SONG LIST FOR THIS CHAPTER…
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Whatever Doesn't Kill Me - Finger Eleven
Victim - Man Made Machine
All I Want - A Day To Remember
Your Touch - Black Keys
Go With The Flow - Queens Of The Stone Age
Make It Stop - Rise Against
Don't Wanna Fight - Alabama Shakes
Bad Habit - Kooks
The Beginning Of The End - Nine Inch Nails
Sick And Twisted Affair - My Darkest Days
War Of Change - Thousand Foot Krutch
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve (( THIS SONG NEVER GETS OLD TO ME))
With my skillful driving Clary and I managed to make it to the airport in plenty of time to check our bags and board our plan. Alec will come and pick up my car from the parking lot later on today; he was going to get up and drive us but I told him that there was no need to. Our return flight will be later in the afternoon and we will just take a cab home from the airport.
We are now sitting side by side in the uncomfortable seat of our second class flight to LA; I wonder if the first class seats are this uncomfortable? Getting Clary out of bed at four thirty this morning was quite the task; she groaned loudly and threw a pillow at me. I decided to just pack my own bag and let her sleep for an extra half an hour but at five when I woke her up for the second time she flew out of bed in a panic; rambling incoherently about missing our flight. She is leaning against me with her eyes closed with the intentions of sleeping for the entire flight; I on the other hand am wide awake. I decide to send a couple of text out before we have to turn off our phones for take-off.
ME: 217-0226- Good morning! We are on the plane; see you in about 6 hours. : -}
Em: 539-7010- IT'S 2:45 IN THE MORNING JACE! Did you forget about the time difference? Don't worry I will be at the airport to pick you up.
ME: 217-0226- You told me to text you when we boarded the plane… : -|
Em: 539-7010-I know but…anyhow how is prego this morning?
ME: 217-0226- Slightly grumpy when I woke her up for the second time; pretending to sleep on my shoulder. Adorable as ever. *SWOON*
Em: 539-7010- Maybe if you kept your perverted hands off the poor girl once in a while she wouldn't be so tired….*GAGGING*
ME: 217-0226- *GIGGLING* gotta go, see you soon. Love ya.
Em: 539-7010- Nice to see you don't even bother trying to deny your perverted-ness. Love you.
The flight attended makes the announcement that we have ten minutes before take-off and I decide to send another text before shutting my phone off for the next six hours.
ME: 217-0226- U awake?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 - What do you want? Why are you up so early?
ME: 217-0226- Clary and I are flying to LA for the next 10 days; just thought you should know.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- Yeah I know…Clary text me last night; didn't realize you were flying out so early. Have a good time; don't let her drown in the ocean.
ME: 217-0226- That will never happen! THIS FACE: : -| but much angrier…need to remember to get a better emoji app…something with smoke rising from the ears would be useful right about now.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- I know…was only kidding…CHECK - OUT : -[ ….FANGS!
ME: 217-0226- WOW! How's your love life?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- Fuck you Angel Boy!
ME: 217-0226- : -(
ME: 217-0226- I wasn't being cruel Simon; just wondering how things with Iz were. Sorry for pissing you off…put your fangs away…what happened to our truce about no name calling? You wound me with your words…*thinking about telling my hormonal girlfriend that you are being hurtful*… Where is the love?
I shut my phone off after I hit send because the flight attended scolded me for ignoring the final warning to turn off all electronics until after take-off. She said I could use my phone in airplane mode after we are in the air but I decide to just leave it off; let Simon sweat over my threat of tattle-telling on him to Clary. My sweet girl has been extremely protective over me lately (Must be her mommy instinct kicking in); a couple of weeks ago when we were having coffee with Simon he called me a goon and Clary kicked him in the shin and told him to stop calling the father of her child names. She's so damn cute when she is angry; and downright adorable when she is raging mad. Simon and I both got kicked and scowled at for laughing at her.
Thankfully Clary was already sleeping when the plane took off; the strange feeling was enough to make my stomach queasy and had she been awake I am certain she would have needed one of the air sickness bags. After being in the air for only ten minutes; it take everything in me not to wake her up so I will have someone to talk to but I let her sleep because she needs her rest. Pulling my IPod out; I spend the next two hours listing to music and the rest of the flight sleeping with my chin on Clary's red hair as she drools on my shirt and snores quietly. Em is at the baggage claim bouncing with excitement when we get through the security. I hold my arms out to her for a hug but she slaps my hand away so she can scoop Clary up for a hug.
"Easy Em; you'll hurt her swinging her around like that." My voice is high pitched and slightly too loud for a public place.
"Oh, stop being so paranoid Jace; I'm sure you toss her around much more than that in the bedroom."
"Emma!" Clary and I scold in unison; Em just laughs as she places her hands on Clary's belly.
"Wow Clary! This is wild seeing your belly like this. I mean I knew you were pregnant but actually seeing this round thing sticking out of you makes it so real."
"It really does stick out doesn't it? I feel like such a cow already; I don't know how I will feel when I am ready to pop; like and elephant I'm sure."
"You're hips are wider than I remember them."
"Tell me about it; just recently I had to give in and get some new pants because of my huge butt."
"Your belly and your butt isn't the only thing that has gotten bigger; you're tits are amazing Clary."
"Christ Em; please don't say shit like that." I scold but Clary just laughs. My mouth drops open when Clary grabs Em's hand and places them on her chest.
"Feel how hard they are too Em; it's crazy right?"
"By the Angel girl; those things are so perky that you could get away without wearing a bra."
Fuck me! I can feel my shaft getting hard just watching and listening to Em and Clary; I can't help the mental image that forms in my head at the thought of them touching each other's naked bodies.
"Stop that right now both of you! What are you two trying to do to me?"
Emma turns to look at me with a wicked grin on her face.
"What's the matter Jace? Are you getting turned on by the sight of another female touching your girl?"
"Yes and quite frankly I am extremely disturbed by that fact."
"Your birthday is coming up Jace and I really wasn't sure what to get you but maybe Em and I can find a way to make your birthday extra special." Clary now has a wicked grin of her own as she strokes Ems arm with her tiny hand.
I am appalled by these females right now and disturbingly intrigued by their suggestion. I can't even speak to them right now so I just grab our bags and head for the exit. The loud giggles that come from them as they follow me out of the airport tells me that the next ten days with the two of them will be interesting; that's for certain. I know they are just fucking with me but for Christ sakes I am still only a teenager; the pervert in me can't help but get filthy mental pictures in my head about the two of them. I find my perverted thoughts to be unsettling because first of all (and most importantly I might add) I would never want anyone else to touch my sweet Clary; she belongs to me and no one else will dare lay a finger on her (or in her for that matter). Secondly Em is like a sister to me (yes she is smoking hot) but it still makes me ill thinking about her in any kind of sexual way; I would feel the same way about Izzy.
I remember when Em confessed to me that she was into chicks instead of dudes; at the time I had only know her for about a month and we were only fifteen at the time. I was disappointed at first by her confession because I won't lie about my sexual attraction towards her when I first met the girl (come on of course I was attracted to her; she was tall, tan, blond and her eyes are crystal blue) but after she told me I got over my attraction towards her immediately. Emma and I developed a very odd relationship after she told me she was gay; her and I have had many conversations about girls. Hell I contribute my amazing oral skills to Emma's detailed description about pleasuring another girl with her mouth. The two of us have exchanges countless tips on how to pleasure the females. When I was sixteen my curiosity about seeing two girls together in bed finally got to be too much for me; I ended up finding two girls at the club one night and living out my fantasy with them (I was not disappointed in the least.) That must be why I am disturbingly aroused right now at the thought of Emma and Clary together; I am simply associating the two of them with my real life experience.
"Where are you going Jace? Are you planning on walking the whole way to my apartment from here?"
I turn around to see Emma and Clary standing side by side with their hands on their hips.
"Oh…um…is your apartment far from here?"
"Well I don't have the miles calculated exactly but it's almost a twenty minute drive from here."
"Oh that's pretty far; guess we should try to get a cab then."
"We don't need a cab Jace; we can take my truck."
"Truck? You have a truck Emma?"
"How else do you think I can haul my board up and down the coast all the time? South beach is close to home so I just walk there but I like to surf around at the different beaches."
