A/N - Have you hugged your beta recently? Hugs to Mac, Jkane180, katinki for making this readable. Also snugglehumps to Perrymaxed for coming on as a beta. Yes, I'm a beta h00r. I learn so much from peer reviewing so I take the concrit where I can find it. Also? Perry googled "red winging" for me. Speaking of which, there's a little blood in this chapter. There's also a lemon.
The morning light peeked through the musty motel blinds, piercing through my slumber. My iron limbs weighted me to the bed. I stretched and rolled over, scrunching my nose up in confusion at the heavy flannel and lace night shirt I wore; I didn't remember putting on before going to sleep. It chafed my neck, the buttons tight around my throat.
Stranger still was the white dress shirt swaddled between my legs and tied around my hips.
"Edward?" I whispered groggily, swiping my eyes with my fists.
"Good morning," Edward replied cheerfully, his brilliant teeth shimmering as he smiled.
"Morning," I croaked. "Am I wearing a diaper?"
"Not exactly. You were asleep when I returned with the sanitary pads, and I didn't want to wake you." He ran his hand over my hip, tugging lightly on the tied shirtsleeves. "I improvised."
"Oh . . . thank you." I grabbed a pillow and covered my face with it, groaning in humiliation. Also, I was pretty sure I'd requested tampons, not pads. Maybe he didn't know the difference.
"Did I make another mistake?" he asked, his tone belying his dejection.
"No. Every girl wants to wake up in a make-shift diaper her newly acquired, supernatural lover fashioned with his clothes." I pushed his hand off me, jumping out of bed. "Gross," I muttered, untying the soiled garment. I really wanted to ask him why it was easier to trundle me in a shirt rather than just placing a pad between my legs, but he already looked so disappointed.
"May I have that?"
"No. Ew! No!" I grabbed a pillow off the bed, briefly considering slapping him across the face with it. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You want to chew on my used pads like a naughty puppy that's ransacked the trash?"
"I'm not going to chew on it." He narrowed his eyes, looking genuinely angry, his lips pulling in a frown. "I simply wanted to dispose of it." I barely noticed as he grabbed the shirt from my hand, sitting beside me and kissing my neck. "Besides," he added, "if I wanted a taste, I'd take it from the source."
I whimpered, crossing my legs and leaning into his kiss.
Memories of what he said yesterday came flooding back to me, a deluge of lust shocking my body awake.
"I have your breakfast," he announced, handing me a brown bag streaked with grease.
And just like that, the lust dissipated.
"What's in it?" Maggots squirmed beneath dead flesh in my memory, my stomach roiling, as I peered inside.
"It's a McGriddle with sausage and eggs," he said warily, contemplating my face. "I hope you like it. I thought it would be prudent to stick with McDonald's until I get to know your taste in food a little better."
"It's perfect," I sighed, relieved, tearing into the package. Despite the dull nausea that still churned in my gut, my body screamed for the greasy breakfast.
"I'm glad it meets with your approval." He sounded pathetic, and I instantly regretted being harsh with him.
"Oh, Edward," I managed between bites. "I'm being a bitch, aren't I? It happens around this time of month," I added for levity.
"You're not . . . don't call yourself that word."
I ignored him, chewing my breakfast mindlessly for a few minutes before noticing his nostrils flaring and his eyes darkening to a creepy onyx. "Wuh?" I asked with a mouth full of food.
"The smell, love." His eyes fixated on my stained underwear.
"Oh, shit! I was so hungry . . . I wasn't thinking." I jumped off the bed and shimmied out of the panties right in front of him since we were well past the need to protect my modesty.
"You'll find what you need in the bag on the nightstand," he said, his voice taking on the texture of gravel.
"Thanks . . . again."
We both looked at the discarded panties sitting in a graceless heap at the foot of the bed.
"Bella . . . may I-"
"Yeah," I said quickly. "Take them. They're yours."
"Just to throw them out," he clarified. "I'm not going to do anything offensive with them. It's just . . . the smell is maddening." He pinched his nose as if he'd come down with a sudden migraine, his brow furrowing violently. "I'm so hungry, Bella. You have no idea . . ."
