Caine's POV (One month later)
"Ow, my head." I said out loud as I woke up, I tried to move my hand up to my head to massage the pain away but it wouldn't move.
I looked over to see that it was held down by a brace. I struggled but it was no use. All my limps were held down, even my wings.
"Hello?! Can anypony tell me why I am bound to a bed!" I called out.
A few moments later a pony walked in. They were wearing clothes that made their features extremely hard to pinpoint and examine. It did look to be a mare but I couldn't be sure especially since they were fairly tall.
"Hello, Madam? Sir? I am sorry those clothes you are wearing make it hard to tell. Can you tell me what I am doing here and why I am bound to this bed?" I asked. I did remember what had happened before I had fallen unconscious and it couldn't have been too long since my wounds still felt fresh.
"Caine." It spoke in a firm, feminine voice.
"Celestia?" I asked. The voice sounded familiar but different.
The mare removed her hood to reveal that she was indeed Celestia.
"Celestia. Why am I here?" I asked her, almost begging. I was starting to worry.
"You are being held in the Canterlot prison for your crimes against the town and citizens of Ponyville and the elements of harmony. You have been unconscious for the past month." She stated with anger in her voice.
"What?! I didn't hurt the elements of harmony. Celestia, an Earth pony mare took over my body and locked my mind inside of my head..." I started recapping what had happened to me to cause this.
"I see. And where, pray tell, is this mare?" She asked, skeptic.
"I don't know. The last thing I remember is seeing her body fall limp from the tree she was hiding in before I passed out." I told her.
"Caine. You harmed many ponies that day and almost killed the element bearers. Your story is also hard to believe. An Earth pony mare with the ability over any other magic besides earthen? Preposterous. Only one other pony of non-unicorn decent has achieved any use of magic other than her races' and that is my niece, Cadence. I am afraid I have no choice but to sentence you to death. You are too dangerous to Equestria, especially since you have both wings and strength. It is highly likely that if given enough time you will be granted a horn as well. You are just to dangerous." She told me in a firm voice.
This hit me hard. She wanted me dead and I had almost killed the elements of harmony. But something the mare had said to me while she controlled me stopped me from accepting my fate. I had a great destiny. How could I abandon that. I needed to find out what it was.
"Celestia please. Isn't there any way that I can prove to you that I am telling you the truth?" I begged her.
She pondered for a moment before speaking "There is one way but you may not like the consequences."
"Please Celestia. I have to apologize. I have to right my wrongs. I need to fulfill my destiny."
"I will attempt a mental link. If I am able to do so then I will be able to see your life and your memories. The only problem is, is that I need to start from the beginning lest I accidentally destroy some of them or drive you insane. I will see who you are and why you are that way. Every year, every hour, every minute, every second of your life I will experience. Are you okay with this?"
This stunned me. Celestia would see everything, all the horrible things I had done in the name of my brother. The reason why I kept people at a distance. She would know my very being. I didn't know if I was okay with that. I had just recently learned to trust but could I trust someone so completely as to let them know me so completely, to have them basically take every deep and dark secret and memory that I have locked away and bring it to the surface. I didn't know if I was ready for that.
I spent a great deal of time contemplating till I reached a decision and a revelation.
"I...agree. But what about Ponyville? They think I am a monster and bad stallion. How will I get them to forgive me, especially when I only have a second-hand account of what I did?"
"While doing the mental link I am able to store certain memories for review later but if I do this all of your thoughts will be on display. Whomever I show these memories to will know anything and everything you had thought during them. Would you like me to do this?" She asked.
"Yes. Every memory you deem necessary to prove my innocence, take. You have my permission to show them to anypony who doubts me. I just want to go back to Ponyville and finish what I started." I said. I was determined now more than ever.
"I will put my hand on your forehead to commence the process and once it has started it cannot be stopped. I will fly through your memories but it will only seem like seconds has passed to you. You will feel a strong sensation and your mind will try to fight it with all its might. Try to resist this as much as you can. What ever you do, do not break the connection. If you do, you might cease to exist. All of your memories that I have seen already will be dissolved and lost forever. Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"Do you understand?" She asked, a little more demanding.
"I understand Princess Celestia." I said.
Instead of replying, her hand shot forward and onto my forehead like she had told me. immediately I felt a very strange sensation and my mind felt like I was having the biggest migraine in my life while having the catchiest and most annoying song, ever, stuck in my head. I tried to let it flow but it was hard and I couldn't do much to stop from resisting it. At the same time though I felt like I was being, for lack of a better word, raped, mentally. I could feel Celestia digging through the memories of Caine and bringing up memories he had long forgotten and never wished brought back to the surface. Eventually she let go of Caine's head. I felt much better afterward but felt like I needed to bathe my brain.
