in this particular man. When she put together her own feelings, her father's endorsement of him and her son's acceptance she found little to dissuade her from her attraction. What she didn't know was how Jethro felt about her having a child. Telling herself there was no time like the present she put away her paperwork and stood up to go back to her office.
When she walked through the door, Jethro was sitting on the couch with Sam standing in front of him holding onto his fingers.
"He seems to want to walk in the worst way."
"Yes, he's going all around the furniture at home. I'm sure it won't be long now. Noemi, my housekeeper, will probably see him walk before I do."
"Kelly took her first steps while I was in a jungle somewhere."
Jethro stood up and turned Sam around so he was facing his mom. Then, with Sam holding his fingers he helped him walk to her. Jen squatted down and when Sam was within reach she took his hands and he stumbled into her arms.
"Good job, Sam." Jen scooped the little boy into her arms and smothered him with kisses.
Jen looked up at Jethro and noted a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. He was watching them with a small smile on his face but she had a feeling it wasn't necessarily a happy smile.
"Do you still want to go eat or would you like to have a rain check?"
"Maybe we should do it another time. You've had a busy day and I'm sure you'd like some time at home with Sam."
Jen couldn't tell from his voice what was really going on but it didn't really matter. He was busy putting Sam's toys in his bag and Jen could tell he had made up his mind. She grabbed a clean diaper and laid Sam down on the couch to change him.
"Is there anything you want to ask me Jethro?" She asked without turning around and she couldn't see him to gauge his reaction.
"Did your father know about Sam?"
"Yes, he told me in his letter that he did. I very much regret not bringing Sam to meet him. It's something I'll have to live with. I'm a little surprised he didn't tell you."
"Jasper was very private about most things. Do Sue and David know?"
Jen picked Sam up and turned around to face Jethro. She was just a little bit exasperated by his tone of voice and his beating around the bush with his questions.
"Of course they know. I work with them every day. Why don't you just go ahead and ask what you really want to know?"
"What do you think that is?"
Jen picked up the diaper bag and reached for the bag of toys. Jethro grabbed it instead and Jen started out the door.
"Oh for god's sake Jethro, you want to know why I didn't tell you I have a child. Right?"
"Well?"
Jen walked through the front office and out onto the porch with Jethro following. She was standing beside her car before she looked at him again. Before she answered she put Sam in his car seat and buckled him in securely. She closed the car door and turned to find Jethro standing by the driver's door waiting for her.
"When I first met you it didn't matter because I had no intention of knowing you. In fact I wanted to kill you. Once we started talking and spending some time together I should have said something and I don't really know why I didn't."
"Well at least you don't seem to want to kill me anymore."
"No, I don't. Do you have any other questions you need to ask? I'm happy to tell you whatever you want to know."
"I'm not sure it's any of my business, Jen."
"What if I want it to be your business?"
Jethro looked at her for a long moment before he answered. He reached up and pushed some loose hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.
"Then I'd say you should rethink that."
"Why?"
"Because I'm probably not what you want in the long run."
"What makes you think I'm not able to judge that for myself?"
"I know myself much better than you know me. And, I'm not really looking for a long term thing."
"Oh. Well, okay then, I guess that says it all. Thanks for your help today. I'll see you, Jethro."
Jen quickly got into the car before Jethro could see the tears that were rapidly filling her eyes and threatening to spill down her cheeks. She didn't look at him as she drove off but she knew Jethro was still standing there looking after her as she left the parking lot.
Jethro shook his head and scrubbed his hand over his face and walked to his truck. Nicely done, jerk. I guess you told her and that pretty much puts an end to that. Great. Jethro wanted to kick himself but instead he settled for kicking the front tire of his truck before he got in and drove home.
