A/N: The lemon is used for culinary and nonculinary purposes throughout the world. (Wikipedia)

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Shuuhei scratched his cheek in an absentminded way as he browsed through the notes prepared for the mission. It was going to be such a drag, having to be stationed in the human world in the coming month overseeing the regular duties, but it was his time to shine and show that he wasn't seventh seat only because of his grades in the Academy.

As he slid his dormitory door open Shuuhei kicked over a sandal. He righted it with his foot before he paused. His roommate was out on the human realm mission Shuuhei was going to relieve. There shouldn't be anyone here. Puzzled, the dark-haired shinigami proceeded to remove his own sandals and socks.

When a pair of slender, pale arms looped over his shoulders Shuuhei smiled and leaned back, peering up into the face of Kira Izuru. The blond was smiling a little tiredly. "I'm home."

"Welcome back, Izuru," said Shuuhei, pulling his young lover down for a kiss. Kira waited until Shuuhei stood up again before he hugged his dark-haired lover tightly. Shuuhei buried his nose in Kira's hair and wrinkled his brow. "Just got back?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Go take a shower," ordered Shuuhei. He half-expected Kira to be annoyed by that tone, but the blond meekly trudged out of the dormitory with a blue bath towel, heading for the communal shower room. Shuuhei was a little puzzled, but he put it down to their fight on Friday that had yet to be resolved.

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Kira let the tepid water rinse away the grime that stuck to his body, but he still felt dirty. All the way down to the bone. He shouldn't have went on that night in the forest, but the moron that he was he gave in to temptation. If the silver-haired captain-elect hadn't stopped Kira, how would Kira be able to face Shuuhei?

Even now, earlier in the room, Kira could not even look Shuuhei in the eye for more than ten seconds. The shame and guilt had burned like acid into his soul and Kira squeezed his eyes shut now, refusing to acknowledge his conscience. He turned off the tap and stepped out, wondering if he was doing the right thing in coming to Shuuhei's place. But if he went back to his own room, Renji would be there and Kira honestly could not answer Renji's questions right now.

Shuuhei would have questions too, but at least with Shuuhei, Kira knew how to divert the topic.

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Hisagi Shuuhei wondered why Kira had come here instead of staying in his own room. Not that he was complaining: the brunet still felt guilty for the way he acted last Friday. He didn't blame the terse note Kira sent – he was amazed that the blond had sent him any message at all.

Kira had come back from the shower, his hair still damp and skin pink from scrubbing. He smiled faintly at Shuuhei as he dried his hair with the thin towel he grabbed from Shuuhei's cabinet, but the older man took over the task and scrubbed the moisture from Kira's head.

"Shuu, I can – oommph – do it myself," laughed Kira.

"Let me pamper you," cajoled Shuuhei. Kira smiled, more relaxed, and rested his head against his lover's torso, luxuriating in the feel of strong hands caressing him. When the towel stopped he whined a little and then peered up into Shuuhei's unsmiling face.

"Shuu?"

"Izuru," said Shuuhei seriously, "I apologize for what I said. I had no right to dictate what you do. I'm sorry."

Kira's smile wobbled and he buried his face against Shuuhei's stomach. "I'm sorry, Shuuhei. I know you're concerned. I'm sorry."

"Shhh, hush, love." The dark-haired shinigami was touched by Kira's affection and pulled the slender blond to his feet. "Oh, honey, don't cry, 'zuru, love, shh."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," babbled Kira brokenly. When his lips were claimed by his lover he opened his mouth willingly.

Shuuhei led them to his side of the room and gently sat them both down. Kira was sniffling softly, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks blotchy. Tenderly Shuuhei rubbed the tears away with his palms and kissed Kira until he was a little calmer. The younger man clung to Shuuhei, nuzzling under the angular jaw, nibbling at the soft flesh.

