Chapter 12

SAM POV

He could feel a strange warmth overcoming him more and more, his darkness had stayed the same, but he could feel some of his uneasiness beginning to fade, his sense's started to diminish once again, but overall he had to begin to feel warm, and stranger still almost at peace, something Sam hadn't known in a long time. It was a strange sense, in fact they were all strange, what was happening he could no longer hear or feel the things around him, he just was….it was strange.

Andy entered the hospital almost buzzing, she was doing a slow jog up the stair she couldn't wait to just get this done so that she could finally just see Sam again, she knew the road ahead to would be along one, and that things were far from okay between them but he had always been there when it mattered for her, so she would do the same for him despite their past problems. As Andy approached Sam's room, her attention was drawn to the sobbing noises coming from the adjacent area, when she glanced over her heart began to speed up and her eyes began to well with tears, there leaning against the wall in a crouched position was Sara, her hands may have covered her face, but her sobs were clear through the noises that left her crouch figure, along with what almost seemed like a shudder with every breath she took. Andy stood silent for a moment, not understanding what was happening, even though she knew what it was, she didn't know what to do or say, within a moment Andy saw one of the nurses leaving Sam's room, she be lined over to her, without a taking a breath she sputtered out "what is happening with Sam!"

The nurse, turned and looked at Andy the compassion clear in her eyes when she recognized who she was. Andy didn't realize it was the nurse that had been in Sam's room the other day when she was visiting him, she was too busy huffing to herself sounding almost animatistic as she waited for an answer.

"He had another episode, I'm so sorry at this point it could be hours or days, his heart is just too weak to continue fighting." The nurse explained

"what do you mean, can't you use a machine to help him breath or whatever until you figure out what is happening to him, he's not getting weaker he was getting stronger you said it yourself "Andy questioned her voice beginning to rise with each word spoken

"he had moments that he seemed stronger, but that hasn't occurred again in the recent days, and he seems to be getting weaker and under the new circumstances we can't take any more measures than currently being used, now it is about making him as comfortable as possible "the nurse explained raising her hand slightly to touch Andy's arm if to gain her understanding

"why would you do that, make him comfortable, you need to make him better, and do whatever it takes, he will get better he was, and he will again Andy's voice was firm but still cracking as she uttered the words.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything else, I probably shouldn't have told you as much as I did, his sister is his next of kin and well, I'm sure you are aware you shouldn't be here..."The nurse said eying her cautiously

"I have every right to be here, the court order that Sara had me served with is void, I'm not sure about everything yet, I wanted to come here and talk to her first but I guess there is no time for that now, can you please get the doctor to come and see me when Sam is okay, he will be ok still right….."

"As I said his latest episode has left him very weak, we are making him comfortable but I can't tell you what that will mean in the short or long-term, I'm sorry, I will get the doctor to come and see you in his office once Mr. Swarek is stable, it is through those doors on the right, you can wait inside the door "the nurse continued to point towards the door, but Andy's gaze still stayed towards Sam's room, she gently touched her arm again, her head turning back to the nurse, a tear escaping her eye, If anything changes I will come get you, I promise ok" with a nod and whispered thanks she headed towards the doctor's office to wait.

It seemed like forever, Andy sat on the chair as instructed biting her slower lip and tapping her foot. When the doctor approached her she almost didn't acknowledge him as she was wound up she didn't know what to do, when he spoke she almost jumped out of her skin,"Ms. McNally I presume?"

"Yes, Hi I'm Andy "she raised her hand to his shakily

He extended his hand and gently shook hers, "I'm doctor Scully, and I understand you wanted to talk to in regards to ?"

"Yes, I do, please "she replied

"How can I help you?"

"From talking to the nurse earlier, Sam's condition isn't any better, and well she said something about making him comfortable what does that mean? "Andy asked he voice betraying her fear that she was desperately trying to keep hidden

"I'm sorry I can't really tell you much, under the circumstances, being as Ms. Swarek is his next of kin and the obvious order, which she made us aware of…"

Andy quickly interrupted the doctors current thought process and statement and looked at him poignantly. "she may be his next of kin, but I have his medical power of attorney, while I'm sure of all the details, from what I do know I have the right to be involved in his care, and make medical decisions on his behalf, is that not correct."

The doctor looked at her, surprise was not the only expression crossing his face. After a moment and gathering of his thoughts he began to reply.

"Well, I would have to look at the documents, but judging from what you're saying that would be correct."

