Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away...
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away...
Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gonna stay...
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away...
- Bill Withers
She felt cold. So horribly, horribly, gut-wrenchingly cold. It was the kind of cold that crushed your lungs, shattered your bones, jerked your nerves and made you grind your teeth so hard until they turned into a fine powder—it destroyed all sense of logic and all train of thought, and Anna didn't know if she could endure it any longer.
"Kristoff!" She gasped out, praying that the billowing wind around her would carry her message to the ice harvester. She didn't have much time left and... oh God, she didn't want to go out like this—cold, scared, and unloved.
"Oh Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you."
No, no, Hans was wrong! Someone did love her.
"Go away, Anna."
He had to be wrong! Someone had to love her, surely.
"Anna, what do you know about true love?"
Mama and Papa loved her, didn't they? And behind that cold & distant exterior, Elsa surely did as well, right?
"Then leave."
"How do you know that Elsa even wants to see you?"
"But you should probably go... please..."
"Anna, please! You'll only make it worse!"
"What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop me?"
Or maybe she was wrong.
"Love is..."
Maybe, she was truly incapable of being loved.
"Putting someone else's needs before yours..."
"ANNA!"
"… like you know, how Kristoff brought you back here, to Hans, and left you forever."
Yes, that's right, someone did love her. Someone who preferred the company of reindeer over people, someone who didn't have the best concept of hygiene or personal space, and someone who, despite all his gruffness & social impairments, was a kind, caring, genuine person—someone who was risking his life by running into this fierce some storm her sister had conjured.
Kristoff Bjorgman loved her, even though she couldn't comprehend how or why, Anna sure as anything wanted to find out what that felt like.
'Where are you?' She wondered, feeling the cold spread through her. The tips of her fingers had already turned to solid ice and she could feel the same sensation spreading across her neck & jawline.
The blizzard was draining every ounce of life within her and it wouldn't be too long before she would become completely frozen.
'Mama, Papa... help me...' she prayed, holding her hands tightly her chest. 'Please, I don't want to die.'
The rough winds billowed around her—tugging at her now white locks, pulling at her clothes and knocking her tired form from side-to-side without a shred of mercy. She saw how a gust of wind literally swept poor Olaf off his feet only minutes before, and she sincerely hoped that he was okay wherever he had landed.
'It hurts,' she thought as she felt her chest constrict, struggling from a lack of oxygen. Her lower half felt numb, disorientated, and heavy. 'It hurts so much...'
She would die soon if she didn't keep walking, she knew, and yet... she couldn't find the strength to take another step—everything was too blurry, a thick haze of white, grey & utter hopelessness, and she was too exhausted to keep going.
'Oh God, please don't let this be the end. Not yet. Not when I'm so close. Please...'
And, as if heeding her prayers, the storm suddenly stopped. A powerful gust blew by her and everything cleared; Anna could finally see again. Her newly-turned light blue eyes gazed across the frozen fjord and her heart rate picked up when they landed on the blonde-haired man who was now standing 50ft away from her.
"Kristoff!" She exclaimed happily. He was here! He did come back for her! He did care.
"Anna!" He called back to her, bolting towards her.
She stumbled forward with a smile on her face and hope pulsing through her jagged, cold veins because he would kiss her, thaw her heart and she could finally realise what it means to be loved...
*SHING!*
However, that foolish & naïve notion vanished within an instant when she heard the sound of something harsh and metallic ring through the stagnant air, forcing her to glance to her left, and she was filled with horror as she realised the cause of the sound: Prince Hans (that treacherous jerk!) was approaching Elsa—who was, for some reason, hunched over on the ground and appeared completely oblivious to her surroundings—with a sword in his hands and a dangerous motive within his twisted mind.
"Now all that's left is to kill Elsa..." His cruel, callous words rang in her ears at that exact moment. "… and bring back summer."
"Elsa...!" Anna gasped out, frost tightening around her throat.
She was close—the ice would consume her at any second—but that was the least of her concerns right now.
'No, no, this can't be happening!' She thought, fear flooding through her entire being, and yet this time it was not for herself—it was instead for her sister. 'Run, Elsa, run! Why aren't you moving?! RUN!'
Oh how she wanted to cry out loud; to call out her sister's name, to warn her, to tell her to run (did she not know of her impeding death?)—however, with her constricted vocals, Anna was powerless to intervene.
The Princess turned back around to see Kristoff, who was still running towards her and pondered briefly if there would be enough time for him to kiss her and for her to then rush over to protect her sister; however, he was still too far away and it didn't take a scholar to know that he wouldn't get to her in time and she realised the heavy choice she needed to make in that moment.
It was either save herself, or save Elsa—as simple as that.
'I'm sorry, Kristoff...' She thought solemnly, looking at him once last time. 'For making you come all this way for nothing...'
And so, without hesitation, Anna pushed out whatever remained of her strength as she rushed to her sister's side, praying to God that she would be able to intervene before it was too late to save Elsa—to let her use her final seconds to put her life to good use before she would become solid ice for all eternity.
'Thank you for coming back and showing me that there's someone out there who cares about me.' She continued to muse as she ran towards her destination; her chest hurting in a way she had never experienced, air struggling to reach to her lungs and her vision starting to blur. Not much longer now... 'For looking past my status & all my flaws, showing me that I can be loved... no one's ever done that for me before, so I thank you.'
It should have saddened her—the thought that she would never get to experience love and joy and romance—but, strangely, it didn't. Instead, it fuelled her entire being, renewing her in a way she hadn't felt since she knew that she had to follow Elsa and make amends, giving her the strength to push through the cold & pain piercing through her, and filling her with courage she never thought even existed. It was enough for her to step in front of Hans' falling sword—throwing her hand upwards—waiting for the sharp steel to cut through her flesh & bone (hopefully, her flesh would become solid ice before then so she wouldn't have to feel the pain) without a single shred of despair, fear or doubt.
"NO!" She cried with her last breath, practically begging the Prince to spare her sibling.
'Kill me if you want,' she thought staring at his crazed expression. 'Just please, Hans, don't hurt her...'
If she had to die so young, then so be it. If Anna had to die so that Elsa would live, then she would gladly except her fate. Because even though they had been fallen out for way too long and had many unresolved issues, a life without her sister was a life not worth living in her mind. Sure, they had their differences and they both messed up, and yeah, Anna had often wished she had a sister more like herself, but, in the end, it didn't matter who was right or wrong, or who had more tact & grace, or was the lonelier one growing up—Elsa was still her big sister. Her sister. Her Queen, and she wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
She loved Elsa regardless, and, to Anna, that was much more important than her desire to be loved.
"Love is..."
And it was because of that simple realisation that Anna could once again hear the wise words of Olaf echoing through her head, giving her a new understanding (love, of course!) as her body locked into place, her vision went dark, her limbs went numb and the cold finally engulfed her, bringing her into a blissful oblivion.
