Holy bloody flip. I kept deleting this chapter, re-writing it, then deleting it again. I couldn't make up my mind, but no matter what I typed, it just didn't seem... Right, you know? And, I couldn't think of a song... Bleah. But enough complaining, let us commence forthwith on chapter 12!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Green Day
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I walk a lonely road, the only one I have ever known
Don't know where it goes, but it's only me,
And I walk alone
I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams,
Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone.
I walk alone, I walk alone...
My shadows only one that walks beside me,
My shadows heart's the only thing that's beating,
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,
'Til then I walk alone.
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day
You know it's going to be a really bad day when you wake up in the hospital and your arm still hurts like hell. You also know it's going to be a bad day when the first thing out of someone's mouth to you is, "I'm sorry, we couldn't save him". And, to top it off, you then learn that your other friend is still critically injured.
Yep, my idea of the best day of my existence.
I let out a sigh. So, he was dead, after all. No miracles, nothing. He's gone. I sat up. My arm did hurt, but it looked well enough. Why were they still holding me here in this hospital? Or were they just too lazy to inform me that I had the option to go home? Which, if they did say that, I probably wouldn't. I needed to know about Kiba's condition. Even so... I let out another sigh. Did someone already inform Naruto yet? Did they even think to tell him? Or would it be me who would have to tell him once I got out of this hell hole?
"Ms. Hyuuga," one doctor came in the room. Ms. Hyuuga? What the fuck. "We have officially confirmed that you can go home. Just make sure you take it easy, okay? That wound is still sort of fresh. It may sting for some time, but... We believe you are functional enough to move."
Joy.
"How's Kiba?" I asked him. He gave me a blank look, and I sighed. "Mr. Inuzaka?"
"Oh!" the doctor smiled, flipping through his check board. "Sorry, I generally don't recognize people by their first names. Inuzaka, Inuzaka... Oh, here we are! Inuzaka Kiba. He's still in critical condition. Some of the blade wounds were severe. We're lucky, though, because one of them just came centimeters short of the heart."
"Oh," I said in response. I didn't even notice that one. "Thank you. May I... leave now?"
"Yes," the doctor nodded. "You are free to go."
"Oh, um," I also added before he left. "Can you, well, keep me updated about him for me? I'll be in the waiting room..."
"Sure," he nodded. "I understand. Ms. Hyuuga, right? And, well, I'll keep you updated for the next hour, is that okay? But after that, you should probably leave..."
"Okay. Thank you."
I got up. I didn't want to stay in this white room for much longer. White drove me insane. Okay, hospital white drove me insane. I arrived into the waiting room and sat down, staring blankly at my hands. No sign of anyone else here. Temari must've been telling her entire family. If she had a family. That made me wonder: Where was Kankuro? What was he doing? Another stray thought crossed my mind; has anyone told Naruto yet? I shook my head. If he had known, he would have come here as fast as possible, knowing him. I sighed slightly in disappointment. For once, I was wishing dog-boy was around to keep away the eerie silence. I was getting stares from some people. Bloody hell, did they have anything else to do than stare at me?
Then again, I was bored as well. And I haven't even been here for ten minutes. This was going to be utterly annoying one hour. Why an hour? Would they have something to tell me then? What were they doing to Kiba, anyways? If he was in critical condition, then did that mean it was a chance between life and death? My heart froze. Did that mean he could also wind up dead like Gaara? Would I be accountable for both of their deaths? I shook that thought away. He wasn't going to die, not yet. Not him. No way. But the sudden panic rose into my head. What if he did die?
That would be the worst thing to happen.
Life would be nothing without him. I mean, he's the only person who has visited me ever since I became a drug addict. Well,visited me by choice. Naruto and Gaara had also been there, too, but we were helping Kiba. Same with Sakura and Shino. And Neji? I haven't seen him in weeks, though he did drop by when I wasn't home. I stared blankly at my hands again, fear going through my head. If he died, what would happen to me? Did I even want to think of that?
No. That answer was obvious. The reason why, I couldn't comprehend. It was so confusing, I didn't get it. At all. I abruptly stopped thinking. Too many emotions for me to deal with. Note to self: Change door lock so dog-boy can't get in, and make sure to only think about one thing at a time. Why hadn't I still changed the lock yet? Oh, right: I had been too busy going on a rescue mission that killed Gaara.
And maybe I was too late to save him.
Maybe he would die. Maybe I spent too much time dealing with Ino and running too slow down those halls. Maybe...
