A/N: I was in a mood to watch the show, and I thought, might as well :) This is literally turning into a Melinda and Jim: The Lost Scenes for The Client List lol. Enjoy! xx Mariah
She carried Travis in from the car and Evan had Katie. her two babies were so perfect tonight. They were having so much fun, leaving everything on that stage tonight and in a way she was happy that they could be so strong at a time like this.
They both missed their father so much and Riley missed him too. She felt empty inside without him, her heart left with him and she didn't know how she was ever going to get it back.
She'd do anything just to have him back. For her kids. For her sweet Katie and humble Travis. They were innocent in this, caught in the crossfire of their parents struggling marriage. She could learn to cope with her pain if he didn't love her anymore, but they needed their father.
Evan lead once they got inside and she followed him down to their room and brought Travis to his bed, taking a moment to brush back his head and kiss his forehead.
Her first baby. The shocker. Her baby boy. Sometimes he needed her. He didn't like admit it anymore, but deep down he was always reaching for her. Standing closer to her and holding her hand.
All she could hope was that he didn't push her away soon as all teen boys tend to do once or twice in their childhood. She wished she could pretend her was small for a whole day and kiss him all over and dress him and bathe him. To take care of him completely, but she also didn't miss it all of the time. It was blessing and a curse to be a mother and even more to be a wife.
"I think we can skip PJs tonight," she whispered, smiling at Evan.
"They were awesome!" he exclaimed in a whisper. "Katie looked like she was having such a great time up there, and Travis! He had a solo and looked so happy when everyone applauded."
"I'm so proud of them," she grinned at her two children, who slept soundly as she reached to turn of Katie's lamp and kiss her head. "Wanna share a glass of wine together?"
"That'd be great," Evan smiled at her and he followed her out into the hallway, leaving the door ajar. "You know, I'm proud of you."
"What for?" She asked, stopping him in the hallway, smiling at him.
"Somehow, you managed to keep it all together. The kids, the house. It's a lot." He explained, touching her cheek.
She moved away from his touch and could only think of Kyle. Of how she wished he could be here with her, him being the one to say this to her, but it was Evan. She wished for it to be Kyle as she looked back at him, but it wasn't. It was his brother.
"Well, I had a little help," she replied, not truly knowing if that was the right thing to say. She never did anymore. She didn't know how to do anything.
"You know, I think you're a lot strong than anyone ever knew." He said softly.
Her heart felt full as he said that to her, his hand reaching for her and she took it comfortably.
"Thank you," she breathed, her tears rolling freely over her cheeks. "Thank you for everything Evan. I mean it."
"And if you ever need anything..." He watched her face move and wished that he could wipe away those tears with a kiss. Brown eyes were never his favorite until he saw hers. The way she moved her finger around in her hair. Her everything. He was in love with everything. "I mean anything Riley."
"I know," she breathed and then her phone rang, pulling her from the conversation as she went to grab it off the hallway table, glancing down. "Oh, my God. It's Kyle." She brought the phone to her ear and could hear him breathing. "Hello?" There was silence and then a click and her heart dropped with it. "No... no no."
She redialed the phone and walked out to the living room. Directly to voicemail.
She tried his number again and again that night and each time it went to voicemail, but the last time, after Lacey had arrived when Evan called her and left, he answered, but didn't say a word.
"Kyle," she whispered and Lacey reached for the bottle of wine. "If you can hear me, come home. The kids need you. They miss you. I need you. I don't know how to live without you."
He sat against the wall with the phone to his ear as she spoke to him, his heart breaking to not say anything, but he couldn't trust himself. Not until he was clean. It was against the code to even call her, but he missed her voice.
His friend watched over him and shook his head as he went to speak. "You're lucky I even let you answer it before breaking the phone. You know you can't trust your promises right now."
What he wanted to say wasn't a promise. He knew it deep inside him, even as he left her and the kids behind.
"I love you," he breathed and hung up.
And there it is, finally, all of time slipped through my fingers. Reality fell from my grasp and she was down on her knees in agonizing grief as her heart may as well stop beating. She didn't know that it was possible to grieve someone who's still alive.