"Putting someone else's needs before yours..."
"Your Highness...? Your Highness...?"
Even though Anna knew she was being addressed, it did not register that she should acknowledge it. Her mind was currently too focused of the sight before her—the harbour port which should be bustling with life, travellers, and precious cargo at this time of the year was now dismal & barely used, which was no surprise since about seventy-five percent of the fjord was still frozen, rendering nearly all of the ships completely useless.
"But wow, am I so ready for this change!"
Nine months ago she had looked at the harbour with joy & optimism; hoisting herself to the roof with boundless enthusiasm, but now all she felt was exhaustion & dread.
How ironic.
Still, if it hadn't been for Kristoff's brilliant idea to get ice harvesters to break apart the ice to open up a path leading out of the fjord, Arendelle would have fallen into complete ruin—at least it was one thing Anna could be grateful for without feeling like needing to devour an entire box of Belgium chocolates while wallowing in self-pity.
"Princess Anna...?"
"'Cause for the first time in forever—there'll be music, there'll be light..."
It was her own fault everything had turned out the way it did. She had expected too much, too soon, and now she was paying the price for her foolishness.
What would her parents say? They'd be disappointed, no doubt. Then again, hadn't they always been? Between her compulsive bouts of clumsiness, excessive awkward ramblings, poor academic records, and lack of every trait required of a royal subject—Anna imagined that the late King & Queen would have been very hesitant to leave their title to her, even though she was the spare.
A useless spare...
"Anna."
And just like that, she snapped back to reality. Flicking her teal eyes to the direction of the person who called out her name without any sort of honorific and was met by the face of Kristoff, who was looking at her with concern; more so than was appropriate from that of a friend and certainly that of a commoner, but with everything that had occurred these many months since Elsa's disappearance—Anna appreciated (and desperately needed) his presence—because it reminded her that she wasn't entirely alone in her new-found role as ruler of Arendelle.
Unfortunately, it also reminded her that they weren't alone (much to her embarrassment) in her late father's study and so she turned her focus onto Kai & several of the council members who had been trying to grab her attention for the past few minutes.
"I'm sorry," she apologised sheepishly. "What were we talking about again?"
Kai looked as though he were about to lightly scold her for her absent-mindedness—like he always did when she wasn't focusing (a year ago he would have)—however, he must have deemed it unnecessary and repeated himself.
'Of course, he won't,' her mind scolded instead, doing the job for the head butler. 'Everything's changed now; you're not some ditzy, little girl who still thinks that life is a beautiful fairytale and that marrying a Prince leads to true love, or self-worth, or happily ever after. You're their ruler, their leader—you carry the burden of duty for the sake of your people; just like Papa, Mama, & Elsa. You can't assume that everyone will treat you the same just because you're still the same clumsy girl who rambles on excessively— to them, you're not that person any more—you're more now...'
"We've just received word from the King & Queen of Corona," Kai informed her. "They wished to inform you that they've just welcomed the latest ship of Arendellian citizens and that they're all doing well."
"Thank goodness," Anna breathed out, relief washing over her. It had always worried her whenever they sent a ship on a voyage to Corona—her parents always flashed in her mind when she did so—but with rations depleting at an alarming rate, poor economy, and mounting tension between Arendelle and Weaselton; things were looking bleak and it was only sensible to offer her citizens the opportunity for refuge with an all-expenses paid trip to the far more prosperous kingdom.
"They also send their best wishes to you," the butler continued and then presented a sealed envelope. "And for you to be ever so kind to give this to Princess Rapunzel whenever you see her next."
Grabbing the letter out of Kai's gloved hand, Anna merely replied; "I'll be sure to see that she gets it."
Glancing at the grandfather clock to her left, she noted that it was just a little before eight AM, which meant that the Princess of Corona would, no doubt, be currently in the kitchen baking with the fellow servants. She remembered how affronted they had been at the beginning, allowing royalty into the kitchen to do something that they themselves could do, however, Rapunzel always insisted that she was accustomed to doing so in her life long before ever becoming a royal and that she was all too eager to help the people of Arendelle in any way possible.
That was Anna's favourite thing about the perky brunette; Rapunzel wasn't above doing menial tasks or labour in order to help others in need. She would visit the citizens everyday bearing warm drinks & food for the less unfortunate—offering them a warmth that was all too rare nowadays—whilst her husband, Prince Eugene, would visit the local orphanage everyday to ensure they were doing well, but also to read to them and take them outside to play, doing his utmost best to keep them blissfully ignorant of the ever-growing despair looming over them.
That was the greatest part of the royal couple in Anna's mind—they genuinely cared about the people of Arendelle, and Anna couldn't think of any two people better as the future King & Queen of Corona. Though, she knew deep down that she would never be able to repay them for all their efforts. She was forever indebted to them.
"There's also another thing that needs to discussed." Kai spoke up, his voice grave & somewhat hesitant, and the Princess automatically knew where this conversation was heading. "It concerns the matter of Prince Hans..."
Anna sighed out, her assumptions correct.
"What now?" She groaned aloud. Yes, she was aware how how horribly impolite she sounded and, yes, neither Gerda or her mother would have approved of such brash behaviour, but whenever it involved the Prince of the Southern Isles all decorum she might have ever possibly have had possessed would get thrown out the window in an instant.
"Several of his brothers have sent letters to us, requesting his return," Kai explained. "They feel he's spent enough time here and they worry for his safety should the tension between Arendelle & Wesealton escalate."
"And we've told them that we can't send Hans back until we've put an end to this winter!" Anna replied stubbornly, frustrated that they still couldn't grasp the concept. "As much as I'd like to send that treacherous jerk packing; he's good with the people—they like him, they trust him, they even look up to him. If we send him back to the Southern Isles, the citizens will lose hope. We've already had to send a dozen fleet ships to both Corona and the Southern Isles; friends & families have been forced to become separated, and morale is low, but Hans and Rapunzel have always managed to provide a beacon of hope by their constant presence. If he were to leave..."
Anna shuddered, thinking of the possibilities, none of which were pleasant. As much as she disliked Hans ever since he revealed his true colours, he still managed to keep his "Noble, kind Prince" persona alive & well to keep lulling the citizens into a sense of security. He had even been able to convince most that Elsa was not an evil tyrant who planned on leaving Arendelle to bask in an eternal winter, but a scared young woman unaware of her limits, and that summer would eventually return—and for that, Anna was grateful.
Another irony to laugh at.
"I don't want to think about it," she simply finished. "Anything else?"
"The crew has returned from their expedition..." Kai once again started, before hesitating, and Anna held her breath, daring to hope. "Unfortunately, they still haven't been able to find any trace of Queen Elsa... my apologies, Princess Anna."
The air in the room grew sombre, more so than usual, and Anna knew that everyone could sense her distress—all present looking at her with gazes of sympathy—however, she refused to break down in tears.
