Chloe thrived on helping people, on basic social interaction. She had no circle of friends in Los Angeles. She was a social butterfly and her wings had been clipped. She needed friends and a purpose.

Blogging about the Kardashians was hardly fulfilling.

She knew that her attitude wasn't helping anything - it was bogging down her relationship with Beca, and she was sure the perpetual negativity emanating from her out into the universe was the reason she was spinning her wheels in a pit of unemployed, purposeless despair.

Knowing and admitting you have a problem is only the first step on the road to recovery, however.

She was alone again in the morning, and she struggled to get motivated to get out of bed and avoid relocating to the couch. But she knew she needed to try - she had let herself waste away long enough, and the thought that she was pushing Beca away was terrifying.

A few household chores were accomplished without too much anguish. Chloe couldn't remember the last time she swept the floor or hauled out the trash.

The more she moved - stepping outside into the scorching summer heat and feeling the sun on her face for the first time in days - the better she felt.

She even smiled once. But only once. When a butterfly landed on the windowsill when she was washing dishes. It gave her a shred of hope.

It wasn't a surprise that her phone was quiet all day once again. Either Beca was angry at her for her atrocious behavior or she was giving her some space, and Chloe wasn't sure which was worse.

Swallowing her pride, she made the effort to text her.

Hi.

It took ten minutes, but eventually her phone chimed. Everything ok?

Chloe frowned. The fact that Beca felt compelled to ask if everything was okay was all the more indicative of the mess she let herself fall into.

I miss you. Do you know when you'll be home?

The ellipses that told Chloe Beca was replying appeared and disappeared a few times before a simple No came through.

She didn't like that one bit - either Beca didn't know when she would be home or she had to think about her answer and changed her mind more than once about how she wanted to answer Chloe. She started to reply when the ellipses popped up again.

Prob late. The guys wanna grab a drink.

Chloe glared at her phone. She was trying to be civil, dammit! Maybe she should have opened with an apology instead of acting like she hadn't shut Beca out last night.

Now she was pissed though. It felt like a slap in the face. She tells Beca she misses her and her response is that she's going out with Jimmy? She used to invite Chloe to join them, but hadn't done so in weeks, and certainly didn't do it tonight.

Fuming - at herself or at Beca? - she threw her phone onto the couch, went upstairs and changed into the workout clothes she hadn't touched in who knew how long, and ran out the door with nothing but her keys in her hand and iPod blaring in her ears.

Where was she going?

She had no idea.


The stitch in her side was finally too much to bear and Chloe slowed her sprint to a jog. A glance at the street sign above told her she must have been running full-out for nearly a mile. The burn in her legs told her she would really be regretting it in the morning.

But for now, as block after block passed, the burn felt wonderful. She wanted pain - it made her feel alive, something she hadn't felt in so long. Her lungs burned. Her side ached. Her quads were screaming. It was euphoric.

The sun was setting by the time her legs failed her. She was seriously regretting not bringing a water bottle with her. It had to be at least eighty-five degrees outside, even now as the sun set, and she was drenched with sweat. She walked, hands on her waist as she breathed through the pain, and finally decided to look around and figure out where the hell she was.

The freeway wasn't far ahead - she could see the overpass in the distance. She also knew she hadn't turned a corner since leaving unless the road curved, so she turned around and started walking home.

She missed Beca. So much.

Beca's career was like a rocket; neither of them were ready for so much, so fast. Starting a relationship was a major change for anyone. Then they added a cross-country relocation. And moving in together. And then Katy Perry happened. They weren't even fully adjusted to being a couple, and suddenly adulthood was happening.

Chloe was dizzy from the breakneck speed at which her life was unfolding.

There'd barely been time to enjoy or appreciate any of it, and she was so beaten down waiting for something exciting to hitch her wagon to that she was left in Beca's dust. Not that she was making much of an effort to keep up with her. Not professionally - that was largely out of her control unless she decided to do the whole exotic dancer thing after all - but emotionally.

She was so caught up in her own moping that she didn't stop to consider what Beca was going through. Beca rarely talked about feelings - it was understood that feelings were Chloe's thing, and Chloe was the one to get Beca to open up and talk, and Chloe wasn't bothering to do it. And thus, she had no idea what was even going on in Beca's head through all this. Sure, she was excited about her career and seemed confident about things, but Beca always put on a confident front. Very few people got her to open up and be vulnerable. Chloe was one of those people.

