Chapter 12
Mr and Mrs Carson settled themselves in the back seat of the car. Lord Grantham had insisted that they travel in style to their cottage, following the wedding reception. A large crowd of their friends and the Family had gathered on the drive in front of the House and whoops and cheers could be heard as the driver started the engine.
Mrs Patmore, Daisy and Anna threw confetti over the car as they beamed with happiness. As the car was about to move away, Mrs Patmore's voice rang loud and clear over the cheers,
"Enjoy your first night together! Don't do anything I wouldn't do Elsie!" she joked.
The newlyweds were suitably mortified, a blush appearing on both of their faces. Elsie laughed nervously as she looked towards Charles. He smiled weakly and coughed loudly to try to cover his embarrassment. Neither had allowed themselves to think about that today; 'that' being their first night together as man and wife. It was altogether too terrifying for either to contemplate.
Following their kiss in the Church, Elsie noted happily that Charles had become a little more tactile but only in the most chivalrous fashion. He rested a hand on the small of her back, as he guided her around the Great Hall to speak to their friends and he had held her hand as they listened to the speeches from Mr Bates and Mr Branson. Even as they sat comfortably in the car, he had placed his arm on the seat behind her and was gently stroking her shoulder. Although, following Mrs Patmore's comment she noticed his arm had moved nervously back to his side. There was an awkward atmosphere in the car and Elsie wanted things to return to the happy, light-heartedness of earlier in the day.
Charles was flummoxed following Mrs Patmore's comment. He hadn't worried about the wedding night at all until now. He hadn't needed to worry; until this morning he didn't know that Elsie loved him. Therefore, he had not wanted to presume that she would want to be intimate with him, as much as he might have wished for it. He coloured again at that thought. Just because she loves you Charles, it does not mean she wants to have that sort of relationship with you. He realised that many married couples of their age were happily married and loving, without sharing such affections. Oh dear god, he thought anxiously, how am I going to know if she wants that or not? I certainly cannot ask her; can I? And surely it is for me to make the first move, to take the lead. However, he loved Elsie too much to act in a boorish or uncouth manner; what if she is disgusted by my advances?
The uncomfortable silence continued as the car made its way to their cottage. Elsie realised that she needed to do something to restore calm. She rested her hand softly on his thigh and said,
"It has been a wonderful day Charles … just perfect."
Charles paused before responding; her hand gently resting on his thigh was quite distracting and certainly was not helping divert his thoughts about their first night together. He somehow managed to stutter,
"It … it has indeed Elsie … I have never felt happier."
Elsie smiled blissfully, realising she had never felt such joy either. Charles gazed at his wife; thinking how beautiful she was. He had felt so old lately. He knew he had slowed and was no longer the vibrant young man of his youth. Yet, when he was with Elsie none of that seemed to matter. She made him feel young again. He replaced his arm along the back of the seat as he resumed gently caressing her shoulder. They both settled back in their seats feeling very content and Elsie continued to lightly stroke his thigh. Charles kissed her hair as she leaned into his side.
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They had arrived at the cottage and had just finished unloading all of their wedding gifts from the car. They had both been glad of this task, as it had allowed them to keep busy and to forget any nerves about later. It was late evening now and once again the atmosphere suddenly felt very tense.
"Right ... umm … well that's that job done … shall we … I mean … shall I … umm … make us a cup of tea?" Elsie stumbled.
"Yes … yes … that would be lovely …" Charles replied.
Both very relieved to have a little breather, to gather their thoughts.
"Good … right … why don't you sit down in the living room and I will bring it through?" Elsie said kindly.
"Oh … yes … thank you …" Charles replied.
Elsie made her way through to the kitchen, where she covered her face with her hands. Oh my goodness, this is mortifying. Why are we both so nervous? Elsie realised she had never been so anxious. She loved Charles with all of her heart but it had been so long- decades in fact – since she has even kissed another man let alone been intimate in any way. Did Charles want that? She was almost sure he did. She may be inexperienced but she could see the way Charles had looked at her over the last few weeks. However, she also knew Charles was the most gallant man and he would be wary of making unwanted advances. However, Elsie thought, despite how scared I feel, they wouldn't be unwanted; not at all in fact. Elsie blushed again. She knew she wanted Charles; was that unseemly at her age? Would he think her too forward for having such feelings? Just the thought of sharing the same bed as Charles made her feel a little flustered. She had slept on her own for such a long time.