At least until they were out of sight & sound anyway.
"I see..." she said calmly, holding her composure—Elsa would have been so proud. "If that's everything then you all may be excused. Thank you."
She turned her focus onto the harbour again as the sounds of quiet murmurs, the shuffling of feet, and, finally, (and it couldn't be any sooner, because she really didn't know how much longer she could hold back) the soft closing of the door met her ears.
All her life, Anna hated closing her bedroom door and always kept it open (despite her parents' protest against it as she grew older) because she always wanted Elsa to know that she was welcome to visit any time she pleased—after all, love was an open door and her sister would never come if she kept it shut—and, yet, now the Princess found a certain solace & comfort in it, one that she had never understood before, and realised that maybe this was why Elsa always had her door closed.
Silence engulfed the study room as despair and helplessness returned to her in full swing for the umpteenth time since they started the search party, and yet Anna still held it in—not quite ready to let it go. Because once she did, she would cry (and cry and cry) until she collapsed onto the ground as a crumpled mess without an ounce of energy, nor the drive to continue playing the role of an impervious ruler for the rest of the day.
"Anna..."
"I told everyone that they were excused." She tried to sound harsh as she spoke, but her voice was too choked up to make an actual impact. "That includes you too, Kristoff."
"And like I've told you from the last time and the time before that and every other time; I'm not going anywhere." Kristoff replied firmly, yet with a tenderness rarely shown to anyone else but her, and because of that, Anna threw her face into her open palms as she finally burst into violent tears.
She shouldn't have been all that surprised that the scouts had returned with nothing—after all, the world was a big place with many unexplored territories and her sister was a shrewd, reclusive person (if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be)—but it still never failed to bring disappointment and unbearable heartache at the constant reminder that she had once again failed to save & protect her last remaining family member.
Times like this the young ruler would often ponder on how the King & Queen of Corona could manage to endure this agony for eighteen years, when she herself was losing her mind only after a few months.
'It's because they never gave up believing that their daughter would return home one day...' Her mind replied gently as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind in a makeshift hug; providing the Princess with a warmth she forgot ever existed, and she lost all strength to continue standing—luckily, Kristoff could bare her weight with ease—as she continued to sob.
'You need to believe that Elsa will come home too.'
She wanted to believe, (oh God, did she want to believe that!) but, with every day that had come and gone, Anna found herself rapidly losing hope, and she didn't know how much longer she could hold on before she would have to accept the very grim (and, unfortunately, very real) possibility that Elsa was gone and that she was never coming back.
'No, don't think like that!' She scolded herself, her optimistic side desperately trying to reassure her. 'Everything might seem bleak, but Elsa is out there and we will find her. After all, look outside the window; the storm still rages on, and, as long as it continues, you know she's still alive.'
Anna continued crying for who knows how long, while the ice-harvester continued to hold her—not saying anything at all (he never did, because he knew that there were no words that could ease her heartache)—and she appreciated it, until she finally got it all out of her system and found herself being able to stand on her own again.
"Thank you," she said as Kristoff released his grip on her.
Turning around to face him, Anna gave him a faint smile (not all caring if her face was red & splotchy & so freakin' unattractive) and he returned the gesture. Seeing it made her heart skip a beat and made her feel all warm inside, and yet, at the same time, her guilt kicked in and she wondered how much longer they could continue avoiding issue of their ambiguous relationship.
"It was nothing." He replied gently, kindness seeping through his voice and Anna felt undeserving of it.
Kritsoff cared for her, she could see that now, but with everything that had been going on in these past nine months, the Princess couldn't bring herself to take the initiative. It wasn't that she didn't want to, nor that she didn't care for him; because she did (how could she not after everything he'd done, everything he'd endured for her?) but at this point of time, finding her sister and saving her kingdom were Anna's top priorities.
She didn't have the luxury of skipping out on council briefings just to go reindeer riding on Sven & Kristoff's brand new sleigh, or getting to have picnics with Olaf and listen to his musings on what summer must feel like—she had responsibilities now and an unbelievable pressure pushing down on her.
Every night she would toss & turn in her sleep as she struggled with the decisions she'd made and the consequences that were most likely to follow; leaving her emotionally exhausted. Anna could only wonder if this was exactly how Elsa must have felt after her enthronement, and that led her to depressing musings as she mulled over her ever expanding list of regrets.
'She was only eighteen when she had to take reign,' she thought remorsefully. 'The same age as me... I wonder what went through her mind? Was she filled with the same amount of fear and dread that I've felt?'
Elsa had seemed so cool & unfazed at the time that Anna had pondered over how her sister could remain so calm and collected, when she herself would have been a flustered mess, (which she had been during her first council meeting and she was grateful Kai had stepped in when she had felt herself become overwhelmed, otherwise it would have been an outright disaster...) but after reigning for several weeks, she had come to the realisation that Elsa had most definitely been, without a single doubt, scared out of her mind and that every word she might have ever said or every action she might have ever have taken was most likely just all a façade to cover up her own issues.
After all, not only had Elsa had to deal with this new responsibility and ensure the state of their kingdom, she had also been forced to continue to struggle with powers she had no control over, still been burdened by her grief, and forced to avoid the last remaining member of her family in a vain attempt to protect them from harm—even at the expense of her own suffering. The more Anna thought about it, the more determined it made her to find her sister—to wrap her arms tightly around the fair-haired woman and apologise to her for choosing to be so selfishly ignorant all these years, but also to reassure & promise her that she would never again be allowed to bear her burdens alone.
Because they were sisters, they were family, and Anna sure as Hell wasn't going to give up on that just because of a few little obstacles (even if they were actually the size of mountains...) standing in her path.
"So, what now?" Kristoff asked after a minute of silence; obviously guessing that Anna would not be further initiating the conversation.
Anna knew that he was looking to her for guidance, while at the same time trying to not make her feel pressured or overwhelmed. For someone who could be considered crass, it was quite surprising for her to discover that Kristoff was actually quite sensitive when it came to other people's feelings (at least for people he cared for...)
"We give the fleet a week's rest to allow them the chance to spend time with their families and replenish their stock," Anna informed him, even though Kristoff knew that that would be her exact answer even before she said it—as it had been every other time he or anyone else had asked her that. "And then they'll be deployed again."
"Anna..." he sighed out, his brown eyes glazed in sadness.
"I know what you're going to say," she replied, holding her hand up to stop him. "And I'd really rather you'd not. Not today of all days... please..."
The topic of Elsa was always a touchy subject between them and was often left untouched as the blonde male believed Anna was too emotionally invested in every expedition, that she allowed herself to become too hopeful of a positive outcome only to be disappointed again & again, that she had to accept the fact that Elsa was most likely never coming back, and that she needed to move on with her life, to which the Princess would reply scathingly that he was too negative because he didn't know what it was like to "Have a family"—a very low blow, she would admit—and that it was none of his business on how she coped, or how she dictated her life.
