Jude sat in the basement of her house, it was the one room that she had grown to hate, and she hadn't really grown to hate it, she had been made to hate it. When she looked around, it was as though flashes of that night would come back, she could see herself sitting in front of a key board, with Megan pacing back and forth behind her, the nail gun tight in her hand. She could see herself tied up to the chair when Megan had gone to Jamie's to borrow the bass. That nightmare, those memories they were still so real in her mind and so fresh sitting there, it made her wonder if when she left for London, if she was running from more than just Tommy.

She had the nightmares in London, but she had worked through them, with the help of the therapist her sister and insisted that she see. And now, because Sadie was insisting on this trail, her she was, bringing it all back up again. Digging up the memories she was sure she had boxed up.

She had tried explaining it to Sadie, but fighting with an ocean between them was even more difficult than fighting in the same room. There weren't enough words for Jude to convey her message, and Sadie had no intentions of hearing her. Things with the Harrison sister's always seemed to be Sadie's way, or no way.

But Jude didn't want to be doing this, she didn't want to do this to her friends, to her family, to herself and mostly to Megan. Megan had admitted that what she had done was wrong, but Jude also knew that she owed a lot to Megan and her craziness. If she hadn't done what she did, Jude's face wouldn't have been all over the news, her music wouldn't have gotten the type of exposure it had, and she wouldn't have had the chance to live out her dreams. Part of her also wondered if Tommy wouldn't have proposed if it hadn't happened. But it had happened, and Jude knew that all she wanted was to take the things that made her stronger and use them, not dwell on what could hurt her. It was something she had heard a lot from Dr. Rana.

She leaned on the support beam, the one that was so common in her nightmares. Doing this meant that she was going to drag everyone through the mud, that all of Megan's issues would be exposed to the world, and to Jude's fans. Jude had learned the hard way, that exposing certain things to the public could only come back to haunt you, and that her fans weren't very forgiving. She could still remember the amount of hate mail Tommy had gotten after one of their break ups, and the support she had gotten after her internet blasting of him. They weren't things that she was proud of, and it wasn't something she wanted to live through again. But here she was, listening to the impatient footsteps of her sister above her.

"Jude." Sadie called through the open door.

"Yeah." She answered back.

"What are you doing down here?" Sadie asked, quickly appearing at the top of the stairs. The stress of the day was already showing on her face.

"Just thinking." Jude gave her a soft smile.

"Well Tommy is here to give you a ride, I have to swing by the office and sign some papers, then I'll meet you out front."

She suddenly felt like a child. Like somehow, in the mess that had become her life, she had lost ten years of her life, and was transported back to her childhood. Was there anything she was going to be able to do alone?

"Yeah, okay." She sighed, standing up straighter, and heading for the door. At the top of the stairs, she looked back down, taking in the site of her basement one last time.

He was standing in the kitchen, with a coffee mug in his hands, his eyes on her as she emerged from the basement.

"You okay girl?" he asked, watching her face.

"Fine." She lied. It was all she could do though, she couldn't tell anyone that she was scared, or nervous, because they would try and comfort her, to make her feel better. But she didn't want to feel better, and she didn't want to be comforted, she just wanted this all to stop.

"Jude, about today." Tommy started, and Jude knew this was going to happen.

"Tommy, please." She looked up at him, knowing that she could use her eyes against him. Every part of her wanted him to be there, she wanted him to not listen to her and to just show up anyway, but she didn't want to think that she needed him there. She had made a choice to stand on her own two feet, but she couldn't tell him that she wasn't happy with what she had chosen.

"You don't have to go through this alone," he stepped forward, closer to her and she could smell his cologne mixed with coffee.

"I need to do this my way." She sighed, looking away from his eyes, knowing that he was trying his hardest to make her will crumble, and he was so close.