"This is your truck Em?"
I point to the black Dodge Ram that the girls are standing by. The truck has four doors and lots of chrome and looks to be fairly new. It's a nice truck and looking at it I can actually picture Em driving around in it with one of her many bikini's on as she hunts for the best waves on the beach to surf.
"Yeah I have only had it for a couple of months; I got it after my old beater van finally died on me. Don't get me wrong; I really like my new truck but it gets horrible gas mileage and I still miss the funky smell of my van."
"Yeah and you can't sleep off a drunk in this thing as well as you could in the van either."
"See; you get it Jace. Sleeping in the bed of this thing has gotten me rained on and fried to a crisp on too many occasions in the short amount of time I have had it."
"Can I drive it?" Clary asks shyly and Em and I take turns exchanges glances before Em hands Clary the keys. Clary squeals loudly and jumps up and down with excitement; fuck the pervert in me can't help but focus my eyes on her bouncing chest.
"Don't jump like that Clary; you will give my daughter brain damage."
Clary just rolls her eyes at me as she bolts to the other side of the truck; she shouts for me to come around and help her get in. The six inch lift kit that Em had installed on her truck makes it too high for my pregnant girlfriend to get behind the wheel; carefully I lift her up and put her in the truck.
"Thank you Jace."
"Shouldn't there be a rule about not being allowed to drive if you need help even getting behind the steering wheel?" I joke playfully as I shut her door.
Clary is laying across the double bed in the guest room of Em and Sandra's apartment as I unpack our bags. Clary finds my need to be organized and neat about our clothing to be silly; if it were up to her she would live out of her suitcase for the next ten days but I just can't bring myself to doing that.
"Leave that for later Jace."
"What's wrong with right now; Em said lunch wouldn't be ready for almost an hour and she wants to take us to the beach after; so if I don't unpack now I probably won't get to it until tomorrow."
"So who care about unpacking? Come here." She purrs.
I raise my eyebrows at her suggestion but I go lock the door and walk back to the edge of the bed before taking my shirt off. I crawl on top of her and nibble her ear as she giggles with delight.
"Shh…you do realize that we are only about fifteen feet from the kitchen Clary."
She only giggles louder as she unhooks my belt and opens my jeans before sliding her hands inside my boxers. I can't help the yelp that escapes my mouth when she forcefully takes my length in her hand.
"Fuck Clary! Eager much?"
"I can't help it; I want you." Her tone sounds embarrassed.
"Why are you embarrassed by that baby?"
"You make me feel like I'm moving too fast."
"Oh no baby; you're not moving too fast. What you have your fingers curled around right now should tell you just how much I want you right now."
"I can feel you; how does this feel?" She begins to stroke me slowly through my boxers and I groan at the sensation.
"I love the way you touch me Clary." I purr.
"How do you want me to touch you Jace?" Fuck she sounds so sexy right now.
"What you are doing right now feels pretty damn good actually."
"You feel good in my hand but I think my lips might be getting a little eager to taste you."
Oh my fucking god! She uses her tongue to pull her bottom lip into her mouth before she slowly drags her teeth across her moist flesh as she continues to stroke me. Seeing her do that, seeing the look in her green eyes and feeling her hand wrapped around me is enough to make me almost cum in my boxers.
"Christ I love you Clary."
I'm lying on my back still trying to gain control of my breathing as I watch Clary change into a white sun dress that clings deliciously to her swollen belly. I continue to watch her as she pulls her long curls over her shoulder and begins to braid her hair as she smiles sweetly at me.
"Sorry baby." I manage a raged apology.
"Sorry for what?"
"I didn't think I was going to cum that fast."
"Don't be sorry; at least I know I'm not terrible at it."
"Terrible? You have got to be kidding me right? You have no idea just how not terrible you are at that baby."
"That's good to know; maybe I will do that more often now that I know just how much you enjoy it."
"Come here and let me thank you." I purr.
"I just did my hair Jace; I don't want to have sex hair when we go out there for lunch."
"If you sit on my face your hair will still look perfect."
She slaps my bare stomach with her tiny hand and it makes a loud smack in the small bedroom; I didn't even see the blow coming and I groan loudly as I roll to my side while holding my welted stomach.
"Jace Wayland! The mouth on you!"
"Who are you trying to fool Clary? You love my filthy mouth; especially my skilled tongue." My words come out broken in a fit of laughter; and I only laugh harder when she swats my butt as she climbs on top of me and begins to tickle my ribs. A knock at the door stills her tickling fingers but she is still laughing when she gets up and opens the door; Em's eyebrows are raised in question when she see the two of us laughing.
"Am I interrupting something?"
"No, not at all." I tell her as I sit up on the bed.
"Are you sure because Clary's cheeks are bright red and your pants are wide open; not to mention it seems you have lost your shirt."
Clary makes a small squeaking noise and bolts from the bedroom as I quickly do up my jeans and fasten my belt before grabbing my t-shirt off the floor and sliding it on.
"Sorry about that Emma."
"You don't have to be sorry Jace; I think it's sweet that you two are still hot for each other even though Clary has a big old pregnant belly."
"I think her belly is sexy."
"Seriously?"
"You have no idea Em. I can't keep my hands off of her; come to think of it I never could keep my hands off of her. I promise we will try to behave ourselves for the next ten days."
"Nah, you don't have to behave yourselves but please keep in mind that my bedroom wall is on the other side of that headboard. Sandy needs her rest so maybe you could keep your late nights not too late. Other than that; feel free to fuck like rabbits while you're here."
"As long as Clary stay's in the mood she's in most likely we will. I guess you could say we have some lost time to make up for."
"Lost time? What do you mean?"
"Let's just say we had a bit of a dry spell for the past three weeks."
"Oh…sorry…you two are okay now though right?"
"Of course; we are great."
"Then why the dry spell?"
"She was having a lot of pain in her hips and she wasn't sleeping well."
"Her hips were hurting? Why did she hurt herself?"
"Emma how can you; on one hand know so much about the female body; yet so little at the same time? Hip pain is normal during pregnancy; her hips are spreading to get ready for the birth you dumb ass."
"I might be a female but I am not a breeder Jace. Can we stop talking about hips being spread and go eat some lunch? If we hurry up we can still catch some good waves before the tide goes out."
We are all sitting at the table eating Em's famous fish tacos when I remember that Clary still needs to get a swim suit. One look at Em and I know that nothing that fits her tall muscular frame will fit Clary. Em is only two inches shorter than I am; her bathing suits would fit me more than they would fit little tiny Clary. I steal a glance at Sandra and decide that maybe she would have something that might fit Clary. Sandra is only about two inches taller than Clary and is of medium build; her waist, hips and shoulders; hell even her thighs are larger that Clary's tiny body but since Clary is pregnant maybe Sandra's clothes would fit her.
"Sandra? Do you have an extra swim suit that Clary could borrow until we get to the store?"
"Me wear a swim suit? Jace I wear shorts and a tank top; I don't do bikinis; those are Ems swimming attire."
"I might have something for you Clary; come back to my bedroom and we will see if one of my old suits fits you. If not we can just swing by one of the shops on our way to the beach."
Clary gives me an unsure look as Em drags her down the hall to the bedroom; Sandra keeps her brown eyes on her plate as the kitchen grows quite in Clary and Ems absence.
"How are your ribs today Sandra?"
"Sore but I'm not complaining."
"That's good to hear." My voice sounds just as uncomfortable as I feel right now.
"If you have something to say to me Jace just get it over with. I know Em told you I have cancer."
Fuck! Sandra just blurts it out as though it's the most normal thing in the world. I don't know why I'm so surprised; Sandra's bluntness is one of the things I enjoy most about her character.
"I don't really have anything to say about it Sandra. I mean I'm sorry you're sick and I am devastated for Emma but I support your decision."
Sandra takes a moment to look at me as though she is trying to decide whether or not to believe what I said.
"Well…thanks I guess." She mumbles.
"Emma really loves you." I blurt out like an idiot.
"I know she does and I love her too but love won't keep me from dying Jace. I am so glad the two of you are on good terms again because she is really going to need you to be her friend after I'm gone."
"I'm always going to be here for Em."
"Will you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Clary? The baby? Getting married? Where does Em fit into all of that?"