Their last fight had gotten so heated up that it had escalated to the point of Anna refusing to talk to Kristoff for three days straight. She hadn't forgiven him until he had come to her door with a bag of carrots and a heartfelt apology; a somewhat unromantic gesture compared to the usual selection of roses or chocolates, but she had appreciated the effort nonetheless and had found herself unable to retain her grudge.
"I won't," he spoke cautiously, obviously wanting to refrain from having the same argument again. "But you have to understand that even if you do find Elsa, what do you hope to achieve? You said it yourself, she doesn't know how to control her powers and even if the scouts do manage to find her, there's a big possibility she'll flee again. During her last moments spent here she was brandished as a traitor and sentenced to execution—do you really think she'll just allow anyone to get close enough to her after that? And, if, by some miracle, the fleet did manage to bring her back to Arendelle—how do you think the citizens will react? Hans might have convinced the good majority of them that Queen Elsa is a victim of unfortunate circumstances, but it won't mean much if she can't end the winter."
"Well it's okay, you can just unfreeze it."
"No, I can't! I-I don't know how!"
"Sure you can, I know you can!"
Although she wanted nothing more than to just ignore what she had just heard, Kristoff had made some valid points, and Anna couldn't fault him for his bluntness—it was blatantly obvious, even to her, that there would be many challenges involved for finding Elsa and returning her to Arendelle. And yes, there was still a very good chance that there might be wide-spread panic (or worse, a revolt) should the Queen be unable to reverse her magic. However, the young Princess wasn't too concerned with that, because she knew indefinitely that her elder sibling would be able to break the spell.
"So you're not at all afraid of her?"
"Why would I be?"
Even though the others may have doubted or feared the Queen Elsa's powers, Anna had never for one moment, since re-discovering her sister's abilities, believed that Elsa was a monster nor that she couldn't reverse this winter.
"Are you sure you can trust her? I don't want you getting hurt."
"She's my sister. She would never hurt me."
Maybe the young Princess was placing too much hope into her older sister and making herself an easy target, but, ever since she was a little girl, Anna had always looked up to Elsa; for her beauty, her grace, her intelligence, her composure, her kindness, her organisational skills—the list was endless—so it was only natural that she would have the utmost faith that Elsa could thaw the land.
"I get it now..." Anna muttered quietly to Kristoff through clenched teeth the moment she regained her senses, shivering horribly in his arms as the storm surrounded them. "It's love... love will thaw."
After all, if it could thaw a frozen heart, then there was no doubt love could also be used to put an end to this cursed winter.
She just needed to convince Elsa of the same thing.
'That is,' she thought with a frown. 'As soon as I find her.'
"I understand, I really do. So much loss and despair has occurred because of this entire disaster and even though I don't like it, the people are entitled to resent us for it—but whether they like it or not, we need Elsa. Only she can put an end to this winter and restore the kingdom. If not..."
'Arendelle will fall,' Anna finished in her head, not daring to say the words out loud. 'And it will be all my fault...'
Of course, if she had actually said that, she would never hear the end of it from the ice-harvester, because he would insist that she wasn't at fault for this whole disaster (even though she was) and that she had no reason to continue punishing herself. Unfortunately, Anna had also had to hear that exact same thing from both Rapunzel & Gerda many times before, and, although she appreciated their kind words; she sorely wished they would stop spouting out the same nonsense when, in actuality, it really was her fault.
After all, it was because of her that their parents decided to close the gates and confine their eldest daughter to an empty room filled with nothing but the cold, loneliness, and total despair.
It was because of her that her big sister lost that carefree grin and bright sparkle in her eyes, and instead donned a persona of indifference; forced to believe she needed to shut out her heart from everyone's reach because it was in her best interests.
It was because of her that Elsa had been driven to her breaking point; causing Elsa herself to cast aside her composure & self-restraint—making her lash out, expose, and humiliate herself—on one of the most important night's of her life and for her to be subjected to the hundreds of terrified cries & fearful eyes of her people before being called a monster by a despicable two-faced old fool.
It was because of her that her sister had fled to the North Mountain to live a life of isolation, thinking it was her only solution, and caused the land to fall into an eternal winter.
It was because of her and her lack of tact that had led Elsa to have her panic attack and accidentally striking her, Anna, with her magic and reinforcing her belief that she had remain alone, thus once again shutting herself away.
It was because of her that her beloved horse, Kjekk, had become frightened during their expedition, making him bolt back towards the castle and alert Hans & the others to Elsa's location; hence resulting in an ambush from the Duke's guards which lead to Elsa's imprisonment.
It was because of her that she had trusted Hans so easily after only knowing him for less than a day—for having foolishly believed it was "True love"—and not realising that he was simply using her as a tool to get to Elsa and claim Arendelle as his own.
It was because of her naivety, shock, and heartache that the Prince had been able to lock her in the study and deceive the council, the Ambassadors, and the castle's soldiers that had she died by Elsa's hand and that Elsa had to be be executed (by her very own guards, no less) for her treason.
It was because of her that her sister hadn't been able to contain her fear and had escaped her prison to venture into the wild blizzard outside; alone, frightened, and vulnerable.
It was because of her that Elsa, by Hans' words, had so easily faltered and collapsed to the ground in defeat; having been overwhelmed by her grief.
It was because of her that Elsa had been wide open to the Prince's incoming attack—too engrossed in her pain to notice anything else around her; thus totally oblivious to the falling blade ready to sever her head and splatter her blood.
It was because of her not thawing fast enough that she hadn't been prevent her sister from fleeing again and reassure Elsa that she was loved and that love was the key to restoring the land.
And it was because of her that Arendelle was still suffering on the brink of hunger & disparity while Elsa was still out there, somewhere, lost, alone, and believing that she was responsible for her sister's death—and just the thought of that was enough to make Anna feel sick with helplessness.
'That's why we have to find her,' she reminded herself, determination flowing through her veins. 'It's not just about restoring the kingdom and bringing it back to its former glory; it's about saving Elsa as well.'
The search for the Queen had been nothing short of time-consuming, arduous and extremely frustrating ever since she had thawed, but Anna wouldn't give up—she was desperate to bring her sister back home and she would take any means necessary to ensure her return.
Because God her help if she lost the last remainder of her family...
"I get it..." Kristoff spoke softly, in a voice that sounded so warm & reassuring and yet so sad at same time. "I might not like it, but I get it... it's just... I don't want you getting hurt."
The young ruler noticed her eyes beginning to get misty, remembering that stupid jerk of a Prince had said that as well before she had departed from the castle for her grand journey, however, Anna quickly shook away any negative feelings that might have be lingering and told herself that the ice harvester wasn't like that.
