Frozen
Chapter 11 - Welcome Home
The last few days of classes went by with unfair speed. Julia spent as much time with Sirius, James, and Remus as she could, seeing as she would probably not see them for a while; James she might not see ever again after the summer started. She tried not to think about that when she was around them. If she did she would tear up, and then, they would be concerned and curious. Their concern would only make it harder for her, so she tried to enjoy her time with them.
When she wasn't with the trio, she was with Severus or on her own. She would talk with Severus at meals and between and during classes, which were pretty much free periods after the exams. He never approached her at night to hang out in her room. Julia was slightly hurt that he didn't seem to have much time for her anymore outside of classes. She knew that she shouldn't be so upset, but the time they had spent together had been the happiest of Julia's time at Hogwarts. She would miss him painfully when the summer came.
The day before the students left, Dumbledore sent her a note. It said that he would apparate her to her new home after the students left, and not to worry about packing her things. He would have them sent after he took her to her apartment.
Julia looked at Severus, who had delivered the note. "Dumbledore found me a job and apartment," she explained to him. He walked into her room and sat down in the armchair, like he always did. Julia walked over to the bed and sat down cross-legged.
"Where at?" Severus asked.
"I don't know actually. He's going to apparate me there tomorrow."
"Shouldn't you find out?" Severus asked scathingly.
Julia shrugged. "I'll figure it out when I get there." Severus rolled his eyes. "What are you doing this summer, Severus?" Julia asked raising her eyebrows.
Severus shifted uncomfortably as he always did when she brought up the future. "I'm going to be at home for the summer," he said bitterly. "Then, I'm going to get a job at the Ministry or in Diagon Alley."
Julia nodded, even though she knew he was lying. "Sounds exciting," she said sarcastically.
"Yes, about as exciting as your summer, huh?" he said in a harsh voice.
Julia laughed. Severus shook his head at her. He seemed not to understand her happiness, and Julia was starting to get annoyed with it. He needed to get over his obsession with her happiness. She was happy, so what? Why couldn't he accept that she enjoyed life? She opened her mouth to ask him, but instantly shut her mouth. She didn't want to argue with Severus, not the day before they had to separate. She'd save that conversation for a later date.
As per usual, thinking of the far future made tears come to Julia's eyes. She wiped them away roughly, avoiding Severus' disturbed glance. He was obviously uncomfortable with her emotional instability. Hell! She was uncomfortably with her emotional state. She became depressed or upset without any warning. She would cry for hours at night and spend hours gazing into the fire, in an empty stupor. It was incredibly annoying, and Julia hoped it wouldn't last.
Severus left not long after her near breakdown. Julia couldn't blame him. He probably didn't want to deal with her if she had a complete breakdown, and he undoubtedly had no idea how to handle a emotional teenage girl. She couldn't help but wish he would comfort her. She needed it, and she wanted Severus to be the one to do it.
Julia laughed to herself. Severus would never comfort her. He was too cold and stiff. Plus, he had no interest in her. She was just a distraction for him. Julia shook her head at her foolishness, but it didn't stop her from fantasizing about Severus wrapping his arms around her as she let herself breakdown. It was a comforting fantasy and made her feel a bit better.
The next day was one of the worst of Julia's life. She said goodbye to her Gryffindor friends first. It was the first time she was in close contact with Lily, and Julia was surprised at how civil she was to her, nodding to Julia in farewell. She received hugs from Remus, James, and Sirius, who hugged her the tightest and longest. As she stared into his strikingly handsome face, Julia's heart clenched. The next time she would probably see him would be in the Daily Prophet when he was sent to Azkaban. The same was true for James and when she looked into his face, tears came to her eyes. The full reality that she may never see him again struck her, and it took all of her self control to keep from telling him everything. With one last whispered farewell and hug, they walked off towards Hogsmeade. A couple tears leaked from her eyes as she watched them walk down the path.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned to go back down to the dungeons. She hadn't seen Severus come out of the dungeons yet, and she hoped he was still in his rooms. He was just stepping out of his door when she came around the corner. He looked at her, and Julia was sure he looked relieved when he saw her. She stopped when she was close to him, and looked up into his eyes. Behind the cold emotionless eyes, Julia could see some sadness and regret.