Lacey held her as she cried and even after she stopped and they put on a movie to watch.
How could she live with this? Knowing that he was out there, but not with her. Not with his family. Where there was light became shadows, the pain came and went like waves on frigid sand. Though her mind called out for his the connection was gone... he were gone... and finally she knew that her time to be alone had come.
The silence was deafening, but his voice was worse. It rang quietly like static and she couldn't remember why she'd ever wanted to hear him speak. He left slowly, unnoticed, until one day she looked around and there was no one there, he took all of sound with him and when it came back she felt its impact.
"I need to get out of this," she stood suddenly and Lacey stood to, grasping her as she stumbled.
"Riley," Lacey's voice was the least of her worry, but she looked at her anyway. "You need to lie down."
"I've done enough of that," she whispered. "Go home to Dale. I'm fine."
"No," Lacey shook her head and touched her and it burned her skin so much that she pulled away and stepped back. "I'm one phone call away."
"Thank you," she nodded and went toward her room, stripping her dress off and then her panties before turning on her bath, shaking epsom salts and bubble bath around before pulling her hair up into a bun and stepping into the warm water, letting it heal her pain for now and closing her eyes.
These moments would be her safe place where she didn't have to pretend she was okay. Where she could break and cry and let the water wash her clean.
Kyle laid on the bed, drenched in a sweat as his body craved those little white pills. He couldn't. If he didn't sacrifice for what her wanted, what he wanted would become the sacrifice.
And he'd already lost enough.
There was a moment where he realized he would not the same person he was a year ago, not even a month ago. He would be clean. He would be good for kids and for Riley again. Maybe it's when he was no longer afraid to be truthful about his addiction, about his need to numb everything. Or his need to want to be who he used to be.
There was a moment when he breathed in, and when he breathed out it felt like a billion pounds had been lifted off his shoulders. It was growth and he believed that by realizing what he needed to fix, and by doing that, it meant he'd be okay and so would his family.
He needed a release and when he finally got the energy to get up and shower, he stood under the water, letting it wash him clean and bring him back to her.
The sounds. The little pants and whimpers. The broken moans. Watching her toes curl. The fingers tangled in his hair, slowing down, hard breathing. Feeling her compensate by arching up and grinding against his tongue, feeling her quiver and throb, as he pulled back just so. That twenty second grip on his skull right before she collapsed in exhaustion. The way she grasped his neck or the back of his head to drag him up her body to taste herself on his lips. His wife, their way of communication.
He released everything he did and let it go down the drain, crying out for her and pounding his fist into the wall.
He needed her back, but he couldn't. Not yet.
Riley walked into the bar and saw Georgia and the girls immediately. Maybe this was a bad idea. She really wanted to take a bath and have some time by herself. It was her only safe place these days where she didn't have to pretend she didn't always have Kyle on her mind.
There had to be something she was missing. Something more than just Maxine and something inside made her think he wasn't cheating on her. He wouldn't dare, not with her mother around to kill him.
"Riley! Over here!" Georgia called out and she waved, running over.
Too late to escape now.
"Hey girls!" She smiled and hugged them all. "Did you guys just get here?"
"Give or take a few minutes," Selena smiled. "We ordered a pitcher for margaritas!"
"Ooh I love a good margarita..." She was practically salivating just thinking about a nice cold margarita.
She hopped up onto the bar stool and looked around, chuckling at how much this old place hadn't changed since she'd sneak out with Lacey and Dale and Evan. Kyle would help them get into different places with his valid ID and it made him even more dreamy in her eyes.
"Thinking of a good memory, I hope." Georgia said, sitting next to her.
"Yes," she smiled. "I was still in high school the last time I came here."
"How scandalous Riley," Deann chuckled. "I can't think of you doing such a thing."
"I had a craving for rebellion my senior year and that's how I ended up with Kyle. Look where that got me." She shrugged. "He's sneak my friends and I in and we'd always sneak off before the end of the night."
"How romantic," Deann hummed. "I love me a good bad boy."
"He was always very romantic," she laughed. "I loved that about him. Very unconventional for who tried to pretend he was to everyone but me."
"Okay, that's enough dwelling." Georgia said. "Let's drink!"