After all, he more than understood the difficulty of the situation she was in and would pitch in whenever possible—whether it would be with ideas, encouraging & supporting her, volunteering for manual labour, offering valuable insight to the search scouts, or even keeping her from delivering another black eye to Prince Hans—he was always offering to lighten the load weighing down on her small shoulders and always placing them easily onto his own broad ones without a single ounce of hesitation, nor a complaint; and it often left the young Princess to wonder on what she could have ever done to have received such a great person in her life or if she could ever repay him for all his efforts.
'Silly girl,' Anna's mind chastised lightly. 'He doesn't do it because he's expecting something in return. He's doing this because he loves you.'
Yes, that's right—Kristoff Bjorgman loved her. Anna could see it as clearly now as one could see the sky on a cloudless day, and yet...
"Oh Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you."
… a part of her wondered if it was actually true, or if she was deluding herself once again.
After all, who would want to love her...? She wasn't beautiful, or refined, or graceful, or anything at all like what a real Princess should be. Sometimes Anna wondered if perhaps she was adopted because she most certainly didn't have the calm composure that her mother had had, or the sharp wit of her father, or even the same eye colour as Elsa—to her, she stood out from the rest of her family like a sore thumb. At times she would even imagine that in actuality she was a baby who had been found abandoned on the side of the road by the trolls, who had decided to give her to the King & Queen as a token of good will.
Of course, the story was rather far-fetched—but it always seemed rather plausible in Anna's mind.
"I know, Kristoff, and I appreciate your concern, but I can't give up. I did once before and that one was of my biggest mistakes; I'm not about to do it again."
A faint smile appeared on Kristoff's face, surprising Anna slightly. "Elsa's really lucky to have you as a sister."
Although she appreciated his comment, the young ruler couldn't help but think otherwise. After all, Elsa was still out there alone & suffering because she wasn't out there looking for her herself. If she was, then Elsa, without a doubt, would have been back home by now, however, Anna knew she couldn't leave Arendelle on regular basis—Kai didn't have enough authority to make big decisions nor challenge the council's authority, Rapunzel & Eugene were still too inexperienced and unaccustomed to the kingdom's laws, customs, and regulations, and Hans...
"What...?" She looked on, stunned, wondering if she had heard correctly; staring at the Prince as both cold and confusion crawled throughout her body. "Y-you said you did..."
As if she'd ever leave him in charge again...
"I'll head over to the docks and inform the Captain," the ice harvester spoke up. "Do you need me to get you anything? A hot chocolate perhaps? I know you like it with cinnamon and marshmallows."
The young leader smiled in response, touched by Kristoff's thoughtfulness, and she was reminded once again of just how lucky she was to have someone as kind as him in her life—and just how undeserving she was of his mere presence.
"Thank you for the offer," she replied evenly, "But I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" He asked, concern marring his features. "You look a little cold—you want me to head down and get more wood to add to the fireplace?"
"No, I'm fine, really—you've already got enough on your plate." Anna once again replied as she shook her head, hoping to ease her companion's worries. "Besides, I need to give this letter to Rapunzel, otherwise I'll never hear the end of it."
"O-okay, but if you need anything, let me know—I'm here for you." He looked at with such sincerity that the young Princess almost wanted to fall into his strong arms so she could break down and cry again until every heartache, scar, and wound she had ever endured was healed and nothing more than a bunch of vague memories.
"Thank you." Were the only words she could muster before she watched him walk out of the study, softly closing the door behind him, leaving her alone to deal with her lingering guilt.
'It's not fair...' Her conscious whispered, reprimanding her for the millionth time, and Anna promptly clenched her hands & shut her eyes tight as she felt them stinging with tears of shame.
'You know how he feels and yet you refuse to acknowledge it because you're too afraid to admit you don't love him back. You're just using him because you're afraid,' the voice continued, revealing to the Princess her deepest, darkest fears.
She bit her lip tightly, hoping the pain would momentarily distract her from the fact of just how much of a horrible person she was and how she really wasn't any better than Hans; manipulating another's emotions just for her own means.
'You're afraid that he'll someday realise this and wonder what he ever saw in you. And then that he'd leave you—just like your parents & just like Elsa—and then you'll have to continue living here in this cold palace you're forced to call home until the end of your life; spending the rest of those days resenting yourself for never being good enough for your family's affection, and why it was that the one time that you actually had the chance fall in love—with someone who actually cares for you—you decided to toss the opportunity aside to instead hunt down your sister, who had never been nothing but cold & distant towards you and everyone else your entire life?'
Anna wished she could tell Kristoff what he needed to hear—what he deserved to hear—and yet, the Princess couldn't bring herself to say the words. She wanted to love him (oh how she really, really, really did!) but at this point in time, after her fiasco with Hans and everything else currently going on, Anna couldn't bring herself to reciprocate the ice-harvester's obvious feelings.
Not now, not yet, because right now, her heart still had ice in it (cold & stiff, but still beating, if only barely) and it only had enough love for one person—Elsa.
Walking down the halls of the palace filled Anna with a familiar sense of melancholy; a reminder of a childhood spent behind closed gates, locked up in a place she was supposed to call home, even though she had wanted nothing more to flee.
She had spent many hours like this throughout her life— just wandering around the halls aimlessly, trying to find anyone who'd be kind enough to grant her some company, even if it was just for a few brief minutes. Her parents were always too busy with their duties or tending to Elsa to spend much time with her, and none of the staff (or any of the remaining staff, that is) had had any children her age that she could have played with, so more often than not, Anna would end up in the stables tending to her beloved horse, or outside in the gardens feeding the ducks.
It was an incredibly lonely time for the red-haired Princess, and yet, she considered it a blessing compared to what Elsa had had to go through.
Shortly after her disappearance, Anna had been desperate for answers and Kristoff had taken her to see Grandpabbi again, hoping he might provide a solution. What she hadn't expected was for the old troll to reveal the truth: that she had known about her sister's abilities, but her memories of it had been altered at her father's command.
Pretty safe to say, she was livid. Anna had never felt so much anger, hurt, and hatred towards anyone else (not even Hans!) like she had in that moment (hearing of her parents' betrayal made the Southern Isles' Prince seem like a saint in comparison) and it had taken all of her willpower not to scream and start breaking things, or merely throttle the troll leader with her bare hands.
Oh yes, she had been furious with him too—how dare he steal her memories! They were hers! He had no right as much as touch them!
Kristoff had paled at the murderous expression spread across her face and she had no doubt that the trolls had been able to sense her fury as well, however, much to her surprise, none of them had intervened. Perhaps they had been biding their time until she did something that they would have deemed as threatening, having believed that their fault, or whatever it had been, hadn't concern her in the slightest—she could've taken Marshmallow on with a fork and still have claimed an easy victory at that point.
After all, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Grandpabbi had continued on to mention he had, inadvertently, frightened the young Elsa by warning her that although her power was beautiful, it was also dangerous and she would need to control it, and that fear would be her enemy, which had prompted the King to decide right-there-and-then on the spot that their only alternative would be to limit Elsa's contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone.
