Disclaimer: Still not mine but Christmas is around the corner. :op
AN: Thank you to all those who have reviewed. They really do make my day. :o) Enjoy :o)
Chapter 12
Thursday 24th December: Christmas Eve
JJ woke the next morning with the hint of a hangover from the night before. It had been quite a while since she had last partaken in any serious drinking, usually ending up missing nights out with the team to come home to spend time with her son. She stretched in her bed and let her mind wander to the events of the previous evening, enjoying the fact that she didn't need to get out of bed early for work.
She thought back over the comments and the looks she had received from the brunette. The one moment that kept replaying over and over in her mind was catching the glimpse of the unguarded Emily. JJ had never seen the brunette with as few walls as she did in that single moment. There was an undeniable feeling of warmth that spread through her when she had witnessed that look directed at her. The one word uttered from the brunette's lips had managed to make her heart skip a beat.
Then there were the gifts. After the way Emily spoke of gifts, JJ was certain that it was Emily who had been behind the presents she had received. As the blonde contemplated all of the events and comments, she reached one conclusion…That Emily's feelings for her went far deeper than just friendship. The only question that remained was how deep her feelings for the other woman ran.
Emily made her way to the coffee pot and flicked the switch. It never ceased to amaze her that even on her days off she would still wake at the same time as normal. Her routines so ingrained that there was no point attempting to stay in bed longer. She cast a glance at the last gift she had sitting on the side. It was the one she'd had the greatest trouble in finding but she hoped it would be worth it. She had only two things left to do to accomplish her plan…First she had to find the right words to accompany her gift and then she had to find a way to get it to JJ without giving away her identity.
Keeping it secret from the blonde had been on of the hardest things she had done. She could tell the blonde suspected it could be her but until she was asked outright, then she hoped her secret remained safe.
As she poured herself a coffee she stepped across her kitchen and lifted the final gift, hoping that as she looked at it, inspiration would strike. The words for every other gift had just flowed easily as soon as she sat down with her notepad. This one…This one was harder. She didn't know if it was because it was the final gift she was giving or if it was the fact that only a few people knew the significance of this particular gift making it easier for the blonde to narrow her suspect list. Emily sighed as she placed it back on the side.
She moved to look out over the city beneath her as she let her mind wander. Thinking back over the past few years, she couldn't help but dwell on the times she had spent with the blonde. There had been something that had captured her attention from their first meeting. As time went on and the two agents became friends, she felt her feelings for the younger woman deepen. There was no way she could pin point the exact moment when her feelings changed from platonic to something more but it happened. The looks and touches became far more significant than just playful banter. Part of her had hoped that the blonde was feeling the same things but just when she had been convinced that her hope may not be totally misguided, Will had happened.
Emily took a long drink from her coffee as she reminded herself of the reasons for sending the gifts to the blonde in the first place. The loss of the sparkle in those blue eyes she so loved to lose herself in whenever the opportunity presented itself. She had noticed how as the days went on, the sparkle was slowly returning. Then last night…That's when the old JJ had been back.
Glancing at the clock she knew she only had a couple of hours to come up with the right words for the final gift to allow her to deliver it in time for Christmas morning. Emily moved to her couch and lifted the notepad that lay on the arm. Pausing for a moment, she thought before starting to write.
JJ had spent the morning wrapping gifts. Since the decoration of her home, the Christmas spirit had certainly made its way into the blonde. There was a feeling of excitement that had been slowly building over the previous few days that she hadn't felt since her childhood.
The blonde had been waiting for either Emily or Garcia to make an appearance to collect their cars. After the amount of alcohol they had consumed the night before, the other two women had taken a taxi home, leaving their cars parked outside. If JJ was honest, she was checking out of her window every few minutes just in case she missed seeing the brunette. She hadn't wanted to spend too much time considering the reason behind the desire to see the older woman, she just knew it was there.
JJ reached into the box to retrieve a new roll of wrapping paper when her hand came into contact with something different. She pulled the box closer to allow her to peer inside. As she looked in, she saw a rectangular gift wrapped in the familiar red paper with the same two letters that gave her an instant smile and rush of excitement.
She lifted the gift up into her hands, her fingers briefly tracing over the two letters of her name. Her mind racing through the possibilities of what may lie within the wrapping. She slid her finger under the edge and pulled the tape free, unfolding the edges, prolonging the unwrapping.
As she removed the paper she was greeted with a faded purple cloth cover of a book. On the front cover in gold lettering was the title…'Little Women'. JJ opened the cover of the book and found the words she had been searching for. It was the original 1868 first edition of the book. Tucked inside was the note that JJ had come to love as much as the gifts. Lifting the note from the pages that held it, she began to read. JJ...There are many Beth's in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind...Just know this, I see the sacrifices you make and am thankful for the shadows you help chase away on a daily basis.
JJ felt a single tear slip down her cheek as she re-read the message. She knew when she took the job what it entailed but she had never understood the toll it would take on her personally. She never realised the sacrifices of parts of herself she would have to make just to do her job. Perhaps more significantly, she never realised that anyone else understood what she had to do every day. Yet here it was in black and white that someone understood. Not just someone, JJ knew the identity of the person…Emily understood.
Garcia stepped out of the cab and glanced over to see if JJ was in. Noticing her car sitting on the drive she made her way up to the front door and knocked. As she waited for the blonde to answer she cast a quick glance back at the street and took note that Emily's car was still parked behind hers. She smiled as she put the next part of her plan together in her mind.
"Hey Garcia."
"Happy Christmas Eve kitten." Garcia smiled at her friend. "Thought I'd take the chance to see my godson since I had to come by to collect Bertha."
"Bertha?"
"My car. All cars need a name." The blonde commented as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Is he up?"
