Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 11: Paper Bowser X?!?!

In a dark, creepy area, sat a castle that could only belong to the ever ferocious Bowser. His minions the Hammer Bros. knew about what was happening and who was coming, but their king hadn't arrived yet. Hammer Bros. were the most trustworthy and strongest of Bowser's army, so he always kept a few handy here and there. Just as they were about to send the visitors away, the mutant turtle stormed through the door, aroused as usual.

"GRA HA HA HAR! Bowser, the mighty koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions!" he roared. Several of his followers sweat dropped. "But now that I'm here…Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?"

"Uh, Great Lord Bowser…" a Koopatrol began. "The, uh, crusty old hag Kammy will arrive momentarily. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room."

Bowser muttered something nasty under his breath, and thundered over to the back of the room. He got comfortable, and waited…and waited…and waited. Naturally, the impatience caught up to him and he nearly roasted the closest Hammer Bro. to him. Finally, there was a thunderous pound at the door, and Bowser nearly jumped for joy.

"It's about time you arrived Kammy-" he started until he saw who it really was. The door had been knocked forcibly down, with a menacing purple aura floating around it. A scary looking man with orange hair smirked at what he had done. Beside him was an egg-shaped man, with an equally orange broom mustache.

"I believe we are not Kammy…" the egg-man stated. The other one just grunted.

"Who are you two dorky looking clowns?" Bowser questioned. "…and what gives you the right to just break down my door?!?! It was my favorite!"

"Forget the door! You can have a thousand doors when we tell you what we came here to tell you!" boomed the dark-caped one. "As for my name, I am Ganondorf, Dark Lord! A Great King of Evil! Prince of Darkness! And…many more dark titles."

"I am Dr. Ivo Robotnik! Mad scientist with an IQ of 300-"

"You look more like a Dr. Eggman to me-"

"Of COURSE I do…"

Bowser snickered, along with Ganondorf. "So…why are you fools here?"

Ganondorf walked up to Bowser. "A few months ago, the hero of my world left for a period of time…"

"Along with the hero of my world!" Eggman added. "When he came back, he was talking about how he went to some Mario guy's world and took down this Bowser…"

"Hey! That's me! Mario's my worst enemy…and I have a grudge against two of his best friends…" explained Bowser.

"Were their names Link and Sonic, by any chance?"

"Yeah! Man, I almost hate them more than Mario! So cocky, full of themselves, and all three of them were blasting me with beams of light…"

"I Hate them all!" all three evil icons roared. They then stared at each other and grinned.

"Well…" Ganondorf began. "The reason we came was to actually help you get revenge. Link and Sonic, along with their other pals, have left once again, and we figured they'd come to this world. If we join together and hunt them down, there's no way they could win! That way, we can take out all three of those pests and we can control every last world!"

"Ooh! Sounds delightful!" squealed Bowser. Eggman put up a hand.

"There's more. In my recent studies, I've discovered that-"

Eggman was cut off by Kammy Koopa arriving into the room. "Ah! Lord Bowser!"

As she wobbled over to him, Bowser rolled his eyes. She was huffing and wheezing by the time she made it to the trio of evil.

"I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my lord."

"I bet you are, Kammy Koopa! Now out with it! Why have you called me here?"

"You mistook us for that?!?!" guffawed Eggman. "That's practically an insult!"

"Please your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant. Ahem…it's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called Rogueport."

Ganondorf and Eggman perked up to this info, but Bowser discounted it.

"PBTHHH! Am I Mario's babysitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!"

"Yes, well, you see, my Lord…apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure, being accompanied by that Link."

"Tuh-tuh-Treasure!" guffawed Bowser.

"Link! I knew it!" Ganondorf shouted.

"Yes, Mario and Link have gone in search of Star-Shaped Jewels known as Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are…but there's no question of their high value."

Eggman snapped his fingers. "That was what I was meaning to say before I was rudely interrupted! These Crystal Stars are the equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds, and the Tri-Force! That's how powerful these things are, and if we collect them, there's no stopping us!"

" The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world-conquering tools! I want 'em!"

"Didn't you just say that?" Ganondorf whispered to Eggman. Eggman nodded furiously.

"Hmm…yes…very good…Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag you." Bowser demanded.

"Yes, sir. Thank you sir. Leave it to me." Kammy said. "By the way, Lord Bowser…do you like fried Eggs?"

"You bet I do!" Ganondorf put in.

"Bleargh! I HATE them! That's like eating my mother!" yelped Eggman.

"Do I…I LOVE fried eggs! LOVE 'em! But…what a weird question. Why do you ask?" Bowser wondered.

"Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called Petal Meadows. I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, with eggs and toast…Of course, I couldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser."

"AIRHEAD!" Bowser roared, almost blowing Kammy, Ganondorf, and Eggman away. "A picnic! You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail. Because you clods always goof off! ARRGGGHH!"

Bowser went into a rampage of stomping his foot like an immature child.

"Oh dear…Lord Bowser…please calm down…remember your blood pressure!" pleaded Kammy.

"Maybe this was a bad idea…" Eggman whispered to Ganondorf.

"Hey! This was your idea, and we need him to help us get the Crystal Stars!"

As the insanity unfolded, a Magikoopa slithered up to Kammy and whispered something in her ear. Now SHE was in a frenzy.

"Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool in Rogueport just abducted Princess Peach, along with her gal pals Princess Zelda and Amy Rose!"

"Well THAT'S a surprise…" "Typical."

"HUUUUHHHH-WHAAAAAATTTTT! Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing?" gasped Bowser.

Cough…you?

"Besides me?"

Oh.

"I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet…The investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed however: the princess and her friends have been kidnapped."

"Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say-so! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've gotta kidnap her back!"

"Don't you mean any of them?" Eggman questioned suspiciously. Bowser blushed and made a face.

"Erm…yeah, duh! Ha ha…anyway, let's roll out!"

Bowser instantly stomped off, eagerly followed by Ganondorf and Dr. Eggman. Bowser returned in his Koopa Klown Kar, and Eggman had brought along an Egg Mobile made for two. Bowser broke through a wall, and the other two villains hovered after him.

"But… Your grudingness! Wait up!" Kammy cried, putting hopelessly behind them all on her weak broom. Disappearing in the sky, the foursome were about to make their mark on the Crystal Star journey…


So, yeah, I know some of you saw that coming! but in the future something unexpected'll happen! Anyway, this one was a bit short, but irony is, they get longer than Peach chapters later on!

And another thing- all your predictions are quite interesting. Some are undeniably right, some are almost right, and some are so very wrong I could cry. All I can say is that this fic just might suprise you ^*^