That's when Anna had snapped.
It had taken the strength of Kristoff and five grown trolls to hold the young Princess back from doing something she might have regretted; her vocals, however, had been unrestrained and free to express her gratitude.
"You stupid troll! Do you have any idea of what you've done?!" Anna all but screamed. Had she been of rational thought at the time, the young royal would have been thoroughly mortified by her brash behaviour. "Thanks to your efforts, Elsa has been living in fear for the past thirteen years! And now?! Now she's gone!"
"Anna stop!" Kristoff pleaded, desperate to diffuse the situation. "Please calm down!"
Even though, in her opinion, her anger had been completely justified, a small part of Anna felt both a mixture of guilt & shame for acting like this in front of the ice-harvester's family (and, quite possibly, her future in-laws...)
After all, he'd never introduced anyone else to them before and here she was throwing it back in his face by acting like a raving lunatic.
"This isn't going to get us anywhere!" He added, trying to appeal to her common sense.
Even though she wanted to comply with her companion's request, Anna was unable stop herself. She was just so angry. This whole time she had never understood why Elsa had withdrawn herself from her life, or why she had shut everyone out; but now that she did, the Princess wanted nothing more than to lash out at the ones responsible.
"Because of you, Elsa stopped talking to me! I had to grow up alone believing that she didn't love me!" She exclaimed, pain clawing away at her heart, bringing up past wounds that she had never acknowledged and those that had never been given a chance to heal—raw & open and all infecting every ounce of her self-worth.
To his credit, the troll said nothing as Anna continued, taking the brunt of her anger without a single complaint or sort of retaliation.
"It's because of you that she always wore those stupid gloves even in the middle of summer when it was sweltering! It's all your fault our family became divided! It's all because of you...!"
A sob escaped the Princess' lips and she felt like she couldn't breathe any more—it all become too much for her as she screwed her eyes tight; exhaustion & heartache beginning to overwhelm her.
"It's because of you... I had to bury our parents alone..."
She felt the trolls finally relinquish their hold on her and herself slipping into the comfort of Kristoff's warm arms, holding her carefully & gently as she fell apart for what would be the first of many times. She mourned for her broken family and her missing sister, she grieved for their gloomy childhood and for all the lost possibilities of a happier life, and she cursed God for being given the life she was dealing with now.
Anna didn't cry a lot, but whenever she did, it always involved her family or those dearest to her—especially when Elsa was involved. Because, for the red-haired Princess, Elsa was the important person in her world. Without her, Anna didn't know how to live.
They might have been estranged, but that didn't mean that she loved her big sister any less.
Eventually, Anna's tears dried up and she could form coherent thoughts & sentences again. She wiped her eyes and regained her composure, however, she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, too afraid to see everyone's expressions—no doubt, they would all be disappointed by her erratic behaviour.
"I'm sorry," she apologised, mortified beyond belief. "I was out of line. Forgive me."
Even though Grandpabbi was somewhat responsible for directing her parents to the path they had taken, it was the King & Queen themselves who decided to walk down it—they were the ones who she really wanted to yell at, but they were gone now and she had no one else to take out all of her hurt & anger on, except an elderly troll who'd been nothing but accommodating towards her.
"No, I should be the one apologising. Please forgive me, Your Highness." Grandpabbi spoke, sounding somewhat remorseful.
Opening her eyes, Anna noticed her vision was still swimming and she wondered how pathetic she must have looked.
"When I gave Queen Elsa my warning, I could already see the path your parents were going to take and I should have done more to intervene. I saw their fear as clear as day, and yet, instead of telling them to conquer it, I gave them more incentive."
Anna had expected to feel some sort of sick joy to hear his guilt, but instead it made her feel worse.
"Queen Elsa only felt fear because we adults instilled it into her. She was shaken by what had happened to you, but if I had explained to her that the love around her was what she needed focus on instead of her fear, you both might have lived very different lives."
There was something the Princess wanted to ask, but she was too frightened to project it. However, she knew it needed to be said out loud, otherwise, she would surely lose her mind and all sense of hope.
"Will I..." Anna stammered out, bracing herself for the worst. "Will I ever see Elsa again...?"
"You will, but it won't be easy." Grandpabbi answered promptly, much to her relief. "Right now your sister's heart has been filled with pain and despair, as you can tell by the state of Arendelle."
That was true, when Elsa had disappeared the first time the skies were still clear and the sun would shine upon the land, but now the skies were a dark grey and laden with heavy clouds. It had been snowing non-stop ever since, however, it hadn't been a heavy snowfall—just a light sprinkling, like a sun-shower; which was a blessing considering the massive blizzard they had endured a few days ago. Anna could only hope it wouldn't get violent any time soon.
"Elsa has spent her whole life withdrawing and shutting herself off from others believing it was in their best interests." The old troll continued and, once again, Anna agreed with the troll, reminded by how Elsa fled to the North Mountain and refused to come back to Arendelle because she deemed herself to be dangerous. It was rather ironic that for someone who had only met her sister once, Grandpabbi could understand the fair-haired Queen better than Anna had ever hoped to in these past thirteen years.
"I'm sorry, this is all true, but what has this got to do with finding Elsa?" Anna inquired, trying to be as remotely polite as possible. Yes, she understood she was pushing her luck by addressing him so rashly, but her sister was out there somewhere, alone & heartbroken, and nothing was being achieved by this current conversation.
"What I'm trying to say is that you won't be able to find her—not in the state she's in." He replied which felt like a blow to the gut for the Princess.
"B-but you said I would see her again." She stammered out, confused and shaken by his blunt response.
"You will," he spoke, trying to be reassuring. "However, it won't be any time soon. She needs time to reflect and heal."
"But she can't if she doesn't know that I'm still alive!" Anna argued back, worry & hysteria reigniting her tired frame. She pulled herself away from Kristoff's warm arms, stepping forward, and with a hand placed over her beating heart, she said desperately with wide eyes, "Don't you see? She needs me! Please, you have to tell me how to find her! I'm begging you!"
"I'm sorry, Your Highness," the elder apologised. He looked at her with such a genuine sadness, and yet, it did nothing to appease the Princess' stress. "But there's nothing we can do right now except wait."
"I spent thirteen years waiting for a door to open when I should have opened it myself." She replied regretfully, scorning herself for never doing so. "I've spent too much time waiting and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I'm not waiting any more. I can't wait any more! Arendelle needs her, I need her! If you're not willing to help, then I'll find Elsa myself."
She turned and stormed off, despite the ice-harvester's protests, yet she was quickly halted when Grandpabbi called out to her.
"I might not be able to help you with what you want," he began cautiously, "But I might be able to help you with what you need."