The words should have frightened me. He was a shark; I was a bleeding lamb, and he wanted to consume me, but his eyes . . . they told a different story.
He wanted to fuck.
"How so?" I asked, approaching him slowly. I grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his face, and he sighed at the sudden contact, his forehead smoothing. I let out a little squeak of pleasure too. I found it unsettling, how my body responded to his touch - even a simple, innocent gesture like holding his hand made me half-crazed with lust. He threaded his fingers through mine eagerly, squeezing.
"I find it difficult to be around you sometimes." He grimaced, inclining his head until our brows touched. "Like I won't be able to control my desires."
"Your hunger?"
He nodded.
"What do you crave more, my body or my blood?" I asked, taunting him, for the life of me I didn't understand why.
"I'd never hurt you," he said, his eyes flashing in dark anger.
"I . . . I think I believe that. I mean, I know you don't want to hurt me, but isn't it in your nature to do just that?"
"No. It goes against my nature to hurt you, Bella. Every cell in my body aches for you. I only want you to be mine. I'd never harm you. Please?" he begged, letting go of my hand so he could wrap his arms around me. He pushed his palms into the small of my back so every inch of our bodies were in contact. "I just want to hold you and kiss you. Please, let me? I've never felt this way before."
"But . . . you said you're hungry," I protested but pressed myself firmly to him.
"For you." He lowered his face to my neck and left cool kisses on my skin. I shivered, sighing with pleasure at the sensation: searing and cold all at once. His mouth traversed the landscape of my neck with a maddening slowness, and he nudged my head back, cupping my chin in his hand to gain access to my throat.
He could've killed me right then. I would have let him. His proximity quelled every survival instinct in me.
"More," I groaned, wrapping my arms around him, uncertain of what I wanted more of, only that I'd never have enough of his touch.
"May I have you?" He tilted his hips, and I could feel his erection straining through his pants. Was he trying to hump me? Mike used to do that when we made out . . . but this was different. He seemed to be teasing me, exercising restraint. Offering me a little taste of himself without overwhelming me.
Fuck me, it was hot.
"You may." My voice trembled. "Edward?"
"Yes, my love?"
"I'm frightened. Will it hurt?"
"I don't think so . . . I hope not." He unbuttoned my night shirt and sighed, running his hands over my stomach and pausing at my ribs.
"You're not sure?" I gasped, arching and twisting, pleading through half-closed eyes for him to touch my breasts. He brushed the undersides of them with the gentlest pressure.
"I've never made love to a human woman before . . . or a virgin. I'll be very gentle; we can stop whenever you wish if it's not pleasurable."
"Okay," I said before I could change my mind. "I want to."
"This is wrong." He pulled away, burying his face in his hands. "Taking your virtue in a tawdry motel room isn't the right way to do this."
"Edward, are you about to go all Victorian on me? Because you can stop." I dropped to my knees, grabbing him by the buckle of his belt. "I'm not virtuous. I've sucked cock. I'll suck yours, if you want."
A strangled groan tore through him. His hand cupped my head, stroking my hair tenderly for a moment before he also lowered himself to the floor. "Lay back," he ordered, his voice firm, commanding.
I shrugged the flannel shirt off my arms and laid it beneath me on the floor.
Edward chose that moment to vanish. Literally, one second he stood above me, his eyes black with want, and the next . . . nothing.
"Um . . . Edward?"
"Just a moment."
"Where are you?"
"Behind you."
His body became a flash of motion and sound, the wind he created rustling my hair like feathers. Before I could speak, a pillow materialized under my head and a towel under my butt.
What the hell?
"I'm eager," he explained apologetically, his bare cock bobbing proudly as he stood, suddenly fully naked, above me. I propped myself up on my elbows to get a better look at him, my tongue dragging across my lip, probably several times. A bead of drool escaped the corner of my mouth like a snake dripping venom.
Salivation is a normal reaction to lust, I reminded myself.