Her eyes were watering and she had a sad look on her face.
"Princess? Why are you crying? Did you find and take the memories that you needed from Cain- myself?" I caught myself speaking in the third person. When she did that I felt like I had disconnected from myself. Like my soul and mind were separated.
"I didn't realize what you had been through." She replied as she wiped away tears.
"I haven't been through that much. The worst that ever happened was that I was disowned by my brother." I told her. I seriously didn't remember anything bad enough happening to cause anyone to cry, least of all Celestia herself.
"You have lived a life of loneliness Caine. You haven't let anypony into your heart besides your brother and he betrayed you when you decided to do the right thing. I don't know how you are the way you are by being rewarded by doing bad things and punished for good. You have been a noble and kind person when you can be, to everypony. I am sorry I doubted you and I hope you can forgive me." Celestia said.
"I won't forgive you for thinking of your subjects Celestia. Now get me off of this uncomfortable table and let's get going. I have business to take care of." I told her.
She used her magic to release me and change me back into a fresh pair of clothes.
"Are you sure you want to go through with this, even after you have learned to trust?" She asked me, saddened by my decision.
I had decided at some point along the way that I couldn't love another pony. I could only hurt them if I tried, as evidenced by the last time that had happened. I know neither Twilight nor Derpy deserve to deal with me and if I tried to build a relationship I would end up hurting them and any other mare I would build one with. I wasn't good enough nor reliable enough to have a relationship. By trusting myself I learned who and what I really was, and that is not anything I want to weigh somepony down with.
"Yes Celestia. I firmly believe it." I told her.
"As you wish. I cannot make you love another."
"Thank you." I told her, ending the conversation as we exited the room.
We walked out of the castle a few minutes later. I kept getting hateful glares from guards and servants who walked by us but they quickly dropped them whenever Celestia flashed her horn. They looked at me with pity in their eyes which I wasn't comfortable with.
"Celestia, are you showing all of them my memories?" I whispered to her.
"Yes, I am." She whispered back.
"Exactly which memories are you showing them. The ones you should be showing them shouldn't make them pity me."
"I am showing them what you have been through and the trials you have faced."
"What does that mean?" I whispered harshly.
"They can see a lot of the memories that make you, you."
"That wasn't what I meant by taking any of the memories that proved my innocence, Celestia. I beg of you, please, only show them what had happened to me concerning the mare and my body's crimes." I pleaded to her.
"Fine, if that is what you wish." She relented with a hint of disappointment.
"Thank you."
We arrived at a chariot with pegasi guards waiting to take us to Ponyville. I was about to ask why we ourselves couldn't fly there until I realized that I didn't know how to.
We boarded and set off for Ponyville.
"Celestia, how do you plan to show everypony my memories? I doubt you have the time to show them my memories one by one."
"I have sent ahead for the element bearers to gather all of the townsfolk for a town meeting. We will be the last ones there."
"Ok." I simply stated.
We arrived about twenty minutes later. I was really scared about how the townsponies would react to me once they saw me without having seen my memories. I also dreaded the fact of facing Twilight, Derpy, and Rarity. I had hurt Twilight and Derpy emotionally and physically and had abandoned all of them.
We headed for the town hall and went inside.
Everypony turned to look at us and I was immediately met with an overwhelming sense of anger and fury. I tried to look as small as possible as Celestia and I made our way to the stage. We went up the steps and Celestia stepped to the front of it while I stayed back with my arms behind me butler style.
"Ponies of Ponyville. I come here today with Caine. Most, if not all, of you know who he is and what he has done. We are here today to correct that and to explain the situation. Caine has given me permission to show you all the memories, that I have gained from a mental link, to prove his innocence." They all gasped at the words mental link. Apparently they all knew what it was and apparently the specifics of it too since many of them softened their expressions immediately.
"I will now begin to show you all what has truly happened." Celestia's hands and horn glowed a bright gold along with everypony's eyes.
A few moments later the glow died and everypony looked at me with regret. I knew I needed to handle this lest I be given special treatment.
"I can see everypony feels bad for judging me." I told them. Many nodded.
"Well stop it!" I yelled at them in a firm voice. This surprised many of them, some of which backed away in fear.
"Do not regret judging me harshly when you knew not the context of the situation. None of you could have known. You acted rationally and expertly in your judgment of myself. My mind may have not committed the crime, but my body still did and that completely takes away your right to feel regret. You thought it was me and you were right, technically...it was. I do not want special treatment because you regret judging me nor do I want special treatment for any other reason. I only wish to be accepted back into your town with open arms and to leave all of what happened in the past. Can you grant me this wish?" I looked out at them with pleading eyes.
