'I don't understand how you could have misled me into believing that London was your home and that I mattered to you'. Dempsey's hand with the whisky stopped halfway to his mouth as he remembered Harry's words. Did she say that? Was it why she was angry? 'Oh my God! She was angry because she thought … she thought … that I didn't care?', he asked himself and laughed aloud. "And I thought I had a problem with expressing what I feel", he said aloud and laughed again. "we both need to learn a lot about it, Harry" . He decided he'd call her in the morning to give her time to cool down and think it all over herself.
*****
"Harry! It's so good to see you", Harry's friend Jessie pulled her into her arms.
"Are you sure I can stay here?", Harry asked.
"Of course! can't even tell you how happy I was when I got that call from you", Jessie grinned. "It's been ages since we met. Come on in"
Harry followed her inside.
"Mike's not home yet?, Harry asked.
"He's away in Glasgow till next week so as you can see I really need some company", Jessie said.
"I'm not sure mine is what you need", Harry said quietly.
"You did sound upset on the phone", Jessie looked at her friend closely. "Is something wrong?"
"No, it's fine. I just needed to get away from the noise and… you know…work and stuff", Harry smiled. She was glad she had called Jessie. She had thought of going to her father's but she knew Dempsey could easily find her there and she didn't want to be found by him or anyone.
"You probably want to refresh yourself after the journey so I'll show you your room", Jessie said. "And then we'll have something to eat"
"Thank you", Harry smiled and followed Jessie up.
Harry took a quick shower and changed her clothes. Jessie lived in a cottage in Kent. She was a writer and her husband run his own firm. They were both Harry's school friends and she loved visiting them in this quiet countryside. She hoped spending some time there would help her find peace and focus on what's important.
She took a deep breath and went downstairs.
"Dinner's ready, Jessie said. "It's quite late so I've made something light"
After dinner they moved to the porch wrapped in warm blankets and sat there with a glass of wine each.
"So, tell me how you've been", Jessie asked.
"I'm good", Harry said.
"You've been working really hard is what I hear", Jessie smiled.
"Yes, there's a lot going on", Harry said. "One case after another"
"Good, you can give me some ideas for my next book", Jessie said.
"Oh, so you've finished 'the confession?"
"Almost, I need to make some changes before I hand it in"
"So it's not really a convenient time for me to come here"
"Don't be ridiculous", Jessie said. "I've been waiting for you to come for months and you've always been too busy"
"Sorry, but time seems to fly…"
"When you have a good time", Jessie finished. "Are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Having a good time?"
"Sometimes", Harry smiled.
"Mysterious as always", Jessie said. "We'll need another bottle of wine to loosen your tongue"
"And you as always want to know everything"
"Of course", Jessie said. "Look at me. I'm here alone, cut off from the real world..."
"Don't tell me you're complaining"
"Well, I'm not. I love it here", Jessie admitted.
"I don't blame you. It's so beautiful here"
"You should come here more often"
"I wish I could", Harry said. "So tell me how you've been. When was the last time we met?"
"Wasn't it at Kirk's party? A few months ago?"
"Oh, yes., you're right. At this nice club in Soho"
"Exactly", Jessie said. "You came with this handsome guy – James"
"I did?", Harry asked.
"Yes, the American guy"
"My partner, Dempsey", Harry said.
"You said he was your friend", Jessie said.
"Well, he is … I think", Harry said and drank her wine.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No, it's just I don't really want to talk about work"
"James's not work. He's a man and I must say he's a really handsome man"
"Well, he might not be around soon"
"What do you mean?"
"He's flying to New York"
"For how long?"
"I don't know", Harry said.
"He didn't tell you?"
"He said it was just for a couple of days"
"But you don't think so, right?"
"I think he's going there for good"
"You think?", Jessie asked. "Or you fear?"
Harry looked away and poured herself more wine.
"Harry, he's not just a friend, is he?"
Harry looked at her friend, uncertain.
"I don't know", she said quietly.
"Who should know but you?"
"It's complicated"
"Remember when I met Mike? He's just bought a house in France where he had a great job. I also said it was complicated and remember what you said?"
"That the word 'complicated' doesn't exist when it comes to love", Harry smiled.
"Exactly"
"But I'm not in love and neither is he"
"Are you sure?", Jessie smiled.
"Yes", Harry lied.
"Then why are you so upset? I must tell you your sudden decision to come here made me wonder", Jessie asked. "And don't tell me you've come because you missed me because we both know it's not true"
"Well…"
"Well what?"
"I got angry with him"
"Because…"
"Do we really have to talk about it?"
"Look, we don't have to but I don't think you came here to talk about the weather", Jessie said. "Harry, I'm your friend. I was the first one to know you were getting married, the first one to know the bastard cheated on you. You know you can trust me, right? And I think this is why you're here"
Harry smiled at her Jessie.
"So, tell me all about James", Jessie encouraged.
When Harry finished they had already finished the second bottle of wine. Jessie took some time before she spoke.
"You want to know what I think?", she asked.
"Yes"
"I think you and James need to talk"
"We did talk … lots of times"
"No, I mean really talk - say what you think, what you feel, what you want"
"Come on, I can't do this"
"Why not?", Jessie asked. "You prefer this state you're in right now? The uncertainty? The fear you might lose him?"
"Of course not"
"Then do something about it"
"Like what?"
"Did you tell him you want him to come back?"
"No"
"Then what did you tell him when he said he was flying to New York"
"I told him you can go and never come back"
"Harriet Makepeace! You're outrageous! Why did you do it?"
"Because I was angry"
"About what?"
"That he made me believe I mattered", Harry said.
"And how does the fact he's going to New York change this?"
"How do you imagine this? Him there and me here?"
"But he said he had some things to sort out there but he'd be back"
"Yes, but I don't believe him"
"How long has he been in London?", Jessie asked.
"Almost three years"
"Three years! That's a lot of time! And he hasn't seen his family at all?"
"No. He couldn't go there because there was a contract on him"
"But he can now?
"Yes, last year we got the guy who was behind the contract"
"Why didn't he go back then?"
"I don't know", Harry said. "Actually I never thought about it"
"Maybe someone's been keeping him here"
"Like who?", Harry asked.
"A beautiful blond English woman?"
"Me? Don't be ridiculous", Harry laughed.
"Why not?"
"It's crazy"
"Not as crazy as your reaction to him flying there. Hasn't it occurred to you he's got family there whom he misses and maybe this is what he needs to take care of?"
"Well I suppose this could be it. To be honest I would be on the first plane there if I were him"
"So you understand it, right?", Jessie noted. "Then what's the problem?"
"What if he likes It there? What if he decides to stay?"
"That's why you need to talk, you need to tell him what you fear. He needs to know you'll be waiting here"
"Oh, no. I'm not going to to this", Harry said.