"Izuru, I have to work tomorrow," chided Shuuhei half-heartedly. Kira ignored him, working his pale hand into the gap between the layers and sliding it down to widen the expanse of bare skin available to his attention. Kira licked and sampled random patches of flesh and sucked hard, marking Shuuhei in a manner that was almost ferocious. Shuuhei tried to deny the seduction but felt himself reacting to a particularly delicious licking near the back of his neck. When that cool hand began pressing into Shuuhei's lower abdomen and sneaky fingers dug beneath the belt, the older shinigami couldn't take it anymore. With a low growl and a sudden flip, he was straddling Kira's slim hips and grinding down repeatedly.

"I said," he hissed, "I have work tomorrow."

Kira's wide blue eyes widened further. "Sh-shuuhei, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"You don't have the right to call me Shuuhei, Kira Izuru. I am a seated officer," rebuked Shuuhei, his erection rubbing against the blond's at an even more urgent pace. Slowly he lowered himself until he was almost chest to chest with Kira. Shuuhei braced himself by gripping Kira's shoulders. He murmured, staring right into Kira's eyes, "How do you address a seated officer, Izuru-kun?"

"S-s-sir," whispered Kira, hypnotized. "I'm sorry sir, I'm sorry."

"Strip," ordered Shuuhei, taking a seat on Kira's left. The young blond hastily obeyed, an unfamiliar thrill at the aggressiveness Shuuhei was displaying. Those dark, canted eyes never left Kira's face. Shuuhei unfolded his arms and leaned back on his elbows, smiling languidly. "Undo my belt."

"Yes, sir." Kira swallowed as his fingers released the knot in the plain fabric. He blinked a few times to calm the heat in his face, but instead his gaze fell to Shuuhei's arousal and stayed there. He swallowed again, his mouth dry.

Shuuhei traced a finger up his erection. "You want this, Izuru-kun?" When Kira didn't answer, Shuuhei's finger tilted Kira's chin up. "Answer me."

Gin tilts my chin up with two fingers. The thought invaded Kira's mind and was hastily pushed away. He pressed his lips together and nodded his head. "Y-yes sir."

"Good. Take it then."

When Shuuhei commanded Kira to go down on him, the blond made sure his attention was fully on his lover. His actual lover. Shuuhei filled his mouth and Kira sucked hard, wanting to bring pleasure to this man who loved him. Swirling his tongue around the head as he slid up and then sucking hard as he moved lower, Kira began to feel a fogginess about him. This was right, kneeling between Shuuhei's feet, nose brushing dark, springy curls as he bobbed down, suppressing the gag reflex while making sure Shuuhei could feel as many different sensations Kira could conceive as possible. When it became difficult to move his mouth Kira focused on kissing and licking the engorged head and the thick throbbing vein, his clever fingers massaging tender erogenous areas, discovering new sensitive spots with every move.

Shuuhei was breathing heavily. "Enough." When Kira looked up, he was startled by the feral glint in Shuuhei's eyes. The dark-haired shinigami licked his lips and said, "Kneel down on the bed."

"Yes sir," panted Kira, aroused to aching point. Without waiting to be instructed he lowered himself to his shoulders and tilted his hips more invitingly. Shuuhei moved behind him, strong, warm hands gripping slim hips. After some cursory preparation Shuuhei thrust in, and at the strangled cry that erupted from Kira's throat, pushed in harder.

The throaty burble grew into impassioned whines and cries. Each time Shuuhei slid deeper in him, Kira could feel the guilt ebbing away. He needed this. He needed Shuuhei, this fire, this possessiveness that showed itself with every lick and kiss and stroke and grab and bite and - oh gods, gods, Shuu, I need you, harder please, please, harder, more, let me forget what I did, claim me again, make me yours again, please please please... oh gods I'm sorry forgive me forgive me take me again harder harder hurt me the way I deserve to be I'm sorry... "Shuuhei!"