"I want you," I whispered like a tiny mouse, the words barely squeaking out of my mouth. He stared at me, his eyes communicating so much at once . . . I couldn't fathom the emotions behind them. "What are you thinking?"
"I want to love you. I want you to look at me and see the man inside of the monster. Do you think you'll ever be able to see beyond . . ." He dropped to his knees beside me, turning his beautiful face away from mine. "If you have any doubts, Bella, please don't go through with this."
"Edward," I said carefully, trying to control the quiver in my voice. I reached for him, turning his face so he'd have to look at me. "I have no clue about anything anymore. I thought I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted . . . now all I want is you. I swear, it feels like agony when you're not touching me. I need you to touch me. I need you to-"
He silenced me by crushing his mouth against mine, most likely bruising me, but I didn't care. I cried out, a deep keening sound, losing myself in the sheer ecstasy of his kiss. Opening my mouth, I tried to encourage his tongue to caress mine, but he kept a respectable distance between the tender flesh of my mouth and his teeth.
His lips explored my face, my neck, my shoulder, finally settling in the valley between my breasts. "You're so beautiful," he said against my skin. "I almost can't stand it."
His tongue swirled around my nipple, the cool, wet sensation making me writhe and arch off the floor, my nipples becoming stone.
Without thinking, I begged for his dick. "Fuck me, Edward. I need to feel you between my thighs." The words that flew from my lips weren't mine. Clearly, I'd become possessed.
He lifted his head from my breast, his eyes boring into mine, probably trying to decide if I meant what I'd just asked of him. His hand travelled at an achingly show pace down my belly, settling onto the tuft of hair on my pubic bone.
I wish I'd waxed...
"May I touch you?"
I nodded, my eyes feeling like saucers as I watched, transfixed by his long fingers. His fingertips disappeared beneath my hair, the tendons in his hand shuddering as he rubbed my clit.
Cold against hot, hard against soft, it was like nothing I'd ever felt. I almost screamed at the sensation, throwing my head back and squeezing my eyes shut, as he stroked and teased me, strumming every nerve ending in my body like a guitar.
I lifted my hips off the ground, encouraging him to explore a deeper region. He acquiesced, dipping his finger barely inside of me, stroking the entrance to my pussy. He knelt down by waist to get a closer look, forcing my thighs apart with his free hand.
"Your hymen's intact."
"You always say the strangest things," I gasped, biting my lip to stifle a moan. "I told you I'm a virgin."
"It's marvelous. I can see it." He withdrew his finger, licking the blood off.
"I think I've reached my limit for weird." I grabbed his wrist to pull him away from my intact hymen, shuddering in disgust at the blood on his hand. "I want you inside of me . . . not your finger."
His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, appearing nervous. He grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his hips, settling himself where I craved him, his cool shaft grazing my slit. "The skin flap covered your vaginal canal almost completely."
"That's hot," I said sarcastically. "Look, if you don't want to then-"
He pushed himself forward with an unceremonious thrust, sheathing his dick completely inside of me, groaning the word, "fuck," coaxing a strangled, guttural sound from my throat in response.
Edward stared down at me with wide, horrified eyes while I propped myself up to examine the point at which our bodies were now attached. I cocked my head to get a better angle.
I liked what I saw - being connected.
"Wow," I remarked, having no other word to express how I felt. Actually, I didn't feel very much . . . no unicorns, fireworks, or angels singing. Also, no pain.
"Say something! Are you hurt, love?" He held my hips, seemingly afraid to move.
"So much for my hymen." He had seemed to like it; I was glad to be rid of it.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." He began to withdraw, but I pressed my feet into his ass to stop him. His eyes narrowed quizzically, his expression metamorphosing from anguish to confusion and finally settling on lust, darkening as I squeezed my legs to urge him forward.
His cock slid easily back in, and I still felt no pain. I did, however, feel what could only be described as butterflies in my belly - like I was nervous but each flutter caressed me with pleasure rather than panic.
"Don't stop," I said firmly. "I like it." I wriggled a little, feeling a dull ache inside me, a throbbing that seemed to demand more friction. My vagina had always felt water tight; being full was such an alien sensation . . . a good one.
