"He's finally asleep." I sighed plopping down on the couch next to Dallas.

He was always over helping me out. It was funny, I thought as soon as the baby came I would never see him again, but he was committed.

Dallas laughed quietly "Let's see how long that lasts."

I punched his arm with as much force as I could muster. I was so tired I had forgotten what sleep felt like; I did not need his negativity, I had enough of my own.

It was July and Dylan was 9 months old today, almost a year! Time sure had flown.

I had made it through my sophomore year, but not without a struggle. In November I would be old enough to drop out and I'm not going to lie, I was seriously considering it.

Child care was really expensive and though my friends and family were willing to help out, they had lives of their own, they couldn't drop everything.

I'd love to tell you that the Saunders family moved to Toronto but they couldn't. I couldn't ask them to either, because well… like I said, they couldn't just drop everything. They came to see Dylan a couple days after he was born. Cam's brothers and sister and father and mother, they were wonderful people. They loved Dylan and me. They called as much as they could and told me they would try to visit in the summer, but they hadn't yet.

So with another year starting very soon I had a choice I needed to make.

I also had depression. I was trying to cope with it, and some days I was fine, but others I would just lose it. It was a scary thing for me.

Trying to get a job at my age hadn't been fun either, and when I actually got one I would get fired for showing up late too many times. I had already tried the bookstore, Little Miss Steaks, and a couple clothing stores in the mall. I was now working at the Dot but I knew it was only a matter of time before I got kicked to the curb there too.

Dallas tried sticking around as much as possible but his hockey schedule was unpredictable and took up most of his time.

His job did pay off for me though; he helped me out with some of my expenses.

There's one more thing about my life that was going wrong. My mother had taken a turn for the worse. A couple months after Dylan was born, she found out that she had breast cancer. And with all of her other medical problems it could potentially be very deadly.

My parents spent most of their time in a special hospital in Ottawa now, leaving me and Dylan on our own.

Most nights Dallas would stay with us. He would sleep down on the couch or on the chair in my room.

We argued a lot, but he never left my side. I was grateful for that because I was scared to be alone.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed in exhaustion. He put his arm around me.

Okay, I know what this looks like but it's not what you're thinking I swear.

I didn't feel anything romantic for Dallas in the slightest. I mean, I couldn't, he was like my brother. He took care of me and I trusted him, but that was it. We were close, but never like that.

In fact, I had decided never to get romantically involved with anyone ever again. It just caused unnecessary pain. And I needed to be focused on Dylan and his needs, not boyfriends and dates.

So don't get any ideas about me and Dallas, alright? I don't know how he feels on the subject but I'm sure it's similar to me. I was family, he told me all the time. And unless he promotes incest, it's nothing more than that.

I had almost fallen asleep when Dallas' voice filled the silence.

"Maya, I have to tell you something." He whispered.

I didn't even lift up my head, I just waited for him to go on and he did.

"There is something I've been hiding from you because I wasn't exactly sure how to tell you…" he paused "When I was 15… Well…" He pulled his phone out and clicked on it a couple of times before stopping on a picture of him and a little boy. "This is my son, Rock. I call him Rocky."
I pulled the phone out of his hands. "He's adorable! How old is he?" Sure, I was a little ticked he had been hiding something this big, but I could empathize.

He looked at me for a second, "He's four but he'll be 5 too soon." He chuckled. "You aren't mad I didn't tell you?"

"No," I answered shaking, my head. "But I'd like to know why…"

"Well, I don't know. I didn't want you to think that it was the reason I was helping you out. I wasn't the greatest dad to Rocky and I barely ever get to see him anymore because of it…" he explained.

"Who's his mother?" I asked giving back his phone.

"Vanessa, a girl from back home; she lives on the other side of town now. And she hates me…"

"Well, the past is the past and I'm not going to judge you on it. Even if that was the reason you were taking care of me I would be fine with it. I need you Dallas." I smiled at him a rested my head back on his shoulder.

All was quiet for a long moment.

"I love you Maya…" he whispered so low I almost didn't hear it, I wish I hadn't…

I sat up and looked at him, putting distance between us. "You… you what?"