At the sound of his name on the blond's lips, Shuuhei felt Kira clench about him and his vision darkened, the dark-haired shinigami burying his face in sweet-smelling sweat-drenched skin. This was it, this was why he could never let Gin take Kira away. He could only manage a few more thrusts before he went rigid, emptying into his lover, and then carefully, gently easing out with a pleasant fog wrapped about his brain. After some moments Kira rolled over gingerly and snuggled in, lips brushing Shuuhei's, whispering grateful thanks. They twined together and Shuuhei dragged the blankets up.

"I'm gonna be tired tomorrow at work," he grumbled without real complaint.

"I shouldn't have bathed," mumbled Kira. "I'm all sticky again."

Shuuhei chuckled. "And whose fault is that?"

All his life, Shuuhei had never wanted to keep something to himself the way he wanted Kira. He was born in poverty out in Rukongai. He had nothing that was truly his, other than his spirit. Even his body was a tool to earn money and food until he got to the academy, but by then it was Seireitei's to use as a shield and protector. But this: the sensation of Kira's warm, soft skin, evidence of his careful upbringing; the passion of the younger man's response; the press of tender lips to his; the glimmer of bright blue eyes that appeared melancholic and brooding... Shuuhei wanted all these.

Kira was murmuring something incoherent. His lover ran loving hands over the sweep of the blond's back. "Izuru, darlin'."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Shuuhei didn't know what he was expecting, but he definitely was not expecting the fierce kiss that Kira pressed to his mouth nor the long legs wrapping about him again. The kiss grew insistent and demanding, wet, hot tongue forcing its way into his mouth and exploring every crevice, stroking the inside of his cheeks and swallowing the surprisingly meek moans elicited from Shuuhei. The brunet was finding it hard to breathe, going lightheaded, and when Kira slid from his mouth to lavish the rest of his body with affection Shuuhei decided that maybe he could afford a day of exhaustion.

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Kira woke up to an empty bed and a growling stomach the next morning. He was aching in more places than was possible; some muscles that had never been abused were waving their protest flags and looking for compensation. Allowing his head to fall back, Kira breathed in the scent of Shuuhei from the pillow. It was fresh, like forests and snow, and musky at the same time.

A scent so light it's almost undetectable, wrapping around you like a single silk thread. Round and round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows...

Kira bit his lower lip to force the remorse away. It was over. It had been an accident, it had... it had been an impulse that he should never have acted on. But Gin had been so sweet: gentle and understanding, reassuring Kira, keeping him safe. And the feel of Gin's hands on Kira had driven away the nerves and fear, soothing him at his most vulnerable-

The blond bit his lip again. "Not Gin," he reminded himself under his breath. "It's Ichimaru-fukutaichou. Ichimaru-fukutaichou. Ichimaru-fukutaichou."

"Pretty Kira."

"Shuuhei loves me."

"It's alright, Kira."

"Shuuhei loves me," Kira repeated, more insistently.

"I'll help."

Kira squeezed his eyes shut. "He loves me," he said again. "Shuuhei loves me."

"Pretty Kira."

"No," whispered the blond, fingers gripping the pillowcase, inhaling deeply the fragrance of his lover. "Shuuhei loves me. He loves me."

And yet that silky voice lingered, a mere ghost of a whisper at the edge of hearing, never releasing Kira from its spell.

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He was walking about aimlessly. After a quick return to his room to change and freshening up, Kira decided that it was better to be out and about than stay in and be plagued by thoughts and doubts. To his surprise he saw Ichimaru-fukutaichou in his shinigami uniform, walking with Aizen-taichou half a block away.

His heart pounded madly. I don't think I can handle meeting them now. Quickly Kira ducked behind a wall and leaned on it. He supposed the lieutenant wouldn't want to see him either; at the debrief, Ichimaru-fukutaichou had deliberately turned to look elsewhere. Kira could understand the feeling. He could barely manage meeting Shuuhei's eyes.

"... total bitch has been doggin' my footsteps like it was the trail to her beloved Yoruichi-sama. And you made nice with the likes of her?"