After a few moments nopony responded, they just kept continuing to stare at me. "I understand. I will take my leave then. It was...nice, here. For the most part. I bid you all a wonderful life." I said in a fake happy tone. On the inside I was devastated. They did not want me around anymore and by being a coward I had lost everything and everyone. I understood why they didn't want me here.
As I was about to walk out the door, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to see the second mare I had ever met, the nurse.
"We don't want you to leave Caine. We want you to stay. Isn't that right everypony?" She asked of them.
"That's right!" "He should be here with us!" "You technically did nothing wrong, you should be allowed to stay!" I heard these and many other various yells and affirmations from the crowd.
After they had died down I decided to speak "Thank you everypony, that means a lot to me. I will be taking my leave though but only for tonight. I have to work some things out and will be back in the morning. Goodbye everypony!"
I left after that leaving the town hall and walking to where my first night shelter had been when I had left the first time. I was only about thirty feet from town hall when I heard a voice.
"Caine!" I turned around to see Twilight running up to me with the other element bearers and Derpy in tow.
"Yes girls?" I asked of them when they caught up.
Before any of them could get anything out Rainbow and Applejack walked up to me and decked me right in the face. I toppled backwards onto the ground with a resounding thud.
"Okay, kinda deserved that." I admitted.
"Caine! I am so glad that this was all a misunderstanding." Twilight cheered.
"As am I Twilight. Now if that is all you girls are here for I will be taking my leave." I told them as I stood up and turned around.
"Caine darling, where are you going?" I heard Rarity ask.
"To set up camp. I will be staying there till I get enough bits to move into an apartment or buy or build my own house." I told them as I turned back to them sensing more.
"Caine. You know you can stay with either Rarity or myself, right?" Twilight told me.
"Or me." Derpy added which earned her a slight glare from Twilight.
"Thank you girls but I don't think it would be best for me to be around you anymore. I hurt you, all three of you, both emotionally and physically. I don't want to do it again and I don't want to be tempted to try anything that might end up the same way. I think it would be a good idea for us to part ways. I need to discover how to unlock my horn anyways and learn how to use it, and my wings." I told all of them.
"But, what about us? I thought we were going somewhere Caine." Twilight was almost crying now.
"I'm sorry Twilight. I don't want anything like this to ever happen again. I accept the fact that I won't, and can't, have a relationship in Equestria, of any kind." I said as I looked at the three mares who had dominated my life ever since I arrived. The rest of the girls just stood quietly while we talked.
"Caine, how can you say that? Of course you can have relationships in Equestria. You hurting us once shouldn't keep you from severing ties with us and swearing off any more." Derpy told me.
"No, I can't. I believe you know how I was able to keep my wings?" I asked them, which they nodded yes in response.
"I decided to trust myself and in doing so realized that I am not good enough. Never have been. Not for my brother, not for myself, and definitely not for you. The way we met and bonded is filled with violence. I don't want that to be apart of your lives any longer and so I have decided to essentially ostracize myself from the townsfolk in every way possible, only interacting with them when the need arises." I told them with firmness in my voice signaling the conversation was over.
"Please Caine. None of us want you out of our lives. We care for you and want you to be happy. How can you do that without friends or a special somepony?" Twilight asked me, not getting my hint.
"Easy, I don't. I did it for all my life and I only had about a week away from it. I will be fine, I won't be happy, but fine. You all will be safe from the danger I seem to draw in and I won't be able to hurt you ever again." I told her.
"But darling-" Rarity started.
"Please. Please just let me be alone. I have accepted my fate and now I expect you all to do the same. I will be leaving town and setting up my shelter. Please, don't follow me." I said turning away.
I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn't look back to see who it was and just shrugged it off.
I could hear foot steps behind me. I stopped and turned suddenly, making whomever was following me bump into me. It was Derpy.
She recovered quickly and wrapped her arms around me sobbing into my shirt. "Please Caine. Don't leave us. Don't leave me. You are one of the few ponies who treat me as anything more than a clutzy freak. You are the only stallion ever who has treated me with kindness. I want to be with you. I want us to be friends, to trust each other, maybe even eventually love each other." She said as she pushed herself deeper into me.
I grabbed her arms and pried her off of me. I knew I needed to do something to get them off of me, they wouldn't let me leave otherwise. I cupped her chin in my hands and leaned down as if to give her a kiss. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her. Her eyes became clouded with confusion. I grabbed her throat as softly as I could and threw her back. Hard enough to put some distance between us but not hard enough to trip her, or so I thought. She fell down and landed on her butt with a thud.
The girls just gasped at my sudden outburst as Derpy rubbed her throat and tried to get up only to be brought back down by the numbness in her rear.
"Don't follow me." I said with force, loud enough for all of them to hear. I turned and left and didn't hear anymore protests.