She nodded and clapped at that, reaching for the pitcher of alcohol as it was placed in front of her with a glass and she pour herself a full glass and took a sip as she passed the pitcher. She was getting drunk tonight and it was just what she needed.
She was struggling to keep her balance as she grabbed onto Evan after they sang. her heart was beating so fast and she was having the most fun she'd had in such a long time. She knew she was struggling to keep everything in especially after seeing Evan. It was like some sort of outer body experience. Her legs didn't work as she told them. Neither did her hands. Or her fingers. Somewhere, deep inside she knew her brain was sending signals telling her what to do. Whether or not her body was listening was a different story. She could feel herself moving. Can she stop it? She just wanted to sit down and have a drink of water.
"Whoa, Riley, you okay?" Evan asked, helping her sit down.
"Yeah," she laughed. "I just need some water."
"I'm so glad you could come, you were the third on Riley's speed dial." Georgia said. "I'm Georgia Cummings, Riley's boss."
"I'm Evan Parks, Riley's brother in-law." Evan shook her hand. "I'm glad I could be helpful."
"Oh ladies, this is Kyle's baby brother... isn't he cute!" She giggled.
"If she said Kyle was hot... my god what is he?" Kendra cackled.
"I've only met Kyle," Selena whispered. "How was I supposed to know?"
"You should stop by the spa some time. I'll give you the friends and family discount," Deann giggled and took another shot.
That was when she sobered up enough to stand push on Evan's chest. "We better get goin'." She coughed and looked at him. "I'm all sung out any way. I had fun!"
"You know, I don't mind stickin' around." Evan flirted and Deann moved a little closer to him, but she moved him just enough to get him to keep going.
"Okay, goodnight ya'll." She said grabbing her phone and purse and following Evan out.
"No!" Kendra whined. "He's too cute to leave just yet."
She tried to walk down the street with Evan, but her legs were telling me otherwise. They were swaying – left and right. No matter how many steps she took, she was no closer to where she wanted to be. Evan swooped her up and into her car and found her keys somehow. Then all goes dark. Suddenly, she was home. She had no idea how she got there, but somehow she is there and is over Evan's shoulder.
"Come on," he said jimmying with the door until swung open and he walked into her bedroom.
"Oh! Lacey! I'm home." She giggled and swung her arms around as Evan marched on. "Slow down Evan... you're goin' so fast." He plopped her down on the bed and she giggled, feeling her head rush as she threw her purse. "Oh... oh my purse. Can you put it on the dresser Evan."
"Sure thing," he said moving around the room as she reached to pull her shirt off.
God it was hot in here.
He glanced her way and she realized she must've said that out loud without knowing.
"Can I take this off?" She slurred. "I can't breathe with it on."
"Oh no," he fixed her shirt. "You keep that on."
"You're such a party pooper," she gasped and tried to focus on his face.
God he looked like Kyle sometimes in the right lighting. And that's who she wanted. Kyle. her husband. Her knight in shining runaway husband.
"Yeah, that's me." Evan said and slid her heel off.
"Oh I had such a good time tonight..." She explained. "I was singing and dancing with no worries... God it is hot in here. I'm taking this off... just keep it off." She threw her shirt off the bed as Evan touched her and she leaned into it, letting him pick her up and move her to a pillow. "Please just keep that off."
"Oh, God." He muttered. "Let me just move you here... there." He was so in love with her the fact that she was so open to him and grasping onto him, was a dream come true. He'd finally get to be with the girl who he'd lost to his older brother. "You comfy?"
"Hey... hey..." She whispered and grabbed him by his shoulder, pulling him close. "I can't... I can't feel my lips."
"Are you okay?" he asked, knowing exactly what he could do to make sure she felt those again real soon.
"I can't feel 'em." She whispered and then as she looked at him, she saw Kyle. It was just like high school when he'd bring her home drunk all over again. This is exactly what they needed. "Kyle... come here."
And as those words came out of her mouth, her eyes closed and smiled at him in the most pure way he'd ever seen, but it wasn't meant for him. It was meant for his brother. He left after that, turning the light off and leaving, just like his brother did.