"I'm glad I came to Hogwarts," Julia said suddenly.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Why would that be?"
"Because I met Sirius, of course," Julia teased, smiling up at him. Severus scowled. "I'm kidding, Severus. I'm glad because I met you, and that's the truth. I doubt I would have enjoyed my short time if it hadn't been for you. I'm..." she hesitated, but made herself continue. "I'm going to miss you, Severus." She reached out and tentatively wrapped her arms around him for a moment. Severus immediately stiffened from the show of affection. She had never shown him any affection in the past, so this was completely new for the both of them. Julia pulled away quickly, not wanting to make him too uncomfortable.
Severus did not relax his stiff frame for a few moments. After a minute or so, he relaxed and he breathed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. Julia had a flashback of the first day they met when he had offered to heal her. He had pinched the bridge of his nose then, too, and looked equally uncomfortable. When he finally looked up, his eyes shifted nervously, and he said, "I'm...going...to...miss...you...too," he whispered in a broken voice. His tone was robotic, but it made Julia's heart skip a beat. His words made Julia's heart soar and sink at the same time. While she was overjoyed that he was actually going to miss her, this was also what she had feared. She would actually come to mean something to Severus, and it would be almost impossible to separate herself from him. At the moment though, Julia was too happy to care. All that mattered to her right now was that Severus was really going to miss her.
Julia beamed up at her, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. It was the first time he had allowed himself to smile at her, and even though it was only a half-smile, she would take what she could get. A simple half-smile from him sent Julia's mind and body into overload. Her skin prickled and her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Her breath caught in her throat, and for a few seconds she couldn't speak.
Finally, she managed in a breathless whisper to say, "I hope you have a fun summer, Severus."
The smile fell from his face and the scowl returned. "Yes, it'll be wonderful," he said sarcastically.
Julia rolled her eyes. "Enjoy your freedom while you can, Severus. The real world is not fun." Severus didn't realize how loaded those words were really were, and it hurt Julia to think of the pain he would suffer in the future.
Severus nodded stiffly. "I should go. The train's leaving soon. Goodbye, Julia," he said in a strained voice. The last two words he said slowly and almost sadly.
Involuntarily, a tear leaked from the corner of her eye. "Goodbye, Severus." She wanted to say so much more like she'd write to him or she'd see him soon, but she couldn't promise any of it. Merlin only knew when she would next see him.
Severus sighed and hesitated for a fraction of a second before passing her in the corridor. Julia turned and watched him walk away feeling a dull ache spread in her chest. A lump formed in her throat and her heart constricted painfully. When he had disappeared, Julia walked into her rooms. She was barely inside the door when she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She didn't allow herself to sob, but she allowed the tears to fall.
When the tears had stopped, Julia stood and wiped them away feeling pathetic and weak. She always felt weak after the cried. In her opinion it was like she was giving up. She hated giving up in anything, especially when it came to internal battles.
She sat alone in her room for about half an hour before someone knocked on her door. She opened it and was unsurprised to see the Headmaster.
"Hello, sir," Julia said, stepping into the corridor.
"Miss Sellick," Dumbledore said with a nod. "I trust your parting farewells were not too difficult." The twinkle in his eyes suggested he knew otherwise.
"No, they could have been worse," Julia said miserably.
"It'll all work out in the end, Miss Sellick," Dumbledore said knowingly, his eyes sparkling.
Julia narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but did not question him. He knew something, and he was not telling her. It was annoying. She followed in silently through the halls and out onto the grounds. They stopped outside the gates.
