Chapter 11
Relieved
Disclaimer : As always, I own nothing.
Last night, before I fell asleep, she sent a message, A refreshment to my grieving and burning heart.
Hey, you didn't call me to inform me about your 'date' so I assumed that it went well. Have a good night and sweet dream, dear.
That short message was enough to make me smile even though I'm really feeling down last night. And sadly I didn't have the chance to reply her message, since I fell asleep not long after I read Haruka's message.
One thing I know, because of her message, I don't feel as bad as last night. There are a lot more messages from Haruka when I reached my office. I can see all my colleagues are already busy doing something in their desk. It's a normal view though since today is the deadline.
Do you want to go to the mall? I'm free today.
Haruka's invitation is a hundred percent more interesting than this tiresome deadline. And leave is a refreshing word to hear right now.
When?
It turns out that Haruka is better mannered than me.
I don't want to disturb your hour. After your working hour then? 4 p.m. sounds good?
Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's better, so that I can finish my articles about some artists and dodging Yamakawa-san's anger. I search for my articles material from the internet all day long, even though actually I'm still unmotivated to do anything due to yesterday's event. 4 p.m. please come faster!
xxx
And now we are at the mall again. Haruka and me.
I don't wait long to grab Haruka's hand and entwine my fingers to hers. Somehow a simple thing like this makes me smile widely.
Haruka smiles too. "How's your date yesterday?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I lower my head.
"The usual café?"
I nod.
During the meal, I don't say many things. Only some yes and no. Haruka tells me about her activities today. After done with her practice she had nothing to do, so she drives along the beach for a while.
"Suddenly I feel like buying a beach house." Says Haruka with enthusiasm. "You can hear the sound of the sea and feel the wind every time you want. And you can play at the beach as long as you want to. And the sunset, can you imagine it?" She finishes her sentence with a sip of coffee.
I listen faithfully to what she says.
"I stop my car for quite a long time there. Couldn't stop my head imagining a very nice beach house. Maybe a small one will be enough.."
Now I can't help but imagining a beach house too.
"Michiru.." Suddenly I can feel her gaze on me. Concentrating on my eyes. "I don't know why, but suddenly I'm imagining us, me and you, living together in that house.." Haruka's voice disappears.
Her words make me stunned. It's like she was telling me a fairy tale. Somehow my mind feels blocked by something. And then I realized that Haruka is still staring at me. Our eyes meet.
Out of the blue, she laughs.
"Michiru.. I'm sorry. I've never been able to stop myself if I'm excited with something.." Haruka shakes her head a few times.
I sighed outwardly. Relieved. I thought Haruka was teasing me or something.
"You look down.." She states. "What happened?"
I don't want to talk about it. Haruka's question makes me feel blue out of the sudden. Suddenly I can feel my tears on my cheek.
Haruka shocked. "Don't cry.." She then looks for something in the table and it seems that she can't find it. After that she takes something from her bag, and hands it to me. A tissue. I accept it quickly. This is embarrassing. And now I ruined the atmosphere.
It's been a long time since the last time I cried, in public moreover. Maybe even everyone has his or her own limit that can't be controlled by emotion. I keep crying. Haruka holds my hand and her other hand circled on my shoulder.
I can't stop my tears.
xxx
"I'm really sorry, Haruka." I'm really embarrassed of myself.
"It's okay, Michiru. I understand." Haruka opens the door to her apartment.
A little sound in my head is still scolding me for what happened at the café this evening. This will not happens again. Must not.
In her apartment, Haruka acts like a mother to me.
At first she goes to the kitchen. Then, she appears with a tray filled with two cups of hot chocolate and cakes.
"I bought this cake from a bakery near my practice ground." She sits beside me. Cheese cake. Haruka takes a cup and hands it to me. "Here.." She smiles softly.
We stay silent for quite a long time. Haruka tries not to make me cry again by not asking about what was actually happened yesterday. This is really awkward and I don't like this situation.
"Haruka.." I'm encouraging myself to speak. "When was the last time you cried?"
Haruka shifts her sitting position, nearing herself to me. I can see her smiling faintly to me. "Last night."
I'm shocked hearing Haruka's answer. Really? I look into her eyes, to find out whether she's lying or telling the truth.
Haruka nods, ensures me.
My lips move without any words come out.
"Actually, I cry almost every night. I seldom cry out physically like what you did just now. But deep inside my heart, there is a tear every day.."
I dumbfounded. This Haruka? The successful and strong Haruka, cries? I can't imagine that.
"If you think that you're the only human in this world that could cry, you're wrong. And if you think that you're the most miserable person in this world, you're more wrong.."
I stare the floor. I can't deny what she said. She's absolutely correct.
Haruka stretches her hand. Circles it around my shoulder. Hugging me. I bury my head into her chest. This feels weird, but I like it. It calms me down.
Then, Haruka asks me to stay. Without saying any words, I nod. She hands me a clean towel, a satin sleeping robe, and a pair of slippers. She also asks me whether I want to eat dinner or not. I don't feel like eating, so I say no. But Haruka still brings me a bowl of hot soup.
We lie down on the bed, side by side. Haruka caresses my hand.
"Haruka, have you ever felt like everyone were rejecting you?" I stare the ceiling randomly.
Haruka doesn't answer my question immediately. "Tell me." She says after a few minutes pause.
I tell her everything. Starting from my childhood. How my parents compared me with my 'successful' older sister. How I felt so small, after I moved to Tokyo all by myself. How I'm scared of loving someone. How I always imagine what my love life should like. How I feel right now.
Haruka has been my loyal listener. She just listens to all I say without saying anything. Then, at the end of my story, she hugs me tightly. A wave of emotion charges me because of her action. I cry for a second time this day. But I'm not embarrassed because I'm crying this time. It's a necessary for me, so that I'll be free from my problems after this.
I don't want to think about anything anymore. Don't want to question anything either. Even when I feel Haruka's hands all over my body and her lips on my own lips, then I feel my stops. This feeling is so overwhelming to me..
That night I feel something new..
I feel relieved.
AN : Surprise! An early chapter! I'll try to update more frequently since there's a huge chance that I'll be joining the 'rat-race' soon.. And I really want to finish this story, for my faithful readers. What do you think of this chapter? I put a lot of interaction between Haruka and Michiru as I promised (and I didn't even mention Seiya's name in this chapter). I hope I can post a new chapter around this weekend, but I'm not sure whether I can write that fast or not. And to prevent diabetes, I won't give out cookies. Instead I'll give strawberries to Alexia, RoseCriss, Keeper Aki, Vientocortante, AleWindT, PeaPrince and Lylian for the reviews.
Alexia : Thanks for your understanding of 'this' Michiru. Here you go, an early update. And I'm happy that you like the new chapter on my other story too ^^