And she was so busy drowning herself in self-pity and jealousy that she didn't stop and ask Beca, "How are you today?" or talk to her about Jimmy, so she could be reassured that she had nothing to worry about.

An hour later, it was dark and she seriously regretted this entire decision - no phone, no water; just an iPod that couldn't confirm her assumption that she was moving in the correct direction since it was so old it had no Internet connection of any kind. Everything looked different in the dark and Chloe felt the anxiety creeping up on her every time a car drove by or a person passed her on the sidewalk. She gripped her keys and picked up the pace.

Car after car zipped by. One of them slowed down and its driver whistled at her and asked if she wanted a ride in a less than chivalrous manner. A pair of young men with their jeans slung low with backward baseball caps passed her and turned and followed for a block, calling out atrocious remarks about her body, the way she walked, and her hair color before they gave up and continued on their way.

She started jogging again, praying she was headed in the right direction. Another car slowed, pulling over to creep along side her keeping her pace. She heard the hum of a window being rolled down and pushed herself to run faster.

"Chloe, what are you doing?"

Chloe jumped. Beca's voice was the last one she expected to hear come from the car.

"Beca?" She stopped, and so did Beca.

"I've been trying to call you for like two hours."

Chloe stood, panting. "I needed to get out."

"Of the house?"

"Of my head," Chloe said, surprising herself at the honesty. "I thought you were going out after work?"

"I changed my mind. Are you planning to run home? It's gotta be another five miles at least."

Chloe looked up the dark street. Her heart swelled that Beca had chosen to go home rather than out with the guys. "Five?"

"Chloe, get in the car."

She nodded. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

The drive was quiet for a minute or two until Beca finally ventured, "So...you went for a run?"

Chloe laughed, a weak huff of a laugh. She hadn't really laughed in quite awhile. "Apparently."

"And you didn't take your phone?"

Chloe looked at her hands in her lap, then noticed Beca's water bottle in the console and grabbed it, chugging whatever was left.

"I didn't want it with me," she said when she was finished.

"You're always telling me to be careful - you shouldn't have gone out without it. Something could have happened."

"I know, I know."

"But you're okay?"

"Define 'okay.'"

"Your run was uneventful?"

"Other than pulling every muscle in my body, yes."

Beca sniffed, and Chloe could tell she was trying not to smile.

"Some guy offered to give me a mustache ride."

Beca laughed at that. "Oh my God, ew!"

"Ew? But I always thought you liked that!" It felt good to hear Beca laugh, and tease each other like they did before she started to lose herself.

"Well yeah, but not some guy offering to do it for you. Hands off, dude."

Chloe smiled and watched the lights pass by through the window. She'd forgotten what it felt like to have Beca want to spend time with her, to be protective of her.

It's just that life kept getting in the way.


Beca left before Chloe woke up again, but they had gone to bed together - something that hadn't happened in as long as Chloe could remember. All they did was talk, but it was more than they'd talked in the past several days combined.

Chloe could barely move in the morning - not for lack of trying, though. Her body was a mess of strained muscles and angry knots. She had stretched quite a bit when they got home, but she was paying for her irresponsible exercise in spades now. She'd known better, and that made it all the more annoying.

It took a good bit of effort, but she made it down the stairs for sustenance and flopped onto her trusty couch, turned on the TV, dragged her laptop onto her stomach, and opened her email.

And there it was.

An email from the West Hollywood Academy for the Performing Arts.

Subject: Re: Re: New Application for K-3 Teacher

Chloe held her breath and looked away as she let the email load. She had received dozens of "thanks but no thanks" responses to her applications, and no responses whatsoever to the "thank you for having me" emails she sent after her interviews.

Except this one said:

Dear Ms. Beale:

Thank you for your interest in the Hollywood Academy for the Performing Arts. After reviewing your resume and transcript and taking into consideration your considerable and relevant extracurricular experience, we are happy to offer you the position of Kindergarten Teacher.

Your employment will be effective August 1, 2015 - July 31, 2016. Please see attached.