"I will make time for Emma."
"Sure you say that now Jace but things change when people have kids and…"
"What the fuck do you expect from me Sandra? Should I just throw away everything good in my life for Emma?"
"What's going on out here?" Clary's voice makes me jump; I thought her and Emma were still down the hallway. I turn to see the two of them with confused looks on their faces.
"Nothing." Sandra says as she gets up from her seat at the table.
"Sandy what were you and Jace talking about?" Em asks.
"Nothing to be concerned about." I say as I follow Sandra out of the house.
The ten minute drive to the beach is quite and the tension of unspoken words fill the inside of the truck heavily. Once Emma finds a parking spot the four of us make our way towards the sandy beach; I carry two surf boards under each arm and trail behind the girls as they run off ahead of me. This should be an interesting day. Sandra is pissed at me and Em and Clary keep looking at me with suspicion in their eyes; I always wanted Clary and Em to get along well but right now I almost feel like they are plotting against me somehow with how close they are staying together. I watch as Clary peels off her white sundress to reveal a simple black bikini; her round belly sticks out beautifully and her pale skin looks almost white as snow in contrast of her black swimsuit. Clary takes the time to apply sunscreen to her body and Emma helps her with the spots she can't reach. Watching the two of them I am torn between two emotions. On one hand I am extremely disappointed that Clary doesn't ask me to help her with her sunscreen; on the other hand I am once again disturbingly turned on by the sight of Emma touching Clary. I avert my eyes away from them and focus on kicking the sand around with my feet. I don't even get the chance to talk to Clary before Em drags her out into the water to teach her how to get up on the surfboard to float across the small waves near the shore; Em wanted to teach Clary how to stand up on the board but I threw a fit; claiming that the baby could be harmed if she fell by accident.
Sandra makes her way down the beach a little further to sit by herself with a book to keep her busy while the rest of us splash around in the ocean. Every time I make my way towards Clary and Em they both give me dirty looks and move away from me in the water; I decide to get on my board and paddle out farther into the ocean with the hopes of catching the last of the good waves before the tide goes out for the evening. I manage to ride three good waves before the surf pulls too far away from the shore and settles for the night and now I am lying on my back as I float in the water on my surfboard.
"I think we should probably get ready to go back to the apartment since Sandy seems to have fallen asleep over there." Em says just before she flips my board and I end up swallowing a big gulp of salt water. We make our way out of the water and I begin to gather the three boards awkwardly and carry them towards the truck as Em and Clary make their way over to wake up Sandra. After I shut the tailgate to Emma's truck I turn around to see Em and Clary attempting to carry Sandra towards the truck and I quickly run over to help.
"Here give her to me and I will carry her to the truck; Clary you shouldn't be straining like that."
I lift Sandra into my arms and begin to carry her towards the truck as she mumble about me being an asshole and that she doesn't need to be carried; even though she said she didn't need to be carried she makes no attempt to struggle free from my arms and she even gives me a small smile when I put her in the backseat of the truck.
"Clary do you want to drive back? I think I will sit in the back with Sandy."
"I don't know; I'm kind of tired but maybe Jace would be willing to drive."
I take the keys from Em without speaking and our ten minute drive back to the apartment is just as quiet as the ride to the beach was hours ago. After I carry Sandra to her and Ems bedroom so that she can sleep a little longer I return to the living room to find Em half asleep on the couch and decide to go and find Clary. I hear the shower running in the bathroom that is next to the bedroom that Clary and I are staying in and realize that she must be washing the sand off her body; I am disappointed to find the door locked and decide to go to the kitchen to seek out some food.
An hour later I have managed to make a pretty decent batch of stir fry for everyone and go in the living room to wake up Em; she kicked me in the shin and told me to fuck off. I don't bother going to wake up Sandra; I figure she needs her rest and she hits harder than Emma does anyhow. Opening the door to the guest bedroom I find Clary lying on her back with both of her hands on her round belly and to my surprise she smiles at me when I walk towards her.
"Are you hungry? I made stir fry."
"Yes I am hungry actually."
She places her hand in mine and I lead her to the kitchen where I bring her a plate of stir fry and sit down across from her with my own plate. We are both about halfway through our plate of food when Sandra stumbles into the kitchen with a small grin on her face.
"Who cooked this?" She asks as she plucks a piece of broccoli out of the pan and pops it into her mouth.
"I did; please have some; I made enough for everybody."
"You sure?"
"Absolutely. I was going to wake you up but Em kicked me when I woke her up so I figured you would punch me in the sack for waking you up."
"Emma kicked you?" Clary asks in disbelief.
"And told me to fuck off; that's just the kind of friendship we have Clary so don't look so worried."
"Yeah well any other day I probably would have punched you in the sack for waking me up but not today Jace."
"Really? What make today so special?"
"You were nice to me; you carried me to the truck and you even tucked me in when you put me to bed."
"Sandra; I am nice all the time you know; you just never give me a chance because you are too cold all the time."
"Cold? Not me; you are just too sensitive." She jokes as she begins to shovel food into her mouth.
I finish putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and put the left over dinner in the fridge for Emma to eat when she gets up from her nap. I hand Clary and Sandra each a cup of hot tea and kiss Clary behind her ear and am rewarded when she shivers.
"I'm going to get a shower baby. Do you need anything before I go?" I purr suggestively into her ear; hoping she might just come and join me in the shower. She just waves me off; she must be egger to get Sandra all to herself for a while; she must want to see if she can find out what the two of us were talking about before we went to the beach.
When I get out of the shower I find Clary sitting on the edge of our bed with tear filled eyes. I kneel on the floor in front of her before placing my hands on her knees.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Why didn't you tell me that she was sick Jace?"
"It wasn't my business to repeat."
"But…you should have told me anyhow. Do you have any idea how stupid I feel now?"
"Why do you feel stupid?"
"Because I just got done telling Sandra that she was acting crazy; I told her that you and Emma do love each other but not like you and I love each other."
"I'm not sure I follow here Clary."
"When Em and I walked into the kitchen earlier today; I thought Sandra was accusing you of being in love with Emma. Apparently I heard the wrong part of that conversation; she told me that she was dying and that all she meant was that she hopes you won't forget about Emma after the baby comes and everything. Jace I feel like such an idiot; that's what I get for eves dropping."
I get off the floor and sit beside Clary on the bed before pulling her to my side as I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek.
"I wouldn't worry too much about it Clary; Sandra seams a little cold most of the time but she actually has a really good sense of humor so I'm sure this will all be a joke by tomorrow morning."
Clary looks at me with panic in her eyes as she grips my face in her small hands.
"Jace! You have to take care of Emma after Sandra's gone. You just have to."
"You and our baby are my first priority Clary but I will do my best to take care of Emma any way I can; you know that."
"She was your friend long before I came along." She says sadly.
"Stop that! Clary I love you. You and our daughter are my entire world. I love Emma and I always will but my family comes first. You and the baby are my family; end of story."
"Will you promise to do your best to make time for Emma after the baby comes?"
"I promise; now let's go see if the girls want to watch a movie or something."
By the end of the second movie I look around the living room to find three sleeping girls. With a loud sigh I lift Clary into my arms and put her to bed before returning to the living room to do the same for Sandra and Em. Sandra calls me a dick as I cover her up and I just laugh softly before going to get Emma. I lift Emma into my arms and her blond hair smells like saltwater and her tan arms are warm as they wrap tightly around my neck.
"Please don't forget me Jace." She whispers softly against my neck.
"I love you Em; I could never forget you." I whisper back before kissing her cheek as I lay her down next to Sandra and cover her with the blanket. I sit on the edge of the bed and stroke her blond hair for what feels like hours; it's hard to believe that this is the girl that I lusted after only a few years ago. Looking at her now and having such a deep friendship for her makes me almost laugh at the memory.
"I still can't believe you two have to go home already; it seems like you just got here and it's hard to believe that you have been here for ten days." Emma's voice shakes as Clary and I stand at the boarding gate of the airport.
"Don't you start crying Emma; you will make me cry." Clary whimpers as she hugs Emma tightly. I smile as I watch Sandra rub Clary's belly for a moment and quickly look away when I see tears in her brown eyes.