Curious, the Princess turned back around and slowly approached the older troll, who was currently motioning to someone to come forward. She watched as one boulder rolled towards them and revealed himself—a young troll with earnest eyes—filling Anna with confusion & wonder. What on earth was Grandpabbi planning?
"While I may not be able to undo the pain I've inflicted upon you and your sister," he started before gesturing to the other troll. "This young one here, however, can reverse some of the damage."
"What are you saying?" She asked. He couldn't be implying...?
"Yes, he can restore your memories to their natural form," Grandpabbi answered simply. "So even though you'll still be missing your sister, you can at least remember her."
Anna looked at both of the trolls with utter astonishment. "Wait, you can do that?!"
Grandpabbi simply nodded while the younger troll looked on, however, both were adorning the warmest smiles imaginable and the Princess felt herself suddenly become overwhelmed with a mad rush of joy, excitement, and most importantly: hope.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" She exclaimed gratefully, feeling as though her heart would burst from elation. Even if she wouldn't be finding her sister any time soon, the young woman would settle for memories in the meantime. "You don't know how much this means to me!"
Grandpabbi simply continued to smile in response whilst the younger troll stepped closer and held out his open hand.
"Can I have your hand please?" He asked politely and Anna instantly obliged to his simple request. Once he locked his thick fingers around her thin gloved ones, he gestured for her to crouch down to his eye level and she quickly complied. She watched in fascination as both of his hands started to glow a beautiful, glittery blue tinge and she noticed, much to her surprise, just how incredibly drowsy she felt all of a sudden—had she been tired this entire time and had not noticed until now?
'I could sure go for a nap right about now...' she mused before stumbling to the ground. It seemed all those late nights & early mornings spent searching, organising, consulting, and endless worrying had finally caught up on her.
Fortunately, Kristoff was there to catch her before her head hit the ground after, although in the back of her mind, she hoped he wasn't too alarmed by her sudden collapse; she was just tired, nothing major.
"Sorry to do this, Your Highness, but memory restoration takes a lot out of the recipient, especially those of low spiritual energy." The troll explained apologetically still holding her hand, however, the young ruler didn't mind—she just wanted to sleep and never wake up.
The young troll then waved his other hand over her eyes and everything went pitch black.
Although the restoration itself hadn't taken that long, the whole process itself had left Anna in a deep slumber for an entire day, which, in comparison, was relatively quick to her last one, considering it had taken several days. Grandpabbi had explained to Kristoff shortly after Anna had passed out that the spell he had cast served as somewhat of a filter—it sorted out all of her memories and altered those of which that were related to magic—the reason why it had taken her so long the last time to awake was because the spell had five years worth of magical moments that needed to be converted.
He had also mentioned that, because Anna had re-discovered her sister's abilities, whether she was aware or it or not, her subconscious had started picking at all of her memories and had started noticing that something seemed amiss with some of them; marking them as abnormal and hence, making it much easier for the young troll to restore. Therefore, the entire recovery process had sped up, which no doubt had brought immense relief to everyone else, who were all in quite a disarray once Kristoff had brought her back to the palace.
Poor guy, Anna couldn't even begin to imagine the verbal lashing the ice-harvester would have received from Kai for taking her the valley (unescorted, no less) and bringing her back several hours later unconscious & totally unresponsive. In hindsight, she should have first returned to the palace to inform the head butler of her plan so he could've at least prepared for her absence, but, sadly, Anna had always acted before thinking about the consequences and quite often would receive a hefty lecture about the importance of having foresight; which, safe to say, occurred shortly after regaining consciousness from one very frazzled Gerda.
And yet, it had been worth the ear-splitting lashing, because Anna finally remembered everything.
"The sky's awake! So I'm awake! So we have to play!"
From the midnight rendezvous with Elsa, even though it had been late and they both had known how tired they would be come morning.
"Come on! Come on!"
"Shhhhh!"
"Come on! Come on!"
How she would drag Elsa down the hallway and down the stairs buzzing in excitement whilst trying not to get caught by any of the staff, or worse, their parents.
"Do the magic! Do the magic!
"Ready?"
She could remember the bright spark in her sister's sky-blue eyes and the carefree smile she would wear whenever she would cast her magic, and how she would always cover her mouth with her hand whenever she giggled at something silly.
"Hi! My name is Olaf and I like warm hugs."
"I love you, Olaf."
The dozens of snowmen they would build all with the name Olaf in honour of their great-grandfather.
"Tickle-bumps!"
All the ice-skating and tobogganing which would occur in the ballroom during the middle of summer.
"Catch me! Again!"
She could even recall the moment when everything changed...
"Wait! Slow down!"
She hadn't understood the danger she had put herself in because she simply assumed Elsa would have been able to break her fall at the time—she had been having so much fun, she had just wanted to keep playing.
"ANNA!"
The Princess had placed so much faith in her older sister's abilities that she had never stopped to consider that Elsa herself had been struggling to keep up with her demands, and, because of that reckless attitude of hers, her eight year old sister had been confined to live in an empty room with nothing but guilt, fear, and isolation to keep her company for thirteen painstaking years—forcing her to lose that cheerful persona, and that lovely smile of hers—and Anna hated herself for it.
However, after finding her mother's diary and learning of her parents' involvement a week after regaining her memories, Anna decided that she hated her parents much more.
Yes, she understood it was rather harsh of her to make such a crude statement about the late King & Queen so bluntly, but after reading her mother's entries it was hard for her to feel any sense of compassion for either of them—it was hard for her to feel it for her father, who had made rash decisions after one freaking accident, separating her & Elsa, and forcing Elsa to wear gloves while telling her not to feel (seriously, who does that?!), or for her mother, who had continued to stand by her husband's side, not interfering, allowing him to take reign of the entire situation because she had been too afraid by an ability she couldn't understand, even though she knew it was wrong and it wasn't helping Elsa or her in the slightest—their actions merely caused the young ruler's blood boil.
Parents were supposed to love and nurture, not frighten or dictate you.
Still, if there was one thing Anna was grateful for after finding the diary and nearly hurling it into the closest flaming fireplace (but fortunately refrained from doing so, courtesy of the level-minded Princess Rapunzel, who knew all too well to the sting of a parent's deception) it was that it gave her a much better understanding of her older sister and what made her tick. And, more importantly, she now knew how to approach Elsa and get her to open up.
'As soon as I find her...'
And find her again she would, and, once she did, Anna was tying her down to a chair, regardless of Elsa's cries or protests, and she was not going to let her go until Elsa finally allowed her to properly love her.
'WOAH! THAT TOTALLY CAME OUT WRONG!' The Princess thought, horrified, her cheeks burning a flaming red in mortification from the implication of her words, and she was very grateful she had not said them out loud.
Though... she did mean it. Once she found Elsa, Anna was never going to let her go again—the younger Princess was going to spend every waking moment holding her sister and convincing her that she wasn't a monster, nor that was she dangerous, and that she was loved regardless.