Kira was surprised to hear that tone from the captain-to-be. Ichimaru-fukutaichou did come from Rukongai, and still carried a hint of the accent in his speech, but to hear the silver-haired lieutenant actually cursing was a rude shock.

"Respect, Gin. She has been captain for a long time." That was Aizen-taichou's voice, low and firm.

Ichimaru-fukutaichou snarled. "I've sat on my ass a long time too. Do I have to show it respect too?"

"She is your senior. You know better than that. For heaven's sake, Gin, act like the captain you're going to be."

"So I have to alter who I basically am to become what they want me to be? Change myself to fit their expectations? Screw them."

Kira was flushing. This was not a conversation he should be overhearing, but the two officers were not really keeping it down. Or rather, Aizen-taichou was trying to be discreet but Ichimaru-fukutaichou sounded too agitated to care.

"... being ridiculous. Why are you so riled up over nothing?"

"Because it's everything to me! Why doesn't it bother you? Why doesn't it seem to matter to you that I have only a month left by your side? Why am I the only one caring and hurting?"

Hurting? Kira wondered why Ichimaru-fukutaichou would be hurting. He was going to be captain soon... wait. That would mean he would no longer work in the fifth division under Aizen-taichou's command. And there was that old law about... something about maintaining professional distance and the forbidding of captain-to-captain relationships... That would mean they can't be together if Ichimaru-fukutaichou becomes a captain.

So absorbed in his own thoughts Kira missed a substantial part of their exchange. When he resumed listening, feeling rather bad about doing so but too curious to walk away, it was the lieutenant again.

"...with every single move and in every single glance. I am always being guided, being sheltered, being taught. Maybe I don't need you to protect me, Aizen-taichou, I know what the hell I am doing!"

"Really. Fine then. I'll stay out of your way while you make all the decisions you want, Gin. And maybe you'll get used to the foot that's going to live in your mouth."

Kira breathed out carefully. He had never heard that tone from either officer before in the division. He supposed it was an awakening of sorts: their relationship wasn't as perfect as Kira had imagined. The captain and the lieutenant both stormed away from each other, and Kira risked a peep from behind the wall.

The lieutenant was headed to the lake, judging by the direction he was going. On a whim the blond decided to follow, three blocks behind. If the lieutenant was scanning reiatsu he might discover Kira, but from the argument earlier Kira doubted Ichimaru-fukutaichou was in the mood to do anything more than brood.

It was a idyllic time of day at the lake. Kira remained in the shelter, watching from afar. He wondered if it would be presumptuous to go up to the lieutenant now – Ichimaru-fukutaichou might find his presence repugnant. But to leave when it was obvious that he needed comfort...

"Shuuhei?" mouthed Kira silently when his lover strode by the lake and was hailed by the lieutenant. The two appeared to know each other; Shuuhei sat on the grass beside Ichimaru-fukutaichou.

Kira nibbled on the inside of his cheek. They were more than acquaintances, he was sure of it. Their body language spoke volumes: the lieutenant's shoulders were relaxed, head tilted towards Shuuhei, casting him glances every now and then; Shuuhei the picture of alert concern, watching the older man as Ichimaru-fukutaichou spoke. Then the silver-haired man stood and brushed off his hakama, before running his hand through Shuuhei's spiky hair. By the look on Shuuhei's face, it was obvious this was not the first time Ichimaru-fukutaichou had touched him so familiarly. And by the look on Ichimaru-fukutaichou's face, this was not a deliberate caress, but a normal touch between... between...

"Ichimaru-fukutaichou isn't someone you can understand, Kira."

"But he makes me uneasy."

"Try not to be too close to him."

"Stop seeing him. He is out to get you, Izuru. He wants you."

Kira froze, unable to breathe properly. His hands were shaking slightly and he was cold. It wasn't supposed to be making sense, except it was terribly clear what sort of history they had. Kira was dead certain now.

"And he wants me to stay away from him?"