"I just hope I am still around to meet this little one." Sandra chokes on her words while her hands remain on Clary's belly. Fuck now all three of them are sobbing loudly and they are having a group hug right here in the middle of the damn airport; the sight of the three of them holding each other and crying hysterically makes an uncomfortable lump form in my throat. I busy myself with the carry-on luggage to keep from crying like an idiot right along with them.
I manage to say my goodbyes to Em and Sandra without shedding any tears and I am holding Clary's hand as she sits next to me on the plane. Clary won't stop crying and I am lost for idea's as to how to get her tears to stop; within an hour she ends up crying herself to sleep. I wake Clary up when the flight attendant announces that we will be landing; we gather our luggage from the conveyer belt and now we are sitting in the back of the cab that will take us back to the institute. Clary has my IPod and she has her eyes closed as she listens to music; I decide to send a few texts on our ride home.
Me: 217-0226 – Made it back on solid ground. Thanks again for having us. Miss you already. : -(
Em: 539-7010- You have no idea how nice it was 2 spend 10 days with u & Clary. I will check my schedule & see if I can make a trip 2 the big apple soon. Miss u 2. Love ya.
Me: 217-0226 – Love you.
Me: 217-0226- Just left the airport. I will see if maybe mamma wants to get together with you tomorrow.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- How was your trip? Mamma?
Me: 217-0226- LA was great. Sucks we had to come home already but mamma(Clary) has a doctors apt tomorrow.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – Must be nice to lay around on the beach for 10 days. Does our moody little red head know that you are calling her mamma?
Me: 217-0226 – You could have come. No one says you can't portal so stop with the guilt trip. I haven't called MY moody little red head mamma yet…it just came out when I started to text you…come to think of it…don't tell her I was calling her that…I'd like to keep my balls attached to my body.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- Wasn't guilt tripping you…was just saying that's all…geez lighten up DADDY! Hmmm don't tell Clary? Sounds like possible black mail material to me…what do I get for not telling her huh huh?
Me: 217-0226 – I'll tell you what Simon…DADDY will let you keep YOUR balls attached.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – HAHA…I'm shaking right now Jace.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- Not even close to shaking…in case you misread my sarcasm in the previous text.
Me: 217-0226 – Blah Blah Blah.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – How is Clary by the way? I didn't hear from her the whole time u 2 were gone. (NO GUILT TRIP…Just saying)
Me: 217-0226 – She had a blast in LA…Em and her were inseparable and Sandra was their ring leader the whole time. I know how jealous u r that I was in an apt with 3 hot babes but let me tell you…not EVEN as exciting as you would want it to be.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – LOL…I take it the lesbians were major cock blockers then?
Me: 217-0226 – WOW!
Me: 217-0226 – I am so telling YOUR moody little red head you said that…tell your balls I said R.I.P.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – shit… : -(
Me: 217-0226- Tell you what Simon…I can either tell her what you said OOOORRRR…I can give you DETAILS (GRAPHIC GRAPHIC) details about why I may or may not have a chaffing problem after 10 days in LA.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – DEAR GOD (at least I can text that word) NO! NO DETAILS PLEASE…R.I.P. balls I will miss them so much.
Me: 217-0226 – Sick fucker…the chaffing is from the sand you idiot…I would never disrespect Clary like that. Tell your balls that they can come out of their hiding spot…Iz might miss them more than you and frankly she scares me.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – um…thanks…for the clarification about the chaffing…and for respecting Clary (NOT TRYING TO BE MUSHY BUT I KNOW U WOULDN'T TELL ME THAT SHIT ANYHOW)
Me: 217-0226 - ? What? You mean to tell me you have nothing to say about my confession about being scared of Izzy? R U feeling OK? Do you need BLOOD?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437- I'd rather not talk about your sister.
Me: 217-0226- Why?
Simon doesn't text me back so I decide to call Alec to let him know we will be home in a few minutes.
"Hey Jace; how the hell are you?"
"I'm doing well Alec. Are you home?"
"Um…no…I'm actually at Magnus's. Why?"
"Clary and I will be home in about five minutes. Where is our lovely sister?"
"Shit…sorry Jace I must have lost track of time. I will see you at home in about fifteen minutes."
"There is no need to rush. Where is Izzy?"
"What the hell are you talking about Jace; I haven't seen you and Clary for 10 days; of course I will rush home. In fact I am walking towards the institute as we speak. Maybe we could all go grab some dinner since there isn't much food in the house anyhow. Honestly I think if it weren't for you going to the grocery store the rest of us would starve."
"I'm up for going to get some dinner but I want everyone there; so for the third time where is our sister at Alec?"
"I'm not exactly sure but I will get her rounded up and we can decide where to eat once we are all at the institute. Should I invite Magnus or no?"
"I said I wanted everyone there so yes invite him. Look we are pulling up to the institute now so I will see you when you get home okay."
"Yep, see you in ten minutes. Bye Jace."
"Bye."
I shove my phone in my pocket and take Clary's hand in mine as we exit the cab and after gathering our luggage we make our way up to our bedroom where Clary flops on the bed and buries her face into the pillows. I drop our bags on the floor and lay on the bed beside her; I run my hand over the small of her back as I begin to speak to her.
"You okay baby?"
"No." She mumbles into the pillow.
"Talk to me Clary; tell me what's wrong."
She rolls over and her bright green eyes stare at me in disbelief. Christ why is she looking at me like that? Did I do something? Did I miss something?
"I can't stop thinking about what she said to me."
"Who? Said what?"
"Sandy. She said she hopes she will be around to meet our baby."
Clary runs her hands over her belly as she frowns with glassy eyes; new tears are threatening to spill over her eyelashes. Fuck! She has cried too much today; all that crying can't be good for the baby. Who am I kidding? All that crying isn't good for me. I know why she is hurting and the fact that there isn't anything I can do to make her pain go away makes me feel helpless. I wish I could tell her that Sandra will be here to meet our daughter when she is born but I fear that I will be telling her a lie that I can't take back. Emma said that Sandra only had roughly six months to live and with Clary's due date only a little over four months away the odds aren't in Sandra's favor. Even if Sandra were still alive in four months the odds of her being well enough to travel to New York to visit will be slim to none. Shadow hunters heal fast but Clary will still need a couple of weeks of rest so it's not like we will be able to go to LA right away either.
At a loss for any kind of soothing words; I just wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly as she begins to cry loudly against my chest. I plant small kisses on her temple as I whisper empty promises of things being alright for Sandra. Clary's crying tapers off as she slide her hand under my shirt; at first I think she just wants the comfort of feeling my skin but she shoves my shoulder to roll me onto my back as she climbs on my hips. Her tiny fingers are knotted in my t-shirt as she pulls it off of me and the look in her eyes tells me she is looking for a way different kind of comfort than just the feel of my skin under her palms. She doesn't wait for me to remove her shirt; she pulls her tank top off and quickly removes her bra before she takes off her shorts and underwear. Her small hands quickly remove my shorts and boxers and she wraps her fingers around my shaft long enough to guide me to her center. Her movements are so fast that she cries out in pain as she lowers herself onto me.
"Easy baby." I breathe.
She closes her eyes and begins to grind her hips at an alarming speed and within a few minutes her moans sound like painful cries instead of pleasure. Her body isn't ready for me and her center is painfully tight as she grinds herself against me. I try to grip her hips to slow her down but she just swats my hands away from her body. The look on her face and the sounds that are coming out of her mouth cause me to feel overwhelmed; I clamp my hands over my ears and close my eyes as she somehow grinds her hips faster and faster on top of me. I realize it would be pointless to tell her to stop; I get the feeling that she wouldn't hear me anyhow. I wish my fucking body would do what my brain wants it to. I wish my erection would go away right now; if I went soft right now that would stop her wild movements but my body defies me as I feel my climax coming on fast.
"GO AWAY! WE ARE BUSY IN HERE!" Clary's shouts make me uncover my ears and open my eyes. Alec must have been knocking at our bedroom door. I can feel embarrassment coloring my cheeks and a surprising amount of anger begins to fill my chest because my body continues to defy me. With a few more thrust of her hips I spill into her and feel my shaft begin to soften inside of her but she continues to grind her hips against mine. When I soften completely she rolls off of me and lets out a loud breath as she flops onto the mattress beside me; her green eyes stare at the ceiling in frustration.
