Thank you for all the reviews :) each one is a wonderfully gift wrapped present :D I'm taking a bit of a time step with Marta and Aaron here intentionally because I think they have still a lot of unresolved issues individually and together so we're going to have some angsty bits with feisty always needing an answer Marta trying to find the reason for the angst.

I hope you like and please, please keep reviewing :)


12

Something's got to give.

Jason's hide out turns out to be the wet dream of a serial killer and Marta wonders vaguely whether Jason's going to kill them after all, if they've been lured into some trap by a mad man. They've only been there a few days and already it feels like Aaron's drifting away from her. He's put so much distance between them; she's beginning to think he's doing it intentionally. Their touches, their kisses have stopped. The way he looks at her is more of heart breaking sadness than any kind of love he spoke – or didn't speak – of.

They'd left the boat and powered a whole day through dirt roads and shanty towns to this abandoned, remote, completely fucking creepy place where there held the biggest arsenal of weapons Marta has ever seen. Aaron had practically drooled over the guns, ammo, protective gear and even one that could only really be described as a medieval mace. Seeing this place, this dark and dank hovel of a nest got to her. Marta doesn't like it; she's beginning to feel more and more like the terrorist they described her in American newspapers they found while trekking through the more urban parts.

She hates that Aaron doesn't hold her hand as much now. She actually can't remember the last time he even looked at her. It's all Jason's fault, she's sure. Aaron was bottling everything up and it's going to come blowing out in a big, big way. Nest behaviour in trained killers causes psychological harm… she thinks.

He'd told her just a few days ago, while he had his fingers deep inside her, that he wanted her to be his but what the hell does that mean? Marta doesn't know eloquent speeches of protracted love, she knows hard facts and changing variables, conducting experiments and conclusively proving valid hypotheses; she has no idea what being made his actually means. Is he going to marry her? Is he planning a happily ever after? Neither of those is possible anymore.

Marta sighs as she goes over Jason's other data sets, rubbing her eyes as the isolation gets to her. Aaron, the real Aaron, is left behind on their happy little fishing boat and this almost-ruthless, almost-emotionless robotic man had taken his place. He still protects her, he still jumps in front of her at cracking branches his mind perceives as threats, he still makes smart ass remarks to get a rise out of her but… he touches her accidentally and then leaps back as if he's burnt by her. She's fucking sick of being alone. He's acting the same way when Peter left her alone. No word, no note. Just left and now he's dead with the other Outcome agents. He'd left her in that empty, broken house with the anger of never knowing why.

Marta doesn't want this Aaron. She wants the man she knew back on the boat. The man who made her bend to his will and caused her to fight back, fight for dominance and deference, fight for their friendship and for her life. He'd made her want to be better and now he's leaving her alone while he plays soldier with his toys with Jason. Fuck him. Fuck him for making her feel alone again. When you love a broken man, that's what you become too. She wants to burn Jason's serial killer hidey hole to the ground like she did to Peter's tombstone of a house.

There's a sharp thud in front of her and Marta nearly jumps out of her skin. A bag full of weapons is beside her on the floor, like it were a sack of presents. Aaron stands above her, towering.

"Didn't mean to scare you." He mutters and starts rifling through the guns, pulling out weapon after weapon after weapon. "How's it going?"

"Slow." She says and goes back to her papers, in full scientist mode. Marta grits her teeth at the sound of cocking guns. She should be used to them by now.

"Go quicker." He corrects the sight on a few, still not looking at her.

"Well fuck you too, sir." She rolls her eyes and gets up, going to another pile in another box. Jason had gathered so much information, so much to go off. You'd think she'd be happy with numbers and data but it's been a living hell. "I'm sorry I interrupted your happy gun time."

She doesn't want to break. She's not going to break. God, she hopes he breaks first.

"Just need the figures, Doc…" he doesn't call her Marta anymore. She hates it.

"What exactly are you and memory loss Rambo doing all day while I'm working?" she says through gritted teeth.

He steps back; she can hear his clunking footsteps on the lino. "We're working too."

"On what?" she doesn't look at him; she's pretending to read the data. Playing games is their new way of toeing the line.

"Work." He's standing right behind her now; she can feel him next to her, "Building up an arsenal for when it all goes down."

"War." She swallows, "Just call it what it is, Agent Cross. It's war. You're going into war."

"It's how we survive Doc."

"Don't call me that." She mutters. He doesn't hear her.