"Hinata!"
My head snapped up. Who said my name? I looked around. Was I imagining things again? I saw no one, until my eyes crossed paths with Neji. What was he doing here? He walked towards me.
"Hinata, I heard everything just a few minutes ago," he explained, sitting down next to me. "Are you okay? How is Kiba?"
The sound of his name from someone else hurt. It hurt a lot, knowing that he could die. "H-He's in critical condition..."
"Oh, yeah," Neji nodded. "But the phone call I got said that he was recovering..."
I blinked. How long had I been thinking? The doctor from earlier came through the door and smiled at me. I became confused. No way was I thinking for an HOUR! Or had I? He walked towards me, still smiling. I glanced at Neji, then back to him.
"Ms. Hyuuga," he said. "It was a success. He's okay, though he is still is sleeping. He may have to stay here for a week, but... He's on the path to recovery."
I sighed in relief. Worrying for nothing. "Thanks, doc. I owe you one."
"Your welcome. We'll keep you updated via phone. Do you want to see him?"
"No, thank you," I sighed. "I'm going home."
The doctor nodded, then walked away. I got up, and Neji looked at me oddly. I shrugged, going out of the building, him trailing behind me. He flung his car keys up in the air, then caught them in his other hand. I got in his car, and he entered, sighing.
"I knew I was going to have to give you a ride the second I entered the hospital and saw you," he groaned playfully, pulling out of the parking lot. "But you do look slightly better. How has rehab been? Everything going well?"
"Yeah, but it's been tough," I whined. "Drugs suck."
"They do indeed."
We arrived to my apartment building a short time later. Neji followed me as I walked up the stairs, unlocking my apartment door. Everything was in tact, everything in perfect order from when I last left it. I looked around. One thing was out of place. Gaara left his case of bullets on my table, right before he had left and Ino had called me. Everything came into place after that. I reached for them, hand shaking. I picked them up, observing them. .44 magnum bullets. They were his.
"Stupid...!" I yelled. "You stupid raccoon-boy! Why?! Why?! You just had to be the hero! You imbecile! You dumb ass! You know what, I'm glad you died! You deserved it! You... I hate you forever! You and your stupid belief system!" I slammed my fist on the table, "Burn in hell!"
"Hinata--?"
"You bastard...," I finished, looking at my older brother. "Just kill me, Onii-chan. Just... I want to die. Shoot me, throw me out the window, something! I got Kiba hurt, I--"
"Does Kiba blame you for it?" he interrupted.
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Would Gaara blame you if he had lived?" Neji asked so easily.
"I..."
"That answer would be no, for both of them," Neji stated flatly. "You are blaming yourself. Stop having such a pity party.. Kiba would have a fit if he saw you like this. When he called me a week ago, he kept saying that he was annoyed that you did that, you know?"
"He called you?" Well, there was something new to me. Neji and Kiba were friends. He nodded once. I stared blankly at the bullets slightly, then picked them up. I could always buy a .44 magnum, right? I had enough money. I walked to my room, putting them in my gun-safe, and locked it. I walked back to the living room, glancing slightly at the clock. Lunch time. Joy. Quite honestly, I wasn't hungry, I was just really tired. Neji sighed.
"Hinata, they'll call you," he said. "Just get some sleep, you look really exhausted. I'll leave. Call me if you need anything, and I hope your arm gets better."
He left me alone on that note. But he was right: They never once did blame me. But I still felt utterly guilty. I walked back to my room, and my eyes drifted partially closed. I wondered how Kabuto was faring, with his 'Lord Orochimaru' dead and all. Well, he still had the other four, right? Kidomaru, Tayuya, Jirobo, and Sakon. Ukon was still going to school, wasn't he? Maybe he just got sick of the junkie life, like I had. It's no way to live. Living like that was like living as a loser for your entire life. Orochimaru was a loser. A big time loser.
I let out a sigh. My arm hurt less, that was a good thing, wasn't it? I relaxed a little bit more, before my eyes finally felt closed.
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Okay. That chapter just really sucked. I had to get it out of the way. (Can you see why I kept re-writing it? I'm not re-writing it again. I'll make it double awesome for chapter XIII. Hah, thirteen.) So, review please. Like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor. Dedicated to Saki and Mitsuyuki for the Lord of the Rings parody. We're close to finishing the first chapter. Mitsuyuki will have it by the end of this week, promise. Check it out when it is. See ya at XIII!!
