Don't give up

cause you have friends

don't give up

you're not beaten yet

don't give up

I know you can make it good

-Peter Gabriel, Don't Give Up

Bella POV

The next day I came home. Charlie was in one of his violent moods. Just great.

"Bellllls, whaaat the fuck is going on?" he said, not really able to stand up straight.

"Dad, let me get you somewhere to sit."

He slashed me across the face.

"I don't neeeeed you."

What the fuck?

"Charlie. Stop." I was crying by now.

The doorbell rang.

"Fuuuck," Charlie said, kicking the leg of the table.

"I'll handle this, Charlie. Make yourself scarce. Please." My please came out like a desperate beg.

I answered the door. It was Mike Newton.

"Hey, Bellaaa. What's up?"

"Now's not the time, Mike," I snapped.

"I wanted to apologize for the other day. I came off too strong, didn't I?" Mike said, glancing over my shoulder. I could tell he wanted me to invite him. Even if Charlie wasn't in one of his moods I wouldn't have.

"Mike, you should go. Your apology is accepted."

I tried to push the door in his face. "Bella, are you okay?"

He actually sounded genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, Mike. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Goodbye."

I slammed the door in his face. He'd surely harass me about this tomorrow, but I had other things to deal with at the moment.

"Whore," scowled Charlie.

"It-its not what you think," I stuttered.

"Bullshiiiit. You fuckin' Newton too, eh? I thought you were juuust fucking Cullen. Guess I was wrong."

My eyes rimmed with tears at the thought that he would even bring Edward up in that way.

"Fuck you," I said.

Oh. Fucking. Shit. Shit. Shit. What did I just do? What was I thinking?

"WHAT did you just say to me?" Charlie started walking towards me and my body trembled.

"Please don't hurt me, Charlie. This isn't you," I begged.

"Bells, I'd never hurt you," Charlie said, his voice softening.

"You al-already have." I found myself stumbling over my words once again.

"Hmph." And like that, the fire returned to his eyes.

But he made his way to the couch and watched the screen blankly. He was just as bad of a zombie as I was sometimes.

Ha. I was a zombie, and Edward was a robot. A robot for that fucking Jasper Hale and Tyler Crowley.

I ran up to my room and fell into a deep sleep, the only thing that makes me happy lately.

The rain was coming down especially hard today, and I felt it. I felt it in my veins, I felt it tug at my heart, I felt it clouding up my mind.

I sat in the cafeteria by myself yet again.

I looked across the cafeteria. Edward was sitting with his friends. The usual: Jasper, Tyler, Emmett, Jessica Stanley, Ben Cheney, and Lauren Mallory. Rosalie Hale, Jasper's modelesque, stunning sister was sitting with them. She associated with all of the boys, but not Lauren or Jessica. They always tried to become "bff" with her but she didn't really like them. She was also dating Edward's brother, Emmett.

I really miss Emmett…

Anyways I looked towards their table. I usually stare at their table. Its not out of envy or anything, its…I don't know. It just pains me. But in no way do I want to be over there.

Edward was smiling at everything his friends were saying. They were all laughing hysterically but he only offered a smile; a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

I looked over by Emmett. Next to him, I saw Rosalie Hale looking my way. She was staring right at me. Her lip was sort of pouted, she wore a frown. She looked totally bored with whatever was going on. And she gave me the most pitying look. Her face was filled with "that poor, poor lost girl." I just knew that's what she was thinking. Emmett nudged her and she snapped back into attention and giggled at something he did, lightly smacking him on the side of his head.

"Bella?"

I looked to the side. It was that Alice girl from my sixth hour.

"Mind if I sit here? I don't really know anyone…I'd just been sitting with some kid named Eric. He's a bore though," she said, giggling the last part.

I didn't really acknowledge her, and she took it upon herself to sit down next to me.

I kept staring ahead, at Edward's table. People I used to know, people I do not wish to know, people I never liked, and Rosalie. She was one of her own. I didn't used to know her, I didn't not wish to know her (she'd never done anything wrong) and I don't hate her or not like her or anything. But I guess I don't wish to know her. I don't wish to know anybody. I prefer to be alone. Which brings me back to this girl right next to me.

"You like one of those guys? I call dibs on the blonde!" Alice said, clapping her hands together, bouncing up and down.

"No," I mumbled.

"Who is the blonde, anyway?"

I cringed at her excitement towards the great "Jasper Hale".

"That's Jasper Hale," I scowled in a low voice.

"What? Is he bad news or something?"

I looked at her. Her face looked determined…and so innocent. I couldn't be mean to this girl no matter how much I tried.

"Well, no. I don't really know him."

"Oh…well, maybe after I get through with him, you will," she said with a wink.

I groaned.

This was going to be such a long week.

xoxo, B.