She didn't care how long it would take—five, ten, twenty, or even fifty years— Anna wouldn't give up on Elsa. She had once before, many years ago when she had decided to stop knocking on the older girl's door, and she sure as Hell wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.
'Still, Kristoff's right; even if the fleet does find Elsa, there's no way she's going to let anyone approach her—especially, if they're in Arendelle's military-issued uniforms.' Anna mused, deep in thought. 'No doubt, the moment she catches sight she'll try to flee, and if she manages to leave the island, then we're back to square one.'
It was a hunch, but after several weeks of thoroughly searching the kingdom and its surrounding neighbours, the scouts came to the conclusion that Elsa had most likely had crossed the ocean and was probably residing somewhere within the Viking Archipelago. When Anna had heard that, it had taken all her willpower not to groan out loud and repeatedly bang her head against the desk until she was knocked out cold.
Not much was known about the Viking Archipelago except that it consisted of several hundred small islands, most of which were uninhabited and unfortunately uncharted, so looking for her there was the equivalent of searching for a needle in a haystack, only less arduous or painful. It also didn't help that most of it was shrouded in thick fog for days on end—hence why most sailors steered clear of travelling through that part of the seas. That, and the fear of being raided—which brought up another concern:
Vikings.
Although her family descended from Viking heritage, Anna's tutor had informed her about the violent history of her ancestors and it horrified Anna to think that her big sister was residing somewhere within their territory; vulnerable and completely unaware of the lion's den she had unwittingly stepped into it. The Princess could only pray that Elsa was living on an uninhabited island—safe and well.
'Not to mention, there's still the issue of bringing her back... even if she does agree to return of her own free will, who's to say something won't happen to Elsa on the voyage back?'
Although it made her uncomfortable, Anna acknowledged the fact that Elsa wasn't viewed by the Arendelle people in a favourable light at the moment and there was a chance that the fleet might mistreat the Queen along the way. Not only that, there was the possibility that she might inadvertently cause a storm, and just the idea terrified the the young woman; she'd already lost her parents to the sea, she couldn't bear the thought of the same fate falling upon her sister.
'So what do I do?' She wondered, wishing for guidance. Even though she still resented her parents for what they had done, she still wished they were here—they would surely have had a solution. 'Then again, would any of this have happened if they survived?'
Probably not. They would have continued ruling the land, the gates would still be closed, Elsa would still be shut in her room while Anna would continue being oblivious to her sister's suffering, she never would have met Hans, or Kristoff, or Sven, or Rapunzel, or Eugene, and Olaf never would have been born...
Anna might not like the life she was currently living, but it was much more preferable than the alternative.
Because at least this one had more honesty...
Author's Note: Oh my God, I'm done! AFTER SIX FRIGGIN' MONTHS I'M FINALLY DONE! (Well actually, there's more to this chapter but I decided to split it, otherwise, this wouldn't be updated for another month! Even though, I would've liked to have added more, I'll at least have some leigh-way for the next chapter...)
But anyway, now onto the important things: I want to apologise to all of you for letting you have to wait for so long - these past six months I've been procrastinating, because I struggled a lot with Anna's character - I thought it would be easy, but I found myself stumbling and doubting along the way - and in all honesty, I don't think I've done her justice, however, I found she was too jaded at this point to be the fun, quirky girl we all know and love. I always felt she would have been bitter or resentful over what Grandpabbi & her parents did - but being a Disney movie, you don't get to see that. Hence, why we fanfiction authors exist.
I posted up another Hiccelsa story called: "Trembling hands and open hearts" while Chapter 2 is already completed and ready to be uploaded, I figured I should update this story first since I know you'd all kill me otherwise, lol. Still, I would be really happy if you read & reviewed that one too, because I'm really excited to be writing it.
I also spent this time doing editing for two stories (so I haven't just been completely lazing about), they are:
"Rumours and liabilities" by TheWritingFactory and "What once was mine" by the lovely Margaret Helstone. Please read both of them, especially "What once was mine" for any Hiccunzel shippers out there - she seriously deserves the reviews!
During the past six months, I've also obsessing over Corpse Party (again...) and my OTP (Ayushiki - I ship these two SO HARD!) and re-reading the manga which is now a completed translation. I highly recommend it to manga or watching the game-play of it on youtube, however, be warned it's incredibly violent and suited for people over 18. There is the anime as well, but don't watch it; it'll destroy your soul - I BEG OF YOU!
I've also fallen into the Miraculous Ladybug fandom and I'm not sure when I'm getting out of that one. I even made an AMV of it! They've got a tight grip on me and I can't escape! HELP!
Enough about all that though, I would like to give a heartfelt thanks to a lot of people who've influenced me these past six months, because without any of them, it would have taken me a lot longer to update - if ever.
First to TheWritingFactory: Thank you for always messaging me to keep tabs on whether I'm alive or not, and for always reading my dozen drafts without an ounce of complaint, and for always providing great feedback - I really appreciate it.
To Maxaro: For messaging me to see how I'm going and for always being ready to beta and completing it efficiently, but always giving me his honest opinion. So you watched CP: TS... My condolences, lol! Have you read the manga? Do you like the series? Do you have a favourite character? Mine's Yoshiki and Ayumi.
To fanfictionmakermachine: Also for messaging me and making sure that I had not disappeared off the face of the earth - thank you. I can't wait to read more of "Battling the Snowstorm."
To the super amazing Margaret Helstone: Words cannot describe how glad I am to have met you. The amount of effort you have put into promoting this story has gone above and beyond! You even did promotional posters/pics for me! Seriously, you're so awesome! Thank you! I can't wait to see your MEP... ;-)
To the reviewers: THANK YOU! Without your support or your kind words, this story would have died a long time ago, so thanks. You make it worth it.
And most importantly, I want to thank Pretty Snowflake and engsarak: because these two amazing girls have each created a MEP for the Thaw Slowly AMV. Yes, you heard correctly: there's an actual AMV in the making - no definite when it's completed - but two parts have already been uploaded to youtube and THEY ARE INCREDIBLE! I'm not kidding!
engsarak (who I had been following before I found out she was participating in this project) managed to get Hiccup & Elsa to hold hands (OMFG! SO ADORABLE! HOW SHE DID THAT IS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION!) Plus she used voice overs and I squealed like an excited little girl - it was perfect!
Pretty Snowflake (who I had been stalking on youtube as well, lol) managed to do THE BLANKET SCENE! I've watched it a million times trying to figure out how she did it! Then she got Hiccup's face to shift to Anna's to show their resemblance - it was so beautiful and well done! But my favourite part was at the end when Elsa is hugging him and he says: "It's okay." I died right there and then...
So therefore I'm dedicating this chapter to both of them, because of their efforts, I was able to kick my ass into gear again and finally complete this damn chapter.
Thank you, everyone. You have no idea how much this all means to me...
Until next time.