"Grip my arm tightly, Miss Sellick, and please, whatever you do, do not let it go." He raised his right arm. Julia nodded and took hold of it tightly. The painfully uncomfortable claustrophobic feeling of her chest being compressed consumed her for a few moments, and then it was gone.
Julia released Dumbledore's arm and looked around. They were standing in a plain and small living room. There was a coffee table, sofa, and armchair, but no other decorations. The small kitchen was connected to the living room with a small counter that made it possible to look out the living room window in the kitchen. Julia glanced behind them and could see three doors. One she was sure to the bathroom, the other to her bedroom, and the other the exit of the apartment. While it was plain and dully colored, it was far more than she had expected. It was spotlessly clean and smelled like fresh air as if the window had been recently open.
Julia beamed at Dumbledore. "It's wonderful, sir. Thank you so much!"
Dumbledore smiled at her kindly. "I'm glad you like it, Miss Sellick. The landlady lives in the apartment below you, and I have told her of your situation. She has asked me to let you know that you are welcome to come to her should you need anything."
Julia's heart swelled at the woman's kindness. She hadn't met many people who would be so kind to a stranger they had never met. "Thank you, sir. I don't know how I could ever repay you."
"No repayment is necessary, Julia. I am more than happy to help. Your situation is unique and I never expected to force you out on your own. It would be cruelly unfair." Dumbeldore glanced at the pocket watch in his robes. "I'm sorry to rush off, but I have an appointment. Your work schedule is on the counter, as is a copy of your lease and a couple other pieces of information. I wish you the best of luck, Miss Sellick." With a nod, he disapparted, and Julia was left to explore her new home.
As she expected, her bedroom and bathroom were plain, but she didn't care. She could add her own personal touches as the summer progressed. After checking out her new home, Julia looked at her work schedule. She worked six days a week about seven to eight hours a day. It was a full schedule, but she didn't mind. She needed the distraction that work would bring. Among the other papers was a map of the town. She was able to find the market easily and was glad to see it wasn't a far walk. At most, it would take her ten minutes and that was if she walked slowly. She also noticed on the map that there was a park nearby. Julia made a mental note to check it out. Parks served as a perfect opportunity to find drawing subjects.
A few hours after she arrived, her belongings popped into her room. She unloaded her clothing into the small dresser, and moved her books into the living room. She set up her parchment and quills on the coffee table. She planned to use her free time that wasn't occupied by writing and drawing, studying. Before leaving Hogwarts, she had subscribed to the Daily Prophet and the newspaper always had ads for books. That way she could get new books whenever she advanced her magical knowledge.
She was so busy preparing her new home that Julia had nearly forgotten Severus. Well, she had merely put him in the back of her mind where it didn't hurt so much to think about him. By the time it grew dark, Julia's mind returned to him. She missed him horribly. It felt unusual to not have him next door. She felt almost unsafe. She made sure to put up her silencing charms before she crawled into bed. She didn't have the Dreamless Sleep Draughts anymore, and she wasn't sure what to expect that night.
To Julia's absolute shock, she was awoken not by her screams but by the alarm clock on her bedside table. She hit the clock to stop the alarm and rolled onto her back. She rubbed her bleary eyes and stared at the ceiling. It took her a few moments to realize that she had slept through the whole night. When she did, she bolted up and stared around her room, not seeing it.
She was too shocked to form any coherent thoughts about her dreamless sleep. She numbly got up and showered. She quickly ate breakfast and left her apartment. She followed the stairs down to the bottom floor and stepped out into the town. It was fairly quiet considering the early hour. There were a few people around, and they gave her curious looks. Julia smiled politely at them and continued on her way until she found Maihle's Market.
She opened the door and saw a young woman behind a counter. Julia walked up to her nervously. "Hello," Julia said to her when she looked up. "I'm Julia Sellick. I'm supposed start working here today."