JJ stepped away from the door, opening it wider to allow the other woman entrance. "He's in his playpen."
The two women made their way through to see Henry. It wasn't long before the two of them had settled into an easy conversation as Garcia made a fuss over the baby. JJ took the opportunity of having Henry occupied to finish wrapping all the gifts and place them under the tree.
The next sound that roused them was a knock on the front door. JJ cast a quick glance over at where Garcia had Henry occupied with a reindeer and was telling him a more politically correct version of the song before heading out to answer the door.
Emily stood on the doorstep wondering if she would be able to pull off the final gift delivery without being discovered. She could feel her nerves starting to get the better of her as she waited. As the door opened, Emily's nerves faded away as she met sparkling blue eyes.
"Hey Em…I was wondering when you were coming over." JJ smiled broadly at the other woman. Despite all the questions she still had surrounding her feelings for the older woman, one thing was for certain, she was very happy to see her standing on her doorstep. "Come in, Garcia is with Henry."
"We're not having a repeat of last night are we?" Emily tried to grimace at the idea but found it increasingly difficult to maintain anything but a smile in the blonde's presence.
"No alcohol for at least another day or so." JJ winked at the brunette as they made their way back through to the older blonde.
Emily greeted Garcia as she entered. Seeing Henry look up at her and extended his arms to her as she walked in, she took the opportunity to lift him up for a cuddle. Every time she looked into his big blue eyes she just had to comply with his wishes. The same could be said about the effect his mom's blue eyes had on her.
None of the women realised how much time had passed since they had all gathered together once more. Their conversation flowed easily and the afternoon was filled with laughter.
"Drinks?" JJ stood from the couch feeling decidedly in need of a drink after the last laughing fit over the new calendar Garcia had created or the twelve months of Morgan as she affectionately called it. Hearing agreements from both women, the blonde made her way into the kitchen. Emily offered to lend a hand and vanished into the kitchen along with JJ. It was at this point that Garcia put her own plan into action.
"Wow…Is that the time?" Emily looked over at the clock on the wall and realised they had all been sat there for several hours. "I should get going." She stood from the couch, stretching slightly as she rose. As she did so, her shirt rode up ever so slightly revealing the toned surface of her stomach.
Garcia noticed JJ's eyes drop to take in the newly exposed skin and smiled to herself. She watched as JJ stood to show Emily out just as she had hoped. Garcia also stood and made her way into the hall first. She stepped out onto the doorstep before turning just as her two friends were making their way out of the lounge. "Hold it."
At the sound of Garcia's voice, both women stopped dead in their tracks. "What's wrong Pen?" JJ asked as a slight frown creased her brow.
"Look up." The smile that was playing on the analysts lips belayed any fears they had.
As the two women looked up, they noticed something that both could swear had been absent prior to this very moment. Hanging directly above them was mistletoe. Emily was the first to look away and glanced over to her friend who offered a wink in return.
JJ kept looking at the mistletoe for a moment. Slowly she allowed her gaze to drop to meet that of the brunette standing beside her. As she looked into those deep brown eyes she could see the insecurity flashing behind them. A sight she was not accustomed to seeing in the older woman's gaze.
Emily felt her heart begin to pound against her rib cage with such force she was sure it was visible. Her breathing had become very shallow as she looked into those blue eyes. The prospect of feeling JJ's lips on her own, preventing any form of coherent thought. Her whole body felt frozen to the spot. This may be one of her wishes but now she was standing face to face with it, the fear about what may be overwhelmed everything else.
JJ made a decision in that moment. She stepped that one step closer to the brunette. She was able to feel the heat radiating off the older woman's body. Her eyes remained locked with brown eyes that seemed to be searching for something. JJ slowly reached her hand up to brush a strand of hair behind Emily's ear. Her fingertips lightly grazing across her eyebrow, the top of her ear and down before coming to rest against the back of her neck. She paused for a second to see if the brunette would pull away. When there was no motion, JJ leant in closer. As her lips were a hairs breadth away from the brunette's she paused for the smallest of moments to give the other woman a chance to stop it if she desired. Then their lips made contact. Her blue eyes drifted shut at the first touch of impossibly soft skin. The kiss was gentle and could have been passed off as two friends fulfilling a Christmas tradition. That was until JJ felt Emily's lips respond. Her mind ground to a complete halt as sensation took over. She felt Emily's hands come to rest on her hips, gently pulling her closer. She wasn't sure who initiated it but the next feeling she was aware of was the velvety smoothness of the brunette's tongue caressing her own.
Eventually the two women parted, both short of breath, neither knowing how long had passed. Their eyes locked and in that moment, there were no walls...no compartments…Everything was plain to see. JJ could see the feelings swimming in the brunette's eyes which held her captivated. Before either woman could speak, the sound of Henry crying broke the spell. JJ turned to look back into the room and when she turned back, Emily had retreated to the door.
"I've got to get going, my mother is expecting a visit." Emily explained in a rush as she made her way out and down the steps. JJ didn't have a chance to comment before the brunette was at the bottom of the steps and making her way to the sidewalk. She followed Emily's progress with her eyes, her whole mind awash with feelings and questions. As the brunette pulled away, JJ turned her attention to her friend who was still standing by the door.
Seeing her friend's questioning look, Garcia sighed slightly. "Before you ask me anything, you need to ask yourself one question. You need to ask yourself what you really want. When you know that answer, you won't need to ask me anything Jayj. You'll know what to do." Garcia moved forwards and pulled her friend into a hug. "You know the answers, you just need to see them for yourself." JJ watched as her friend left, leaving her to find the answer to the all important question…what she really wanted.
AN: God Jul T. Må alla dina önskningar gå i uppfyllelse. (Hope I got that right!) ;o)