"Here is a copy of the order, it is dated and notarized, so can you please tell me what is happening with Sam, now….please? "Her voice almost begging

The doctor looked at her, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, he was taken aback by her attempts to steady her words and keep her emotions in check, when it was clear that heart was breaking and her voice was cracking. The doctor motioned for her to take a seat as he approached his desk and opened the file which contained Sam's chart. The doctor spoke slowly going over each detail of Sam's injuries, from the time of the accident until present, he discussed his findings in regards to his current episodes, which were causing his heart to get weaker with every one that he suffered. Looking up at her momentarily, he stopped noting the redness in her eyes, and continued softly until he was able to tell her the reason that the nurse had mentioned making him comfortable was because his sister had signed a DNR Order, which means that they would not give any extreme measures again to stop nature from taking it course. It was loud and abrupt and something the doctor did not expect, Andy sat up full speed sending the chair back against the wall, he was sure her wailing scream could be heard through the entire hospital "no that can't happen".

With a calm tone, the doctor began to speak again "Ms. McNally, seeing as this order was decided upon before Swarek had given you his medical power of attorney we can discuss any changes in his care that you would like, that is why we went through all of his diagnosis' in detail."

Andy took in everything that the doctor had said and seemed to visibly calm down, "I'm sorry, it's just….you caught me off guard, I never thought that Sara would do that, or that it would come to this, I just, he needs to get better, and I want to do what is best for him.

The doctor again looked poignantly at Andy, "I understand, you have to do what you think is best given the change in circumstances, would you like me to give you some time "he asked

"No, I only have one question, if anything changes, I don't want…" it was at that moment that everything came crashing down, the realization of what she was doing, of what Sam had trusted her to do, how could she have been so blind in the past not to realize that even if he made a mistake when he walked away from her, she had walked away from him more than once but he still had trusted her to have her partner back always… The reality was crushing, and humbling all at the same time, she would help him, like he had always helped her and that ment what was best for him, no matter what the future may hold. Andy dried her face, "I'm sorry, I just want to know that, I don't want him in any pain, I want him to try again, have a chance, if it gets to the point if he is suffering can I… Doctor Scully raised his hand in understanding "yes, you can reinstate the DNR in the future, if things don't get better. So we will have to start processing the changes and we will make sure that we do all we can, to start we will be putting him on oxygen again and starting iv antibiotics to help clear up some of the infections, does that sound alright?"

"Yes please Andy replied, please let me know if you need anything else, can I go see him now"andy whispered

"yes, he should be back in his room now, ill let the nurses and the administration know of the changes alright, and ill keep you posted on any results we receive back"

Andy thanked the doctor and headed to sam's room. As she walked nearer to his room, a tear escaped her eye, which she quickly wiped away. Opening the door to his room, Andy walked over to sit beside him, she was surprised Sara was not yet in the room, but took a moment to breathe, she was relieved, she would have a moment alone with Sam, and time to think how to deal with Sara. Andy was pushing the hair back from sam's face,gently rubbing her thumb over his ear when she heard someone yell "sara"from the hallway it was Ollie. She would hear them outside the door, it was wrong to listen, but it wasn't her fault they were talking there, so what could she do but listen, right.

"Ollie thanks for coming, I didn't know who else to call"sara said her voice strained

"whats wrong, is he okay?"the sudden calmness gone from his voice

Sara broke down in tears, and leaned into oliver as he offered her an embrace. She babbled on about what the doctor said and the decision that she had made, causing a brief gasp from oliver. Sara continued to lean into Oliver, explaining the hardest thing she had ever done, it was then that she became even more shocked by her brothers best friend

"is it"

"Is it what Oliver"Sara exclaimed hurt beginning to surface in her voice

"The hardest thing?"

"How can you even ask me that Ollie?"

"Look I know it's hard, that's not what I meant but, can you imagine how Andy must feel as well, she loves him, and I know you know that he does as well"

Sara took a step further back, and looked at him her eyes glazing over in unshed tears,

"do you have any idea what she did to him, she left him, not once but twice, she broke his heart, almost got him killed, and then….."

"Then what sara"Oliver asked gently

"He…said he couldn't live without her, he wouldn't….she broke him Ollie, he's here because of her, and she made him do this"

They both made a sudden turn, to hear a noise coming from Sam's' room, it was a low, soft sob, it almost seemed to convey a hidden loss, and sadness, they peered into Sam's room their words still lingering to see Andy, sitting their clutching Sam's hand, her head down in the crook of his neck, silently sobbing.

AN:please review, comments are always helpful with the creative process, also pms welcome with suggestions and ideas

thanks PP