Black lace

Chapter Twelve.

I had heard Joey leave about half an hour ago. I couldn't believe he had walked away again, after everything that had happened the last few days. I also couldn't forgive myself for wishing him dead, running my mouth off before thinking and then regretting it, I had done a lot of that recently typical me, the thing is it was far from the truth and I would have thought Joey knew that I was just angry. I needed to face the music and have my Joey back home where he belonged, we could get through the drug dealing together, just like we got through everything else, it was two, we are a pair, me and Joey had the 'you jump I jump' kind of relationship and that's just the way we liked it, we didn't need anyone else well at least I thought we didn't until little Branning decided to make an appearance we would be a family but until then it was just us.

I unlocked the door and looked around to see if Joey had come back, but he hadn't. I walked downstairs and walked towards my phone. I picked it up but instead of dialling Joey's number, I noticed an envelope with my name on it, this writing was familiar it was Joey's. I opened it expecting to be told were I could find Joey when I was good and ready but it was far from the expectation.

Dear Lauren

I was sat here for ages whilst you were upstairs in our bed wondering how I would address this letter to you, I decided with Dear Lauren but here are the other names I could have listed in its place dear…my baby, my soul mate, mother of my unborn child, owner of my heart, love of my life, my rock.

I am writing this letter as a goodbye, but also a way of letting you know that in my own words I love you. Even though I haven't shown it lately baby, I hope you know that what you're about to read is nothing but the truth. The last 2 years have seen the most amazing times of my life and that's all down to you, I never expected to find love, then again I never wanted to be in love and I never expected to be loved in return you were and still are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. I never thought I'd lose you again after the crash, because I promised I'd keep you by my side forever, I'm sorry I messed up, and now I realise I have messed up for the last time. You are and will always be with me and my love for you will always be the same. You mean everything to me and by doing this I give you all the happiness in the world.

I will never forget the way we made love, kisses every time your lips touched mine it was like I was kissing you for the first time all over again. The way my hand fitted yours perfectly and how you kissed my nose before you went to sleep. Whenever I was in work all I could think about was what you were doing or I would check the time to see how long I had to wait to see your beautiful face waiting in our bed. Thank-you for being my rock, your smile would get me through the rainy days that may I add made your hair curly but I loved it that way even if you didn't believe me.

Make sure you tell our little sprout how even though daddy isn't around anymore that I love he or she more than anyone will ever realise and that I wish I had got to see them grow up, watch first steps hear their first words see them in a school play be there to collect them from school every day I even wish I could hold their hand to cross the road, I hope my little one has a life full of love and lots and lots of cuddles and kisses on behalf of me to. Most of all I just want you to both know that no one will ever love you like I do, like I always have. I love you more than I do myself, and if you know anything in this world, know this: you will never be alone and you will always be loved. You'll always have someone thinking about you, and someone who misses you. You'll forever be a part of me, and I am honoured to have loved you, and had you in my life. Thank you for teaching me what love is.

Forever your Jo x

I didn't understand he meant a goodbye, I thought to myself. I ran out of the door and into the street there were people everywhere but I couldn't see Joe he was probably long gone by now, it dawned on me that I'd never see him again.