"It's how men like Jason and me…"

"You are nothing like Jason." She spits the word and spins; he's barely an inch away from her. He's got her cornered like a victim. She is not a victim, goddamn it. "You aren't anything like him, Aaron. You're warm and… merciful and there's so much missing in you right now, I might as well be talking to Jason for all you're giving me."

"Marta…"

She sees red. Dark red burning anger, hurt, loneliness, evil burning inside her. She pulls her hand back so quickly and slaps him as hard as she can. So hard it hurts her hand and reverberates up her arm. It pisses her off even more that Aaron barely flinches. "Don't call me that. Fuck, don't call me that unless you mean it." She bites back her acidic tears. "All you've done is push and push and push since we got here. Why?"

He doesn't answer her. He just stares at her, his eyes a little cooler, a little paler than she's seen them. Marta shakes her head, "Know what? Fuck you."

"Marta, wait…" Aaron says as she starts to step away, "You can't just leave this."

"Watch me." She bends to pick up her backpack and he grabs her arm hard. "Get off." Even Marta doesn't recognise her own voice now.

"Stop this." He says softer than he's been in days. "Please."

"Well since you asked so nicely." Sarcasm drips from her pores. She tries to wrestle her arm from his grip unsuccessfully. "Ever since you set foot off that fucking boat, all you've done is make me feel worthless of your time. You push a door hard enough, Aaron, you know what you get? A door back in the face."

"He told me." Aaron blurts out suddenly like his sewn up lips had been cut by her curiosity. "He told me what he did to the people he loved. To the women he loved, Marta… I'm worse than him. I've done everything wrong in my life and you're going to pay the price for me loving you, one way or another."

She shakes her head, "You're not him." Marta can't believe it. She won't believe Aaron would hurt her.

"No, I'm worse. I'm so much worse, I can't tell you things I've done because you'd look at me like Byer used to look at me, like a bomb that needs defusing." He shakes his head as her arm starts to hurt from his desperation, "You can't love me, Marta. It's not good for you."

She looks at his hand on her and then back to his pleadingly blue eyes. "Can you let me decide if it's worth it?"

Aaron smiles a little, "You've never known what it can do to you, loving men like me."

"Actually… I do." She swallows. "His name was Peter. Outcome Agent Number Three, Peter Jelinski." Marta looks at him and sees sparks of something. "I loved him. He left me. Now he's dead and I never got an answer, Aaron. I never got to know why I wasn't as good as the programme, why he went back to them to god knows where. Why did he just wake up one morning and stop loving me?" she blinks and tears stream down her cheeks, tears that burn for poor dead Peter and lost kind-hearted Aaron. "He left me like you're doing now, except you can't because we're stuck being hunted by Byer's attack dogs." She shakes her head, she's sick of being treated like she knows nothing of men like him. "Don't you dare fucking assume I don't know what falling in love with broken men can do to me, Aaron. I love you but I'm not enough."

Aaron just blinks, his eyes darting away from hers. "He didn't stop thinking about you. Not ever. Neither can I and it's scaring the shit out of me."

"What?" she shakes her head, not understanding, like a bucket of ice has been tipped over her head. "Outcome Agents don't...?"

"I met one, remember. Just one, I told you." He swallows and looks at her, reaching up to cradle her face, "You're the girl he loved? Oh fucking hell, Marta. Of course it's you. No man can help but -"

"Aaron." She grips his arms in a desperate plea, "You knew him?"

"Yes. He was like Jason is. Cold, distant, distrustful. He was nothing like I expected. I thought the girl he loved was dead, he was so defeated."

"Dead to him." She mutters, looking down. She hadn't loved Peter for a long time. Everything had brought him bubbling up to her volcanic surface and burnt hers and Aaron's whatever-ship into ash along with it.

Aaron's hands cup her chin and make her meet his gaze. "He was a foolish idiot."

She meets his gaze, "Aaron, if he was an idiot, what the hell does that make you?"

"A monster."

Marta just looks at him, shaking her head, "Not a monster." She looks into his eyes, mere inches from his lips, "Not a monster, Aaron. You don't have to end up like Jason and Peter, hurting the people you love, ripping out their hearts to play with. You can just love, okay? Just love and that's enough." She claims his lips hard with hers, "I'm not giving up on you and me."

"You're the warrior, Marta." He mutters as he kisses her back, and she knows he's never going to stop. "Not me."

Marta kisses him even harder. A man like Aaron loves a woman like Marta and it's just that simple.

Something good is given.


A/N: So yes, if you're wondering, next chapter is going to be so so so good for everyone. ;-) I hope you liked 'don't fuck with me' Marta.