I look forward to you joining the team.

She had to read it three times.

It was real.

There was a document attached that had a salary and schedule on it and everything.

She moved to jump off the couch, instantly regretting the strain it put on her raw muscles and instead pumped her fist in the air.

And then she cried.


When are you coming home?

Not sure. K's in the booth today. What's up?

:)

?

:))

Chlo?

:) :)

Stop speaking in emoticons, use your words!

;P

I'll try to get out of here ASAP.

:D

I'm not the boss tho.

:/

I promise I'll try.

:-D

It physically killed her, but Chloe managed to clean up the apartment, take a shower, and, most painfully of all, use the stepladder to pull a bottle of wine down from the rack above the kitchen cabinets.

She uncorked it and set it on the counter to breathe with a pair of wine glasses and hauled herself back upstairs to find something nice to wear and do her hair and makeup.

And then she sat down to await Beca's arrival.

It was nearing eleven o'clock when she heard the slam of Beca's car door. Chloe wasn't annoyed, though. She had texted a few times, updating Chloe on her status, apologizing and promising she would be home as soon as she could.

Chloe pushed herself off the couch and straightened the legs of her khakis and tugged the hem of her navy blue blouse, and waited in the kitchen.

She poured the wine.

The front door opened and she watched Beca stop in her tracks when she spotted Chloe.

The way Beca looked at her could sometimes made Chloe's heart flutter. Now was one of those times.

"Welcome home," Chloe said with a smile.

"Hi," Beca said as she dumped her gear on the chair.

She sounded wary and Chloe brightened her smile and held out her hand. "Come here."

Beca crossed the room and took Chloe's hand, squeaking when she got pulled right into a kiss that Chloe held onto for longer than a casual greeting.

She missed kissing Beca like that. It had been so long. A few pecks here and there, some of them not even on the lips, was all they had shared recently. When they parted, Beca's cheekbones held a pink tinge that wasn't there when she got home.

"So," Beca said, having to clear her throat to continue, "are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Chloe grinned. She felt ready to explode. "Guess."

Beca tilted her head, squinting. "Something tells me you'd rather blurt it out. So tell me."

She pressed her lips together, trying to hold it back until it burst out. "I got a job!" Chloe squealed and clapped and jumped, not caring about the pain in her quads. And then she threw her arms around Beca's neck and pulled her close.

Beca's arms wrapped around her waist, squeezing tight. "Oh my God - that's great!"

Chloe nodded sharply; just saying the words out loud made tears spring to her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead a sob came out, and the tears overflowed again.

It wasn't just a few months of stress.

It was seven years of not knowing what was out there for her beyond the Bellas, of being afraid of becoming an adult, of thinking she might never be more than she had become at Barden. There was light at the end of the tunnel.

Beca held her as she cried, and it felt warm and familiar. It felt like home.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" Beca asked quietly.

"What what is?" Chloe croaked, voice thick with tears. She coughed and pulled out of Beca's embrace to wipe away her tears.

Beca smiled and helped push away the tears. "Your job, weirdo."

"Oh, right." Chloe laughed. Duh. "I got the position at the WeHo performing arts school."

"Teaching?"

Chloe nodded, grinning.

"No exotic dancing?"

"I interviewed with a couple places, but they all said I'm too short."

"What!"

"Right? As if height is what guys are paying attention to."

"No, not that. You actually applied to be a stripper?"

Chloe smiled. "You're so eeeeasy, babe. Of course I didn't."

Beca pushed her hair back. "Oh thank God."

Chloe chuckled and took a seat on one of the bar stools at the counter. "You really don't want me to be a stripper huh?"

Beca made a face as she joined Chloe on a stool. "Is that a serious question?"

"No." Chloe smiled and picked up the glasses, handing one to Beca. "Cheers?"

"I feel like I should make a toast."

"If you'd like. That would be nice."

"Okay. So - to new beginnings?"

Chloe nodded and tapped her glass to Beca's. "To new beginnings."

They sipped. "So…" Beca started, a little warily.

"So?"

"Chloe's...back?"

Chloe's eyes fell. She knew what Beca meant. "I hope so," she said quietly. "I'm sorry for kind of going off the rails."