After all her wild movements on my body she never even got to reach her climax and now she is angry; I on the other hand am completely lost for words and even slightly disturbed by her…what word am I looking for here?...assault?...attack? I am so fucking confused right now. I just lay beside her and stare at the ceiling with her as both of our breathing begins to return to normal again.
"Someone was knocking at your bedroom door. I'm assuming it was Alec so you should probably go see what he wanted; tell him I'm sorry for shouting at him." Clary's voice is clear and shockingly unaffected by what just happened only a few short minutes ago and I once again am at a loss for words as I roll off the bed to find my clothes. I glance at her as she uses her tank top to wipe her legs off before she walks to the dresser to find new clothes. Who the fuck is she right now? Where is my sweet little red head? Seeing her round belly where my unborn daughter is warm and safe only confuses me further when I look at her angry face. I just remembered that I told Alec that we would go to dinner; shit I am almost afraid to even mention it to this angry little red head right now.
"Um…baby…I kind of told Alec that we would all get together for dinner but…"
"That's sounds great; I'm starving and I would really like to see everyone. Should I text Simon or is he already coming?"
There is that unaffected tone again. Christ! What am I going to do with her? Maybe I am just being too sensitive about all of this. Maybe I should just shake off my uneasy feeling and try to forget what just happened.
"I didn't get the chance to ask him actually so yeah go ahead and text him. I am going to find Alec so I will meet you downstairs in a little bit."
She nods her head as she pulls a t-shirt over her head before she walks into our bathroom and closes the door. I find Alec in his room; his thumbs text rapidly on his phone and I have to clear my throat so he knows I am even standing at his doorway. His blue eyes narrow as his eyebrows tighten.
"What was going on in there Jace?"
"I'm sure you have an imagination Alec; it shouldn't be that hard to figure out what we were doing." I attempt to say casually.
"I'm not stupid Jace it's just Clary…she sounded so…uh…were you hurting her? She sounded like she was in pain."
"Look Alec I'm pretty damn embarrassed about all of this and I really don't want to tell you about Clary and I's private moment but just so you know I wasn't exactly the one in control of that particular situation."
"You embarrassed? Since when? Hell Jace I have walked in on you having sex in a public bathroom and all you ever did was grin at me and told me to wait my turn. And what do you mean you weren't in control?"
"Fucking some random girl in a bathroom is different from what Clary and I have. I guess the reason why I'm embarrassed is because of the question you asked me."
"Huh?"
"You asked me if I was hurting her; I know what she must have sounded like to you and I can see how you would blame me for that but I promise you that was all her doing not mine."
"Shit; who would have guessed that Clary was a kinky little thing." He chuckles.
"Shut up Alec! She's not; don't say that. She…what she did…that was the first time anything like that happened and I'm still trying to process it to be honest with you."
"Process it? What exactly did she do?"
"Fuck Alec! I really don't feel comfortable talking about this."
"The look on your face tells me that you are kind of freaking out over this Jace but are you freaking out because you don't want to talk about it or are you freaking out because of what she did?"
"Both I guess…I don't know what to think Alec. One minute she was crying against my chest and the next minute she is ripping our clothes off and…she…god she was going so fast…I tried to stop her when I heard the sounds of pain coming out of her mouth but she just slapped my hands and went faster…I felt…powerless I guess."
"Jace you are twice her size; why didn't you just tell her to stop or maybe even push her off of you?"
"I don't think she would have heard me if I asked her to stop. As far as me pushing her off of me…I don't know why I didn't…maybe I was afraid of what she would do if I tried to stop her considering she slapped me when I just tried to get her to even slow down. I don't know…I guess that's not even the worst part really."
"What do you mean?"
"After it was over she just acted like it was no big deal; like what she did wasn't kind of on the crazy side. Am I being paranoid here Alec or should I be concerned for her because of this?"
"You're always paranoid Jace but let me ask you something. What was she crying about before she…um…well did what she did?"
"Sandra said something that upset her before we left LA."
"What did she say?"
"Sandra was rubbing Clary's belly and she told her that she really hoped that she would still be around to meet the baby when she is born."
"Shit…poor Clary. I mean poor Sandra but poor Clary too."
"I don't know what to do Alec."
"There really isn't anything you can do Jace; just be there for her I guess."
"I am; of course I am here for her but holy fuck Alec…I don't think I can go through something like that again…the look on her face…it was like she was a different person almost…I had to shut my eyes and cover my ears…no…no I can't let something like that happen again…call me crazy but I almost feel…violated sort of and that is just…disturbing really."
"You really feel that way; violated I mean?"
"Yeah; I guess I do. I hate that I feel this way but the entire time I was wishing that my body would listen to my brain. I never in my life wanted to NOT have an erection like I did when she was on top of me; I kept trying to go soft but…well you're a dude so you can understand my dilemma right?"
"Wow; that is kind of disturbing then. Never in a million years would I have thought that a tiny thing like Clary; not to mention pregnant too; would do something like that. Do we dare mention the elephant in the room here Jace?"
"What elephant?"
"Um…you do realize that since you feel violated and that you wanted nothing more than for your…uh…erection to go away; well doesn't that mean that she sort of…shit…did you get raped?"
"No! Fuck no! Oh god Alec…I don't know what to think right now. Can we just go to dinner; Clary is probably waiting for us downstairs and she said she was starving."
"Yeah, Yeah; let's go eat. Izzy will probably already be at Taki's by now and Magnus should be there too even. Shit; you didn't invite Simon did you?"
"I didn't but Clary did. Why?"
"Personally I could care less but I get the feeling that something is going on between him and Izzy."
"Well they are big kids and Clary wants to have dinner with everyone so they will just have to get over whatever is going on between them for Clary's sake. I think Simon and Izzy can be cordial for an hour while we all eat dinner."
I close the door on the elevator and push the button to take us downstairs and I narrow my eyes at Alec as I fist my hand in his shirt.
"What the hell Jace?"
"Don't be fucking weird around Clary. I don't want her to know that I talked to you about us okay."
"It's cool Jace; I promise not to be weird around her."
I open the elevator and find Clary sitting on the long bench with a smile on her face as she sees Alec and I step into the hallway. She jumps up and almost skips across the wood floor so she can hug Alec.
"Oh Alec! I have missed you so much. How are you? How is Magnus? You look great." Her sweet voice reminds me of the girl I fell in love with as she speaks to my brother.
"I missed you too Clary. I'm good and so is Magnus. I think your belly got bigger in ten days girl and it looks like you got a little sun too." Alec smiles down at her and I am relieved at his cool tone; he is keeping to his word by not acting weird around Clary.
"I know; would you look at this thing! Another week or two and I think my feet will disappear." She jokes as she runs her hands over her round belly.
Alec rubs her belly and I chuckle when he bends down and kiss's my unborn daughter as he whispers that he missed her too. Clary walks over and slides her arm through mine as she smile up at me; I do my best to return her smile as we exit the institute. When we get to Taki's we find Izzy and Magnus waiting for us and of course fucking Kailea is at the table talking to Izzy; hearing the small growl that escapes Clary's mouth as she grips my arm tightly makes my pulse jump. This is not going to be a good dinner; I can feel it already. Clary is not acting like herself at all today and I get the feeling that Kailea just might be her next victim; it's fucked up but I can't help but smile at this thought.
Clary hugs Izzy and Magnus before she slides into the booth and I sit down next to her; keeping my body towards the edge of the booth in case I feel the need to bolt. Before Kailea can speak the bell on the front door chimes and in walks Simon with a huge grin on his face when he spots us. A second later the grin disappears when he sees Izzy turn around to watch him walk towards the table. Izzy looks at me with a grimace on her face but quickly changes it to a smile as she looks at Clary. I get up and let Simon sit beside Clary; the vampire can be my shield against my unstable red head today. Kailea smiles at me like she wants to fuck me right on the table and I shift my eyes away from her.
"Izzy told me you were in LA again. How was your trip? Hopefully you got to actually enjoy your visit this time instead of training the whole time. You must be so stressed Jace and you really deserve to just kick back and relax for a while."