"I… I love you." He repeated.

"Like a sister right?" But I already could tell the answer from the look in his eyes.

"No; more than that, way more than that. And I'm not asking you to say it back… I just…"

"No." I cut him off "Dallas, please don't. Don't do this to me."

"I'm sorry Maya! But its how I feel. I want to take care of you and Dylan." He told me.

"And what do you call this?!" I was trying not to yell. I could feel a wave of sadness washing over me at the wrong time.

"No, I really want to take care of you. You could move into my place, we could…"

I cut him off again. "Get out."

"What?"

"Just go home Dallas. I don't need you to take care of me; I can take care of myself. God, everyone was right about you. You're just a selfish jerk." Tears bubbled up but I forced them back.

"How am I being selfish?!" He asked, getting angry himself.

"You just want to take care of me and Dylan so you can make up for losing your own kid! Sorry Dallas, but I am not your second chance." I hissed.

"See! That's why I didn't want to tell you! I knew you would use it against me like that! Honestly Maya, I don't think I'm the one being selfish in this situation."

Who knew such a wonderful moment could turn so sour in just a couple seconds, well… That's me and Dallas for ya.

"Just go Dallas and don't even think about coming back."

"Fine" And without another word he was out the door.

I sat there alone for a few seconds, and then collapsed into the cushions.

Grief, oh the familiar feeling, it was beginning to feel like home to me as it pulled me under its thrashing waves.

The first tear fell, and then the second, and then the third. Although I didn't sob, just a tear here and there, I wanted to. My chest felt tight and my lungs empty.

Poor Dylan didn't have a fighting chance, with two crazy parents he was definitely going to end up either being a therapist or needing one.

Then the thoughts started creeping into my mind… I started to wish I was dead. Dallas was right I was selfish, and if I was already so selfish why not do the most selfish thing yet.

Why not pull a Cam?

I laughed bitterly. This was all stupid Cam's fault, if he were here… I wouldn't have to worry about any of this, because he would've taken good care of me… right?

But I told Cam I would be happy! And I was, the first couple of days in the hospital, I didn't hit me until I was alone and, or Dylan wouldn't stop crying.

Before I knew what I was doing I found myself in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with my bottle of prescription medicine in my hands. I opened it up. I had just gotten it refilled yesterday; I bet if I took all of them, by the time they found me in the morning I'd be dead.

It must be nice to be dead…

I mean it's what everyone wants when they're in a bad situation. When you embarrassed, angry, sad, you just want to die. So it must be nice to die. I wonder what it's like…

Maybe I'll find Cam in heaven… Or maybe we'll both end up in the deepest of hells. It didn't really matter to me at this point. I just wanted to be anyone but who I was and the worst part was I didn't even really know why.

I looked down at the pills and stared for what seemed like forever and then with a shaky hand I raised the bottle to my lips.


Dallas:

Ring, ring, ring

God damn it, who the hell is calling me this late at night? I pulled my pillow over my head.

Ring, ring, ring

Jesus, they're relentless. I rolled over with a groan and grabbed my phone off the night stand. I didn't even look at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I mumbled.

There was only silence on the other line.

"Hello?" I repeated angrily.

Still nothing but silence. "Look, this better not be damn prank or I swear to god I will find you and make you…"
I was cut off by a soft, sad voice that sent a chill through my bones. "Dallas…"

"Maya? What is it? What's wrong?"

More silence.

"Maya?" I asked franticly.

"I need you to come here. I need you to help me." She pleaded.

"Is there something wrong with Dylan?"

"Dylan's fine…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she answered but her voice failed her.

"Maya, what's going on?"

"I… I want to die…" she whispered and I could hear her start to cry.

No, this wasn't happening. I should have never left her alone like that.

"No, you don't. Think of all the people who would miss you." I was up now, grabbing a shirt from my dresser and throwing it on as I ran to my car.

"No one would… Everyone would be better off…" She didn't sound like herself, she sounded distant and cold.

"No they wouldn't Maya, how about me, and Katie, and your mom, and Dylan."
She cried even more at the mention of Dylan's name.

Now I'm not a religious person but on that drive to Maya's house I prayed more than ever before. The thought of losing her… the thought of Dylan losing her… It was too much for me.