"No, honey, no," Beca said, rushing to take Chloe's hand in hers. "You don't have to apologize. I should apologize."

"What? Why?"

"You needed me. I knew you needed me and I couldn't - didn't - make time for you."

"Well you have a lot going on. You have to think of yourself, too. It's not your fault I couldn't get a job and refused to leave my pity party. I didn't ask you to make time either. And I haven't exactly been the most supportive of you."

Beca sat back, swinging their clasped hands between them a little. "Are we just going to keep deflecting the blame for everything back on ourselves?"

Chloe smiled. "Apparently."

"So we agree that I'm a selfish asshole?"

Chloe bit her lip. "I'm not responding to that."

"So you agree! You think I'm a selfish asshole!" Beca was laughing, but Chloe knew better than to walk through that open door.

"I will only agree that I need you when I'm lost."

"Emotionally as well as geographically."

"I wasn't lost last night! Not really..."

Beca sipped her wine, eyebrows raised. "Mhm."

"Oh shut up."

They made love that night - for the first time in a long time. And for the first time in a long time, Chloe almost felt like herself again.

Almost. Two months of an altered mindset couldn't be undone with a couple glasses of wine and cuddling. If only it was that easy.

"Bec?" she asked, voice a little distorted from the side of her face pressed into her pillow. Beca straddled her backside, hands working the stress out of Chloe's back.

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Shut up," she said, bumping her hips to jostle Beca. "I'm being serious right now."

"Sorry. What's up?"

Chloe took a breath. It was now or never and she really hoped this conversation didn't unravel into a fight. "What's the deal with Jimmy?"

Beca paused. "What about him?"

Chloe shrugged. "He kind of squicks me out."

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I've met him. He weirds me out. I always feel like he's ogling my goodies."

She felt a pinch on her bare butt. "Well can you blame him?"

"Beca."

"Sorry. I mean - I hadn't noticed that. He makes you feel weird?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Bec?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Has he ever said anything inappropriate to you?"

"Well, no. But he's so interested in the fact that you and I are together. And you send me pics from the studio and you're always so close and you aren't really a touchy feely kind of person with most people."

"I mean, he and I have gotten kind of close because we're together so much. But we're just friends. I'd never cheat on you - you know that right?"

Chloe nodded. "But knowing that doesn't make me feel less icky about him. I don't like him touching you and I don't like the way he looks at me."

"Okay."

Chloe could feel Beca thinking in the way her hands moved over her back, prodding and squeezing. "Well now I feel bad."

"Why do you feel bad?"

"He's your friend and I shouldn't make you feel like you have to act differently around him."

"Well...no, you shouldn't. But that doesn't mean you can't tell me that something makes you uncomfortable. And I don't like what you're saying about him checking you out."

"It's probably nothing."

More silence and more thoughtful prods.

"I don't like him," Chloe whispered, worried about how Beca would react.

"Okay. I'll be more aware of how he acts around you next time we're together."

Chloe frowned. It wasn't really the answer she wanted, but then again, she didn't know what answer she did want.

"He's basically my boss, Chlo. There's not much I can do, at least not right now. If I catch him being uncool with you I'll put him in his place."

"Can you maybe...not sit on his lap? Or at least don't send me pictures of it."

"Fair enough."

An easy silence fell between them and Beca's hands worked their way down to Chloe's lower back, drawing a number of unladylike groans from her.

"Speaking of Jimmy..."

Chloe groaned again, this time in disgust.

Beca poked her side. "You're cute when you're jealous."

"Hmmph."

"The crew is getting together Labor Day weekend. Katy's hosting this big barbecue on the beach - one last summer blowout kind of thing. I RSVP'd us, but do you want to go? It's totally okay if you don't want to."

Chloe hadn't let herself think further than a day in the future; it was too frustrating. Today was the first say she could do it.

She would be teaching by then.

"A beach barbecue with Katy Perry?"

"And her amazing, sexy new producer, Beca Mitchell."

"Oh who's that? She sounds hot."

She felt Beca bend forward, breasts pressing into her back, breath warm on her ear. "I hear she's the hottest in the business."

"Is that so?"

Teeth nipped at her earlobe. "Mhmm."

"Then I better not miss my chance to meet her."