"Eh-hem…Kailea could you stop flirting with the father of my child and just take our drink order already?" Clary's words are venomous and I fight the urge to laugh at my feisty girl; Simon makes it hard for me to keep a straight face by giggling at Clary's spiteful words.
"Relax Clary; I wasn't flirting with him. Jace is my friend and I have known him a lot longer than he has even been with you so just chill." Kailea spits back.
"You really are as stupid as you look aren't you. You are stupid if you think Jace is your friend; you are nothing to him Kailea. He fucked you and now he wants nothing to do with you so just keep your filthy eyes off of him and do you damn job." Her words are ice cold and cut sharply.
"I'm stupid? Sure okay maybe I am stupid and yes maybe I do flirt with him but there is a difference in me just wanting his company from time to time and what you did to him." Kailea's face is red now and her voice is too loud; people are starting to stare.
"What is that supposed to mean? What did I do to him?"
"You played him like a fiddle; you used your so-called innocence to make him feel bad for having sex with you and then you went and got yourself pregnant; you trapped him. You are a heartless little bitch Clary."
"Let me out!" Clary shrieks as she nudges Simon with her elbow; I keep my feet planted firmly on the floor as I use my shoulder to keep Simon in the seat beside me. I risk looking at Clary only to find her face beat red and her green eyes are about as menacing as I have ever seen them. I have got to find a way to diffuse this situation. The rest of my dinner party guest seem to have gone mute as they are mentally taking bets on this girl fight that is about to erupt.
I whisper for Simon to make sure Clary stays put and jump out of my seat; I grab Kailea not so gently by her elbow and drag her outside and shove her against the brick wall before I let her go.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Kailea? I don't want you. You are a shitty lay anyhow and that's not even the point. The point is that I love Clary. She didn't play me and she sure as hell didn't trap me so just keep your fucking mouth shut about her and I. You think you know everything but you don't know a fucking thing. I am so fucking tired of coming in here and feeling my skin crawl because of the way you look at me and because of the way you talk to me. Get over yourself already. Even if I wasn't with Clary I still wouldn't want you. Do you understand that Kailea? I will never want you; you are nothing to me."
"You told me once that I gave you the best blow job of your life."
"Fuck you Kailea."
"Yes exactly, fuck me! Jace what happened to you? You used to be so carefree and fun and you and I had some great times but you're different now. What makes some little red haired girl that's flat chested and looks like a fucking twelve year old so special? It's that it Jace? Do you have some sick fetish for little girls? I feel so bad for your daughter you are one sick…"
But she never got to finish that sentence because Clary came out of nowhere and punched her hard enough to knock her to the ground. Simon grabs Clary and drags her about ten feet backwards as she screams loudly.
"You fucking bitch! Simon let me go! I am going to kill you Kailea! I am going to cut your fucking tits off you piece of shit! God damn it Simon let me go now!"
I just stand there between my shrieking girlfriend (shit we are engaged now so I guess she is my fiancé) and Kailea; who is still lying on the ground with blood pouring out of her nose and my eyes go wide when I see her holding one of her front teeth in her hand. Magnus, Alec and Izzy are standing in the doorway of the restaurant with the look of shock on their faces as Clary continues to spit obscenities.
"Jace! For Christ sakes can I get a little help with her please?" Simon's voice is full of panic as Clary begins to kick her feet wildly. Just when I snap out of my daze Clary manages to wiggle out of Simons hands only to have me grab her as she attempts to go after Kailea. Clary shrieks so loud it hurts my ears as she begins to pound her fist against my chest.
"Let me go Jace! I promise I won't kill her just let me at her for two fucking minutes!"
I nod my head at Simon so he will get behind Clary in case she manages to get past me as I let go of her waist so I can cup her face in my hands.
"Baby stop please." I keep my voice soft.
"But she…" Her voice cracks as her green eyes widen when she see me tilt my head towards her; I press my lips lightly against hers to stop her from talking. She attempts to try to shove me away from her but her whole body is trembling and her shoves only feel like gentle nudges. I grip her face tighter so she will focus her eyes on mine.
"She is not worth it do you hear me Clary; she is not worth it." I whisper.
"I hate her! How are you so calm?"
"Listen to me baby; you are everything to me. You and our daughter are my life and I don't give two shits what kind of fucked up things that little whore has to say; that's why I am so calm. Right now I need you, I mean I really, really need you to calm down too because you are just too upset; please think about the baby Clary. Think about all the stress our beautiful daughter must be feeling right now."
"I'm…s-sorry…I-I…"
"Shh it's okay Clary; don't be sorry you don't have anything to be sorry for okay. Come on let's go home."
"I ruined dinner; we didn't even get to order anything."
"Don't you worry about that okay; Alec is going to go get a couple of pizzas and we can all eat at home."
"Not all of us; Simon can't eat with us. I mean he doesn't eat anyhow but he can't be at the institute."
"It's okay Clary I can just see you tomorrow okay. We can get together for coffee and catch up but I think you should go home."
I keep my hands on her shoulders as she turns around to look at Simon and I let her go so they can hug each other. I can see Izzy out of the corner of my eye; she is pulling Kailea up off the sidewalk. Izzy and Kailea disappear inside of the restaurant and I nod at Alec and Magnus and the two of them give me the same look of sympathy as they turn to walk towards the pizza shop.
"I'll call you tomorrow and we can definitely get together; Simon I have missed you so much." Clary whispers to her friend as he rubs her shoulders.
"I've missed you too Clary but I think you should let Jace take you home now; I think you just need to go home and relax."
They hug once more and Simon turns Clary around to face me where I take her small hand in mine. Simon throws himself at me and gives me an awkward side hug as I freeze in place; just as he breaks our hug I pat him on the back and I can hear Clary giggling at the two of us.
"Take care of our girl Jace." Simons voice is low and strained as he looks at me.
"See you tomorrow Simon." I simply respond.
Just as we reach the steps of the institute I can hear the rapid clicking of Izzy's high heels as she runs across the street to catch up with us. Clary lets Izzy take her inside and I tell them I will be in shortly. I slide down onto the steps and let out a puff of air from lungs that feels like I was holding onto since Clary punched Kailea. My phone buzzes in my pocket so I take it out to see who is texting me.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – What the hell is wrong with her?
Me: 217-0226 – She's just stressed out right now.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – Why?
Me: 217-0226 – Different reasons…I can explain better in person.
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – Okay when can we meet up then?
Me: 217-0226 – I'll text you later…maybe tonight after she goes to sleep?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – Anytime will be fine.
I shove my phone back into my jeans as I head into the institute; I find Clary and Izzy in the kitchen talking in hushed whispers. When they see me enter the kitchen they both stop talking and turn to look at me; Izzy is smiling softly at me and Clary's face is full of apology.
"Iz…um Alec texted me; he wants you to meet them at the pizza parlor with some cash." I lie.
"Cash? Why?"
"I guess the credit card machine is broken." I add another layer to the lie.
"Okaaay…well I will be back soon then Clary." Izzy pats Clary's hair as she exits the kitchen. I wait about ten seconds and tell Clary I will be right back because I wanted to tell Izzy to bring drinks back too. Once in the hall; I jog to catch my sister before she can leave.
"Iz wait up a second."
"What?"
"I totally just lied to you in there; Alec never texted me but I need to talk to Clary for a minute and I didn't want her to think I made you leave."
"That's okay Jace; I kind of had a feeling you were lying anyhow because Alec would have just texted me. Whatever the hell is going on with her you need fix it Jace. I have never seen her like that before; and the things she said…I don't think I have ever heard her swear so much before."
"Thanks for not blowing my cover sis. I'll fix this…she's just…stressed and hormonal I guess. I need to get back in there now."
"Sure; see you in a bit."
I watch her leave the institute and I go back to the kitchen to find Clary with tears in her eyes; fuck!
"Jace I don't know what came over me today; please forgive my crazy behavior?"
I drop to my knees in front of her and rest my cheek on her belly as I hug her body; she rests her hands on my shoulders.
"Fuck Kailea; don't even worry about that okay." I mumble into her shirt.
"I'm not talking about what happened at Taki's." Her voice is so low I have to lift my head to hear her.
"Then what are you talking about?" I ask cautiously.
"What I did to you upstairs; Jace I…"
"No baby it's alright." I cut her off in a rush of words.