The woman smiled genuinely at her. "Hello, Julia. I'm Alayna Maihle. C'mon into the back, and I'll set you up." Julia followed her through the aisles into the back room. Alayna handed Julia a card. "You'll punch in when you get here, when you leave, and when you take breaks." She handed Julia an apron with Maihle's Maket on the front. "The uniform, obviously," Alayna said with a smile. "You can wear what you like underneath the apron so long as it is appropriate." Julia nodded. "You'll be working in the front room. I'll have you stock shelves today, but you'll eventually work as a clerk. I'd teach you today, but I had a last minute cop out." Alayna sighed. "I hope you're not like some of these other teenagers. They can't get out of bed before noon."
Julia laughed. "No need to worry about that. I'm an early riser."
Alayna smiled. "That's nice to hear. Start with putting these boxes on the shelf. The number on the top of the box refers to the aisle it goes in. It's pretty self-explanatory after that. Put the new stuff behind the stuff already on the shelf. Etc. Etc."
Julia smiled. "I think I've got it."
"Good. Some of these kids need everything explained to them. Welcome to Maihle's Market, Julia." Alayna left Julia to her work. It was extremely easy, but Julia didn't care. Eventually, a few other teenagers showed up. They were around Julia's age but completely childish. She tried to be friendly but found herself snapping at them occasionally. At the end of the day, Julia hung up her apron and punched out her card. Alayna came through the doors just as Julia was about to leave.
"How was your first day?" Alayna asked.
"Good. Tiring but good," Julia said.
"Were the others nice to you?"
"More or less," Julia said with a shrug. "But it's okay. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to work. If I happen to make friends along the way, so much the better."
"I like your attitude, Julia. I'm glad to have you on the team. Have a nice night." Alayna went back into the store and Julia left. Julia walked along the sidewalk slowly. She passed her apartment building and headed out of town. The park she had wanted to visit was on the outside edge of the main part of town. It wasn't hard to find. It was deserted which was understandable. It was dinnertime and the children were undoubtedly at home eating. Julia wasn't hungry and entered the park.
It had the usual playthings that parks had. Swings, teeter-totter, slides, sandboxes, etc. Julia took a seat on a bench in a far corner of the park that was shaded by a line of trees behind it. The setting sun lit the park with a golden sheen. The deserted and golden park gave off a lonely but beautiful feeling. Julia breathed deeply and stared at the empty park until it turned dark. Then, she finally stood and walked home.
The next two weeks passed in a similar fashion. Julia would work for most of the day and then go to the park after she finished working. Occasionally there would be a stray family here and there, but most of the time the park was empty. She started to bring her journal with her to sketch the sights she saw, or write. She found the park peaceful and comforting. She would stay until it turned dark, and then would go home. She had no more nightmares and was getting full nights' sleep, which did wonders for her.
She would spend most of her day off reading and studying. She gained more on that one day of solitary study than she did in a week at Hogwarts. It had always been that way. She learned better when she taught herself. She could learn at her own pace. If she understood something, she could move on. If she didn't understand something, she could focus on it more.
For two weeks, Julia continued on in this pattern without interruption. Her days were spent working and occasionally socializing with Alayna. Her evenings were spent in the park and she spent the night in restful sleep. It was a comfortable yet monotonous pattern. Julia was starting to get restless. She needed some kind of change.
Just when she thought she would have to go out and try to find change, change found her. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and she had just finished her shift at the market. She was going to the park with her journal in hand, paying no mind to her surroundings. She maneuvered her way through the park towards her usual bench. When she reached it and looked at it, she froze. There was already somebody there. His legs were stretched out in front of him and he had his arms crossed across his chest. Julia's eyes met his eyes, and her heart stopped. The man jumped to his feet in shock.
Her journal slipped from her grasp and fell to the ground with a muffled thud, as she stared into his shocked eyes with absolute disbelief.
"Severus!"
Author's Note: I must thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. I loved them all. They are so greatly appreciated. Please keep them coming. I update faster when I know there are people who really want me to update and give me feedback. Thanks for reading.