Charles sat on the edge of the settee in the living room. He could not settle; he felt so restless. He paced about the living room for a bit, wringing his hands together. It had been so long since he had been intimate with a woman. Yet, none of his fumbling dalliances of his youth compared to what he had with Elsie. He was madly in love with her and she meant more to him than any other person on this earth. He cherished and respected her; he would hate to upset her by being too audacious. Yet he could not deny that he wanted her; there was no doubt at all about that. He had spent so many nights dreaming of her; dreaming of being with Elsie. He had sat beside her at breakfast on many mornings, embarrassed that he'd had such illicit dreams about her the previous night. Somehow, before they were married, he had managed to keep control of these thoughts but since the Church, his desire for her seemed to have been set free. Charles then shook his head at this thought; what would Elsie think if she knew that I was feeling like this?
Elsie had set a tray for their tea; she noticed how her hands were shaking as she placed the cups and saucers on the tray. She felt like a young girl again; as nervous as if this was a first outing with a new love. Yet, it was in a way. They had never been alone like this before. Of course, they had spent many hours in each other's company at Downton and their nightly routine when they shared a sherry or a glass of wine was her most cherished moment of the day. However, they were now truly alone together for the first time in their lives and what's more, they did not have to get up early tomorrow to start a new day. They were retired and were now entirely in control of every minute of their lives and she hoped they would have many years together. Goodness Elsie, she thought, you need to get through the next few minutes rather than thinking ahead to the coming years. Just then, Charles came into the kitchen,
"I thought I should come and help you …" he said. He could not settle in the living room and so he thought he might be more use in here.
"Oh thank you … if you want to carry this tray into the living room … I'll bring some biscuits …" she replied.
As she handed Charles the tray their hands touched for a fleeting moment. They both smiled nervously at each other before Elsie quickly stepped back, away from this gentle touch.
"Right ... let's go through to the living room …" she managed. She could feel a hot flush overtaking her body.
Charles too, was feeling very flustered. They both turned to walk out of the kitchen; Charles was in front with the tray. Suddenly, without warning, Charles stopped. Elsie almost walked straight into him. He turned to face her and swiftly deposited the tray on the kitchen table. He took a deep breath and said,
"Elsie … may I kiss you?"
Elsie was quite stunned by this change of direction.
"Umm … yes of course … I mean ... you don't need to ask Charles … we are married now … you can kiss me whenever you want … well ... I mean within reason … obviously not when we are in company … or at Church … but when we are at home … I mean … well I am not sure what I mean …" Elsie stammered.
Charles smiled happily at her. It was nice to see the unflappable Elsie Hughes completely flustered. He smiled lovingly at her as she returned his smile. She realised this was so unlike her, to be in such a tizzy over the promise of a kiss. She shook her head at her herself, all the while smiling anxiously at Charles.
"Here … let me take those …" Charles said as he took the plate of biscuits out of her hand and placed them on the table with the tea try.
"I am so nervous Charles …" she admitted.
"Me too …" he replied honestly.
Elsie laughed at that, biting her lip at the ridiculousness of the pair. They knew each other so well and yet they had so much to learn about each other.
Charles stepped forward and slipped his arms around her waist. She reached up, holding his face in both hands. He brought his lips to hers and began to kiss his bride; gently at first but within seconds he had deepened his kiss and was holding her tightly as his hands ran up and down her back, with one settling on her bottom and squeezing this firmly. This made Elsie giggle against his mouth; her esteemed Butler had never placed his hand there before. Charles smiled against her mouth too as he continued to kiss her and they both relaxed into this wonderful embrace. Elsie's arms wound securely around his neck as she kissed back with a passion she had withheld until now. Charles was kissing her with such desire, that he pushed her backwards against the table, and the plate of biscuits went tumbling to the floor.
"Oooh there goes the biscuits ..." Elsie said smiling.
"I didn't want tea anyway … did you?" Charles asked, a blissful smile on his face as Elsie shook her head lightly and pressed herself more firmly against her husband. Charles gave a contented murmur as he looked forward to something much sweeter than tea and biscuits.
A/N: Thank you once again for all of your wonderful reviews- they are a pleasure to read x