"It's not alright Jace. You had your hands over your ears and you had your eyes closed; you even tried to stop me but I just slapped your hands away." She sounds so sad as she looks down at me.
"Tell me what was going through your head when that was happening?" I ask.
"I don't know…I guess I just wanted to be distracted for a while and get lost you know."
"I can understand that but why like that? Clary you were hurting yourself; not to mention you kind of scared me."
"I'm sorry I scared you Jace."
"I'm fine but why were you hurting yourself?" My voice is filled with urgency.
"I wasn't trying to hurt myself on purpose but the pain was a distraction."
"I could have distracted you and it wouldn't have hurt you. All you had to do was…"
"I get what you're saying but I guess I just needed to be the one in control; like if I could control that then I would be able to stop seeing her face; I would be able to stop hearing her words."
"I get it now; I think I can understand your thought process but did it work?"
"I thought it did but then all I could think about was the look on your face; between that and that bitch Kailea I guess I kind of lost it at Taki's."
"Please don't do something like that again; not the Kailea thing the other thing; you really did scare me Clary."
"I'm so sorry I scared you; I guess I didn't realize how that must have been for you. Why didn't you tell me to stop?"
"I didn't think you would have even heard me."
"Oh…probably not but you could have stopped me; Jace you are twice my size."
"I was afraid of what you would do if I pushed you off of me." I confess.
"I don't understand; you were…hard…you even…"
"I didn't want to be hard; I didn't want to cum but I didn't have control over my body. I never wanted control over my body more than I did at that moment; I didn't enjoy that at all Clary. Just because I had an orgasm doesn't mean I enjoyed it; my body defied what my mind and heart were trying to scream."
As much as I hate that she is crying again; I feel a sense of relief that maybe she finally understands what she did to me. The heartbroken and shocked look on her face tells me that she understands and that she feels terrible about what happened. I keep my hands on her stomach as I watch her cry; after a moment she cast her eyes down and whispers softly.
"Can you ever forgive me?"
"Look at me Clary…I understand you feel ashamed about what you did but you owe it to me to at least look me in the eye when you ask for my forgiveness." My voice is stern yet gentle. Clary raises her tear filled eyes to look at me and she clears her throat as I brush the tears off of her cheeks with my thumbs.
"I am truly sorry for what I did Jace and I promise that nothing like that will ever happen again. Can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?" Shame is heavy in her words.
"Of course I forgive you; I love you so much Clary." I cup my hands around her face and pull her mouth to mine so I can kiss her gently before pressing our foreheads together so I can look into the green eyes that I fell in love with what feels like a life time ago.
"I love you Jace; I wish I knew what made me so lucky to have such an amazing person like you love me."
"I'm the lucky one baby." I smile at her and she slides her fingers into my hair as she presses her lips against mine; in seconds our kiss turns from soft and gentle to hungry and full of the passion that only the two of us can create together. I groan into her mouth as I rise from the floor and pull her out of the kitchen chair; I want to drag her upstairs and make love to her until she understands how much I truly need her in my life. She stops kissing me and takes a small step backwards as she places her hands on my chest.
"I know what you want right now Jace but I can't; I really did hurt myself and I am too sore."
"That bad huh?"
"Yeah…I'm sorry."
"No don't be sorry; it's probably better that we stay down here anyhow. The pizza will be here soon and you need to feed our daughter." I smile at her and run my fingers through her hair as I do my best to hide my disappointment; I also do my best to hide the concern I feel for just how sore she must be.
Clary smiles at me and hugs me as she lays her head on my chest; a few minutes later I hear the chime from the front door that announces someone is in the institute. In walks Alec, Magnus and Izzy with the pizza and we all sit at the table; we catch up on the last ten days as we eat. Izzy is mad because I didn't take pictures of Clary in her bikini and even Magnus surprises me by saying he would have liked to see that as well. We all laugh when Clary stands and lifts her shirt up to show everyone her swollen belly.
"Is this what you two wanted to see? Well here it is; take a good look at my huge naked belly." She giggles as Magnus pushes her belly button in and we all laugh when it pops right back out.
"Let me try that!" Alec says with excitement and I grab his wrist to stop him from poking at Clary.
"Christ you guys she's not a toy you know." I announce.
"It's okay Jace; I don't mind." Clary continues to chuckle.
"No but I do; I only have so much self-control when it comes to watching another dude put his hands on you." I say playfully and Izzy kicks me under the table.
"Oh relax Jace; it's not like they are licking whipped cream off of her belly." Izzy laughs loudly at her own joke and my perverted mind adds whipped cream to my mental bank of things to do to Clary at a more appropriate time.
By the time Clary gets out of the shower and climbs into bed it's almost ten-thirty and she looks as exhausted as I feel; must be the jet lag that has me feeling so tired. I tried to coax Clary into getting a shower with me but she was too busy talking to Izzy in her room; I decided that it was for the best anyhow because I remembered that she was sore and I don't think I would have been able to behave myself in the shower. Even now with her innocently snuggled up to my side I have to remind myself to keep my perverted hands to myself; I don't think I will ever get enough of this green eyed girl and I couldn't be happier about that.
At two-thirty in the morning I wake up with a start because I forgot I was supposed to go see Simon. I quietly leave our bedroom after I get dressed and send him a quick text.
Me: 217-0226 – Where are you?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – About ready to give up on you. I have been waiting for hours to hear from you.
Me: 217-0226 – I'm sorry…I fell asleep. Can I meet you at your apartment now?
Bloodsucker: 217-9437 – Sure.
Me: 217-0226 – Thanks see you in a few.
I shove my phone back into my pocket as I walk down the street towards Simon's apartment in a hurry; the sooner I get there the sooner I can go back home and snuggle up to Clary. Ten minutes later I raise my hand to knock on his apartment door but before I can connect my hand with the steel door it opens; Simon's hair sticks up wildly and he looks like he was sleeping.
"Were you sleeping?"
"Like I said I waited forever for you; so I must have dozed off on the couch. Your text woke me up."
I flop onto Simons couch and look at him as he takes a seat in the chair that is in the corner of the living room. When he pulls his knees up under his chin I almost smile at him; right now he doesn't look like the vampire that he is; right now he looks like the Simon that I barely knew when Clary first came to the institute. I end up smiling at him anyhow and he looks at me in confusion.
"What are you smiling at?"
"You. You look so cute sitting there like that."
"You're an idiot. Talk to me Jace; what's going on with Clary?"
"My attempt to flirt with you seems to have fallen on deaf ears so I guess we can talk about Clary then."
"Why do I get the feeling you have some kind of bad news Jace?"
"Why would you feel like that?"
"Because that's what you do; you make jokes when you are trying to hide what you really should be talking about."
"Shit…you know me too well Simon; I'm not sure I like that but you are sort of right…Don't bug your eyes at me like that…Clary is fine I promise; she just went a little crazy today is all. The bad news really isn't my business to repeat but it's a big part of Clary's temporary insanity so I guess it would be okay to tell you about it. My friend Emma's girlfriend Sandra is dying and it really has Clary rattled."
"Oh…geez…I'm sorry Jace. How is Emma taking this?"
"Depends on the day really; one day Em seems to be at terms with the situation but then sometimes she looks like she will fall apart if you say the wrong thing to her. I guess I would probably feel the same way…fuck…I don't want to think about something like that even happening to Clary. Look just so you know Clary is fine…well not completely but she will be…she is just having a hard time with all of this."
"I thought she was going to kill Kailea today; it's messed up but I almost wanted her to. All your exes seem to make Clary a little insecure."
"Did she tell you that?" I ask in a panic.
"She doesn't have to; I just know how Clary thinks."
"First of all don't use the word ex because in order for someone to be an ex that would mean that there was something more than just sex; trust me there never was with a single one of the girls I fucked or got blow jobs from. Clary doesn't need to feel insecure; none of them meant a damn thing to me. I just fucked them and then I wanted them to go away; shit most of the time I always felt regret after I fucked any of them. Clary is…she's different…I love her…she is my world Simon and I don't know what I can tell her to make her understand how much she really means to me."
"I wouldn't sweat it too much Jace; Clary will get over her insecurities with time."
"Did you let her go on purpose today?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You said you wanted to let Clary go after Kailea so did you let her go on purpose?"
