Chapter 12: Girl Talk
The leaves had all fallen from the trees replaced with white blankets of snow. A fire was built in the pit warming the small fort to a comfortable temperature. There was no fussing of who got to light the fire like when they were young. Whoever got there first was now more about responsibility to get the fort warm. Sounds of nature were silent as the world hid away into hibernation from the bitter cold.
The three teens seemed to migrate more and more to the old fort. The excuse to prove Danny's innocence always came easily. The truth was they enjoyed being around one another again.
Today, the girls made it there first. They sat in silence doing their own thing like they had did sometimes when younger.
Jo looked over at Lacey as she studied her. A pencil dangled from Jo's mouth as she continued to stare at Lacey. Finally Lacey looked up at her.
"Is there a problem, Jo?" Lacey asked as she looked up from the magazine she had been reading. Justin Beiber and One Direction adorned the cover of the teen magazine. Lacey couldn't help but compare her own boyfriend to the superstars. She felt Danny definitely won that stud off. Regina's words sometimes caused her to smile.
"Can I ask you something personal?" Jo almost cringed at the words. The question was so friendly.
Lacey sighed not willing to put up with anything snarky Jo was about to ask. "Sure. What's up?"
Jo fidgeted uneasy as she looked around the old fort. They had decided to come there to meet Danny for the afternoon to regroup on some things they had been trying to figure out. At least that was the excuse again. Danny was running late.
"Well..." Jo hesitated as her cheeks turned red. "Tyler thinks you and Danny are ...having sex." Jo squeaked slightly.
"I thought you heard me tell my mom not yet?" Lacey questioned as she looked at Jo.
"I did." Jo exhaled slowly before readdressing Lacey. "I thought that was for your mom's benefit. I figured.."
"I want to." Lacey admitted. "Danny is so fine." Lacey giggled with Jo before continuing. "He just has so many secrets."
"Don't you trust him?" Jo asked with raised eyebrows.
Lacey shrugged. "I love him." An admittance. "Very much. But I'm not like you, Jo. I worry about things. I think about things and doubt until I get headaches at times."
"Then why are you with Danny if that is how you do when it comes to him?" Jo fiddled with a loose thread on her sweater.
Lacey smiled dreamily before pulling herself up to stare mindlessly at the sky. "Because when I'm with Danny, I don't think."
"I don't understand." Jo crooked her head sideways to look at Lacey.
Lacey drew in a deep breath and then exhaled. "When I'm with Danny all I do is feel." Lacey placed her hand over heart. "I feel so much alive and happy."
"Wow." Jo noticed her friend's dreamy look. "You do love him. Don't you?"
"Yeah." Lacey chuckled before settling back down. "I'm not sure how Danny feels about me. But I know without a doubt how I feel about him."
"I think Tyler wants to get more physical than I'm ready for to be honest." Jo started to shake her leg back and forth nervously. "Tyler is experienced and I'm not. I guess you and Danny haven't crossed that line because he's inexperienced."
Lacey's eyebrows knitted together. "I've not been with anyone either, Jo. Why does every one assume that?"
"Oh." Jo surprisingly stated. "It may be your friends. Guilty by association. I mean Regina was kind of slutty. No offense."
"None taken." Lacey pressed back against the side of the fort wall. "I guess Danny and I are moving quickly on that front if you think about I dated Archie since 9th grade. But Danny means so much to me. I fell hard and fast for him. I fought it but he drew me in. Does that bother you that Danny and I have gone beyond the friend thing?"
"Not now. Maybe at first. But I had a huge crush on him." Jo laughed at Lacey's grin. "He is fine as you say. But Tyler is too. I think I was lonely more than anything. Danny filled so many voids in my life when he came back. But I think one of my best friends is the place Danny will always occupy."
"Danny was right the very first time I spoke to him. The sleepover night. I do miss how things were between all of us. I think Danny and I have moved on to something more but I miss being myself. I couldn't really do that with anyone but you and Danny. I'm glad you're back in my life, Jo."
"Me too." Jo grinned broadly. "How embarrassing was that getting caught by your mother?"
"OH my gosh! I was only in my underwear. Luckily Danny still had on his jeans." Lacey grinned mischievously. "I was working on getting those off. I can't believe we didn't shut his bedroom door."
"Yeah. That would be one of the first things I would do if I were making out with Danny Desai in his bedroom." Jo stated then realized the connotations of those words. "I mean if I were you."
"I know, Jo." Lacey sighed contently before become serious. "Did you ever read any of his letters he sent while in juvie?"
"No. I burned them." Jo admitted. "How about you?"
"I kept them all to be honest. My therapist at the time said writing him back may be a healing process. I remember I wrote him for awhile but I couldn't get over the memory of that day." Lacey rubbed down her jean clad thighs. "It was easier to pretend at first that he was away on this trip. Then as I grew up, I faced that Danny had done something very wrong and wasn't coming home for a while. Everything that started going wrong in my life I blamed on him. I kept telling myself that because I was so messed up due to what Danny did , my parents fought and split up. I guess kids always blame themselves in those circumstances. I told myself that you were messed up for the same reason and I resented him for me not wanting to work to keep our friendship. It was easier to blame Danny than miss him."
"I hated him in my head. But in my heart, I missed him like crazy." Jo fiddled with a stick that lay on the ground. "Do you know what I mean?"
"Yeah." Lacey nodded as she thought about Danny's letters kept hidden in a box covered with Hello Kitty stickers under her bed. She wondered how many times she had read his words of pleading for her to write back. She thought of all the tears that had been shed over him then and now. "I know exactly what you mean."
"So are you and Danny going to?" Jo bit her lip with a shrug. It was as if she needed confirmation that Lacey was going to take that step with Danny so she could Tyler.
Lacy fidgeted but it was to get physically comfortable. Unlike the awkwardness of talking sex with Phoebe, it felt normal to talk this way with Jo. Lacey figured they really were meant to be best friends.
"Yeah." Lacey's eyes sparkled at the thought of being with Danny intimately. Jo noticed but Lacey didn't care. She wanted Jo to know her secrets. "Someday. But don't let Danny and my relationship dictate your and Tyler's decisions. Don't let him pressure you into something you're not ready for."
"I won't."
Jo could hear Danny coming in the distance. The three were comfortable again together. Most snarky remarks were minimal although they came sometimes. Growing in a friendship again wasn't easy but it was happening.
Jo and Tyler made the decision to take the step into intimacy. Jo regretted some days it happened. She'd tell Lacey those times. Other times Jo would love the fact that Tyler was her first. She'd tell Lacey those times too.
Jo and Lacey would laugh later that Jo was actually the first of the three to lose her virginity. That information was kept from Danny. Some things were only meant for girl talk.