I tried to stay on the phone with her but she hung up without a goodbye when I was about halfway there.

When I got to her house the door was still unlocked from when I left. I threw my phone aside and called for her. I ran into the living room where I left her, she wasn't there.

"Maya!" I screamed. My heart was pounding harder than ever before.

I ran up the stairs just in time to see her stumble out of one of the doors down the hallway.

"Dallas!" She cried but she didn't move from the doorway.

I ran to her. In the bathroom behind her, there were pills all over the floor. I pulled her into my arms.

"How many did you take?" I asked her, almost in tears myself. She was silent and I was suddenly very angry and impatient.

I pulled away from her, grabbed her wrists, and shook her. "How many Maya?!"

"You're hurting me…" She whispered; her eyes full of tears.

I heard Dylan start to cry in her room down the hall. "How many pills Maya?" I asked again.

"None!" she cried. "I couldn't do it Dallas! I just couldn't." She fell back into my arms and sobbed.

I picked her up and carried her to her room, setting her down on her bed while I took care of Dylan, who needed a diaper change.

"I thought I wanted to but I didn't! I'm so sorry Dallas! There's just so much going on, I can't take it!"

I sat down next to her on her bed after I soothed Dylan to sleep.

"I'm going to help you Maya…" I whispered. "I'm going to take care of you and make sure this never happens again."

I knew that meant a couple things would need to happen. I couldn't be traveling around anymore; I needed to be with Maya at all times. So first off I would need to quit the Maple Leafs. Sure it had been my dream since I was a kid, but it wasn't worth it. Maya meant more to me than some stupid game. And second she needed to move out of this house.

"Maya, I want you to come live with me. I have a spare room for you and Dylan. You'll be safe there with me." I told her.

She didn't argue, but instead she just nodded and I realized now wasn't the time to be making any decisions.

"Just rest your head mama. You could use some sleep."

She then asked me a question in the saddest voice I've ever heard. "Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Of course…" I whispered. "I'll always be here for you."

I tucked her in and she soon fell asleep. Why on earth would she think I wouldn't still be here in the morning?

She knew how much I cared about her; she knew what Dylan meant to me. I wasn't going anywhere, and there was nothing she could do about it.


Maya:

I spiraled into my beloved dreamland.

I was sitting on my bed, feeding Dylan when Cam walked in. He threw his school books aside and sat down next to me.

"Hey," He said after kissing my cheek.

"How was work?" I asked him.

"Ehh workish." He answered. "Can I hold him for a sec?"

"Oh course!" I smiled and handed him the little bundle.

"Hey little man… Did you miss me?" We both laughed as the baby let out a little squeal of glee. "I'll take that as a yes."

We sat there for a while… me, Cam, and Dylan; one happy family.

Later Dylan was asleep in his crib and it was just me and Cam gazing into each other's eyes.

I was filled with love, and joy, and happiness, without a hint of exhaustion.

"Maya…" Cam started, breaking off our stare. "I was going to wait until I got enough money to take you out somewhere special but… well I just can't wait any longer."

He got down on one knee. "I'm no good at this stuff…" He blushed "But I do love you. And I know we're a little young and everything but Maya Matlin…" he took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?"

I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming, I didn't want to wake Dylan. So I just nodded and he slid the modest ring onto my finger.
"When I have a better job, I swear I'll buy you something better." He told me looking down.

"No," I answered "I love it. It's better than all the diamonds in the world put together!"

"Really?" his eyes brightened
"Of course! It's not about the ring or money, it's about us being together. I already have everything I need; you and Dylan."

"I love you Maya Matlin." He said.

"I love you too Campbell Saunders."


AN: Well… obviously Maya's a bit delusional at this point lol. Hey I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story! Just because she had the baby does not mean it's finished! I still have plenty more in store for everyone! And if any of you want to check out another Camaya story of mine I just posted a one shot called Russian Roulette. You can find it on my profile. Oh and the song this can be named after could be either the one by Kelly Clarkson or Taylor Swift. I think they both go with Maya and Cam. Thanks everyone and don't forget to review! Love ya!