"No she might be tiny Jace but she is a squirmy little thing and I was afraid to hold her too tightly; I didn't want to hurt her or the baby. Are you okay?"
"Me? Why are you asking me that?"
"She hit you today; I watched her pound her fist against your chest."
"I'm fine; she wasn't even hitting me that hard. I think she was just so embarrassed that she didn't know how to vent that and that's why she hit me."
"She didn't seem embarrassed to me; she seemed pissed."
"Yeah she was definitely pissed but she was only using her anger to cover up her shame."
"Why? What was she ashamed of?"
"Fuck me! I know I should have just kept my mouth shut. Would it be possible for you to just let this go Simon?"
"Not a chance; now spill it Jace."
"I don't know how to say this to you so I guess I will just spit it out fast…Clary kind of…fuck…she kind of…oh Christ I don't even want to use this word but she kind of raped me today before we all went to dinner."
"What? You must be joking Jace! Clary wouldn't do something like that; I mean she is half your size so that seems impossible. Rape is a very strong word and I don't think you should be using it." Simon's voice is full of anger as he looks at me.
"It is a strong word but…that's pretty much what happened. Clary and I talked about it and we are fine now but it doesn't change what happened; it doesn't change how completely helpless I felt today." Fuck I can feel the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes right in front of him like a damn idiot; I blink a few times and wipe my eyes with the back of my hands to get rid of the evidence.
"Wow…Jace…I…shit I'm really sorry man."
"No! Sit back down Simon; I can tell you are getting ready to come over here and hug me and if you come near me right now I will punch you; so just sit the fuck back down."
I watch him lower himself back into the chair as his brown eyes look at me with pity; that look he is giving me is almost enough to make me get out of my own seat and punch him anyhow.
"I might need a few days to get over this before I can see Clary." Simon says softly.
"No you don't. Look that's not what happened; she didn't really rape me…the situation was completely different from what you must be thinking…telling you the way I told you was my fucked up attempt at telling you without going into details; Alec was the one who put that stupid word in my head in the first place."
"Does Alec know what really happened then?"
"Yeah."
"Oh so he can know the details but I don't deserve to hear them? You basically accuse my best friend of raping you and I'm just supposed to accept that and then act like it didn't happen when I see her."
"Simon…please…I'm sorry okay. The only reason why Alec knows anything about it is because he knocked on my bedroom door; he heard Clary and he was worried about her so I had to explain it to him."
"What do you mean he heard Clary?"
"You know what I'm talking about Simon…Alec could hear the sounds she was making; he thought I was hurting her but I wasn't she was the one who was in control; she was the one hurting herself."
"Why didn't you fucking stop her then?" Simon shouts.
"You don't understand; it's like she wasn't even in the same room with me when it was happening. I did try to slow her down but she slapped my hands off of her body. Fuck…it happened and I can't change it or erase it but I really don't want to talk about it anymore; I don't even want to think about it anymore. I just want to put it in the past and move on."
"Are you sure you can do that though? Jace you're shaking and you were crying a minute ago."
"I'm fine and I wasn't fucking crying; I'm only upset because you made me tell you what happened and you know how I feel about telling private things about her."
"Yeah well this is completely different than telling me about you and Clary's sex life; this is fucked up. What Clary did to you was wrong…before you start yelling just here me out…I am glad the two of you talked this over and are able to move past it but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to talk about how it made you feel. Jace what Clary did obviously has you rattled in a terrible way and I don't think you are disrespecting Clary by talking about how she made you feel. I get that you are the dude here and maybe to some people you shouldn't be so sensitive about all this but fuck…dudes have feeling too…I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm here if you need to talk."
"Thank you Simon; I really do appreciate that."
"Clary might be my best friend but that doesn't mean I can't be your friend too you know."
"If you repeat what I am about to say to you I will completely deny this entire conversation and they will never find your body okay."
"Okay…" Simon says nervously.
"I do consider you my friend; I guess I even…shit…love you in some strange way. I mean Clary loves you; I love Clary so I guess it's only natural for me to feel something for you as well. I don't know another person that cares about her like I do except you; I know in my heart that you would do anything for Clary and that simple fact makes me love you Simon."
"I don't want to fuck this up or make it all mushy so let me just say this to you Jace. Clary is my best friend and I would literally do anything for that girl. You and I have had a few bumps in the road but at the end of the day there is no one I trust more with my best friends heart than you."
"Thank you."
"Your welcome. I love you too Jace."
"You just fucked it up; you just made this awkward."
"Oh stop; I did not. If I got up and gave you a big hug right now; then that would make this awkward."
"I will punch you Simon."
"Relax; I'm not going to hug you."
"We're getting married."
"Seriously I can't hug you but we are getting married?"
"Not you and I you idiot; me and Clary. I asked her to marry me and she said yes."
"When did this happen?"
"Before we went to LA. I am waiting to get her ring from the jeweler; I sent it away to get it sized."
"So you asked her to marry you and she doesn't even have a shiny ring to show off to people? I am disappointed in you Jace. Clary goes on and on about how sweet you are; about how romantic you can be and you fucked up your proposal to her. Christ…you weren't having sex with her when you asked her were you?"
"Oh my god! Shut up Simon! No I was not having sex with Clary when I asked her to marry me. I had all these plans for how and when and where I was going to propose to her but shit just kept going wrong. The day I asked her was a very bad day for her and I but we got through it together; that fact was why I asked her to marry me right there on the spot. I know that no matter what is going on in our lives she will always be the most important person in my world and I just didn't want to wait a second longer to ask her."
"Well congratulations then. I couldn't be happier for the two of you."
"Are you being sarcastic right now?"
"Not at all; I am being completely sincere. So when's the big day?"
"We haven't set a date but it's not going to be anytime soon."
"Why not?"
"We have to both be eighteen before the clave will approve of our marriage."
"That's stupid; they should make an exception because Clary is pregnant."
"Actually the strange thing about the clave is Clary being pregnant would only make them force us to wait longer."
"That's fucking stupid."
"The law is hard but it is the law."
"Don't blather your shadow hunter bullshit to me Jace; admit it you think it's fucking stupid too."
"I can't disagree with you about it but it doesn't matter. The wedding will just have to wait until Clary and I are both considered adults under the eyes of the clave. I can't do anything to change their minds so I will just have to learn to be patient."
"You patient? Jace you are probably one of the most impatient people I know."
"This is true but even I amaze myself from time to time. Can I ask you something Simon?"
"I would love to be your best man but I think it might hurt Alec's feelings so I will have to turn you down out of respect for him considering I like him more than I do you."
"Are you finished?" I roll my eyes at him.
"Oh…that wasn't your question? So what's your question then?"
"Izzy?" I state.
"What about her?"
"Are you still dating her?"
"Not exactly."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"We still…um…see each other occasionally but we aren't really seeing each other anymore; if you get what I am saying."
"So…what? You two just fuck from time to time? Are you okay with that?"
"No of course I'm not okay with that but you know how I feel about your sister; I guess I will just take whatever she is willing to give me."
"You are pathetic you know that right?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Make her work for it Simon. Keep your fucking pants on until she wakes up and realizes that she loves you too."
"You do realize you are pretty much telling me to play your sister don't you?"
"I'm not telling you to play her; it's just Izzy can be stubborn and well…very selfish…she needs to know that she can't have her cake and eat it too so to speak. If you love her and want more of her then you shouldn't make it so easy for her to just take what she wants from you without taking your feelings into consideration."
"But what if she never realizes that she loves me? What if she doesn't even love me in the first place? Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Then you will have to move on but at least you will be able to walk around with your head held high. Christ Simon, have some respect for yourself even if Izzy can't find respect for you; you should at least have it for yourself. You are a great per…vampire…fuck…person; you are a great person and if she can't see how good you are for her then she's the asshole not you."
"Um…thanks I guess."
"Look I'm tired and I think my lack of sleep is making me weird. I think I am going to go home and look at my naked fiancé before our little bromance gets too out of hand."
Simon laughs as he walks me to the front door and I am even nice when I allow him to rest his hand on my shoulder as he tells me goodbye. I surprise my own self when I give him a quick hug only to follow it with a hard punch to his shoulder; unfortunately punching him didn't make our awkward hug go away.