He withdrew a little bit and pushed down gently, an explosion of pleasure again shooting through my groin and settling in my belly.
"Oh," I sighed. "It does feel good. Wow."
"I love you," he said with an odd reverence. He laid his body flat over mine so our chests pressed together, keeping his weight balanced carefully on his arms. "Only you," he groaned. "I'll never make love to any one else. Even if you never let me touch you again."
I couldn't imagine not letting him ever touch me again.
"Fuck me," I whispered in reply.
"Oh, sweet Chr-" He pushed forward again, rocking his hips, my body replying in kind, as if I'd done this a million times before. His hips became a flurry of frenzied motion, moving faster than I could keep up with at times, but I tried to move with him, to match each of his thrusts with one of my own.
"Can you come, love?" he inquired breathlessly.
I shook my head. I didn't think so . . . not yet.
He made fists on either side of me, clutching at the worn carpet, and I cried out, begging and pleading with him to give me something . . . I wasn't certain what.
"Please?" I moaned. "Please?"
"Oh, god." A feral-sounding half-growl, half-groan rumbled through him, and he stopped moving, his eyes closing and face twisting with pleasure. "So warm. You're so warm inside, love." He dropped his face to my breasts, kissing every inch of bare skin while muttering gibberish about my temperature, my scent, the blush of my skin - things no one had ever commented on before.
"Did you come?" I asked after several minutes. I'd assumed so since he was no longer fucking me.
"Yes." He chuckled. "I'm going to do the same for you now."
I shook my head. "I've never really had an orgasm. Don't waste your time."
"Even if I fail, love," he said smoothly, lowering his face between my legs, "it won't be a waste of time.
We didn't make it to the bed. When the sun started to set, we were still writhing together on the floor.
xxxx
"Edward?" I called tentatively, padding over the carpet. "Where are you?"
The door opened, and he smiled apologetically. "Just went to find a newspaper. I wanted to check the forecast."
"You can do that with the TV," I reminded him, giggling.
"It might be foggy outside tomorrow," he replied pleasantly.
"Really? You want to talk about the weather?" I bent over, unwrapping the towel from my head and shaking my hair out like a wet dog.
"I'm happy to speak to whatever topic you choose. I only meant to say it's safe for us to go outside in the fog. There's, er, very little direct sunlight." In a very human gesture, he fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt, his eyes cast downward.
"Are you looking at my legs?" I asked suddenly.
"Yes," he said without a modicum of shame.
"So, you want to go outside?"
"I think it's a good idea . . . if you feel ready."
"I don't know," I frowned, chewing nervously on my index finger. "The last time we-"
"Hush," he whispered tenderly, wrapping his arms around me. "No rush. We'll wait. We have all the time in the world." He actually winked at me, kissing my fingertips. "I'm just heading out to get your supper. Would you like another cheeseburger?"
"Do you think you could find me a pizza?"
"Oh, yes." He laughed. "I'm an excellent hunter."
The smile froze on my face as an object beside the bed caught my attention: a telephone.
"Starbucks, too, please. I want a latte." I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. He'd notice my my heart rate elevated.
"Your wish is my command," he said with a flourish, smiling eagerly.
"Take your time," I said, careful not to make eye contact.
A/N - upon my betas recommendation, I cut this out of the chapter. I'm pasting it below because it made me giggle:
I can't bring myself to regret the decisions that brought me face to face with death… they also brought me to Edward.
I never gave much thought to how I'd lose my virginity. But shedding my hymen to someone who loved me seemed like a good way to go.
News and stuff - I'm hosting a contest called Spanking the Monkey. Submit your wank! There's a link on my profile :D Also, big love to whomever nominated Stigmata Tomato and my BBS outtake Mac's Cheese for a Gigglesnort Award. I believe voting is open - check out the nominated fics because they're hilarious!
FFn is still being a little bitch. I managed to reply to about half of the reviews of the last chapter before it cock blocked me. Hope that won't stop you from making my phone buzz.
